When you like a woman, her friends are going to be upfront and honest with you, right? They are an extension of her, so they are always going to ‘give it to your straight’ because they have no feelings invested in you and don’t care whether they hurt you or not, right? Not always!
Sometimes Her Friends Are Jealous Of Her
I have lived through this one. My husband and I met through my best friend.
Because we talked to her about each other, we assumed that she would give us information to help us decide whether or not we would be good together. Instead, she made it sound like I didn’t like him to him and he didn’t like me to me, and because of that we didn’t date until two YEARS later.
She was jealous of me and him hooking up, so she said everything she could to keep us apart. We didn’t know this until we started talking to each other about our feelings. Once we started dating, it became apparent that she was not happy we were together and she even went so far as to hit on my man once we started dating.
My point is that you cannot know how she feels about you until you approach her and talk to her yourself. Never believe what you hear about anything, including how a woman feels about you, unless you get it straight from their mouth.
It doesn’t matter what her friend says.
If she says that you don’t have a chance in hell, you should still give it a shot.
If she says that her friend is a lesbian, you should still test the waters for yourself.
If you don’t, you will never know for sure.
Use Caution When Her Friends Suggest She Doesn’t Like You
Not all of her friends will be jealous. Some will be open and honest with you about how she really feels because they don’t want to see you get hurt or they don’t want you to keeping bothering her (if you are bothering her).
So, if her friend tells you that you don’t have a chance with her, keep that in mind and approach her carefully.
In other words, don’t put yourself totally out there to be hurt if you have been forewarned that she is not into you.
Approach her casually, talk to her, read her body language, and decide for yourself what message she is sending. If she knows that you are into her, then she will let you know how she really feels about you through her interactions with you.
Don’t Hold On Too Long If You Get Negative Signals
If her friend said you don’t have a chance with her, and she is sending you negative messages with her body language and words, then let it go. She probably doesn’t like you and if you keep trying you are wasting your time.
At least you gave it a try. If you hadn’t tried you would never know the truth. The regret of not trying will be far more painful that being rejected for a brief period of time.
James says
This happened to me many years ago when I was a very shy, socially anxious undergrad. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen lived in the women’s residence across the street from where I lived. I never talked to her because (I found out later) her friends knew she had a huge crush on me too, and when I asked a couple of them about her they told me she wasn’t interested in me. In retrospect, I probably should have walked up to her and asked her out – but I assumed her friends were telling the truth – and I was also too shy and anxious to consider it then. Live and learn!