Sometimes, people in relationships will argue or disagree over something. Other times, one person will hurt the other person’s feelings. Sometimes it is something that can be easily discussed and resolved. And other times, it will take more than just saying “I am sorry.”
First, think about why you even need to make it up to your boyfriend. Did you hurt him? Did you disappoint him in some way? Did you cheat on him? Or did you take a joke too far and wound his feelings and pride?
How you will make it up to your boyfriend should depend on the severity of what you have done to upset him. A misunderstanding will require a small gesture, but if you have betrayed his trust in a huge way, then you should make a lot of effort to gain his trust back.
No matter how you have hurt your boyfriend, it is your actions that will convince him whether or not you are sincere in your apology to him. It is in your best interest to be mindful of your actions, especially the ones towards him.
Think about how you would feel if the situation was reversed. How would you feel if your boyfriend hurt you or said something to hurt your feelings? You would probably feel frustrated and maybe even sad or angry to say the least.
The first step to making it up to your boyfriend is that you should be remorseful. If you are not truly sorry, then you will not get anywhere productive with him. Do not make him feel bad for feeling bad. He is entitled to his feelings which are valid.
It might feel uncomfortable that you have caused him to feel upset, but if you are in the wrong, then you have to take responsibility for your actions. Do not just throw your hands up in the air and give up on the relationship if you think it is worth saving.
If you care about your boyfriend and your relationship, then you will want to make things right with him. You can use the advice below to figure out the most effective ways that you can make it up to your boyfriend.
How to Make it Up to Your Boyfriend
1. Give a sincere apology
If you have done something wrong in your relationship, then you will need to tell your boyfriend that you are sorry. This action includes acknowledging what you did wrong.
Own up to your flaws and take responsibility for your actions. It is better to say sorry sooner than later. Why would you drag it out if you know that you are the one in the wrong?
The sooner that you are able to apologize and make up with your boyfriend, the faster the two of you can move on together and be happy. Do not be too proud to say that you are sorry if you did something wrong. Everyone messes up sometimes. It is a part of life.
2. Respect his privacy
If your boyfriend wants to be alone for now, then let him have his space. Emphasize that you will give him his space so that he can calm down and process his feelings.
You might be the type of person who wants to deal with things head on and talk them out right away. But he might need a moment, or even a day, to process what he is dealing with.
When we are upset, confused, or sad, we often want to be alone so that we can figure things out on our own. Sometimes we just need to be isolated in our own thoughts, even if it is just for a little while.
If you do not give him the privacy that he needs, then you are not giving him space in the relationship. And that would not be healthy.
This only applies if he expresses that he needs to be alone. Otherwise, you can try to tackle these issues with him sooner rather than later.
3. Let him know that you will be there when he is ready
When your boyfriend is upset with you, then it is natural for you to feel like you should keep your distance from him until he cools down. While you let him have his space, tell him that you will be there to talk to when he is ready to do so.
If you do not communicate this to your boyfriend, then he might think that you are just throwing your hands in the air and giving up. It will look like you are just walking away from the problem without any intentions of trying to solve the issue.
Communication is key in any relationship. Without it, a healthy relationship will not exist, no matter how much you both might love each other.
This is why it is good to let your boyfriend know that you will be there when he is ready to talk to you. He should know that he is not alone in this relationship.
4. Hold his hand
If your boyfriend is feeling upset, try to show your boyfriend some affection, even if you are the reason he is upset. Even a gesture as small as reaching for his hand can mean the world to him. It will demonstrate to him that you want to make things right.
At the same time, if he is upset with you, there is also the chance that he will not want your affection for now. If he does not want it, that is okay. Give him time to come around.
5. Hug him
There is something magical about a hug. It has the ability to calm us down and warm us up inside. When you know that you have messed up with your boyfriend, give him a hug. Show him that you are truly sorry about what has happened.
No matter how old you are, sometimes all you need is a hug from someone you love to remind you that everything is going to be okay. A hug can remind you that someone cares and that you are loved.
6. Have something delivered to him
Who does not like getting a thoughtful surprise delivered at their doorstep? Whether you deliver a package or a meal, you will warm up his heart even if he is feeling a little cross with you.
If you send your boyfriend a nice surprise, he will really appreciate that you are thinking about him and he will not see it coming.
7. Give him a kiss
You can hold his hand or hug him, but a kiss reinforces the fact that you are your boyfriend’s romantic partner. Sometimes, intimacy and romance can make things a little better when your boyfriend is upset at you.
This does not mean that you should not work on your behavior on the future, but the kiss might be a nice reminder to him of how nice things are with you when they are going great.
8. Try something new together
If you and your boyfriend have hit a bump in the road, sometimes you need to try something new to help you get out of that rut. Even when you have been together for a while, you should still try to date each other.
Doing something new together can help you take your minds off of whatever is causing a rift in the relationship. That is not to say that you should not talk through your problems first.
But when you have talked it out and figured out how to avoid these issues in the future, then you can try to inject some fun into the relationship again.
9. Take a look at your behavior
If you want your boyfriend to be able to move on from being upset with you, then you have to think about how this started in the first place. Look inward and examine your actions and words that may have hurt him.
Why do you think you did those things to upset him? How can you avoid repeating this type of behavior in the future?
10. Improve yourself
If you want to show your boyfriend that things will be better from now on, then you have to want to improve yourself. You cannot just say sorry and expect everything to be okay. You will also have to let your actions speak for you.
Be the best version of yourself that you can be, not only for your boyfriend but for yourself as well. He deserves the best version of you, and you deserve to be the best that you can be.
Ask yourself how you can be better for yourself, as well as for the relationship. Can you be more communicative? More honest? More patient and understanding?
Look at the ways in which you can improve and then put it into practice. When you do this, your boyfriend will see and appreciate the effort that you are making to be a better person.
11. Learn from your mistakes
After a fight or disagreement, you will want your boyfriend to trust you again and this will involve you learning from your mistakes. Identify how you can avoid making those same mistakes again.
You cannot take back what you said or did to upset your boyfriend. All you can do is learn from what happened and make sure that you avoid these situations in the future.
12. Write a heartfelt letter
Remind him of your love for him by writing him a letter where you reaffirm your feelings for him. Be sincere and honest in how you convey your feelings to him.
You do not have to write a whole novel, but make sure that you cover what went wrong and what you could be doing better. Remind him of your feelings for him and how much you love him. Talk about what you see for your future together.
A handwritten letter or note is a lot more heartfelt than a letter that is typed up.
13. Write an apology poem
Try to apologize to your boyfriend in a creative way. You can write a poem for your boyfriend to say that you are sorry. You can choose to rhyme or decide to go with a more unpredictable writing style.
There are many ways for you to write an apology poem for your boyfriend. You can write your poem as a sonnet, an acrostic poem, or even as a haiku.
An acrostic poem is a poem where each line starts with a letter that spells out something. Here is an example of an acrostic poem that spells out the word “sorry.”
Sometimes I do things that make you sad,
Or I do something to make you mad.
Remember that I love you no matter what.
Run into my arms, I apologize for everything that I have done.
You are the only one for me.
14. Leave a secret message
You can also say sorry in a message. Instead of just handing your boyfriend the message, you can leave it in his lunchbox, his pocket, or anywhere else that you know that he is bound to find it. You can also leave your apology in a book he is reading or on the dresser.
15. Leave him a sticky note
You can also leave an apology in the form of a sticky note. You can leave this note for your boyfriend on the bathroom mirror, in his car, on his phone, and many other places. You can even spell out “I’m sorry” as well.
16. Dedicate a song to him
If you like to sing, you can try singing him a song that you know he loves and if you are a skilled songwriter, you can even make up a quick song on your own.
If you are not musically inclined, you can just play him a song or request a song for him to be played on the radio. Make sure that he is tuned in or he will not know that you dedicated a song to him.
Here is a short list of apology songs out there:
-Sorry by Justin Bieber
-Apologize by One Republic
-Baby Come Back by Player
-If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher
-Hurt by Christina Aguilera
-Please Don’t Leave Me by P!nk
-Hello by Adele
-So Sorry by Feist
-Purple Rain by Prince
-All Apologies by Nirvana
-Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word by Elton John
-Picture by Kid Rock featuring Sheryl Crow
17. Spell it out for him
Get creative and spell out your apology to him. Use whatever you can to spell out the words “I’m sorry.” You can use food, flowers, household items, and so on.
Spell out your apology to your boyfriend with flowers, with board game pieces, whatever you have around that will work. He will appreciate the spontaneity of it and the effort.
18. Be self-deprecating
Sometimes he just wants to hear you admit what you did wrong. You can do that while being a little funny, as long as what you did was not too bad.
If you ate the last ice cream bar and he is upset you can joke about how bad your sweet tooth is. But if you flirted with another guy, you should not joke about that.
19. Plan a trip
While you should obviously apologize to your boyfriend if you have hurt him, it can also help if you make a big gesture to really cheer him up. Try to take him somewhere new.
If you can pull it off, think about planning a fun, romantic trip for the two of you. This does not necessarily have to be super fancy and it can even be a day trip or a road trip.
You can take him somewhere that you have already been together that you know you both love, or you can choose somewhere new.
20. Cook for him
They say that the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. After all, who can stay upset when they have good food in front of them?
Try cooking one of your boyfriend’s favorite dishes. When you cook for him, you will show how much you care and that you want to make him feel better.
21. Bake for him
Give your boyfriend a little sugar and spice to make him feel nice. Nothing quite says “I am sorry” like a freshly-baked tray of cookies or a tin of delicious pie.
22. Get him candy
Make it up to your boyfriend by being sweet to him. If he likes sugar, you can apologize in the form of his favorite candy. Just try to not to go too overboard, you don’t want to give him cavities either.
23. Tidy up the space
If you live together, then you can try to make your boyfriend feel better by picking up some of his chores. If he usually takes out the trash or does the dishes, you can do it for him this time to show that you are here for him.
24. Send him photos of adorable animals
How can he stay mad at you if you send him cute pictures of animals? Whether it’s a kitten in a mug or a dog with eyes that stare into your soul, those photos will warm your boyfriend’s heart.
25. Make him a list
Create a list of the top reasons why you love your boyfriend. When you are done with the list, give it to him to read.
After a fight with you, your boyfriend might find himself doubting the relationship and questioning why you are even with him.
Remind your boyfriend of your commitment to him with this list. The reasons that you love him may be obvious to you, but he needs to be reminded of your love for him and what it is about him that makes him so special in your eyes.
So think of why you love him. Is it the sound of his laugh? The way that he makes you smile without even trying? Do you love how generous or thoughtful he is?
What are your favorite things about him? His loyalty? His affection for you? Whatever comes to your mind first, put those things in your list. He will feel special knowing that he makes you feel this way.
26. Buy him flowers
Yes, even guys like flowers sometimes. If you know that he likes flowers, get him a bouquet or if he is more into gardening, you can get him a pot of flowers instead.
If your boyfriend does not particularly like flowers, then you can get him a nice plant, a bouquet of bacon (yes, it’s a thing), or a bouquet of new socks. Do not be afraid to get a little creative with the idea.
27. Give him a card
Cards are not always for a celebration or a special event. Sometimes you can give someone a card just to say that you are sorry.
If you have done something to really upset your boyfriend, then you can try to show how remorseful you are by giving him a card that has your apologies written on it.
You can buy a card or even make one yourself. It does not matter if you are artistic or not, or if you are good with words. What matters is that your heart is in the right place.
28. Get him a gift basket
Everyone loves a nice gift basket. Since he is your boyfriend and someone that you are close to, get him a gift basket that is personalized. Do not just throw in a random bottle of wine and a box of crackers. Make sure you put in things that he likes.