Getting a girlfriend can be tough for any person of any age. Not only can it be intimidating, it can be confusing as well. But it can be especially intimidating to do it when you are in high school.
Depending on what grade you are in, a large number of people at this age have never been in a relationship or gone on a date before. And even if you have dated before, it is different in high school.
At this time of your life, emotions are stronger and people take these things a little more seriously. And in high school, everyone is still learning what it means to become an adult. There are many factors to consider when you are trying to get a girlfriend in high school.
First of all, how do you even pick someone to be your girlfriend? Who do you like? Is there someone that you feel drawn to, like you have a strong connection that could possibly lead to something more? Or maybe there is a girl in your school who you do not know that well but there is something about her that you cannot get out of her head. If any of this sounds familiar to you, then maybe you have found the girl who you want to be your high school girlfriend.
Below are a few tips on how you can get a girlfriend in high school. While you do not necessarily need to do all of these things in order to get a girlfriend, following at least some of these tips can help improve your chances of finding the right girl for you.
How To Get A Girlfriend In High School
Take Care of Yourself
The first step to getting a girlfriend in high school is making yourself appear appealing. Most girls will not want a slob. High school boys are known for not always being particular about how they groom themselves. This is something you want to consider when you are trying to get a girlfriend.
If you are interested in having a girlfriend, one of the first things that you will really need to make sure that you take care of yourself first. This can be as simple as brushing your hair and using deodorant or you can even try to dress decently and look attractive. Make sure that your socks match and that your clothes are washed and do not try to douse yourself in too much cologne either.
How you take care of yourself really depends on what your comfort level is, but you should at least try to look appealing to girls. At the very least, you should avoid being smelly. Do your best to look and smell nice, otherwise you could have a hard time finding a girlfriend.
You might even want to take this a step further by trying to avoid looking like you just rolled out of bed. In addition to washing your face, brushing your teeth, and combing your hair. Ideally, your clothes will not be all wrinkled. If you take some care in how you dress yourself, girls will take notice of that. If you have some female friends or guy friends who are not single, they might be able to give you some help as well.
Keep in mind that you do not need to give yourself a complete makeover in order to get a girlfriend. Nor should you try to be someone that you are not. But try to at least smell nice and look presentable for the girl that you like.
This is not necessarily a suggestion to date your friends. But when you have your own circle of friends, a girl can be more likely to see you as more approachable. If you keep to yourself and do not interact with others, then how will you be able to meet a girl? Friends are also great because they can help you showcase some of your best qualities.
When you have friends, your crush might see that you have people who value you and care about you as a person. Whereas if you have no friends or are always burning bridges with friends, she might notice that as well and take it as a bad sign. If you have trouble making or keeping friends, then she might think that you have trouble with people and any sort of relationship, be it romantic or platonic.
If you are patient, loyal, and generous, for example, that might come through in how you treat your friends. And try to have friends of both genders. Having friends who are girls can help you to understand how girls think and they might be able to give you good advice that your guy friends might not be able to give to you.
Having a group of friends will also help you work on your social skills. You will learn how to be a good friend which can be a good base for learning how to be a good boyfriend. Having friends might also help you gain confidence.
In high school, it can be easy to get lost in the crowd. Luckily, there are various ways for you to stand out in school. You can participate and raise your hand in class once in a while or take part in school activities. Even though raising your hand in class will get her attention, you will also want to avoid being a know it all. You might know a lot about the subject, but you want to give other classmates a chance to have their turn.
At the same time, do not just join activities to get a girlfriend. For example, you should not join the football team just because you think it will get you a girlfriend. You should participate in activities that genuinely interest you.
Get Her Attention
If you do not even talk to the girl you like, then how will you get her to be your girlfriend? Start out by saying hi to her every day. You can slowly build a rapport with her that will make her comfortable and friendly with you.
You can find excuses to talk to her, especially if you have a class together. You can ask her about your homework or try to study or do homework together.
In school, you can also get her attention by making others laugh or by being active in your school. Just avoid making a fool of yourself. You don’t want her to think that you are just a class clown who will take nothing seriously.
Find Something in Common
A great way to get a girlfriend is by having something in common with her. This can be found in a common after-school activity, liking the same music, or a variety of other things. In order to find out what you have in common, you will have to get to know her more.
On a smaller scale, you can even talk about a class you both have, the weather, or a school event that is coming up. If you have some mutual friends, then that is a great way you can connect over. And if your friends are willing, they can help you to facilitate the connection so you can get the ball rolling.
When it comes to the girl you like, you will want to avoid faking a common interest with her. While it is admirable that you want to feel more closely connected to her, it is better if your shared interests are genuine ones that you can really connect over. Besides, if you fake an interest in something and she finds out, she might lose respect for you.
Avoid Having a Bad Reputation
While it is good for your crush to know who you are, you don’t want her to know you for bad things. If you are always getting in trouble at school, that can be a huge turn off for her. Or if you are mean to other classmates, she might hear about that too.
If you are a class clown, there is a chance that she might not be able to take you seriously as boyfriend material. So be careful of the reputation that you create for yourself.
Remember that people will also judge you based on who you hang out with, especially in high school. If you are friends with bullies or people who are always getting detention, girls will take note of that and many of them might assume that you are bad news as well.
Spend Time Together Outside of School
There are many ways you and your crush can spend time together after school. You can hang around her locker and stop to chat for a few minutes after school has ended. You can also offer to walk her home.
You can also spend time together at the library and do homework or study together. If you have a shared interest, then you can join an extracurricular activity together.
If you are more familiar with each other, you can even ask her if she wants to grab a bite nearby. You can also invite her over to your place to do homework or watch TV. These are just a few ways that you can spend time together after school.
You might be hesitant to jump straight into dates with this girl or maybe she is feeling hesitant about this. You can put her at ease by inviting her to hang out with you and your friends. This will also give her an opportunity to get to know the other people in your life. In time, she might be more eager and more comfortable to just hang out with you.
Get Her Alone
This advice does not mean that you should necessarily get her all alone in a room. But you should try to have one on one conversations with her. If she is always surrounded by your friends, then how can you really get to know each other?
If she really is around her friends all the time, then you might have to ask her if she can talk to you alone for a minute.
You can also spend alone time with her if you are able to partner up on a class project together. If you have a science class together and none of her close friends are in that class, then you can ask her to be your lab partner.
When you already know a girl, it can get tricky when you get closer to her. If you like her, you want to avoid going straight into friend territory. This is why flirting is important as it will show the girl you like that you are interested in her romantically. There are subtle ways to flirt with a girl without coming off as creepy.
If you know where this girl’s locker is, then you can stop and say hi to her when you walk by. Even if you do not have classes together, you can walk her to class if you are heading in the same direction.
You can compliment the girl you like by saying that she looks nice today. You can hold the door open for her and chat with her on the lunch line. If you are in a class together, you can see if she will partner with you during group projects.
Another effective flirting method is to find excuses to lightly touch your crush. You can touch her shoulder if she says something funny. At the same time, be aware of her boundaries and make sure that you respect them.
Make eye contact with her. This will make her feel closer to you and it will let her know that you are listening to what she has to say. Looking her in the eyes will show that you have an interest in her.
When she talks, you can lean in towards her. This body language will tell her that you are tuned in to her. You can also nod your head occasionally when she talks.
Leave Her Wanting More
While it can be tempting to focus all of your attention on your crush, you also want her to know that you have a life and are not way too obsessive. If you do come off that way, then she might see you as way too intense for her.
It is definitely encouraged to have conversations with the girl you like. After talking about yourself a little bit, you can leave more information for the next time you talk. You should certainly leave her wanting to know even more about you. That way, you will definitely have an excuse to continue the conversation soon.
Even when she ask you things such as your plans for the weekend, do not tell her every little detail as this might bore her. Just tell her one or two things and do not forget to ask her what she is doing too. You must always show an interest in her life, especially when she shows an interest in yours.
Again, do not give her everything right away. If you do want to make physical moves, try to not rush things. If you try to do too much with her right away, she will think that all you care about is a hookup instead of becoming her actual boyfriend. If you are serious about being in a relationship, then you will actually need to court her a little bit.
Ask Her On a Date
There are many ways to ask your crush on a date. You can ask her out in person, pass her a note in class, have a friend give her the note, or ask her through text messaging or e-mail. So no matter how shy you are, there is really no excuse not to go for it.
Before you ask your crush on a date, make sure she at least knows you. If you have never really had a conversation with this girl, then why should she want to go on a date with you? Make sure that you develop some sort of rapport with her before you ask her out.
If a special event like a school dance is coming up, you can ask her as your date as well. At the same time, you should be aware that friends will sometimes go as dates together so you will want it to be clear that you do have romantic feelings for her.
Do you have a school play, art show, or some other event coming up? You can ask her to go with you and see if she is keen on coming as your date.
When you ask this girl to go out on a date with you, avoid being vague. Instead of saying “do you want to grab a bite sometime,” you are better off thinking of a specific time and place. If she cannot do that time but is genuinely interested, she will figure out a date that works for both of you.
Do Not Act Entitled
While there is nothing wrong with making your feelings known to the girl you like, do not be obnoxious about it either. Even if you are nice to her, it does not mean that she owes you anything. All that you can do is lay down the groundwork and hope that she will reciprocate your feelings.
If she does like you back, then you have a very good chance of getting her to become your girlfriend. Never take her for granted, including when you are still trying to date her. If you act disrespectful towards her or spurn her, then she will be a lot less likely to want to become your girlfriend.
Since you are in high school, you will be surrounded by lots of other people. You might want to impress other people, especially your friends. If you have a girl that you are courting or who is showing interest in you, do not run to your friends and brag about it. If you do this, you will risk embarrassing this girl or she might not like you talking about her to other people. Always be discreet in these matters.
Be a Gentleman
This ties into the last piece of advice. Treat her how you would want to be treated. Do not take it badly or personally if she does not want to be your girlfriend. Just move on and find someone who will reciprocate your feelings. You deserve to be with someone who likes you back and you certainly cannot force those feelings.
And if you are lucky enough to get a girl to be your girlfriend, then do not take her for granted and do not pressure her to do anything that she does not want to do. Respect her boundaries and try your best to be a good listener and a thoughtful boyfriend.
In terms of being intimate, always ask first before you do anything. Whether you want to hold her hand or kiss her, make sure to ask first. This will help make sure that you are both comfortable and ready. You want to make sure that you have a trusting relationship where each other’s boundaries and needs are respected.
As you can see, there are many steps to getting a girlfriend in high school. Remember to take care of your appearances, treat people nicely, and to treat the girl that you like with respect. Show a genuine interest in her and do not be fake as an attempt to make her like you more.
Do not be shy. Build a rapport with this girl and get to know her. Gather the courage to ask her out on a date and if she says no, that is okay. You can use the confidence that you have now to move on and pursue someone else. Be confident and sure of yourself without being arrogant. And with some luck and effort, you will get yourself a girlfriend in high school.