Do you want to break up with your girlfriend? Are you scared that you are going to break her heart when you do? If you do and are, then you are likely a nice guy, but you just don’t see the relationship going in a direction you want anymore.
The Bad News
Here’s the thing: You can’t really avoid breaking her heart if she is in love with you and thinks that you are going to be together for a long time to come.
Her mindset is not in the same place as you.
She’s had no time to consider that the two of you were never going to be together again.
So, of course breaking up with her is going to cause her to feel confusion, anger, sadness, and pain.
The Better News
Breaking up with her is good for both of you.
Don’t avoid doing it simply because you will both be uncomfortable. The effort you have to put in towards the break up will be worth it when you both get into new relationships that satisfy you both more.
When you break up from a relationship that is lacking something, you get to be free of the relationship and find someone else who makes you happier or more fulfilled. And she gets to do the same.
2 Things To Remember When You Break Up With Her
So there is no avoiding the pain, but you can ease the pain a little. Use the following 2 tips to make the break up as easy as possible.
1. Do It In Person
No break up text.
No break up Facebook message.
You have to do it in person!
It is hard to confront her with bad news – I get it, but breaking up in person allows her to get her emotions out, ask you questions, and leave the confrontation feeling better than she would if you did it over text or message.
Remember, you have known the break up was coming – she hasn’t. You have to understand that she will probably be upset, confused, and sad.
You can’t expect her to say, “Okay, bye-bye then!” That’s unreasonable (unless she was also planning on breaking up with you.)
So, let her ask as many questions as she wants, and answer them for her. She will have a much easier time moving on when she has answers to her questions. The break up will go quicker and smoother, and you will both benefit from your courage to confront her.
2. Be Honest
Be totally honest about how you feel. If you don’t want to have a relationship with her ever again, and you leave room for doubt, then she may go home and think about ways to win you back. That will prolong her suffering and yours as well.
So don’t say things like:
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- I think it’s best
- Let’s take a break
- Who knows what the future will hold
Instead say things like:
- It is best
- We need to break up
- We are not meant for each other
Moreover, if you are not honest about how you feel, she will sense that dishonest. Then, she may start to make up her own reasons that you are breaking up with her. For example, if you tell her, “I think it’s what I want to do,” instead of, “I decided a while ago that we were not meant to be together,” then the word ‘think’ may make her wonder if you have found someone else and just want to put the relationship on hold to test out the waters. If she thinks that, her self-confidence and body image could go down, and she can suffer from a whole host of negative thoughts and actions from there. That’s the opposite of what you are trying to do, which is why honesty is so important.
So that’s it. You can’t avoid breaking your girlfriend’s heart during a break up, but you can break up in the most compassionate way possible. It is definitely the hard way, but it makes you more of a decent human being – so there is that!