Did the first date not go well? Did you screw it up big time – or are you worried that you screwed it up? Dating is hard, and when you screw up on your first date…the date where first impressions are made, it can be hard to recover. But, you CAN recover and get another shot with a woman.
Disclaimer: Not all screw-ups are fixable. If you did something really stupid, then you may not be able to recover from that. For instance, if you ran into your ex girlfriend and kissed her in front of your date, you are probably not going to get another shot. Or if you were extremely rude to everyone you met on the first date, then a sensitive woman will probably not give you another shot no matter what you say or do to excuse the behavior.
Common First Date Screw-ups That You Can Possibly Fix
Following are a few common examples of first date screw-ups, and how you can fix those screw-ups.
1. Talking About Yourself The Whole Date
On a first date it is important to show interest in the woman you are with. But, if you get really nervous, the chances of rambling on about yourself is something that could happen. Moreover, if you are rambling on about yourself, you may miss the cues that she is getting bored or annoyed with you until it is too late.
If you got nervous, and talked about useless stuff on your date, then you can probably fix it by telling her that you were nervous and asking her for another chance to get to know her. She will most likely understand.
But, if you leaked out too much information about yourself that had her cringing and questioning you, then you may have lost her forever. By rambling you may have tried to talk yourself up, and instead came across as an egotistic jerk.
Or, you may have talked about stuff that made you look absolutely crazy. For instance, talking about your family is okay, but if you talk about how your Uncle Ned often cooks roadkill for you, then she may not want to get involved in that kind of lifestyle.
All you can do is call her and explain that you are not as crazy as you made yourself sound, apologize, and then let her know that you would like another chance. The ball is in her court at this point, and if you don’t get a call back, don’t push the issue much further because you will just scare her more.
2. You Lied
Did you try to make yourself look like a superstar?
Did you get caught?
If you did, then you may have lost her trust. After all, if you are lying on the first date, what will you be like in a relationship?
Building trust is very important when trying to build a new relationship with someone, so depending on the lie, you may ruin your chances forever with a woman. This is especially true if she has been lied to by ex boyfriends and doesn’t want to get into a relationship like that again.
On the other hand, because it was the first date and she did not have a lot of stock invested in you, she may be willing to look past the lie and start fresh.
The only way that you can fix this is by sending her an apology. Admit that you screwed up. Don’t try to explain yourself too much because you may just dig yourself into a hole. Just let her know that you are usually a very honest guy and you would like to prove that to her.
3. You Were Not Present During The Date
Sometimes bad things happen before a first date. You can get bad news, get sick, or have a shitty day. When that happens, you may not be fully present on the date, and you may send off the message that you are bored or not interested in her.
This is an easy fix. She doesn’t want to feel like you didn’t care about her, so if you call her and let her know that you had been dealing with some stuff and that is why you were acting weird on the first date, she should be relieved that it was not about her and give you another chance. Just be honest with her.
4. You Stood Her Up
Whether you forgot about the date or you got busy doing something else and could not get out of it, standing a woman up on the first date is a huge blow to her ego and could cost you a second date.
Think about it. She probably took hours to get ready, spent days thinking about the first date, talked about it to all of her friends, and basically hyped herself up for it – only to be let down. The let down will be huge and she may not want to risk that hurt again.
This is the time to be totally honest and make her feel as though it was totally your fault, not hers. She needs to know that you feel very bad for standing her up and that you want to make it up to her.
If you act like it was no big deal and that she should just get over it, say good-bye to another date. Or, at the very least, say good-bye to her full trust and interest in you. Your first date after standing her up may be very awkward and full of distrust if you make the screw-up more about her than about yourself.
Do you have any first date screw-up stories? Please share in the comments. I want to hear about them.
