When you’re dating a guy you really like, you may wonder how to get to the next step and prove you’re girlfriend material. If you’re with the right guy, it will still take a few subtle hints to let him know you’re the one for him.
If you’re wondering how to become his girlfriend, there are many things you can do to keep him interested and turn a casual relationship into a serious one. Some guys need more prodding than others, though.
Never pretend to be what you think he wants you to be. Always be yourself, and you’ll attract and keep the right guy. You won’t maintain a relationship for long if you think you have to fit into a specific mold to attract a guy.
You will need to step up your game if you want to get into a committed relationship faster, even if the guy you’re dating likes you as much as you like him.
Tips on How to be Girlfriend Material
We like to think that the best relationships evolve naturally, and in most cases, that’s true. However, it doesn’t hurt to help things along by fine-tuning your behavior. Want to seal the deal on your budding relationship? Here are some tips on how to become his girlfriend.
Show That You Take Care of Yourself
If you have a job, a business, or are self-employed, it shows that you can take care of yourself and are financially responsible. You’re showing you can pay your bills and are self-sufficient.
You must also take care of yourself mentally by reading and learning new things even if you’re not formally enrolled in school. A woman who challenges herself mentally by taking adult education classes or taking on extra projects at work is attractive to men. Guys like smart women who have ambition and a desire to better themselves.
Keep yourself looking and feeling healthy by exercising, eating right, and controlling stress. Guys like a fit, energetic woman who takes care of herself. Dress to look your best and accentuate your good points.
Don’t wear trendy or revealing fashions. Strive to develop your own style (if you haven’t already). Everyone likes and respects a woman who has her own identifiable “look” and style, whether its jeans and a peasant blouse or a basic black sheath dress.
Look like the best version of yourself. Avoid comparing yourself to other women, or thinking you’re not beautiful or fashionable enough to be girlfriend material. A healthy, confident woman with her life together is always attractive to a man.
Stay emotionally healthy by fulfilling your friendships, hobbies, and keeping in touch with your family. Be grateful for what you have. Studies show that showing gratitude is one of the best ways to stay happy and avoid anxiety and depression.
Volunteering and helping others are other excellent ways to boost your emotional health. Develop a full life outside of dating and romantic relationships, and you’ll have more to offer in those relationships.
Your emotional health shouldn’t be dependent on your boyfriend or whether or not you’re in a relationship. An independent woman who’s happy and fulfilled without a man will have an easy time attracting men. A needy, desperate woman who feels she needs a boyfriend to be happy will have a harder time attracting a man.
Don’t Rush into a Relationship
When you first meet a guy, you want to move slowly and gauge how he acts before you turn on your full charm. You need to take a “wait and see” attitude when you first date someone. When you come on too strong, it can scare off some guys and confuse others. Show some of your good qualities, but don’t overdo it.
Avoid answering all his calls and texts immediately when you first start dating. Go about your day and answer his calls within a reasonable amount of time. Act happy to hear from him, but don’t be too enthusiastic.
Demonstrate that you appreciate what he does for you. Letting him know you care about what he does for you encourage him to continue doing things for you. Thank him when he brings you a coffee in the morning or puts the dishes away when you are tired. Show appreciation for the kind things he does every day.
Guys like it when you’re grateful for the way they treat you. If you never thank a man for picking you up after work or other daily acts of kindness, he may think you just take him for granted and won’t think of you as girlfriend material.
Let Him Know You’re Part of his Everyday Life
Leave a small bottle of shampoo or one of your scarves in his apartment. Don’t leave anything obvious, like clothing or electronics. Toiletries and accessories will make him feel like you’re a part of his daily life. When he sees your shampoo on the counter by the sink, it will make him think about what it would be like to live as a couple.
You should leave some space in your apartment for your guy to leave some of his belongings, too.
When you leave little things in each other’s apartment shows that you are committed to each other. You’ll start to feel more comfortable with each other, and get the feeling that living together wouldn’t be so bad.
Act confident, even if you’re in a bad mood. Guys like self-assured women who know what they want and aren’t afraid to let people know it.
A confident woman doesn’t let other people’s criticisms fluster her. She knows that other people’s opinions of her don’t mean much – how she views herself means everything.
Dress the way you want, carry yourself with pride, and speak in a pleasant but authoritative voice.
Don’t confuse being confident with being bossy or bitchy. Guys dislike selfish, demanding women as much as they dislike needy women.
Remember that learning how to become his girlfriend is about your demeanor and approach and being attentive to his needs.
Don’t Flirt with or Hook Up with Other Guys
If you weren’t sure about your guy when you first started dating and continued to date other guys, stop seeing your other suitors and let them know you’re in a serious relationship. Let the other guys you’ve dating know that you can’t see them again, and make sure they understand that you are now in a committed relationship.
Respect His Privacy
It may be tempting to look in his coat pockets or sneak a peek at his unlocked cell phone or social media after a fight, but don’t do it! If you don’t trust him, there’s no chance for a serious relationship.
Learn to control your temper and suspicion. Take a step back and think logically when you feel mad. How would you like it if a guy looked at your cell phone messages when you stepped out of the room? Mutual trust is imperative if you want to have a serious relationship with a guy you’re dating.
If you can’t trust him to be honest, you may want to think twice about your desire to have a relationship with him. Couples need to respect each other’s privacy to maintain a long-term relationship.
Touch or Cuddle Outside the Bedroom
You can occasionally show affection outside the bedroom-just don’t get clingy or overdo it. Give your guy a peck on the cheek before he goes off to work, or squeeze his hand when he talks about his team winning an important game.
Give him a warm cuddle when he returns home after spending time out in cold weather. You don’t need a special event to touch or cuddle your man.
Ask Him for Advice
Ask for his advice occasionally. Your guy likes to feel valued for his intelligence and opinions at work, and he’ll feel doubly proud appreciated when you ask him for advice. You can ask him for his opinion about one of your work projects, what golf club to buy, or information about how to handle a problem with your computer.
Asking for his advice shows you respect his opinion and knowledge and consider him a trusted friend, not just a lover.
Listen to Him
Listen fully to your guy when he talks, even when he’s talking about something you’re not particularly interested in, like his trip to a football game with the guys. When you actively listen to him and ask him questions about what he’s said, it shows that you respect him and his feelings, opinions, and interests.
Spend your time listening to him instead of thinking of how you are going to reply. You want to remember all the details and maybe refer to them during a conversation in the future. Remembering little details shows that you care about him and take an active interest in what he says and does.
Get to Know His Family and Friends
Show that you can hang out with his friends and even share some of their interests without hiding your own personality. You’ll learn more about your guy by going out with him and his friends.
Even though it’s healthy to have friends outside the relationship and spend time away from your Significant Other, it’s important to hang out with your guy and his friends occasionally. If your guy’s friends like you and think your good for him, it with further solidify your relationship.
Concentrate on the Future, Not the Past
Stay in the present moment and concentrate on your current date. Don’t think about what went wrong in the past or how your last boyfriend treated you. If you are focusing on the past, you won’t be able to improve the present and the future.
You’ll project fear and mistrust if you carry over past bad relationships into your current dating life. Focus on what you can do to make things better now. Correct some of the mistakes you made in the past when meeting a new guy. If you came on too strong, take it easy and show your sense of fun.
Avoid talking about your exes or any bad things that happened on past dates. Talking about your dating past will only make your new potential partner feel uncomfortable. Ask him questions about his life and enjoy the meal you’re sharing or the event you’re attending.
If you talk about how horrible your previous relationships were, he may feel like you’re expecting him to be the perfect date/boyfriend to make up for your past romantic mistakes. He will ay resent taking second place on a date to talk about your bad exes and not return for a second date.
Let your first few dates flow naturally. As you get to know each other better, you can reveal more about each other’s past.
Don’t Complain about Others
Always maintain a positive aura and energy. You want to be natural and display a range of emotions, as you continue to date and get to know a man better, but avoid complaining about other people. (Yes, even your boss!)
When you constantly complain about co-workers, friends, news stories, restaurant service, etc., a man will consider you to be difficult and negative. No one wants a relationship with a person who is constantly criticizing others. He will think you’ll start complaining about him eventually, and this can drive him away from you.
You may not be aware that you spend so much time complaining or talking about negative subjects in everyday conversation. Before you go on a date, ask a trustworthy friend if you are too negative in your everyday comments. You want to improve yourself as much as you can before introducing yourself to a new guy.
Problems in past relationships aren’t usually due to one person’s behavior, but to lapses from both partners.
Hold Your Own in Any Situation
When a man brings you to a social event, it helps if you are confident enough to socialize on your own and not stand around bored, looking at your phone.
Guys like girls who they don’t have to baby-sit at work, social or family functions. If he sees you talking to someone, he won’t need to worry about you being bored or begging him to go home early. Even if you are nervous or bored while attending one of his social functions, work through it, and stay engaged with others.
You would expect your guy to be upbeat and engaged (or at least pretend to be) when you bring him to one of your work or family functions. You should do the same for him.
Tell Him You Love Him First
It’s okay to tell a guy you love him before he says he loves you. There are no rules about who should say “I love you” first. Be direct and honest. Say “I love you” in a natural but upbeat way.
You don’t need to sound serious and formal about it. You can also let him know that you consider the relationship serious and exclusive, and let one thing lead to another. If he feels the same way about you, he’ll agree and may even say, “I love you” before you do.
Don’t hide things or tell little white lies because you think the truth will hurt your partner or your relationship. It’s better for you to tell your guy the truth now than wait and hope it never comes out (or that you’ll just tell him later).
Tell a guy if you think you may lose your job, or if your ex showed up in the lobby of your building. You can resolve most problems together if you are truthful about them from the start. Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it disappear.
Show Support for Him Personally and Professionally
Ask him about his day when he gets home from work. Listen attentively and ask questions. Support him in all his endeavors, from work presentations to his softball league on the weekends.
Help him with his work reports by proofreading them, and suggest a top-notch but inexpensive company that can make uniforms for his softball team.
Let him know that you’re his friend, not just his lover. For a serious relationship to work, both parties need to care about the other as a person, not just as a romantic interest.
Let Him Know It’s More than Physical
You want to let him know you’re serious and not to be taken for granted. Make sure he respects you as a person and considers you more than a sex partner. Play hard to get for a while (not for too long) and go out on dates that don’t end up in the bedroom. In a real relationship, partners share laughter, dreams, troubles, and travels together.
Be Easygoing and Fun-Loving
Be open-minded and upbeat if you want to show you’re girlfriend material. Find a middle point between being reserved or difficult and being too accommodating. Be spontaneous when you go out somewhere or just hang out – suggest exciting and different things to do, not the usual movie and dinner routine.
You might suggest going zip-lining on the weekend or visiting a museum of horror movie memorabilia. Show him you’re an independent thinker when it comes to dating. Guys like girls who aren’t afraid to explore the world and try new things.
Challenge him mentally, emotionally, and physically. Do this to show that you’re a worthy partner and to test him and make sure he is, too. Challenging him to be better makes you more attractive and confident.
From time to time, make him wonder up you’re up to or where you are going. You don’t want him to think you’re a pushover now that you’re in a committed relationship.
You can show him your emotional or vulnerable side occasionally at the beginning of the relationship. You want to emphasize your strength and confidence when you first meet someone; then you can slowly show him your softer side. If you seem too weak-willed at the beginning of the relationship, you may scare him, and he may break up with you.
Physically challenge your guy either in the bedroom or as an athlete. Use your intuition and his responses to see how far you can push him.
Have a Sexy Attitude
Being sexy isn’t contingent on your body shape or what you wear. Men respond to your attitude and energy. You can dress sexy, but if you act depressed or timid, it won’t affect him the same way as when you act sexy or self-assured. You don’t need to be conventionally beautiful to be sexy.
A woman wearing jeans and a T-shirt can be sexier than a woman in a low-cut dress if she has the right attitude. Walk and talk with purpose. Have your own career and interests. Keep your calendar filled with events that don’t involve him. Having a rich, full life is sexy.
Teach Him without Mocking Him
If you mention something in conversation and he doesn’t know about it, don’t belittle him. Explain it to him without judgment, whether it’s a news story or a scientific fact or the plot of a movie. He probably knows a lot of things you don’t, so someday the scenario will play out in reverse.
Make him Respect You
A man will treat you the way you teach him, too, so always have self-respect, and he will give you the same respect. Don’t tolerate any bad behavior or mistreatment from him. Let him know immediately that you won’t tolerate being ignored or treated poorly.
If he is serious about you, he will treat you well, and change his behavior if you tell him you won’t tolerate disrespect.
What Do Guys Look for in a Girlfriend?
While the traits a guy looks for in a girlfriend varies slightly according to the individual’s age, interests, and personality, here are the traits most guys look for in a girlfriend.
- She has a life of her own
- She’s sexy without being easy
- She does little things for her man
- She helps her guy without being asked
- She stands up for herself
Think about what you can do to highlight these traits during encounters with a new guy. Remember, you want to be yourself, only better, when dating a guy you like.