If your girlfriend is still talking to her ex that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Ex’s are ex’s for a reason right?
However, if our girlfriend is still talking to her ex-boyfriend that is most likely going to brew up some trouble.
We are going to look at…
*Signs your girlfriend isn’t over her ex.
*What to do when your girl is still communicating with her ex.
This will give you the expert information you need to make sure you act sooner than later and avoid getting your heart broken. Nobody likes to go through that.
Let’s get started…
Signals Your Girlfriend Really Isn’t Over Her Ex
All Women’s Talk has some excellent indicators your girlfriend is still feeling something viable toward her ex.
Maybe she just never got closure?
Perhaps she wishes she never broke it off?
Usually there aren’t clear-cut indicators your girlfriend has feelings for another guy. But it’s important to be wary of a few common factors just so you don’t wind up in a sticky situation.
Her mind just doesn’t seem to be focused
If a girl is still feeling something for her ex, chances are she’s pretty confused, perhaps even distant with you because her focus is not on you.
When you ask her what’s wrong, chances are pretty good she’s not going to be straight up with you. In fact, she may even be confused herself about what she is thinking and feeling.
There is so much truth to the saying, “You never know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”
If she happens to run into her ex, she might act and look very uncomfortable, in a weird way
If it looks like your girl is juggling “excited to see him” and “jumpiness,” she might still have feelings for her ex.
When he leaves, she might keep on talking about him. Or perhaps ramble on about things they did together. And if you catch her smiling to herself, you are going to have to sit down with her and have a serious talk.
She’s hanging onto past memories
If your girl is talking about all the amazing things she misses about being with her ex, on a regular basis, she’s just not over him yet.
If she talks lovingly about him or acts like he is still her best friend, you best be careful.
The comparison game
Sometimes, this is done unconsciously, where she really doesn’t know she is doing it. Other times, she means to hurt you and when that’s the case, you know she isn’t ready to give you all of her.
Girls pull this all the time. If they are pissed with their current boyfriend, they will pull the “old boyfriend” card. So lame but true.
What this is telling you is that she still isn’t over him, no matter what she says, and you need to accept this and deal with it.
Newsflash…If she was over her old beau, she sure as heck wouldn’t be hurting you this way.
Think about it for a minute.
She keeps contacting him
If any relationship is truly over, both people usually just stay away from each other. Truth be told, it’s very odd for couples to remain best friends, according to The Modern Man.
Regardless, if your girlfriend is texting or calling her old boyfriend, you need to pay attention and have your alert on.
If she still loves him, no matter how much this hurts, she won’t be able to stay away from him. Of course, that’s totally not fair to you.
The small things are remembered
When a girl is remembering the small things from a past relationship, that’s a fairly strong signal she isn’t ready to move on with you. This means she hasn’t been able to erase the past from her mind and it’s still her focus right now.
If she is remembering the small things, that other guy is in her brain and that’s not good news for you.
For instance, if she is humming old songs or talking about the favorite restaurants she used to go to, her heart just isn’t yours.
She doesn’t like that her ex has a new girlfriend
Why should a girl care about what her ex is doing, unless of course she still has feelings for him? Pay attention because if she gets all negative when she hears her ex is seeing someone else, that’s an indication she isn’t over him just yet.
All you need to do here is observe. If your girlfriend seems to care at all when the conversation comes up about her ex and another girl, then you need to please tread carefully.
Perhaps you are that dreaded rebound man?
Girls have a tendency to get sneaky from time to time and your girlfriend just might be using you to try and make her old boyfriend jealous.
Be careful here because you don’t deserve to be the rebound guy no matter how many years you have lusted over her.
She seems crazy happy to chat about him
If she is always talking about her ex, whether with her friends or just you, that’s not a good sign. Simply put, if she is always wondering about where he is and what he’s up to, that’s just trouble.
Time for you to think about what you truly want, need and deserve.
Your girl is trying to meet him
Perhaps, she might tell you it was an accident but she might very well have planned to bump into her ex. Maybe she knows where he tends to eat and hangout and happens to show up there frequently.
Keep your mind open here but play it smart.
She wants to be his shoulder to cry on
If your girlfriend feels she is obligated to be there for her ex-boyfriend, that’s seriously not a good sign. If suddenly your girl wants to be friends with her ex because he has nobody else, you need to keep your guard up.
If she’s telling you he’s such a nice guy and there’s no reason you can’t be friends, you might want to think about your relationship with her and seriously lay the cards on the table.
Ask yourself if you really think her love for you is the real deal?
Sure, she might tell you she loves you but is she really showing you that? Because if she is talking about her ex, that’s really not showing you she cares about your feelings.
Don’t let her use you just because she is afraid of being alone. If she is showing you with numerous signals she wants to get back with her ex, you’ve got to cut her loose.
The ex-boy toy is trying to get in contact with your girlfriend
This is definitely a disrespectful no-no.
If your girl is letting her ex contact her via text, email, or worse yet a phone call, then she’s barking up the wrong tree. That couldn’t be more wrong.
She might try and pretend she has nothing to do with this and she just doesn’t want to hurt him more. But you’ve got to pull your socks up and not take it.
What about your heart?
Seems like she is suddenly extremely moody
This is where she might seem distant and moody after she sees or hears from him. She might also prefer to be alone and happy with the thoughts in her head. The final straw is demanding some space for you so she can figure herself out.
That is the reddest flag there is.
You can have patience and understanding but you need to know where to draw the line.
What you need to do is have an open and honest conversation with her. Tell her what you are thinking and feeling and see what she has to say before you jump to any conclusions.
Here’s What You Should Do If Your Girlfriend Is Still Talking To Her Ex
Being honest and jealous-free is a fantastic thing. But rarely does it ring true.
The issue is, if any ex-dude is in the picture, you’ve got problems.
Truth – You never ever completely fall out of love.
So true.
Many people get comfortable with their relationship and when it’s over they want that security, right or wrong, too afraid to let go and try again.
Another issues is that we tend to look at our past a little more positively than it might be, likely because when you distance yourself from the negative, it naturally seems more positive.
Remembering more of the good than the bad doesn’t help when a girl is trying to move on. Just makes it ultra difficult.
Time To Set The Precedent
You need to show this girl that you are the hunkiest, toughest, hardest or most-sexy crazy guy ever. If you do then she is going to want you because you are “better” than her ex-boyfriend.
If you don’t show her this right in her face, then you really don’t have a chance. You’ll be the one sitting on the fence.
Drama and emotions aren’t always fun but the more a woman goes through it with you, the better. This means she is vesting herself in you and more likely to stick around.
If she’s had years of ups and downs with her ex, that is not good news for you because it means she obviously found meaning in that relationship and that’s tough for anyone to throw away.
So if your girlfriend talks about fighting crazy with her ex and oodles of drama, you need your “spider” senses on red alert. It means she has deep REAL emotions for this man and might very well still have them.
Truth…
*If a woman doesn’t feel a man is worth it, she will leave him at the first sign of drama.
*On the flip-side, if she stays with him, her brain has reasoned he’s worth the effort to push through the drama crap.
Logic and emotion do not physiologically mix. So if a girl is emotional about a guy, she might not make any sense.
So how do you stop it if your girl is still stuck on her ex?
First off, woman have friends for social reasons, security, convenience, and ones that might be potential partners.
If an ex is still in the picture he gives her these 3 needs…
1-He is the key to security
2-She is intimately connected and that’s a natural human intrinsic need
3-This guy is a potential mate because he has already been her boyfriend or boy-toy
Here’s what it means if her ex is still in the picture, on the outside looking in.
Seriously, Why Is Your Girl Keeping Her Ex In The Picture?
Well, it’s definitely not because she can’t find other friends. Trust me on this one. She has specific reasons and you need to pay attention to each one.
1-Simply put, she doesn’t want to move forward without him. This could be because she knows he is committed and invested in her and he’s security if all else fails. In other words, if she doesn’t find someone better, he will take her back with open arms.
2-Your girl really isn’t looking to replace her ex just yet, or ever. This could be a tough pill to swallow. Think about this for a minute. If a girl is really ready to give up a guy, she’s not letting him back in the door in any shape or form, right?
She’ll drop him like a load of rocks and move on “without” him.
It’s all about choice. She can be hung up on the past or open to moving forward with new. Perhaps you might need to call her out on this one just to get it done pronto.
3-It’s obvious no guy is as “everything” as her ex. This one is just plain scary. It’s not fair for your current girl to compare you to her ex, not one bit. If you feel like you are always center stage and being sized up to her “fabulous” ex-boyfriend, you obviously got some serious thinking to do.
That’s just not fair no matter how you slice it.
Newsflash – The reason she is keeping her ex in view is because she seriously believes one day they will be reunited – Period.
Think About How Her Ex Influences You
Here are a few routes your girlfriends ex influences, by being still in the picture, according to experts at Global News…
1-Shortened time-frame for hopping into the sac. You need to sleep with her faster than he did. So if she slept with him after date 3, you better make it happen by date 2.
The faster, the better here if you are serious about getting into the heart of this girl.
2-Be wary because your window to impress has shrunk – You have less time to impress by default. Your girl doesn’t feel she needs another man because her ex is still around. This means you need to captivate her fast and furiously.
Make her totally forget about her ex and you’ve got a shot. Balls in your court now.
3-You need to raise the stakes. You know there’s a guy in her life she already has hook, line and sinker, her ex. This means you are being compared and you either rise to the challenge or slink away with your tail between your legs.
Think about it for a minute and take action.
4-Your girl isn’t really committing fully to the union. Doesn’t matter how you want to slice it. If your girl is still connecting in any shape or form with her ex-boyfriend, then she is not really committing to you, as much as that might hurt.
Having a girl with just one foot in the relationship is not a good thing. Her simple actions will show you straight up she is really not as “into” you as she should be.
Half-hearted is not what you deserve. Take action and believe in that.
5-She shows you straight up she is hard to control, within the boundaries of a relationship. If one person is calling the shots it’s just not going to work. And when a girl knows she has a fallback guy she’s going to use this confidence to tell you how things are going to work.
Rather that figure it out between the two of you, it’s going to be her way or the highway. Eek!
6-Infidelity is definitely on the docket. Sure, you can take every precaution in the world to prevent a girl from cheating on you but ultimately you really have no control.
You control you and nobody else.
And if your girl has an ex on the side, the chances of her falling back into his bed in time is of serious consideration.
Ex-boy-toys are trouble and they introduce a threat no guy should have to face. Just think long and hard about this one please.
So How Should You Deal With Gals That Are Connected With Exes?
The answer is not to go beat the living crap out of the guy. You shouldn’t get defensive and tell him to stay the beep away from your girl.
FACT – You can’t control his actions or the actions of the girl.
Yes, you can influence your girl but ultimately you can’t make her decisions. She has to do that all by herself.
Here are a few pointers to protect yourself when your girl is close with her ex.
1-If you are going to fall head over heals for her, just don’t please. If you know how to have fun with a girl without getting your heart squashed, then go for it. On the other hand, if you are going to seriously fall for this girl, you need to not open that door.
Bottom line…Most girls that are still in connection with their ex, are going to eventually break your heart.
2-If you decide to bite the bullet and get involved with her, you need to be okay with her ditching you at any moment and moving on. It’s fair to say that if your girl is hanging out with her ex, eventually she’s going to ditch you and hook back up with him.
If you can accept this, if you are okay with this, then by all means fast forward past go and collect the 200 bucks if you wish.
Nice guy or not, you will finish last here.
3-Let’s assume you are already extremely into her – Be understanding that she is really not yours and you will have to let her go and not chase her.
Sure, you can always hope that in time she will totally cut her ex off and hook up with you 100%, but that doesn’t mean that will happen.
Back off on your effort, disconnect as much as you can, and if she comes running to you with open arms, you’ve got a chance.
Final Words
Most of the time, there is nothing good about your girlfriend talking to her ex.
What you need to do is step back for a minute and think about how much you really feel for her. Understand that if she is still feeling for her ex, you will never have all of her, as much as that hurts.
You need to take action and take care of you.
*Listen to what she says.
*Look at what she says with her body cues.
Put two and two together.
You deserve to have a girl that loves you for you. Understand that and accept that, and make the decision you need to make for YOU.
Bottom line…you deserve!
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