Do you constantly think that someone is out to get you? Do you think women are conspiring to make your life a living hell? Do you think that people do things just to piss you off and make your life miserable? If you do, then you are assuming the worst in others, and it is a dangerous game to play for your happiness in life and in relationships.
Assuming The Worst Perpetuates Unhappiness
“The worst mistake .. made throughout history by individuals on both sides of every new encounter, has been .. making #assumptions” D Brin
— Chelsham (@ChelshamConsult) July 21, 2015
When you assume the worst in people, you create a continuous circle of misery. You are suspicious of everyone’s motive behind what they do, and you believe that people are out to get you and make your life unhappy. (Of course, just the thought of that makes you unhappy!)
In reality, you are making yourself unhappy by labeling events and circumstances as negative.
Moreover, assuming the worst when it comes to other’s intentions, opens the door to conflict. You can never expect to have satisfying relationships or a sense of peace when you always feel like others are not treating you well. It’s impossible!
Circumstance Versus Character
There is a very simple way to stop assuming the worst in others. It involves gaining a new perspective on how you view people who make you upset.
All you need to do is see their circumstance over their character.
For instance, when a woman ignores you, do you assume that she is a bitch? There is a possibility that she is. But, the chances are good that you instantly attack her character over an incident and assume the worst, labeling her a bitch without a lot of backstory.
Now think of this…If you ignore someone, is it because you are an asshole? There is a possibility of that. But, the chances are better that you are just having a bad day, reacting poorly to something else, or maybe – you are being misread by that person and you are just deep in thought and didn’t notice them the way they felt they should be noticed.
In other words, when someone else does something you don’t like, you assume it is their character and that they are being the jerk that they always are. But when YOU do something that someone else doesn’t like, you know that it is usually the circumstance, and you are not a bad person with evil intent to make other people’s lives miserable.
When you understand that, and flip it around knowing that other people (including women) are likely reacting from circumstances rather than their character, you will see less of the worst in other people.
Those judgments that you make based on (what you think is) their character, creates false realities about them, and will cause you to see the worst. But when you admit that some bad shit has probably happened to them, then you can see more of the positive in them.
In the end, one of the biggest happiness hacks out there is to stop assuming the worst in others. Letting go of assumptions helps you feel better about all of your interactions and relationships in life. It also helps you stop living in a negative state where others are the enemy and you are being attacked. Lastly, it helps you see the world in a much more positive light!