Just because you broke up doesn’t mean that you don’t still have feelings for your ex girlfriend. In fact, you may be having all kinds of feelings such as regret, anger, hurt, and anxiety. Your ex girlfriend may be gone, but your emotions towards her and the breakup are still there if you don’t deal with them.
A break up can be very, very painful. It can be hard to get back into the swing of life when your ex is all you can think about – in a good or bad way. Time does heal, but sometimes the emotions are so strong that waiting for time to pass can feel torturous! If you are stuck in a place of doom and gloom, then the following 6 tips can help the healing time speed up and move you towards happiness again.
How To Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend
Take It All In
You are probably focused on the good or bad times of your relationships, but not willing to look at it as a whole. Maybe you don’t want to admit that the relationship was bad, so you are only focusing on the good times. Or maybe you don’t want to admit that the relationship was, in part, good, so you are only focusing on the bad times. It is important to understand that your ex relationship had both good and bad times if you want to move forward.
Take the time to sit down and go through your relationship from start to finish. You will remember things that you haven’t thought about for a long time. You will experience all kinds of feelings. But you will be confronting the relationship that actually happened, instead of the parts that you are choosing to remember, and that will help you move forward to the next steps.
Most importantly, looking at the relationship as a whole will allow you to see that the relationship needed to end, for one reason or another. It will allow you to see the why, how, and when of the break up.
Don’t Contact Your Ex
Some people will tell you that this doesn’t matter, but I think it is extremely important to avoid contact with your ex until your emotions have died down and you are in a healthier state of mind regarding the break up. It will help you avoid doing or saying something that you regret later on, and it will give you the space you need to deal with your feelings.
Let’s face it, when you see your ex, strong emotions can easily come up again.
So, don’t go to places you know she will be at. Don’t stalk her on Facebook or any other social media platform. Allow yourself some time to distance yourself from her and her life.
Distractions Are Important
Distancing yourself will help you avoid confrontational emotions, but you still have your memories, so try to distract yourself as much as possible.
Hang out with family and friends, take up new activities that keep you busy, start a new business venture, work towards your goals, take up reading, or start watching a really good series that you haven’t watched. All of these things will help you focus your mind towards things other than your ex-girlfriend, and you WILL welcome the distractions!
Live In The Moment As Much As Possible
After a break up, it is easy to live in the past or future. You think about past experiences with your ex, and you think about what ‘may be’ in the future, but you don’t focus on the present moment as much because your break up weighs so heavily on your mind (and it is not in the present moment!)
Focus on what is happening to you right now and you will feel more grounded in your life. You want to feel grounded right?
How can you live in the moment? Read this article on how to live in the now.
When It Hurts, Remind Yourself That It Will Pass
Everything passes in life: hurt, anger, regret, and stress all move out of your life eventually and get filled up with other emotions. One of my favorite sayings is, “This too shall pass.” Use it! It will help you realize that the pain you are having right now will not be there forever, and that will provide some relief.
Reflect On The Relationship
Once you have moved passed some of the negative emotions. take some time to reflect on what the relationship and your ex girlfriend taught you. Believe me, there is something there! Every relationship and experience you have in life teaches you something about yourself, what you want, what you don’t want, and where you are going.
If you can find that lesson, then you will be grateful for your ex-girlfriend and the relationship. And, there is no better feelings than gratitude to help you start building a new, exciting life that gives you more to be grateful for.
Breaking up is about loss.
- You lose the relationship with a woman that was supposed to be with you for the long-term.
- You lose the life that you were working towards (that included her in it).
- You sometimes lose possessions in the breakup.
- You may lose pets in the breakup.
- You may even lose the 24-hour relationship you had with the kids if there were kids in the relationship.
You can lose a lot of stuff, so part of getting over your ex girlfriend starts with dealing with that loss.
Understand That Your Relationship Ran Its Intended Course – For Now
If you were still meant to be together, you would be together. Accepting that your relationship with your ex girlfriend ran its destined course is the first step to getting over her, and any loss incurred, and start moving forward.
Figure Out Why You Had The Relationship
Your relationship with your ex girlfriend was a part of your destiny to become better and happier. In other words, the relationship wasn’t a mistake. You were supposed to have the relationship for some reason.
Find the meaning behind the relationship. This may be hard to do at first, but once you sit back and reflect on the relationship, you will be able to easily see what you learned and how it made you a better person.
For instance, did you have the relationship to learn a lesson about trust, respect, or what you really want in a relationship?
Look deep enough and you will find that there is a lesson for you to learn, and that lesson will allow you to see your ex girlfriend as someone who taught you something in life, not as someone who ruined your life or took away precious moments of your life.
Figure Out What Negative Beliefs You Hold Towards Relationships
Do you believe that you are doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again. For instance, do you feel as though you are meant to attract women that use you and then dump you? If you hold those beliefs about yourself, how could you possibly attract any other kind of woman?
There are so many negative beliefs that you may be holding that I couldn’t possibly guess what yours are. When you find them, though, you will instantly see that there is a connection between your beliefs and the relationships you consistently have.
Change The Way You Talk To Yourself
Now, start talking to yourself differently. Tell yourself:
- I value the relationship we had because it taught me many things about myself.
- My ex girlfriend was meant to come into my life and also meant to exit it at the time she did.
- I deserve to have happier relationships in the future, and I will use this information to move forward and do just that!
- I feel good about my past relationship and I am ready to let all negative emotions attached to it go once and for all.
Start using positive affirmations that help you redirect your mind towards the future in an optimistic way.
Do What Feels Right
Start moving forward without fear of being hurt again or another relationship going down the tubes. You now know that your relationships, even the ones that fail, are there for a higher purpose – so nothing is a waste of time.
Go forward and do what feels right. If you find a woman you want to get to know, great! If you run into your ex girlfriend and you decide you want her back, great! If you decide you want to be alone for the rest of your life and only have sex relationships, great! You know what is right for you, and as long as you are becoming a happier and healthier person in life, then your decisions are always right.
