Whether you’ve been with your wife for just a few months or many, many, years, there will be times when you wonder if she still loves you as much as she did when you first met. It is a scary thought but a valid one.
At some point, you will question the status of your marriage, and it’s important you figure out sooner than later whether she still loves you.
Just be careful you don’t jump the gun too soon when it comes to figuring out whether the love is still there, or all is lost.
This means you can’t just assume you know how she is feeling.
Just because the two of you are married doesn’t mean you know how she feels. You can’t read her mind, and that means you don’t really know what she’s thinking or feeling, unless she shows or tells you.
You’re going to have to observe and connect the dots for some of it.
Try not to be too judgmental. Just because she doesn’t make you breakfast one day or she forgets to feed the dog does not mean she’s fallen out of love with you. Take your time to find out exactly what to look for if you think your marriage is coming to an end.
Signs Your Wife Doesn’t Love You Anymore
Sign #1 – The sharing halts
One of the toughest indicators that your relationships falling apart is when your wife decides to stop sharing with you. If she decides she doesn’t want to buy new furniture for the house or purchase a new pet, you’ve got a reason to be concerned.
You see, those examples are dual commitments, which means they connect you, and you both have a responsibility to them. Worse yet, if you see your wife is suddenly putting bills in just your name, it’s safe to say she might not be in love with you anymore.
Sign #2 – She gives you the silent treatment
There will be days when you really don’t feel like talking. However, if she starts becoming obviously silent around you when she was normally quite chatty, you’re going to have to consider the fact she might be thinking of a split.
In general, girls are more talkative than guys. Women always seem to have something to talk about, and it’s healthy for you to listen.
If your wife suddenly changes her tune and stops the chatty talk, you’ve got a great reason to be worried that she might have fallen out of love with you.
Sign #3 – She’s constantly grumpy, but only with you
This is a telltale sign she’s not in love with you anymore. Normally, when you love someone, you aren’t negative towards them. Instead, you look to liven them up and make them smile. Even when you do something that drives her batty, she finds a way to look past it and keep smiling.
When the sound of you chewing or just breathing bugs her, it’s safe to say she really doesn’t want to be around you.
Does she suddenly hate the way you laugh or how you eat your dinner in a specific order?
If these are things your wife is now obviously irritated with, you better be careful because it looks like she doesn’t love you like she used to.
Sign #4 – She’s turned off her listening ears
In a healthy marriage, you try hard to listen to what each other has to say. So, if one partner decides they don’t want to listen anymore, it’s a good sign the relationship feelings have changed for the worse.
There’s no question a wife should always be there to listen to what her man has to say and try to help him get through it. When she suddenly decides she doesn’t want to listen anymore, it’s a strong indicator she doesn’t love you anymore.
Communication is everything in a healthy relationship, and it’s got to work both ways. Your connection will crumble fast if she’s decided she’s not listening to what you have to say anymore.
Sign #5 – There’s no holding hands or hugging, there’s no sex
Studies show that being intimate in a marriage is the glue that holds it all together. This is where that internal connection is solidified and nourished. Humans need a physical connection, and whether it’s just handholding or sex, it’s critical in any healthy relationship.
If you didn’t have that intimate physical connection, you would just be friends.
When you have children, it seems to stifle the intimate stuff for a while, but normally, it comes right back in time.
If your wife turns off the intimate stuff or pushes you away, it’s a clear indication the love is long gone.
Sign #6 – She’s focusing on just her
There’s no doubt you want your wife to focus on herself and her career. Yes, you’re in the partnership of marriage, but you are still two individuals that need to keep your identities separate.
However, if you notice that your wife is doing only for herself, it’s not usually a good thing.
In a healthy marriage, the focus should be balanced on both of you. This includes being there for your man when he needs you, cheering him on if need be. If your wife falls out of love, she disconnects and stops focusing on you.
The reason she is focusing on herself and not you is because she knows, soon enough, all her focus will be completely on her. This point marries closely with selfishness. If you feel like your wife is becoming selfish, it’s a bad sign she doesn’t love you anymore.
Sign #7 – There’s not more checking in on you
It’s normal for the spark to die some after your marriage moves along. In time, your communication will become less consistent, but it should never cease completely. If you really care about someone, you will check in with them during the day to see how things are going.
If suddenly you aren’t getting any more text messages during the day, it’s good reason to be concerned your wife might be falling out of love with you.
Maybe she knew you had an important presentation today and didn’t bother checking in to see how it went.
Space is perfectly fine in a relationship, but there’s a difference between having a little space and not bothering to see what’s going on at all.
Sign #8 – She’s a cheater
This is an obvious clue that your wife isn’t in love with you anymore. When she cheats on you, she is telling you that she really doesn’t respect or love you. If she did, she wouldn’t cheat in the first place!
Anyone that has powerful feelings for someone isn’t going to kiss or hop into bed with another person. If your wife is a cheater, you need to kick her to the curb, fast.
Sign #9 – Your wife is taking advantage of you
Give and take is what a healthy union is all about. If you start to realize your wife is taking a heck of a lot more than she’s giving, you need to be wary. A healthy relationship is all about equality, with each partner doing their part to make the other person happy.
When your wife stops doing her part and tries to take advantage of you, it’s clear she doesn’t love you anymore. When she’s stressing you out and making your life hard, she doesn’t deserve to be married to you anymore.
Sign #10 – There’s no time for you
An amazing aspect of marriage is that you get to spend so much time with your lover and best friend. This is why, when your partner stops making time for you, it’s such a strong indicator she doesn’t want you anymore.
It’s perfectly fine to be a little stressed if, suddenly, her friends become a priority over you. This just means she’s trying to avoid you, and that’s never good.
In a healthy relationship, it’s okay to have separate lives, but when you are not included in hers, it’s all bad.
Sign #11 – She’s not interested in fixing anything
When a woman falls out of love with a man, she’s not likely to want to try to fix whatever is broken. She’s probably thinking there is really nothing worth saving because your wife has already checked out of the marriage, whether you know it or not.
So, if you can see that your wife isn’t willing to try to fix what’s wrong in your marriage, you can rest assured something is wrong. Perhaps you need to accept the fact it’s likely over and figure out a way to move on.
No matter what, when you love someone, you put everything you have into making your bond stronger. If something isn’t working, you do what you can to fix it.
When your wife loves you, she’s just not going to give up on you.
Sign #12 – You wife isn’t letting you in
In general, women are emotional creatures. Guys can be too, but women seem to take the cake with this trait. So, when your wife doesn’t want to open up to you about what she’s thinking and feeling, it’s a critical signal she might be out of love with you.
Has she suddenly stopped talking about what she wants to do in the near future? Does she skip around what’s really bugging her? Has she created an emotional wall between the two of you?
These are all strong indicators that she just doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
Sign #13 – Your wife isn’t paying you any attention
If she happens to forget to do a favor for you, that’s one thing, but if she skips an important event or makes sure she’s conveniently busy, it’s a whole different can of worms.
When your wife stops trying to remember the dates of important functions for you, it’s a clear sign she is totally out of love.
Sign #14 – Your wife has crazy high expectations
You normally really shouldn’t have very high expectations with regards to your partner. When you got married, you made vows to each other to accept and love one another forever, no matter what.
If suddenly, she isn’t happy with something about your union or with you specifically, it’s just not a good thing.
Sign #15 – Your wife is always talking about someone else
When you are suddenly hearing a lot about “Jonny from work,” or “Billy at the gym,” it’s not a good thing. If other guys are being brought up routinely, you better be careful. When your wife is putting the focus on someone else, she’s definitely not thinking about you. This means she is thinking about these other people and obviously really doesn’t care what you think.
If she did, she wouldn’t be saying anything at all.
Chances are, she is also forming new relationships with other people because she knows she is going to need them soon because she’s not going to be with you.
This doesn’t mean she can’t have any male friends. But there’s a way to do this, and how she is proceeding is not the right way.
Be careful with this one because jealousy may get in the way of your logic. This is only a bad sign if she is doing this knowingly and all the time. If she is, there’s a seriously good chance she is done with your marriage.
Sometimes, when your wife doesn’t love you, it gets worse. Often, she could also be cheating on you.
Has the thought crossed your mind that your wife might be sleeping around on you?
Here are a few red flags that your wife might be cheating on you
Red Flag #1 – Your wife’s in her 30
The rates of cheating start to rise among women in their 30s but only after they’ve been hitched for 7 years plus.
Red Flag #2 – Your wife is working
The truth is, working women are more likely to cheat on their husband than stay at home moms. To add to that, they’re most likely to sneak around with a co-worker. Part of this is just opportunity. We naturally love the people we are with.
This factor also digs into the stresses in life today, where women may think it’s safe to relieve their stresses safely with a co-worker. I think of that as a fantasy escaping from reality, because, when all is said and done, the wife has to go back to her partner and her reality.
Red Flag #3 – She’s making lots of money
When a woman is making lots of money, it opens doors of opportunity. Studies show that women making more than $75,000 per year are more likely to cheat. That’s a bit of a scary stat, with exceptions to the rule of course. Bottom line is you better take it seriously.
Red Flag #4 – Your wife has been married before you
There’s no doubt that a woman that has been married before is more likely to cheat than a woman that just got married for the first time. That makes sense because the door of opportunity has been opened, and the vows have already been somewhat breached.
Red Flag #5 – One of your wife’s parents cheated
There is something to say about the experiences children have with their parents. When a child has been brought up in a household where a parent or two has cheated, they are much more likely to cheat. So, if your wife has a parent that has cheated, you better keep both eyes open.
Red Flag #6 – Your wife just isn’t happy with you
When a girl says she’s not happy with her marriage, she’s much more likely to have an affair. The weird fact is that, when a woman isn’t happy in her marriage, often she can justify cheating without the guilt. When she is trying to keep it together for the kid’s sake, she’s even more likely to sleep around.
Red Flag #7 – She’s got a kid that’s one year old
For some reason, wives report a decline in their marriage satisfaction when they have a child around one year of age. So, if this is the case for you and you suspect your wife is cheating, you better push this investigation a little further to see if it’s true.
Red Flag #8 – There’s no more church or religious venues
Women that don’t attend religious services are more than 2.5 times more likely to cheat on their partner. Guess a little united faith goes a long way in keeping a marriage alive.
Red Flag #9 – You’re playing poker and she’s watching “The Bachelorette.”
When couples go to therapy after they’ve experienced an affair, most report they’ve been spending less and less quality time together. Guys seem to think that, once they’ve tied the knot, they have nothing to worry about.
Stupid of them because without the effort, the wife is eventually going to wander off to find someone that makes them feel loved and adored.
Red Flag #10 – Her self-esteem is suffering
One of the sad benefits of an affair is a boost in self-esteem for the woman. It’s a thrill for a girl to get an ego boost with an affair, despite what it’s costing her in the long-term.
If your wife has a weak ego, you might need to consider she could be having an affair.
Red Flag #11 – Your wife seems to be a little whacky
In general, studies show that women with narcissistic tendencies, who crave enhanced sex, are more likely to jump into a relationship outside their marriage. Add to that, women that are friendly and extroverted and that get approached the most are even more likely to act on their immediate impulses and have an affair without thinking of the future consequences.
Red Flag #12 – Your wife is HOT
This is a tough one. When your wife is certified HOT, she’s always going to have men ogling over her. If you aren’t fulfilling all her wants and needs, it’s easy for her to accept one of the propositions. I’m not saying the grass is greener on the other side, but she will try if you are giving her reason to do so.
Red Flag #13 – She’s just getting hotter
Is your wife working out like crazy? Is she buying new clothes and getting her hair done? If your wife is constantly making herself look hotter and hotter, it’s a clear indication she’s cheating on you.
Red Flag #14 – Your wife wants you to wear a harness
If your wife is suddenly introducing you to new toys and wants you to wear a new device, that’s a strong signal that she’s been learning and that she’s been sleeping around.
Now, if she’s been researching this and told you about it or she’s been reading up on this, that’s a different story altogether.
Be wary of this one, please.
Final Words
It is tough to accept the fact your wife might not love you anymore. You need to remember that the only person you control is you. There might be a time when you really do need to throw in the towel and move on.
Pay attention to these signs that your wife doesn’t love you and these signals she might be cheating on you. Follow your gut and connect the dots until you figure out exactly what’s going on.
Jay Kay says
The very fact your asking this question, like me, is probably THE best sign.
“Experts” say if you have a gut feeling about things like this, it’s usually correct. Sadly.
Tony says
After years of marriage 30 my wife trears me like i dont exist. I have always been there for her. However the last 2 years have been,hell. She walked out on me then came back to pack and pack a suit case and left again. She said she would have never came back if she had more money. She hasn’t treated me the same since. No love me ,unless i say it first. Then most of the time still none. She said she never cheated but i think she did. She really don’t ever let me touch her anymore. In my opinion maybe we should just bury it, and move on. Then i won’t try to hug her and act like i want her anymore. Maybe that would be best. I’d miss her but she won’t miss me
T says
Yes. She has checked out. Leave her. Find someone who makes you feel good and wants to be with you. This woman obviously said she would leave if she had money. It’s not fair to you for her to treat you that way and use you for money. Plus doing things with you just for money is called prostitution and is mostly illegal. If she treats you, who she at least used to love, that way then I would put absolutely nothing past her. Drop her like a bad habit and go on to make yourself the best you can be. Good luck!
Hector R says
I’m married with mine for 5 years and the from the last year on if I touch her anywhere even in the arms I feel like she is moving off me so I don’t make contact with her, she doesn’t hold hands with me, don’t hug me I got to ask her for and when she doit it’s feel like she doesn’t want to,she doesn’t talk to me much always on the cell phone and sex more than 6 month that she doesn’t have sex with me now she’s going with her son to Florida to spend Christmas with her exhousband family for two weeks. I’m destroy because I love her very much but when she comes from Florida I’ll be out of the house and move on I can’t take it anymore.
Roger says
Hey Tony, grats on 30 years, that’s a lot of time and effort, please take these forums with a grain of salt, only you and your wife know your relationship, some things may not be what they seem, the woman is vary complex, she could be going through menopause, or have health issues which can cause an imbalance and depression, she may not even know why she feels this way, my friend always says it will all come out in the wash, and a relationship is fluid and always moving and changing, she may say dumb stuff, but prob doesn’t mean it, and just needs help.
“Women need love to feel intimate” men need intimacy to feel love”, I really hope you guys find each other again, Gl Tony
james says
So this is the end, right?
Dennis Mirpuri says
Hi Kate, we have been married for four years but been living separately for the past one and a half years since we had several misunderstandings. She returned to her father’s house while I moved into a single room apartment. After the concerns were addressed by both my uncle and her father, we have been intimate whenever I sleep over at her end yet she rarely checks on me and hasn’t visited me more than twice in my own apartment. My two kids live with her and though I pay for the upkeep of my kids and their school fees, economic difficulties have denied me the opportunity to take her out lately. I realized she focuses on her job and doesn’t care about me. She only responds to my whatsapps, mostly with one liners which is sent within 30 minutes of my message. She recently sent me a message at 1am and all of a sudden she went off for two days without checking to see how I was doing. I also didn’t initiate a conversation for a change. I called after two days and her excuse was that she was sick. My response was that I notified her when I fell sick recently so how come she kept it from me? She couldn’t answer. She gets home very late from work. What do you think is happening to my marriage?
Kate says
Seems like she is not emotionally connected to you anymore.
Rishabh Chandra says
She is cheating on you dude and using you for money. Get out of your relationship please
Abdelhamid says
It been 3 months that im married…i remarked some specialy movements from my wife when she uses her phone…i thought and thought then i did spy app in her phone with out ahe knows…this happend after 10 days of marriage…i discovered she speaks to some one else and that she loves him and me and my love to her was just affaire …i was chocked and i reallly did not know what to do right …because it was about two week from out wedding…then i deciced to tell her about my discover on about her…then she appolpgised and i forgived her that week….the problem is that after that day i hated her body and lost trust and daily im afraid thinking if i get kids …will they be from me ??…. now it s been two months of this story i totaly do not have any feelings toward her i also lost lost lost trust in her ….i do not know if it s possible to fix this or i better divorce her
Rishabh Chandra says
leave her dude. Find a new life
Rishabh Chandra says
You better divorce her as fast as you can. I can tell you she will cheat.
Vikas m says
Prey for her wellness, believe me, it works.
Also, believe me, it will take some time like a year but if you make her happy and will try to see her good attributes you will soon start liking her for everything that she will do good for you.
See all girls and men are of the same type, so if now she is loyal to you and happy with you, then don’t worry, live your life in easy way.
ummwhat says
vikas m,
did you even read what he posted?
Ashley says
I agree with him. Relationships are based on trust and friendship. Marriage is based on compromising sacrifices of imperfections for the sake of happiness. Happy marriage is both parties work, but most important Gods grace. Prayers are the unseen bonds that make impossibles to be possible. No two strangers can live happily together unless they both agree and are willing to grow through it.
Manny Soto says
My wife is always not nice I said I will pick up the kids at School would you like to come? Answer I was going to pick them up, you can go get them I will wait. Please go with me no I don’t want to go. She just doesn’t want to be around me . Last year she was with another man I saw pictures of her with him in bed.
Nenette says
Sorry to hear that. I’m in a similar situation, my husband is mentally abusive and I found some texts and pictures from a girl in this chatting app and I’m thinking in ending things but there’s too much at stake, I have a daughter. What happened in your case? if you don’t mind me asking… did you end things?
Mark Broughton jr says
I’m sorry for just responding out of nowhere, but don’t just stay because of kid’s. I know you just want them to be happy but they will see hear and feel the broken relationship.
And from the point of view I had growing up. I heard and seen things no kids should an I wouldn’t of if my parents would have just separated when they knew instead of allowing it to grow worse. I know this is going to sound funny after saying all that but do what’s best for you are the reason why I say that is because you can’t do what’s best for your child if you can’t do what’s best for you if you ain’t taking care of you, you can’t take care of ur child.😃🤔 just something to think about.
frank says
Hello mine she doesn’t answer my calls not reply to any message no thanks to anything i do she keeps saying what if i cheat each time we have misunderstood each other she threatened me about moving out cheating…
Raymond Cachia says
Well I take my wife from the street she had 0 and I give her a home never cheated on her and I head to come back to Norway and she found an other man. The problem is that I still love her. When I love, I love all the way. I hope one day I find the right woman, But for now I dont trust them. I am still her. I hope one day I find a woman to love again for the rest of my life. I am willing to have a woman with nothing and I give her all I can. I did to Edwina but after I give she went with another man
Jacob says
Hi…my wife bought a bond house in 2016 ..we moved in together and it was exciting and she started complaining this year that i must help paying fo the house and knows very well m not working nicely like her even the money i get is just a living wage but now she put me under pressure to look for bettet job so that i can able to help her finish her debts or we will be in marriage of out of property if we dont pay the house togrther
Rajan says
Although she is right but, its v risky to put our money in someone else property.
One of my known,s wife left after getting millions of rupees property. now that guy is left alone for no valid reason.
Yes, It is the demand of a family. So only if you are convinced she is your soul mate then only you can give her anything.
Kim says
She has a point, try and get her something extra. She will appreciate and it will save your marriage.
TRANG NGUYEN says
Yes I went through something similar and If the other person doesnt help rebuild trust. Is because they dont want to and you will continue will start to lose interest but filled with anger. So be honest with yourself, can you trust her again?
Kia says
I love reading all your comments, seems that you are really concern and worried about your wives, i hope my husband same as you guys. I love him so much, but he just ignore me always. Weve been married for 3 years and it lot of things has change. Honestly, when we are 2 years together, i always get mad because he put all our money in trading and lost. Now it seems he doesn’t love me anymore because of my action getting mad losing all our money. I dont know what to do, he doesn’t want to talk to me about his plans in our lives, he doesn’t care about what i feel emotionally. We also have no sex unlike before that we do it everyday. I miss the old him, the time he cares about what i feel, the time we talk about our plans.
I miss him so much even if he stays at home. He never look for a job and seems he doesnt care about our daily lives. 🙁
WildRose_L says
Hello Kia,
I am SO sorry to hear about ur not mutual love…I’m afraid to say that ur husband is in love with risk (gamer/gambler). He’s definitely not mature enough 4 u. But even worse, he’s sick (like a drug addict) & unfortunately if u choose to help him to fight this disease in hope to finally bond & get intimate in loving way u may end up with: being completely broken & drained for to start new relationships or being used (mentally, money wise or even sexually on days he finds a job or gets money from someone in illegal way, or from u bcz u love him).
Don’t let ur heart to get rotten by the time u find true love of ur life. Don’t let this negative person to poison ur loving personality & get disappointed 4 the rest of ur life. Don’t let him use u so selfishly, bcz man, who truly loves can’t torture his woman by being So quiet about his life plans with her.
My advise is: call him out for 1 hour talks every day during a week & tell him how unhappy u feel about ur relationship. After u r done expressing ur hurt, ask him What bothers him about You (but make sure to stay COMPLETELY quiet & listen him without interruptions & self-defense until the VERY end, try to understand his point by asking to clarify what he meant). And at last Ask him: So how do we fix it to save/reborn our relationship?
If he still loves u despite being stubborn & mb not flexible in life, he will feel bad 4 how he treated u (same as u feel bad 4 his emotions he was holding all in himself by trying to deal with this world like a real man in ur marriage & u haven’t estimated his efforts). He will try to figure it out the solutions & start his life journey with u, as a team.
If he doesn’t care about fixing it & doesn’t respect ur knowledge enough to trust his life ideas/plans anymore (treats u like a child, who knows nothing while u r being more successful actually, but he just won’t face it & to ask ur help), then I’m afraid u’ll have to collect ur strength & end up with it (also with ur addiction just being around him) & concentrate on some another target until u fully get over him & r open 4 better future. Plz do Not start new relationship in rush (unless they r agreed to be just friends with benefits beforehand & mutually) & never feel like u have to be with any man, who might help u out of ur doom. Don’t be afraid to stay single – being in wrong relationship is exhausting & doesn’t make u happy after all still, also may bring up not the best qualities in u.
Sorry for such a long lesson, but I just couldn’t pass by ur story, when saw no one else had Anything to say, especially men, who should have understood the nature of ur man fast & easy than woman I am…) Hope I’m being useful 4 ur case & some other similar cases & u take ur happiness in Ur hands since now on! Bcz Every person shall be loved & respected back if u get in relationship xoxo 🌹
Michelle says
The signs aboit your wife cheating ARE RIDICULOUS and pure bull shit
Bert says
hello cheating wife! 😉
Faithful Loving wife says
Seriously. So, if a woman is in her 30’s she’s cheating??? I am 45. Never cheated on my husband in my 30’s (and believe me, l could have). Know what else? I not only had a job… I had TWO jobs! One was M-F 9 to 5 and the other was as a bartender … Uh-ob… I had to talk to other men and work with other men. 🥺 But guess what…. I still didn’t cheat. And I still loved my husband.. it’s almost like I read this post before it was written and just said, “l am going to prove this generic, stereotyping idiot who calls him/herself a knowledge writer-wrong and actually love my husband whom l have know since hush school!
Readers-PLEASE… IGNORE THE ADVICE YOU JUST READ IN THIS ARTICLE. IT IS SH*T!!!!!!!!
Alicia says
Lol I fully agree! I was reading this like, what? Like hot wives cheat? So not so hot wives… less likely to cheat. Unemployed wives don’t cheat? Come on. Ridiculous.
elita says
Yes Agree!! .most of people give this Advice .their the one Having trouble in their married and stuck .Intead Advice to fix it or be bettet person .those Bullsh*ts tell u to do Shiit .Sory with my poor english . Fix your married be bettet person Be Humble .Married is not easy .ask advice with elderly .not bullsh*t people lol .thank .
Cliff says
You’re a unicorn. I hope I can find a woman like you to replace my cheating, ungrateful selfish ex-wife. Twenty-nine years of toil (often worked 80 to 100 hours a week when we were younger) to provide for her and our children. After working my butt off, more work at home: equal share of chores in the house plus for me, yard work, home maintenance, auto maintenance, taking care of financial matters, and taking kids to school functions. That lazy b***h cheated because she didn’t feel a connection with me all those years. I didn’t give her attention. Well yeah! I was WORKING to support your lazy a**! Good bye. Good riddance to her. Please tell me there are many more like you because what I’ve been reading depresses me. It seems like women these days have a sense of entitlement. Men seem to always get screwed in divorce court, so they have to put up with cheating or lose access to their children, lose the house, lose half of their liquid assets and then get stuck with alimony. My brother has been so screwed over that he cannot afford to live on his own and he makes a six digit income. I don’t think I will ever trust another woman. I say this to decent young men who have good jobs: DON’T GET MARRIED. In the end she’ll run off with a lowlife POS, you will get screwed over by her lawyer.
Mashih says
Hi… my wife has a job. Do u think she’s is cheating. She works from 9-5 on weekdays…
Ernest says
Hi my wife have ask me to stay for three weeks with my mum. Once she check on me with that 3 weeks and after all till now no sign of her. She has been mentioning the name of his previous boy friend. I don’t know whats happening now.
Rajan says
Buddy, first of all, don’t ever plan for any child if you are not sure about her loyalty. Or you can’t imagine how painful it will be for you and for your child.
Secondly, clear the things soon as possible, also try to make her happy in all ways, don’t fight, and don’t create any negative atmosphere and don’t get attached too much and tell her clearly that in case of any such activities you will not going to accept.
Even if you feel she is not loyal, the take it easy, life has many more better color, Leave her, she don’t deserve you.
Groove toy says
What a horrible shorty and poorly written article clearly written by someone that hasn’t even the slightest clue about relationships.
22March2019 says
Respectfully disagree. See here right around this week, I just got into separation mode with my wife of 7 years and 3 months (compounded by having known her for a good 17 years prior!) and frankly on my end it doesn’t look like a reconciliation is in order if at all. Only thing fortunate (bitter irony because we’ve been trying before) here is that there’s no child in the equation.
Key difference is; I’m not here looking for answers to save it and are now fairly convinced that she’s finally not worth any further sacrifices or the fight to get her back, clear as day.
Signs from no.s 1-7, 9-13 and 15 in the article sums up what the hell has been going on with us at 99% accuracy for as long as a year, let me tell you that. With hints going back 2 years before. And as for sign no.8, forgiven her TWICE over the course of 24 years now and in our latest development, this is the only thing that’ll be a mild shocker to me if there is actually something going on. 9/10 indications points to that. Past the point of caring even if I’m wrong.
If I have to pick 1, I’d say sign no.11 is the best overall indicator. Even more so than no sex. And if you got an 11 going on for a bit now “congratulations” she’ll either cheat or bail on you because she already have a side dick and a fallback plan, thus the absence of need to fix things on the main issue.
Look… as mentioned before if anyone here in that same boat as me and are dealing with signs no.s 1-7, 9-13 (to the author you messed up the signs escalation:- no.8 “cheater” should be 13 with 9 moved to 8) and 15 for months now? I hate to break it to you but yes whatever you got right now is doomed and any amount of effort you put in to try and plug the leaks however well meaning you are, are just slowing down the inevitable. You don’t even need to wait or catch her cheating because with 1-13 prolonged, the latter WILL happen soon rather than later.
Don’t be like me who’d wasted roughly 3 years after the 1st big sign of a lie happened. NO ONE deserve to suffer all of that, that long. Including the wife. The sooner both parties call it, the faster for both to pick things up and move on.
Blaine Perrella says
Kate, You hit it dead on with this article 15 signs. I checked off yes to almost all of the symptoms that you mentioned. I have been with my fiancé just under 10 years. We had a wonderful loving relationship, except for when she verbally and emotionally abused me. Luckily I found 2 Valentines day cards in our P O Box from her primary other boyfriend just a month ago. I opened them on the way home and discovered her cheating. I sent her packing with her daughter back to Calif., I also made her return her phone since I was paying for it. When I went through her phone I discovered several other partners were in love with her also. She was Hot, a 9. Luckily I dodged a bullet, I was planning our wedding for this summer. Thank you for your well written “signs”. Most Guys like me are oblivious to this type of covert activity our wives are up to. B
Someone laughing says
Fiancé for just under 10 years? So you were dating for just under 10 years….never married. Red flag…
Solomon says
Pls help..my house wife threatens to cheat on me to get job and her attitude is unbearable. What can I do? Can I report her to her parent or our pastor. I have stopped eating at home and this didn’t bother her.
Just says
Stay single save your life, also enjoy life, pray every day
Charles says
Some and my wife have been together for 7 years she is in her 30s. She has cheated on me once in the past. Now thru our relationship, we have separated 7 times. In all seperations she left me. I asked her not to contact me again. But every time she would find a way to get a hold of me and ask to come back. Now I know it’s alsoy fault for letting her come back every time. But she has always been the special someone for me. I would literally drop what I was doing or anyone I was talking to and come running back with open arms. So many people have told me she is not even half as pretty as the other girls I talk to when where separated. But I don’t know. When I look at her, I see know one else more beautiful. When were together she seems so in love with me. I mean she looks at me and touches me like I’m her fantasy. We have the best sex life. But just when things are going so good. Life takes a left turn. And she does some of the things above and I feel like she is cheating again. Then a week or too later poof she is gone without a trace. I know are relationship is toxic. But is there anyway to save our marriage? If I could get her to go to counseling or something? She is my heaven on Earth. I don’t want to give up on our marriage. I am so much in love with her.
nyoki victor says
yes there is something to save it . love conquers all and the type of love you have for her is one that no man other man can show her thats why she keeps coming back . so the best way to hold her is to introduce her to the one that knows all and is always there with even when you are not around her and that is Jesus Christ . let both of you become true Christians and put God first and i promise and assures you that things will be best.
xx says
indeed christ is the answer. get yourselves to read the bible there is all the answers in there.
Wj says
She sounds like a narcissist like they say run…..but quietly and quickly
Tony says
My does things on her own a lot of time I don’t know she even left. She got her own checking account and doesn’t put any money into are account anymore. She once told me before we got married that she didn’t know if she should marry me because I didn’t make enough money. We have been married for 27 yrs and the last 5 years have been like hell at times. I pay all of the bills and she pays for food. She stopped working about 3 years ago and got some doctor to help her SSI. I have not had s*x with in about 6 years and do not sleep in the same bad anymore. She told that she was not having it of any kind and if wanted it to go and find someone else. At times I would just wish that she would just say let’s get a divorce. I can honestly say that I do not love her that much any more. I do respect her because she is the mother of my children but other than that I could care less where she go or whom she is with. My friends say that I have roommate instead of a wife. I am seeing someone and like her very much because she has given me intimacy that I never had from my wife.
Francis Ettandip says
Hey,
Am married for over 5 years now and was living with my wife for 4years before we even got married. Later I travelled abroad and 15months later I invited her to join me.
She came and we stayed together for 7months. Be it as it may we used to have issues once a while , disagreements and fights as couple but we fix them always. But during most fights she always have the mind to want to leave.
Two months ago she got a job and the company provided accomodation for them making us to start living separately. Knowing where we are and being jealous in my marriage as I might put I did not stop checking on her or following her up to know her every moves by checking on her and calling her every day twice at least.
Later came a time she started making new friends, of which is normal but when I tried asking about one of her colleagues, the degree of her intimacy to him to the extend of having his pictures in a barbershop on her phone and two of his mobile numbers, hell let loose that day 14/04/19.
She became furious that am controlling her and dont want her to have friends and that for years she has been in pain trying to please me because there certain things she did out of her wish just for peace. But from now on the freedom stops. She asked for separation.
I did all I can to manage to bring her to peace for 1mo th before she could come to terms to respond sometimes to my message or call.
She has be so passive and less concerned about issues concerning us. Before in the morning or before bedtime we check on each other but now she doesnt.
I feel like she is out of love and even an iota of care or concern is there.
What do I do?
I have tried to find out what wrong I did to push her to such behaviours. I noticed some advice hv completely changed. But she doesn’t hv any trust, confidence or love n care for any more. We have a 4year old daughter.
Thanks.
ES says
My wife has not been the most romantic person or loving person since we had kids. She states she’s always been that way, but i don’t remember her being like that when we met. We’ve been together 21 years and married nearly 16 years. We have 2 children aged 14 & 10. We have both been married before. I’m 50 and have a high sex drive. Which is frustrating as in the last 5 years we’ve had sex on average 3-4 time a year. So far this year we’ve had sex just once. We moved overseas last December and neither of us is stressed with work, as we’re really fortunate that we don’t work. We don’t spend much time together, doing our own thing each morning and then having kids clubs, flute and footy to sort out. we then watch tv in separate rooms. We don’t do date nights, when i’ve suggested this, its always been received positively but never happens. We are quite sociable but its usually with our own friends separately or as a couple with other friends as couples. We rarely go out together. I would love to do this, but my wife doesn’t seem keen. She has met a new friend and seems to want to spend time with her, fine by me, but not more than she spends time with me? Apparantly i am wrong whenever i bring up being intimate – its never a good time, she gets angry and defensive, and then when i say i don’t think she loves me, or is happy – she just gets more angry saying to me “its not all about poor you” etc, etc…..she then states i don’t like her going out without me, which i don’t mind, if she wanted to go out and spend time with me. we don’t laugh together, we rarely share the same thoughts, other than the style of house, decor and when it comes to the kids. We are selling our UK home and in process of buying another one overseas. I’m not happy, but i’m made to feel guilty about this. Everyday life continues i’m told, but we don’t have any stresses given we don’t work and are financially comfortable. I don’t know what to do. Its getting me down more and more…..in fact its been getting me down for the last 3 or 4 years, i thought moving overseas and not working would help. Afterall we are in the sun. There is usually an excuse for not having intimacy, no hand holding, no kissing, no sex, always something. She never instigates any of it either. Its seemingly becoming less and less and we are drifting further and further apart doing more and more alone, its worrying me as i love her so much, i fancy her so much, and find her more attractive as she gets older, not that she’s old at 46. If i mention any of this, it seems to fall on deaf ears. Although when we do have sex, i love it, she seems to love it, and we always say we should do this more, but she never does then. Am i wrong for feeling that i’m unloved? Am i wrong for bringing this up? Yet i’m shot down for having something wrong with me.I am becoming resentful more and more. Arguments are daily, ignoring, cursing, and just not bothering with each other is common and its driving me to feel lower and lower. I want it all to change and for us to be happy and share a laugh and love with her, but she won’t let that happen i suspect. Well hasn’t happened for an awful long time.
Tod says
ES. I feel your pain. My whole Fe an I have been married for 35 years. In the last couple of years we’ve had s*x about once per year. She said she needs more romance and I’ve really tried to work on that, and it’s been better. But the she announced she’s just not interested any more. There’s rarely and intimate contact, touch hand holding etc. she spends most of her free time on her hobby (playing pool) but although she says she wants to improve our relationship, just setting aside a hour each week isn’t convenient. I still love her and she says she loves me. I’m certain there’s no one else. But I feel sad and resentful that she doesn’t seem to care about our relationship. She seems content to have a roommate and nothing more.
Mark says
This is my wife!!
I found out she has always been cheating from day 1 of our marriage with lots of different people. I don’t know who she is anymore (has our marriage been fake from the start?) or if she ever actually loved me.
Randall says
I’m lost. I have tried almost everything to keep things solid in my marriage. A bit of history, were 12 years married now and I slept with someone else when we were married fir 2 1/2 years. Moved out, moved back in a month after we splitted. Things been craze the last 7-9 years. I am struggling. Nothing that i ever say or do is good, what i am is, stupid, dumb, idiot, not the name Husband worth, not the name Father worth. I’ve been told these things before my infidelity, and until today I am still being told these things. Its can come up with ideas and ways, nothing seems to be perfect or good enough. I initially came up with the idea that was rejected by my wife, then few months along the way, she comes up to me and tells me that so and so told her what i initially suggested and now she wants us to do it. About a week or two ago, having a normal day to day chore, having a normal conversation, then she just said, I NEVER wanted to marry a man like you, just out of the blue. Everyone’s life is better, smoother, whatever the hell she(wife) names it. 3 Kids, 11,7,3, staying in the one of the worst areas in my city, filled with gangsterism! How do i walk out of a marriage if the odds is sso high against my kids. Aren’t I the only one who can protect them from this evilin the world?
Damian says
Wow… I just… you just literally blew my mind. My brain pieces are all over the wall with how absolutely STUPID your red flags are. She’s in her 30s? She’s got a job?! She’s making money?!!! She had a f*cking kid?!!!!!! Are you f*cking retarded? Sure as shit sounds like it. Wow. Just BLOWN. Congratulations. I am now officially STUPID from reading this trash.
RED FLAG #10 – HER SELF-ESTEEM IS SUFFERING
One of the sad benefits of an affair is a boost in self-esteem for the woman. It’s a thrill for a girl to get an ego boost with an affair, despite what it’s costing her in the long-term.
If your wife has a weak ego, you might need to consider she could be having an affair.
So if her self esteem is actually BOOSTED not SUFFERING she’s having an affair…
Full contradiction!
Just stop.
Yesmeyesme says
Please my wife has been chatting on this apps,with a different guy but anytime I tried to take her phone she ignores me..so I force her and take the phone from her one-day and found out that, the way and manner she chats with me and the guy is different…always when I chat her it takes long time before reply and always fighting and misunderstanding,but she feels comfortable when chatting with that guy …so what I do cause am fraustrated whether she is cheating or not…
Jjjj says
If you arent 100% satisfied leave her. Doesnt matter if you have kids with them, doesnt matter how many years you’ve invested. If she cant put her best foot forward throughout your relationship then it’s over. You dont do that to friends so why would you do it with a life long partner.
Ifeoluwa Lawal says
My wife left home since Feb 2019 and has refused to come home, after pleading with her she still refuses to come, I just discovered now that she is communicating with her ex lover in the US. What can I do now.
Dweebie says
Let. Her. Go. Then recover. Then start again & use every lesson you’ve learned to go right ahead & establish a new, happier life. God bless you.
Ifeoluwa Lawal says
Thanks for the ideas shared here.
Dweebie says
Please forgive my naivety but what in the WORLD does Red Flag #14 even mean?
I have my suspicions but I definitely need this one explaining.
Anybody?
Bradley says
Me and my wife have been together 7 years and have two daughters and we are having problems we can’t get along anymore when I try to talk to her she turns it into a fight she acts crazy everything is my fault she blames me for everything I’m not completely innocent but I want to make it work but she just won’t try their is no sex much anymore it seems like she doesn’t want me or purposely finds ways to get of love making I’m not sure what to do anymore any help suggestions or advise would be appreciated.
HÉCTOR RAFAEL says
Im Maried for 5 years and from one year until now my wife change completely like a different person she don’t let me hold her hands or touch her or kiss her and sex more than 6 months that she don’t have sex with me I asked her if she don’t love me anymore and she say that she love me and I asked her why she’s doing you know all the stuff that she doing now she say that she she always was like that and not know through I told her if she if she wanted to be separate and she say no she went to be like like like we are right now but I can we are friends and I cannot take that because I love her a lot the thing is she’s always in a phone working and when she’s home she don’t even talk to me and I I really don’t know what to do now she told me that she going to spend Christmas MyFlorida she’s going to go with her son 2 are ex-husband family to spend Christmas with with her son and them and first you say that I can go and like 30 minutes later she say no because I going to ruin the party I told her if I don’t go you don’t go and she said that she going to go anyhow she’s going to stay there for 2 weeks and I’m pretty sure the her ex-husband will be there I told her that if I don’t go when she came back I don’t want to be here the thing is that I’m hurt big time and I’m kind of confused if I’m doing the right thing
Al says
Mate, I think she’s cheating, you should get out of this relationship as fast as possible. 9-5 on weekdays? I mean, who has a work schedule like that? Cheaters, that’s who.
Justice says
After 5years of marriage, I discovered my wife change, she started locking her phone with keys,there was a day I forced her to open up the phone lock,she refused, and I went ahead and forced her,she opened it and I saw a chart with one married man name iyk ,I saw my wife write up,she was like asking the man how many girlfriend he had ,the man said none, and she started asking the man what she was doing and the man said that he was eating,she started asking the man,what type of food he was eating, and the man answered and said,not type of food you think,and she was asking the man to tell her the type of food he meant,and the man replied and ask her to come and give him nah, and she relied and said, please I will tell you when am ready please nah,please nah,.immediately she put a voice record and told the man that her husband is driving inside the compound and the stop for that day. So what do you think about that please?
DM says
#14 She wants you to wear a harness? Or a new device? What kind of harness or device?
Stephen says
Wow,
I’m almost in the same boat as you. We’ve always had a pretty good relationship. Together 30 years this year. I felt an incredible wave of gratitude that we lasted that long. My love for her spiked. I started doing little romantic things for her to show her how much I cared… And literally got nothing back in return. I told her I would love to get a little affection back as it was starting to get under my skin. She told me she loved me… although since bringing up the topic she’s actually showing me less affection. I almost feel like she’s trying to physiologically torture me, by showing no affection, so that perhaps I’ll leave. Sex still happens although the rest of the week I feel like I’m in a sterile relationship. I think it might be menopause although I’m truly sad for the loss of the woman I fell in love with.
Joe Sammy says
She did not love me the day we got married. I have no doubt.
Sudoku says
I come to sites like this to try and work out what the hell I’m doing wrong. The only men I attract are either gold-diggers, narcissists or married men that act single, wait until I’ve fallen in love with them, then break my f*cking heart. Single men all seem to want women that lie, treat them like dirt and cheat. Dating/married men who have already financially and legally chained themselves to these women LOVE to tell me how terrible they are treated, how much their wives abuse them, get me to meet the wives (who either ask me to help them cheat or spend the whole time insulting/mocking their ‘walking wallets’). Yet I seem to be a pariah because I want a relationship/marriage based on mutual love, affection, respect and all that stuff that seems to be out of fashion now.
Men just want abusive gold-diggers that look like porn stars and women just want to be parasites and leech off men with money. No one wants an actual partner, yet they want to constantly complain to me how painful and toxic their relationship/marriage is. It’s depressing as hell. I’ve been single for 5 years now. I’m coming up for 35 and feel like I’m in some alien world where I speak a foreign language and I’m the weird one for not enjoying abuse!