During the initial dating stages, communication can be a tricky hill to cross. It often starts as a delicate scale of ego with both people trying not to tip their ends too drastically to protect themselves emotionally. While both people want to share their feelings and goals for romance, nobody wants to risk appearing eager. The problem is that when we share our innermost thoughts, we do become vulnerable, especially if the other person is not on the same page.
The fear of rejection is the reason why many people find it much easier to cling to their safety nets, hoping that the other person will do most of the initiating. Alas, welcome to the dreaded standstill where progress becomes virtually impossible.
Following are some easy ways you can open up the lines of communication without cutting your safety net short.
The follow-up text
The follow-up text is essential for measuring your date’s level of interest after the first meeting. This approach is mainly a guy’s responsibility as most women expect to be pursued at the beginning. The text must be sent the day after the date if you’re genuinely interested in seeing her again– so forget about the three-day waiting period. This text can as simple as “Hey. how’s your day going?”. This shows your interested without being too aggressive.
If she doesn’t respond, don’t worry about it. If you focus on every tiny setback, you’ll distract yourself from what’s really important: getting a new date. With this carefree attitude, you can enjoy the dating process instead of getting too emotional or sensitive.
Exploring the three-day rule myth
Somehow, over the years of modern dating, people have developed the idea that waiting periods are a good idea for new dates. How did this dating rule begin, exactly? Did a bunch of guys get together and decide that a three-day waiting period is the way to a woman’s heart?
Let’s first explore the logic behind the three-day waiting period. It has often been said that when a man waits three days before contacting his date, he has established an aura of mystery and intrigue. At this point, the woman is supposed to become interested because the man appears more unpredictable and thus desirable. While this may work on some women, for most self-assured ladies, you’ll only come across as offensive and careless rather than exciting. To avoid missing out on a good thing, you’re better off not following the three-day rule.
This rule can become especially problematic when your date didn’t feel chemistry with you in the first place. In this case, your three-day waiting period would only let her forget you. Sorry. So, instead of pretending to ignore a woman you like, pick up the phone and be a man!
Forget the games!
When you leave the games behind, you invite richer opportunities to connect with women. There is a special vulnerability that must be present during a date, otherwise. there’s no risk involved, which means no romance. So, the next time you find yourself thinking about a woman after a great date, call her the very next day.
Keep in mind that dropping the games does not mean losing complete control. This means you should not start calling incessantly or sending overly gooey love messages all the time. There should be a healthy balance between pursuing and withholding.
For example, there’s a fine line between waiting an hour to answer a text and waiting a week. When you’re able to find this balanced dating style, you’ll be happier and more successful in the dating world.
Another way to put an end to games is to reconsider your dating apps. If you’re an avid user of apps like Tinder and POF, it’s not surprising that you keep riding the merry-go-round with flaky women. To get better responses, try apps with women who are genuinely open to connecting such as Math or Who Winked Me.
Planning date two
It’s NEVER too soon to ask for date two. Some guys believe that if they initiate the second date too quickly, they may scare off the woman. However, this would only be true if the woman was barely interested in the first place.
Realistically, a woman is not going to shrug away from your advances if she’s into you. In fact, she’ll welcome you with open arms, and over time perhaps even an open heart. So, if you think there was some solid chemistry brewing on the first date, do not wait to keep the heat boiling! Go with your gut.
Moving forward does not have to be a game of resistance. Everyone needs to let their guard down a little to invite romance into their lives and find the right one.
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