Some women are pushovers. Some women have not fully figured out who they are, where their ethics and values lie, and where they want to go. And some women just like to be the old-fashioned woman who allows her man to make all the decisions for her in life.
But some women are different. Some women know who they are, what they want, and where they are going, and they don’t need a man in their lives. If you meet one of them, you’ve met a strong woman.
Many times older women are strong women. They have had the failures, successes, and insights to learn who they are and what they want. But, not all older women are strong. I know many older women who seem to be more lost than they were when they were young…beat down…tired…pessimistic.
I also know many younger women who are very strong.
I think nowadays, women have more of a chance to explore who they are, decide who they want to be, and be honest with themselves and others on what they want out of life, and that is why more and more confident women are popping up all over the place.
As a woman, all I can say is “Thank god!”
Yet, some men are stuck in the old days thinking that women are supposed to be barefoot in the kitchen. I can’t totally blame them. It’s not that long ago that women were predominantly in that position, so fathers and grandfathers – who have a big role in our lives – would obviously drive that point home in many guy’s heads.
But, the point is that strong women are everywhere, and there will only be more to come. And while all men were suited to be with dependent wives, not all men are suited to be with women who are capable of providing and being on their own.
Are you thinking about dating a strong woman? To be honest – a strong woman may not be for you.
Following are a few scenarios where you are better off finding yourself a woman who is less sure of who she is as an individual, what she is capable of doing for her own happiness and self-worth, and where she is going for her ultimate life.
You Have To Be An Alpha Male In All Areas Of The Relationship
Sometimes being an Alpha male is sexy. Lots of women are attracted to Alpha males, both in and outside of the bedroom. It’s nice to have a man who can take charge if he has to and doesn’t wuss out on decisions and responsibilities- Ok, it’s really hot.
BUT, a strong woman is capable of running her own life and she doesn’t need her man making decisions for her or trying to control her; in fact, she won’t put up with it.
She knows what will make her happy and what she’s capable of doing, so a man telling her what to do, how to do it, and when to do it, is not going to fit into her life plan.
What to expect when dating a strong woman – from Brooke
I consider myself a strong woman, and I have learned a lot about what that means based on my previous relationship. I tried dating a man who wanted to do everything for me and who wanted constant reassurance that he was my one and only.
Here is what I learned:
I am independent. That means I like to do things for myself. I don’t want my significant other to take on my chores and issues. I can make my own doctor’s appointments and I can handle my own family situations without the need for interference. It’s not that I don’t appreciate him always paying or opening doors, but there is a limit to how much I will let him do those things. Like I said, I like doing things for myself. It’s what I’m used to.
I am secure and confident. I don’t need constant lovey-dovey PDA, or for him to fill up his Facebook with his love for me so that everyone knows we are into each other. Honestly, I don’t even really like that. I can easily feel smothered, but I put up with it to a degree to make him happy. I’ve learned that I need a secure man who doesn’t need constant reassurance if the relationship is going to work. I don’t want to come off cold, but I do like my space.
Finally, I’ve learned just how important my freedom really is to me. I like to go and do things on my own with friends and family and take trips without him needing to always be by my side, “protecting” me. I made it 25 years without him protecting me, I think I’ll be alright. A strong woman doesn’t need to feel like a man should be around to protect her at all times, just like a strong woman likes to have her time with friends and family without always having him around.
That is what I’ve learned about dating as a strong woman.
You Are Needy Or Insecure
So, you can’t be an Alpha male in all areas of your relationship, but you should still be a strong, independent man. You need to have your own thoughts, values, opinions and path in life.
From a strong woman’s point of view, a needy and insecure man will need a lot of reassurance, pampering, and help.
From a relationship perspective, one major issue is that they don’t (or can’t?) make decisions on their own. They would rather leave it to their woman to decide than have to decide where to go, what to do, who to see, etc.
For a strong woman whose willing to take the lead when she has to, it gets exhausting to have to always make the decisions in a relationship, and it makes it feel less like a romantic relationship and more like a mother-son relationship.
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Also, a needy or insecure man won’t be able to hold his ground against a strong woman. He will be a pushover and let her take control of the relationship, which will – in most cases, turn a woman off big time! Again, it will be more like a mother-son relationship than an intimate relationship.
David had this to say:
I have two strong-willed daughters, and I know that someday a man will probably be blessed with taking cover from each of them. Yes, he will need a suit of armour. But for now, there are still a few more years before that will be required. The only piece of advice I have is to be prepared to be patient, which means that the guy needs to very strong himself, but in a non-aggressive way.
You Can’t See The Individual In A Relationship
If you are someone who can’t see that you and your woman have individual lives, despite being in a relationship together, then you are not going to mesh well with a strong woman.
The truth is that even if you go together like bread and butter, you will have a few different interests, beliefs, desires, and goals. And, you have to let each other explore your individual lives (we only get one as far as we know!) while maintaining an intimate connection.
That can be hard for some guys (and women – but this article is about finding a strong woman).
Some guys get into a relationship and feel that suddenly everything should be done together and there should be no differences or independence anymore. If that’s you, then don’t bother with a strong woman who is set on her path in life and isn’t going to get off of it just because she’s in a relationship. You will experience a lot of pain and fights if you do.
Remember, you don’t become one just because you are in love. You become two people taking your life journeys both separate and together.
Phil had this to say:
I have dated a strong woman, and the most important aspect of the dating relationship is to treat her as you would want to be treated in her position.
Remember she is a person with a mind. You must acknowledge and respect her opinions, she is totally entitled to hold different opinions to your own.
Not All Guys Can Handle A Strong Woman!
The truth is that some men are not capable of being in a relationship with a strong woman. They don’t like the lack of complete control, or they give up too much power, or they fail to see that she needs her own space in life to do what she needs to do for her own happiness.
If you want to date a strong woman, be a strong man. Be confident in yourself and your relationship. Be honest with her, and be strong enough to let her be honest with you. If you can do that, then dating a strong woman will be one of the most rewarding and game-free relationships of your life.