For a relationship to work well, you’ll need to be a good boyfriend. You not only need to fall in love with the right person, but you also must keep your love fiery through the years to come. The first way to do that is to love yourself and your girlfriend with kindness. Then, there are relationship tips like this to help you live your best life.
Every relationship is as unique as the two people in them. What works in one relationship doesn’t always work in another, so use these tips as they pertain to yours. Our tips on how to be a good boyfriend are not one-size-fits-all. Figure out what works for you and don’t be afraid to try something new in the future to keep the relationship alive.
Be Patient
The first and most crucial thing to know about how to be a good boyfriend is patience. You need to have the patience to learn new things and teach your partner new things too.
Encourage Her
If there are things she enjoys and goals she wants to accomplish (and we hope she does), encourage her to go for it. Sometimes people feel scared and need to talk out big decisions. Other times, we don’t even realize what may be best for us is right in front of our faces. Figure out what hobbies and dreams she has and help her make them come true.
Appreciate Her
Compliments are nice, but appreciating your lady goes much deeper than superficial comments every second of the day. That said, compliment her often. Let her know you notice when she does something you enjoy, when her very presence makes you happy, or that you appreciate her in your life.
When relationships get hard (and they all do), it’s nice to know you’re appreciated. Acknowledge the small things your girlfriend does for you, notice when she gets a new haircut, and compliment her when she gets dressed up for you. Little things count too.
Show Her Your Emotions
Gender norms are changing the way many relationships function today, but it can still be difficult for many men to open and speak about their feelings. If that’s the case, try. It might be hard. However, talking with your partner about your emotions is deeply trusting. To do so, you must be vulnerable and know she will keep the things you show and tell her confidential if needed.
The best relationships allow both people to feel open and feel to discuss their feelings. Don’t be afraid to talk to her.
Make Her Laugh
Laughter helps keep the magic alive, and research shows couples that laugh together stay together longer. The more you laugh with your girlfriend, the stronger you build the relationship. It’s the moments that you both laugh that count though, so make her laugh often. Go along with the moment, and enjoy being silly together sometimes.
Protect Her
A real man protects his woman for any danger. Don’t be overprotective. Most women today are highly self-sufficient, but back her up when she needs it. Overprotecting only limits someone’s freedom.
Be Confident
Women love confident guys. A calm and assertive demeanor goes a long way. If you feel confident in yourself, she will notice. Ladies fall for a guy who knows what needs doing and how to take care of business. They don’t want to take care of you. Rather, they want someone who has dreams, goals, and aspirations. They want to see you both strive for and achieve your goals.
Exude your confidence in every activity, no matter what you do. Authentic confidence comes from knowing that you must take control of your life instead of letting the things around your influence what happens next.
Love Yourself
We all want the best for the people we love, and taking good care of yourself makes it easier for your girlfriend and the people who care for you. You should maintain your health mentally and physically. Cut out bad habits and practice self-care daily.
The better you take care of yourself, the more energy you’ll have to take care of your girlfriend and your other responsibilities. It’s like when there’s an emergency on an airplane. Self-care is your mask, and you are much better prepared to care for the people around you if your needs are met first.
Act Sweet and Caring
Through your actions, show her how sweet and caring you are. Actions speak louder than words, after all. Nice gestures, like a gift, can help you show her how you feel. You don’t even need to buy her something necessarily. It can be simple and free, as long as the action is thoughtful.
Be Romantic
Romance is the fastest way to a lady’s heart. Buy her flowers or pick some from your garden. Bring her favorite food home for dinner or surprise her with a picnic on the beach for lunch. Sweet talk her. Remind her of why she fell for you. Show her how charming and loving you are.
You don’t even need to make a big deal out of the romance. You can put your arms around your lady’s waist to hold her tight, tell her how lucky you feel to have her around, and compliment her.
One of the best ways to show your partner romance is to learn and understand their love language, as well. While there are five love languages and most people use all of them at some point in a relationship, many have a single love language they use the most. Some partners, for example, find it easier to show you how they feel through actions rather than words.
Figure out your partner’s primary love language (and yours) to better understand how to live happier together. If she tends to show you that she cares by tidying up after you, cooking your males, washing the dishes, and cleaning the house, she would most likely appreciate the same from you. It works vice versa too, which is why it’s so crucial to do your partner’s chores sometimes too (more on this later).
Make Her Feel Special
There are so many ways you can make your girlfriend feel special. Set time aside in your day to text her good morning and check in every day. Go out of your way to drop off her favorite snack for her or make her a cup of coffee in the morning.
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you can continue making her feel special throughout the years. The romance doesn’t have to stop after you win her over. Make her breakfast in bed, take the day off work on her birthday, or surprise her with a couple’s weekend getaway at a nearby bed and breakfast. Even a kiss, wrapping your arms around her, or a light shoulder massage is nice.
Be Friendly with Her Friends and Family
Don’t allow your life to revolve around your girlfriend completely. You both have friends and family, and you should make sure to win the affection of the people close to her too. Her friends and family are dear to her heart. Chances are, she’d love it if you felt the same way. Charm her people.
And don’t be afraid! It can be scary and intimidating to meet these people, but it’s also exciting. You’ll get to learn new things about your lady you hadn’t known and hear childhood stories she would never tell you otherwise.
Introduce Her to Your Friends and Family
Likewise, let her meet your loved ones. It’s important to meet and become comfortable around your girlfriend’s friends and family. Don’t grovel, but let your girlfriend’s close circle know you’re honored to have her in your life. Show you’re serious about the relationship.
Respect Existing Relationships
Your girlfriend has people in her life that love and supports her, and you must show them respect. She’ll see the effort you put in and feel happy that you respect the people she loves as much as she does.
Sure, you won’t like everyone. But always remain respectful and gracious. They’re her people. Her friends and family are who she chose to be in her life, and they were there long before you.
Even if her friends don’t seem too fond of you, they probably aren’t trying to break you up or cause any harm in your relationship. Expect them to speak up if they notice toxic and concerning behavior, but otherwise, they wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their relationship with your girlfriend either.
Don’t Be Clingy
Avoid calling or texting her many times per day. All relationships need limits, and too much attention can backfire just as quickly as not enough. Clingy or needy attitudes are off-putting because they feel like suffocating. However, sometimes, the difference between being clingy and not depends on both people’s personalities. If she likes you, your behavior may not seem clingy, even if it is.
At the beginning of the relationship, it’s crucial not to be too overbearing. You don’t need to call your girlfriend every single day or hang out with her at all moments. Allow for some time in between to miss each other. If you’re too clingy too early on in a relationship, the romance can die quickly.
Give her time to recharge and take some for yourself too. You both need it.
Surprise Her
Spontaneity is exciting sometimes, especially if you have been in a relationship for many years. It’s tempting to fall into a routine and stick with it. However, don’t ever allow the relationship to become too predictable or it may feel boring.
A vibrant relationship is full of surprises. Keep your girlfriend on her toes by preparing something fancy as a home-cooked dinner or make her lunch for her before she heads off to work. Any large or small way you want to show your affection is fine. The point here is to surprise her and make her feel special. She’ll realize how lucky she is to have you.
Help with Her Chores
Chores are something we all must live with, and they’re never fun to do. In life, we often divvy up the household chores between the people living there. If you’re living with your girlfriend, you might take out the trash while she focuses on cleaning the kitchen.
But a good boyfriend might sometimes need to pick up the slack for their partner. Life happens, and we often get busy or fall behind schedule. Be her hero. If she’s sick, clean the house for her. When she doesn’t feel like dropping the mail off, take over. Occasionally complete your partner’s chores to show her you care.
Stay Understanding
Always try to understand your girlfriend and her perspective on things. If she’s not ready to take your relationship to the next level, try to remain patient. Approach all situations with respect. She’ll reciprocate and do the same. Hopefully, you can talk about how she feels about big issues and see her point of view.
Listen Attentively
You’re probably not going to be interested in everything your girlfriend says, but you still need to always listen to your significant other when talking. Most people share information for a reason, and even if you’re not sure what that reason may be, they care about holding your attention.
A huge part of communication, listening skills are vital to relationships. Prove to each other that you’re invested in the relationship by paying attention to what the other person thinks and says. Hints may come out about who they are and what they really think that you don’t notice from words alone.
Listen and hear what she says through her body language and mannerisms, as well. Humans communicate much more than what they say out loud if you’re paying attention.
Help Her When She Needs You
Some girlfriends are more independent than others. No matter how capable your lady is, however, she will need your help from time to time.
Good boyfriends know that they must be there when they’re needed, and this involves both giving physical help in the form of reaching high objects and offering emotional guidance when she needs advice on an issue in her life. The type of help varies. Expect to carry in groceries, grab dinner on your way over, run a quick errand, keep her feet warm, anything she asks.
Avoid Mansplaining or Minimizing Her Concerns
If she tells you something, never mansplain or minimize her concerns. Telling someone not to worry is counterproductive. She already knows how she feels and is probably talking to you about the issue for advice or help. You don’t even need to doll out a specific answer to her problem, as she might want to be heard. Talking things out is beneficial too, even if she knows what to do.
Just tell her you do support her, and your girlfriend will feel much better.
Take Note of the Little Things
Before you can show your girlfriend that you know how to be a good boyfriend, you need to pay attention to her. Remember what she says and does. Try to take note of little things, like if she mentions something she’s been meaning to buy or a movie she wants to see.
At the beginning of a relationship, you don’t know much about each other yet. This process helps you get to know each other faster and easier. If your girlfriend is not the type to talk about herself often, ask her questions. It’s a great ice breaker to ask a new prospective girlfriend what her favorite flower is.
And if your memory is lousy, make the note physical rather than mental. You can keep a private note on your phone to keep track of facts about your favorite new lady. Come back to them later when you’re trying to think of a birthday gift or delete the entire list if things don’t work out.
Show Her You Care
Actions are the best way to show someone you care. Being a boyfriend is about much more than going on dates and dishing out compliments. You must show her your care in other ways too.
Chances are, your girlfriend loves when you think about her spur of the moment and surprise her with something she enjoys. It could be a snack from the gas station or a pair of diamond earrings, anything she likes. Pay attention to her favorite candy bar or soda, think outside the box and write her a love story, or hug her when she needs you.
Never make a big promise you might not be able to keep or lie about doing something nice for her when it was someone else.
Become Her Emotional Security Blanket
A good boyfriend is like an emotional security blanket. He’s there when she needs to talk, whether she’s looking for advice or just someone to listen. Support her and always take her side. Allow her to think you believe she’s beautiful when she’s sick, hold her when she needs you, and provide chocolate on demand when she asks. Whatever she needs, be there for her.
Show Tough Love Sometimes
Being on your girlfriend’s side all the time doesn’t mean you always agree with her. Sometimes you need to show tough love. Good boyfriends aren’t afraid to tell their lady the truth. It’s okay to disagree or have a different point of view. Your love should be unconditional.
Don’t Stop Your Hobbies
Early in a new relationship, it’s natural to spend tons of time together. You’re excited about the fresh new love in your life, and love is proven by science to be as addictive as cocaine. But as the relationship goes on and you grow together as a couple, remember to grow independently as well.
You shouldn’t stop your hobbies. Keep up with the things you’re interested in and encourage your partner to do the same. It’s vital to have your hobbies. You probably don’t like all the same things anyway.
Create New Hobbies Together
Couples also stay together longer when they have fun together, so create new hobbies you enjoy to do together too. Try taking a cooking or improv class, hike a new part of the globe, or take an exercise course at the gym you’ve never thought to take.
Never Try to Win
In a relationship, you can’t keep score or try to win. There’s no winning when your partner loses. And that’s how it would have to work for you to win. You’re a team in the relationship.
Arguments happen, but don’t try to win the argument. Set your need to be right all the time aside and understand that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes. Go into it with the mindset of trying to understand another person’s point of view, and don’t try to change anyone’s mind, or they may start to hate you instead.
Don’t Control Her
Sometimes people have bad habits or little things you’d like to change about them. Rather than try to force your girlfriend into changing simply because that’s what you want, be a positive influence. You can’t change anyone, and the more you push, the more you will push them away. Try becoming a decent role model yourself and see if she follows suit.
If she doesn’t catch on, don’t worry. Just try to love her imperfections. They’re part of who she is.
Never Stop Dating
Many relationships go stale after exclusivity, marriage, or kids because they stop dating. Once the courtship phase is over, the relationship turns into less of courtship and more work. But it doesn’t have to. No matter what phase you are in your relationship or how many years you’ve been together, always go on dates and try to impress your partner.
Show your love with weekly romance. It doesn’t have to be a traditional dinner and a movie type of date but spend time focused on each other in the way you would during the beginning of a new and exciting relationship. Don’t let the romance fade completely away. Pick up her favorite take out for dinner and rent that movie she’s been meaning to see as a Friday night surprise. Anything she likes.
