Men and women are notoriously on different pages when it comes to communication. It’s like we speak two very different languages. Not surprisingly, it can be hard to tell if the guy you like is feeling you back. If you’ve ever asked yourself, does he like me more than a friend, and couldn’t decipher it one way or another, you can join the ranks of women everywhere. We’ve all been confused from time to time.
The situation can differ whether this guy is someone you’ve been friends with for a long time, but you’ve suddenly realized you may have feelings for him beyond friendship. Or, it could be a guy you’ve been casually texting here and there with a great date or two under your belt. You start wondering if that long gaze he held meant something or whether his sly smile meant he was thinking of possibilities with you.
It’s not always easy or the best idea to come right out and ask someone if they like you. For instance, you don’t want to ask a coworker you work alongside and make things awkward if he’s not into you. But you don’t want to be left in the dark about whether or not he feels the same way too.
It’s tough to have the constant confusion surrounding this situation. So instead of sitting around contemplating the same thought, “Does he like me more than a friend?” on a continuous loop, let’s look at all the signs he might be interested in you.
Before we jump in, it may be useful to clarify what ‘more than just friends’ means.
What Does ‘More Than Just Friends’ Entail?
When it comes to relationships between people, even the definition of friendship can differ widely. Not everyone has the same idea about what it means to be more than friends. If you follow the sequence of relationships, you can get a better view.
Strangers are people you don’t know at all and, chances are you don’t know their names or you’ve never met them before. Acquaintances are people you see or interact with, such as work, including coworkers, or in your personal life, it may be a friend of a friend or another parent from your child’s sports team.
Friends are a step up, these people you know, hopefully, trust, who you have a mutually beneficial or symbiotic relationship with. There’s give and take, support, comradery, the whole nine yards. Some friends are like family, but for most, family presents a step up from friendship.
These people are your flesh and blood so, they may be a step more intertwined into your life than your friends are. Perhaps your family relationships would be taken into consideration when making big decisions, whereas your friendships may not.
Beyond these relationships, you may have crushes, boyfriends, long term committed partners, fiancés, or husbands. In each of these relationships, the next is a step up from the last. When considering what ‘more than just friends’ means – it can mean many things to different people.
Generally speaking, if you feel any spark of romantic feelings for someone, it could constitute feeling something other than friendship for that person. In many friendships, there can be deep feelings – trust, respect, admiration, even love. You could feel that you want to be connected to your best friend for the rest of both your lives and feel no romantic way about them – on the flip side – you could not have developed many of these deeper feelings for a person but know that you want more than friendship with them.
Going forward, we’ll assume that if you’re asking yourself the question, does he like me more than a friend then you’re wondering if there is potential for a romantic relationship to develop. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here are 12 clear signs that the guy you’re into may like you back.
Signs He’s Interested in More Than Friendship with You
People come in such a wide variety of expression that it can be hard to discern someone’s true intentions or feelings towards you. You could go out on a great first date – there’s laughter, good conversation, he’s smiling, he seems interested in what you have to say and vibes well with you. He may even say he wants to see you again. But, when you tell him you like him, and you’re interested in pursuing him, he could say he had a lot of fun with you, but he’s not looking for a relationship.
While that may feel shocking because all the signs were seemingly there – it’s not that uncommon. People can be tough to read. Try not to jump to any conclusions. Read through our guide to see if any of his behaviors can clue you in on his interest in you.
He Watches the Way He Carries Himself Around You
If your guy is always on his best behavior around you, it’s a possible clue that he cares what you think about it. You could argue that some people are very polite and have impeccable manners all the time, but there could be signs that he goes out of his way to impress you.
If he likes you, he may want to show you that he’s worth your time, by being charming and generous. He could be pulling out your chair, choosing his words wisely so as not to offend you, get the door for you, and show you how well he treats others like the wait staff at restaurants.
There’s no harm in checking to see if he’s interested in you with clues like that.
He Remembers Little Details
When a guy is interested in a woman, he pays attention to the little details. On the flip side, just because he doesn’t remember the small things doesn’t mean he’s not interested. Some guys are just better at remembering things than others.
However, if he’s surprised you with dinner at a restaurant you’ve casually mentioned before, he likely took the time to listen to things you’re saying and use them to make you happy. He may also have surprised you with your favorite flowers that he saw you glancing at when you were out before or picked up a seemingly small gift that he thought would mean a lot to you.
These are signs he’s listening to you, being reflective, and trying to make you feel special. Small gestures can go a long way in building trust and intimacy, which is precisely what he could be trying to do with these small acts of chivalry.
You Notice Little Things Too
Have you mentioned a book you thought he should read, or given him a small trinket that you thought he would like, and later saw it over at his place? We’re not talking about finding the swiss army knife you gave him thrown in the back of his junk drawer, but perhaps the knife or some good luck token you gifted him is displayed on a shelf in plain sight, or the book you mentioned is on his nightstand.
Just like we mentioned above, these little things tend to hold a lot of meaning. If he took the time to purchase that book or set what you gave him on the shelf somewhere, he would see it daily; it likely meant something important to him.
If you want to see where he’s at with something like this, you could drop a comment like, “I noticed the engraved lighter I got you over on the shelf when I was walking by, I’m glad you like it!” Gauge his reaction when you tell him so that you get a better idea of where you two stand.
He Gives You Adequate Attention
Both men and women can be found guilty of not wanting to share their time with people they don’t particularly care about. For example, once you count out work, household chores, and spending time with family and friends, there’s not always too much left over for free time.
If a guy has stuff going on but consistently sets time aside for you, it’s a good sign that you’re at least somewhat important to him. You want to pay attention to whether or not he makes plans in advance with you. It’s not quite the same if he’s texting you after dinner time on a Friday night to see what you’re up to.
Being the last thought or a fill-in for some unexpected free-time doesn’t quite hold the same weight as advanced plans do. If he’s asking you what your schedule looks like next week so you two can pick a time or two that works for you both, he cares about your time as well as his and wants to make sure you don’t go too long between seeing each other again.
He Stares at You (In A Non-Creepy Way)
With all the distractions continuously going on around us – people talking, phones, the football game playing at the restaurant, it can be hard to hold someone’s attention and gaze for an entire date. When a guy is interested in you, he may be watching you from across the room, and he won’t attempt to hide it.
If you’re out together and he’s giving you his full attention, steady eye-contact, and staying focused with you throughout your time together, there could be two things at play here. Number one, we mentioned earlier – he’s trying to impress you and show you that he’s worth your time. And Number two, he wants to make it known to you that everything else falls by the wayside while he’s with you, you’re his number one priority.
He Tries to Make You Laugh or Smile
Once a guy hears you laugh or sees you smile and has feelings about it, he’ll keep trying to get you to do it again. When a man can get you to laugh and smile, it makes him feel good too. It gives him a sense of pride to know that he’s the one to bring you smiles and laughter.
Pay attention to your guy and take notice when he goes out of his way to be funny and bring brightness to your day. It’s an excellent way to tell if he’s into you on more than a friend basis.
He Shows His Interest With Physical Touch
Physical touch evokes a secure connection between people. That’s why when one person is comforting another, they usually touch the person’s hand, arm, or even their knee when they’re letting that person know they’re there for them. That’s because touch can be a non-verbal way of communication.
If he’s going out of his way to hold your hand over the table at dinner, reach over and tuck your hair behind your ear, or give your back a quick rub while sitting next to you, then he’s using non-verbal cues to let you know he’s into you.
He’s Mirroring Your Behavior
Imitation and mirroring are along the same lines, but they’re two distinct characters that we’re talking about. Imitation is when someone likes you, and they begin to watch the same show as you, pick up similar mannerisms as yours. This often happens between siblings, best friends, or groups of coworkers.
It can happen between you and the guy you like too. Maybe you’ve never cared for football, but your guy is a die-hard Patriots fan, so you get a jersey and cheer on his team when you watch football together. He could be doing similar things that imitate you as well.
He may also be mirroring your body language as a sign that he has more interest in you beyond friendship. Doing so creates a bond; it creates strong feelings. Two common examples are smiling and yawning. That’s why people say that yawning and laughter are contagious. It’s hard not to do the same when others are doing it.
If your guy is mirroring your body language, then it’s a good sign he’s in tune with you and may have some feelings for you.
He Brings Up the Long Term
Whether consciously or subconsciously, when a guy is interested, he may drop hints about a future with you. It could be a small comment in passing, or it could be outright planning. A guy who’s interested in you will go out of his way to make plans with you.
He may mention that he’s thinking about getting a dog and ask you what breed you’re interested in, or he could be trying to make plans with you for upcoming holidays. Whatever the case may be, if he includes you in his future plans, there’s a high chance it’s because he wants you to be around for them.
He Tries to Make You Feel Safe Around Him
Men are natural protectors; they want to keep the people they care about most safe. They also wish for the ones they care for to know they are there to protect them, so they’ll do their best to make you feel secure around them.
If you notice a guy doing little things with your safety in mind, he may be interested in more than friendship with you. For example, if you’re hanging at your place and you go to take the trash out late at night, he may offer to take it for you while saying something like, “You shouldn’t be out there after dark.” He could also say simple things like, “Come lock the door,” as he’s leaving.
He Doesn’t Talk to You the Same As Everyone Else
There’s a good chance you’re not the only woman in your man’s life. He may have other women friends, work colleagues, or acquaintances. Pay close attention to the way he interacts with other women and even his guy friends.
You can often tell things about a man by the way he acts rather than things he says directly to you. If you notice that he’s more reserved or professional in conversation with others, while he’s flirtier with you, that’s a great sign!
If this guy is treating you differently than the way he treats other people, is just a little warmer to you, telling more jokes, or smiling at you more, it’s a big sign he’s got feelings for you.
He Makes Time to Contact You
It’s undeniable when someone doesn’t make time to shoot you a quick text or give you a short call when they’re too busy to text you can always tell. You can feel the difference when you are not a high priority to someone. They’ll send you last minute or after-thought texts, wait till the final second to scrounge up plans with you, or otherwise make you feel like you don’t hold a high place in their lives.
If the opposite is true, you can feel that too. If the guy you’re interested in gives you a call while he’s driving to work because you sent a text and he wanted to answer you or tell you to have a nice day, that’s a positive sign he’s interested in you.
Perhaps he calls you for no other reason than to see how you’re doing, wish you good luck on an upcoming meeting, or to tell you to have fun on your night out with the girls. He’s showing you through his actions that he cares for you and wants you to know that you’re on his mind.
Are There Signs That He’s Not That into Me?
Some guys are just nice to everyone, and they have a calm, relaxed demeanor. They’re polite everywhere they go, love to make people laugh, are great at communication, and maybe you see a lot of the signs from above, but you’re still not sure if he’s into you.
Here are a couple of actions to look out for when a guy is just using you or keeping you around with no real purpose. If this is the case, cut your losses and move on because it’s not worth it, in the long run, to keep hanging around when he’s not interested.
- You see no pattern of connection – If he’s appearing and disappearing without making it a point to see you consistently, it’s time to walk away.
- You don’t go “out” out – Have a guy who invites you to his place or comes to yours often but never offers to make plans for going out to events, dinner, the movies, or even a walk? He’s probably not planning a future with you.
- You’ve never met his friends – If you’ve been seeing a guy for a while and he’s never let you meet his friends, coworkers, or anyone important to him, there could be a reason he’s hiding you or not making you known to anyone else.
- There’s no affection – If you stop the to think about it and realize that he doesn’t show you any affection when you’re around – believe his actions because they speak louder than words.
- He doesn’t consider your feelings – So you planned a big night, and he cancels at the last minute. Someone who cares about you may be profusely apologetic and have a good reason for canceling. If a guy cancels your plans and doesn’t give you a reason, isn’t remorseful, or worse, has a lame excuse, he’s not the one for you.
Key Things to Remember
People say a lot of things, so don’t take whatever he says at face value. Go back through this guide and remember all of the small details. Listen to the way he talks to you, pay attention to subtle cues, and, most importantly, let his actions speak for themselves.
Deciphering whether or not a guy is into you shouldn’t be a jigsaw puzzle. Some guys can be shy and reserved. Pay close attention; you’ll be able to pick up on hints that more than friendship may be blooming. If all else fails, you can drop hints or find a way to ask him in a non-pressured way if he feels the same way you do.