Are you looking for love? If you are, I want you to think about something. How do you picture your route to love?
Do you picture taking the quickest possible route – even if it is full of pain, worry, self-hatred, and other negative emotions? Even if it leaves you feeling unfilled?
Or, do you picture taking the happiest possible route to love? Do you want to admire the path and scenery, and enjoy every second getting there?
The Happy Map Idea
The idea to move to love through a happy route came to me from the TED talk by Daniele Quercia on happy maps. You can watch this short talk in the following video. Essentially, he talks about creating destination maps that have a happier route to your final destination, which usually only result in a few minutes difference, but a much better experience.
The Pressure To Take A Certain Route In A Certain Amount Of Time
There is a lot of pressure to find the shortest distance to love. In fact, many people are willing to give you directions: find a woman who is similar to you and marry her. They will tell you that it is just supposed to be that way and then try to make you feel bad when you try to take another route.
Many people also want to tell you exactly how long it should take. My friend, whose religion and parents pressured him to get married young, thought that he was supposed to get married and have children by the age of 19. The fear that came from not doing that is what caused him to marry someone he didn’t really love and have three children that he couldn’t devote his full loving attention towards.
Not exactly the happiest route, and not exactly the happiest outcome after he reached his desired destination.
The Problem With The Shortest Distance To Love
Statistically, we know that the chances of finding the best match for us right away are not good. In fact, we know that it usually takes a few love interests to find the perfect mate for us.
Therefore, when we try to find the shortest distance to love, we are willing to accept people into our lives that aren’t really that good for us. If