I got the desire to put this up on the blog today because as I sit here right now, in a coffee shop, I am getting a lot of first impressions. Some are very good and some are very bad.
Nobody is trying to pick me up here. But, an older woman beside me just got hit on by an older gentleman! And I can tell you that he made an awesome first impression with her. I know this because she is still smiling (it’s been 20 minutes) and I am still very impressed at how smooth and attractive he was.
So, if you are in a coffee shop right now – or anywhere else that you may want to make a great first impression with a woman, use the following advice and try to make a woman around you smile and feel good.
If you can make a woman feel as though she is in love with you, then you will win her over. You need to create that ‘love at first sight’ feeling during your first impression.
That may sound like something you don’t want to do if you are only trying to attract women, but believe me, the science behind it will help you attract women and make them want more, which is likely your goal with women.
The feeling of love at first sight (heart pounding and complete focus on him) makes a woman think ‘I want him,’ and that is the exact thing you want her to think about you! Create the feeling of love at first sight with a great first impression.
The Power Of The First Impression
You will never get a second chance at your first impression! I know that is cliché, but it is true! The first impression is so important that a woman will remember it for the rest of her time with you. Research shows that the seeds for love are often planted during a first impression, which I’m assuming has a lot to do with that love at first sight feeling.
You have probably experienced the power of the first impression. When you first meet a woman, you tend to really pay attention to everything she says and does, and you take note of little details that help you form an opinion about her.
I can still remember my first impression of my husband (thankfully it was a good one!)
The point is that in order to attract women quickly, you need to make a great first impression and cause them to feel that ‘love at first sight’ feeling.
Following are a few ways you can make the most out of your first impression.
1. Make The First Move Fast
If you notice a woman, and get her attention, then make the first move fast. The longer you wait to approach her, the less she will react on instinct and the more she will over think the whole thing.
For instance, if you are at a bar, and you make eye contact with a woman, her interest will be aroused. If you approach her quickly, she will still be in that state of arousal, but if you wait too long, she will start to form an opinion about you that could form a negative opinion.
In short, instead of letting her from her opinion about you purely by imagination, you want to get in there and do and say things that leave the first impression you want to leave.
2. Make Intense Eye Contact
Yes, eye contact shows that you are interested in a woman, but it does something more. It revs up the ‘love at first sight’ engine and creates a powerful attraction!
The reason is simple. People who are in love gaze into each other’s eyes. The more in love they are, the longer they gaze. It creates an intense feeling of love and connection. Even if you don’t know a woman intimately, you can recreate that feeling by mimicking a loving gaze.
This means that you have to look at a woman in the eyes more than average. Whether you are talking to her, or just getting her attention, hold your gaze for at least 70% of the time. This will intensify the eye contact without going overboard, and recreate feelings of love inside her. She won’t know why she feels so connected towards you, but she will.
3. Wear Something Red
Red is a color that gets attention. This is why it is used in sirens, stop lights, stop signs, fire trucks, etc…it is a color that we notice.
While red can evoke feelings of fear or anger, in the right context it can also cause feelings of passion. Think of a woman’s red lipstick or a tight red dress.
Of course, you shouldn’t wear red lipstick to make a good first impression and attract women…it just won’t work. But you can add some red to your outfit. Wear a red hat, a red tie, or even a red dress shirt. Women will notice your red, and all you have to do is match its color with a little bit of passion in your personality!
In the end, the first impression is very important. Go beyond just making a good first impression, and create feelings of attraction that mimic the love at first sight feeling.
4. Don’t Make Too Many Gestures
If the message that you are trying to send is one of confidence, control, and focus then don’t run up to a woman waving your hands and twitching your body like you possess too much energy. This kind of movement sends the message that you are not comfortable in your own body. It also makes women uncomfortable to be near you.
What you want to do is keep your body in control and have a relaxed demeanor about you. You should use gestures, but use them when appropriate. This will send a message that you are in control and will be a calm, confident person to be around.
5. Maintain a Confident Posture.
Do not approach a woman slumped over, arms crossed, and eyes facing towards the floor. It doesn’t matter how good of a conversation you maintain with her, this kind of body posturing will speak of low self-confidence or a negative attitude. Either way, it’s not an attractive stance.
Hold yourself high, pull your shoulders back, keep your head up, and send a message that you are a man who is worthy of other people’s attention and affection. That is the kind of first impression posture that will leave a woman wanting to meet you again.
6. Be Positive, But Not Too Positive
A negative guy who complains about everything under the sun is not going to make a good first impression. That kind of guy will have women counting down the minutes until they can get away from them, and then cause them to never look back. Do not be negative during your first impression, as women will be expecting your best behavior, and a negative attitude should not be your best behavior.
Having a positive attitude is always going to win over a woman’s opinion about you. Just make sure you do not overdo it. If you are singing about sunshine and lollipops, then you can appear to be a little crazy. Just send the message that you love life and that you are a happy person.
7. Talk About Relevant Things
During a first impression, you do not want to talk about things you normally discuss with your friends. Anything that is personal should be avoided. The woman you are talking to does not know your beliefs and values and, therefore, cannot gauge what you are really trying to say when you talk about how upset you feel today.
Talk about your surroundings. Talk about the things you have in common. Talk about the person sitting next to you. Just keep the conversation relevant and avoid information that is too personal.
8. Keep An Eye on Her Body Language
If you want to gauge what kind of impression you are making on her, watch her body language. If she is backing away from you, folding her arms, or raising her eyebrows, then you may be making a bad first impression and need to adjust your tone, conversation, or body language.
On the other hand, if she is smiling, relaxed, and making good eye contact with you, then you are probably making a good first impression and you can just keep on doing what you are doing.
7. Ask Questions
When you are not asking questions, you are most likely talking about yourself, your opinions, or your beliefs. When you talk too much about yourself, you can appear to be selfish. A selfish attitude is a big turn off during a first impression.
Try asking questions to appear interested in her. The more you allow her to talk about herself, or share her opinions and beliefs, the more she will view you as someone who actually cares about her and what she has to say. You will always leave women (and other people) wanting to see you again if you can show them that you care about them.
8. Be Authentic
During a first impression, you may need to be a little more formal in your conversation, but you still have to be authentic. Do not agree with something you disagree with just to impress a woman.
Do not talk in a way that you think will impress her when it goes against the way you normally talk. You will make a better impression if you stand by your morals and beliefs and stay true to the person you are. (Just make sure you don’t push your ideas on someone else or they may label you as overbearing.)
9. Be Well-Mannered
Nobody likes an impolite person. If you are rude, arrogant, or inconsiderate then you will leave a bad taste in her mouth, and she will label you as someone that she does not want to meet again.
Make sure you are polite and take into consideration her feelings and the feelings of other people around you. Being polite will show them that you are mindful of other people and that you have emotional intelligence.
10. Be Well Groomed
This may seem obvious, but there are many times that we can walk out the door without a concern about our presentation and make many bad first impressions along the way. People judge harshly based on appearance, and even if you are well mannered, intellectual, and funny during a first impression, people will still base a majority of their opinion on the way you dress and look.
It doesn’t matter if you do not think you are going to run into a woman or not, always leave your house dressed to impress in order to make the best first impression wherever you go.
11. Keep The Conversation Going
If you have nothing to say, and there are many awkward silences in your conversation, then you will probably make an awkward first impression that will leave a woman not wanting to have to go through another uncomfortable meeting with you. You do not want that to happen! So you have to keep the conversation flowing.
Finding things to talk about is not that hard. All you have to do is listen to the woman who is talking to you, and make note of any unusual references they mention during the conversation. Anything that they mention will be something that they enjoy, think about, or are aware of. It can be a reference about a person, place, or event.
For example, if it is raining outside, and she mentions how the rain will be good for gardens, then she probably has some sort of attraction towards gardens. When you are stuck for conversation, bring up that reference that she made about gardens, and she will probably have a lot to say about them.
Use the above 11 tips to help you make the most out of your first impression. Never take the first impression lightly. If you make a good impression, you can leave women wanting to see you again. And if you don’t make a good impression, you can ruin your chances of making another impression at all.