You may be tempted to be someone cooler, smarter, funnier, sexier, or some other –er around women, but you have to be yourself if you want to earn a woman’s respect, trust, admiration, and – eventually, love.
Joseph Campbell – The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are
Why is being yourself so important? Think of someone you know who always keeps it real, regardless of what other people think. When that person makes a friend, attracts a partner, or does a business deal, they are respected because they are being authentic and they hide nothing behind a charade of what they think other people want to see.
That respect goes a long way towards success with anyone in this world.
- It makes you stand out from the men who are all trying to be a cut out version of what society wants
- It makes you interesting, and women will want to get to know more about you
- It helps you attract the woman of your dreams to you because what women doesn’t want an authentic guy?
- It makes you so well liked that other people will recommend you to single women looking for a great and honest guy
In short, when you are yourself around women, you let them know that you are going to be upfront with them for the long run – and that is something all women want in a man.
How To Be Yourself Starting Right Now
Most of us have spent a long time trying to be someone we are not. It’s time to change that! If you want to start to be yourself around women, use the following 8 tips.
1. Stop Trying To Make Women Happy
It is natural to try to please people. We’ve been doing it our whole life around people we want to like us. Our parents, our teachers, our classmates, our friends, and the rest of the people in our life expect us to act a certain way and, interestingly, they treat us well when we do things to make them happy. But when we act differently, and stand up for your beliefs or morals in a way they don’t like, they can get upset and we can feel uncomfortable. So, to avoid that uncomfortable feeling we do things we know will make them happy instead.
If you are more interested in making a woman happy than being real, you are not being authentic. Yes, it is important to be nice, charming, and understanding, but it is also important to be real. If you don’t agree with something a woman says, then you cannot pretend you do. Or if you don’t like the way a woman is acting, then you cannot pretend you do so that she doesn’t get mad. That’s showing her that you are willing to put up with bad behavior, and she will do it over and over again because you are someone who doesn’t speak up about it.
2. Make Your Opinion Count The Most
What other people think of you can easily determine the direction of your life. But, the most important opinion is really yours! Wouldn’t you rather drive the car down your own path in life? Wouldn’t you rather decide when to turn left, right, or go straight?
Your goal should be to live your best life – the one that makes you happiest. And saying and doing what you want, and being who you want, is important to live your best life.
Remember, other people think about themselves more than they think about you. They may judge you on your decisions, but in the end, they don’t really care what you do or which direction you take. In fact, they may respect your individuality and want to be around you because of it.
3. Get Connected Instead of Validated
Your goal around women should be to connect with them, not have them validate you as a guy worthy of dating. This is why it is important to aim for a connection rather than validation.
The ugly truth is that your egotistical side tends to come out when you are looking for validation. For instance, you may get focused on your looks, hair, clothes, the way you walk or talk, or any other tribute that you present to the world. When that happens, you lose your ability to connect with someone authentically because you are so busy trying to live up to some perfect persona and get validated.
So, always aim to connect with a woman to develop a deeper sense of connection between the two of you. Trust me, women will dig the connection over your egotistical side.
4. Get Present In Your Life
When you are thinking about what women will think about you or anticipating what they want you to do or be like, then you are not being yourself. But, when you are present, you are able to act out of your own instinct and desire, and you get to be yourself.
So, when you are talking to a woman, stay in the moment.
5. Don’t Try To Pretend That Everything Is Great
If things are shitty, then they are shitty! Don’t pretend that they are not the way are.
A woman wants a man who is human, not a superhero, and humans have emotions. Recognize when things are shitty, and don’t pretend there is not a struggle when there clearly is.
This doesn’t mean you have to cry, throw a tantrum, whine, or complain. But don’t pretend that life is great. You are struggling. You are going through complications. You are working through emotions like anger, hurt, etc. Allow women to see those emotions, instead of hiding them, and women will easily see how authentic you are.
As a side note: Remember that everything that happens, good or bad, is something beneficial to your life. Obstacles in life are never as bad as they seem. In fact, they are always lessons that help you become clearer on who you are and where you are going. So, deal with seemingly shitty things, but don’t let them turn you into a shitty person.
6. Don’t Be A Jerk
Some people will act rudely towards others, say everything that is on their mind, and be gross when in public. Then they say, “Well, I am just being myself!”
Being yourself does not mean you can be a jerk or gross. There is a difference.
When you are authentic you are being honest about who you are.
When you are a jerk you are being judgmental and not having compassion for other people or their needs, desires, and wants. Women do not like jerks!
Bottom line: You don’t need to attack women to look authentic. Be real, but be kind and thoughtful as well.
7. Your True Self Is Not Always Going To Be The Same
Even if you are trying to be yourself, you have to tailor yourself a little to the company you are in.
- Around your family, you can be a little more outgoing and silly.
- Around an old person, you should be respectful and patient.
- Around women you just met, you should be considerate, tactful, and kind.
All of those elements (outgoing, respectful, kind, etc.) are a part of you, so this does not involve being someone else.
It simply means that you don’t need to pretend to be someone different around all these people – you just need to understand that in some situations you cannot run around in your underwear or be sarcastic to someone who may not get the sarcasm.
In other words, speak to people the way they need to hear you, but be yourself as you do.
8. Allow Yourself To Evolve
The person you are right now does not have to be the same person you are next year. Just because you were a raging party guy in your younger years who was a jerk to women, doesn’t mean you have to be that guy now.
Some people think they have to maintain a certain image that people know them for – but the truth is that your true self is always changing because your insights, beliefs, and habits are always changing.
So, even if you were not great with women last year, it doesn’t mean that you are not great with women right now.
Note: There may be blocks holding you back from evolving into someone new. If there are, you are probably yearning to be someone else, someone better or more easy going or more outgoing, but you can’t because of certain beliefs or patterns in your life.
Check out Unlimited Abundance , which is all about removing those blocks and allowing you to live your authentic and most abundant life.