It’s quite the challenge to make your best friend your girlfriend. This is a life transition that very well could destroy a good thing if it’s not done right.
However, with the following expert pointers you will learn the exact moves to take your friendship to the next level!
No doubt one of the worst experiences in the world is being banished to the friend zone by a girl – Eek!
Often men get stuck deep in the friend zone because they don’t understand how women think and work. And when you learn a little about communicating with a woman, you will figure out crystal clear what you need to see if there is a chance to be more than friends with your now friend.
Everyone seems to be the expert when it comes to taking your friendship to the next level. Some tactics might work for you and others won’t. And when we dig a tad deeper into the psychology of it all, you get that much closer to the answers that will work for you.
Learn the basics to start and build from there because the more knowledge you have about natural attraction and how women think, the better.
What Is The Friend Zone?
The friend zone is a scenario where one person wants to be more than friends and the other person may or may not be aware of this. It becomes very difficult when nobody knows how to show their true feelings to each other.
In other words, if the guy really wants his friend to be his girlfriend and he doesn’t have the know-how to show her, that’s just trouble for everyone.
Make note that when two people are close together there are bound to be feelings developed. Some just like the physical closeness and others are looking for more romance. And when you get to know someone on a friend level, this just increases the odds of wanting more.
So How Come The “Friend Zone” Just Happens?
When you first understand why people wind up in this zone, it’s much easier to figure out how to get out for good.
Some people wind up in the friend zone because they are just too nice. When this happens, the girl might skip right past any of your hints for more because she is so secure in your friend relationship. Her mind probably isn’t open to anything more.
Any relationship involves negotiation and what you need to do in order to get out of the friend zone is to re-negotiate your relationship.
Much easier said than done I know.
You have to figure out how to ask for more from the other person than they are already giving you.
Here are a few tactics you can implement to help balance the scales in your relationship…
How To Make Your Best Friend Your Girlfriend
Technique #1 – Show Her Your Manly Confidence!
The number one quality a girl looks for in a man is confidence. Girls go crazy gaga when they see a man knows what he wants and is willing to communicate this. Having the ability to make a decision fast is a bright quality that will make or break you in the women department.
So if your “girl” friend asks you what movie you’d like to see, make sure you tell her specifically what you want to see. Don’t be wishy-washy and whatever you do make sure you don’t tell her “whatever you like is fine.”
When you are strong and decisive, this lets a girl know you have what it takes to stand the test of time if that is where the cards dictate. I’m going to leave it at that for now.
Technique #2 – Steer Clear Of The Clingy
If you are seriously looking to capture the undivided attention of your friend, to move it to the next level, you most certainly can’t be all over her.
Why?
It shows you are needy and suffocating, and have no other options. Harsh but true.
Girls like a strong man that has confidence in himself and doesn’t need a sweet thing beside him to validate him. That’s the truth stone cold.
If you really want your friend to be more than that, you will need to show her you are fine on your own but would love to have her by your side. It’s a fine line I know but whatever you do, please don’t be Mr. Clingy.
Give her some special attention and leave it at that, and you will get exactly what you want.
Technique #3 – Tell Her How You Feel
At some point you need to jump in with both feet, and let this girl you like know you are ready to make her your girl. You need to tell her that you want to be more than friends and more importantly you need to show her.
Either she is on board or she’s not.
Psychology Today experts say if you stay too close to someone as a “friend” without uncovering your romantic interest, you are risking them believing you will only ever be friends.
If you are really going to make her your girlfriend, you’ve got to have to take action to show her. Reach out and hold her hand, hug her extra long, or maybe just kiss her one night.
Don’t hold back or you just might be sorry.
Enough is never enough when it comes to proven tactics to sway your best friend to be your girl. Here are a few more techniques to take action with.
According to Self Growth experts, there are oodles of different sensible tactics you can exercise in order to let your present friend know you want so much more.
You may be suffering from a major headache right now if you are trying to swing your girl…friend, out of the friend zone and into girlfriend status.
Beware that falling head over heels for a friend is really quite normal and you need to understand that if it’s what you want then you really need to go for it.
So stop feeling sad or “cursed” about this and look for the bright side. Turn your tune optimistic please and good things will happen.
Technique #4 – Make Her Feel Special
When you want to shift from friend to more than friends, you are going to have to start changing your behavior towards her. Make her feel and see that you want to clearly be more than friends. That’s a good place to start.
Start acting a touch more flirty with her, possessive and protective. Remind her how special she is by telling her that she is pretty, smart and strong, you know what I’m getting at.
When you treat her differently and make her see you are acting differently around her, then you’ll open her mind to the romantic side of things, and that’s just plain magical.
Technique #5 – Try Not To Run To Her 24/7
When a guy is available 24/7 that’s a turn-off. It just means he has nothing better to do or he just plain lacks the confidence to know what he wants and how to get it.
Just think cheesy and you’re on the right track.
It’s VIP you make your friend miss you if you want them to open up to being romantic with you at some point. When she is consciously and unconsciously thinking of you, she is naturally going to miss you when you are nowhere to be found.
All you need to do is sneak away from time to time. This means you aren’t answering her calls or text messages either. Do whatever you need to in order make her curious what you are up to.
Technique #6 – Shoot The Compliments Unexpectedly
When a girl is flattered out of the blue, it catches her off guard and that works wonders for her confidence and curiosity. Women like surprises from time to time so don’t be afraid to hug her close, hold her hand, or tell what you love about her just because.
Practice being spontaneous and impulsive. You never know unless you try!
Technique #7 – Make It Habit To Send Her Nice Things
This is where you need to do a little creative thinking if you are going to successfully woo your friend to girlfriend status. Girls like gifts and they don’t have to be large and expensive. On the flip side, you might want to steer clear of the standard flowers and chocolates.
Take a vested interest in knowing what she likes and take advantage of having this wealth of insider information to wow her. This reminds her that you are paying attention and you want to make her smile from the inside out.
That’s just plain magical any way you look at it.
Technique #8 – Take A Stab At Grabbing Her Hand
If you are trying to show her you want more and she just doesn’t seem to be getting it, you might need to step it up a notch or three.
How about grabbing her hand?
This one will take a little guts and determination but it will give her the clear message that you don’t just want a friendship, that you want more.
Make sure you hold it for at least 3 seconds so she knows it’s not a “friendly” hand holding session. It’s worth a try, don’t you think?
Technique #9 – Decrease Your Interest In Her
When you show less interest in the things she is doing and saying , you will trigger the “want” from her. She’s going to want more because you are suddenly giving her less.
If you are being too needy, that means you are giving her too much and you’ll have a tough time convincing her you have value and that she should give you more.
Technique #10 – Manifest Competition – Even If It’s Fake
It’s important you let her know there is competition out there, other women that want you. Try going out with other friends that you are attracted to and expand your social network.
Then when you are ready, report back to her because in her mind you are just “friends,” right?
This one is a little sneaky but it does work wonders.
Technique #11 – Ensure They Have A Vested Interest In You
In order to do this, you need to convince her to do special things for you. Girls like doing favors for boys because it gives them special value.
Truth be told…The more they are investing in your relationship, the more they are going to want from you and that’s magical when you are trying to shift your relationship to the next level and beyond.
Technique #12 – Don’t Forget To Reward Her
Everyone wants to feel special, loved, and appreciated. So when your friend does things for you, make sure they know you appreciate it.
When you do this, you are once again creating the need for validation and attention, and that’s awesome when you want to be more than friends.
Encourage them to continue on with these behaviors and they’re going to get used to it fast. And when they do, you are opening the door of opportunity to become more than just buds with this special friend.
Final Words
When you are looking to make your friend your special other, there’s no easy or direct route. It’s going to be a bit of a trial and error process. However, when you use these proven tips, tricks and strategies you will be able to create your master plan to seal the deal.
Time for you to step up to the plate and take action to get what you want and deserve.
Noah says
So I have this friend her name is Maddie and I’m a sophomore (she’s a freshman). I am very not her but I’ve only known her a few days. I tried expressing my feelings to her and she shut me down she said she only wants to be friends and that she already has a lot of guy friends that have asked her out she also said she doesn’t have the time to be in a relationship. What do I do to show her I want to be more than just friends and to convince her to change her mind? Email for reply’s thanks for all your help.
Kate says
Hi Noah,
You probably were expressing your feelings to her too soon. You can try some of the tips mentioned in this article to win her over. However, it’s a tricky situation and she may just not be interested in you.
Jessica says
Hi Noah just tell that you just want to be friends
Rusty says
Dude… This Kate seems to understand you better . Why don’t you ask her out ? 😂
Devesh says
Hi Noah
Just tell her that you want to be her best friend and want to share every thing with her every secret of your life and every experience of your life and do something extraordinary for him.
Do something which make her propose you.
Prashant says
I had this friend but because of my one mistake i lost her friendship day before yesterday …. it was her birthday on 28th and i just called her to now here she was … she replied that she is at her friend’s home …. i just wanted to see her with my eyes that where she was so i reached her friend’s house … she saw me there and the expression which she gave was a perfect sign that she didn’t liked this ….we both had a fight yesterday on my this behaviour …. i must tell you that we both were very very best friends …. we used to talk a lot … we both used share our feelings with each other …. we were very very important for each other …. she never felt bad when i used to hold her hand rather she felt good … when we used to hug she never felt bad …..
But know she is angry ……
She thinks that i have become over possessive towards her ….
She didn’t liked my such behaviour when i reached her friend’s house …….
Now i want her back ….
What should i do now ?????
Please reply me fast ….. its a request …..
Kate says
Hi, let her cool down and then apologize to her for showing up at her friend’s house and everything else you’ve made her upset about. Also, give her some space and try not to be too obsessed with her.
Prashant says
Hi kate …. its sorted up now …. but the problem is that she is not happy ….now she don’t look at me in the way she used to …. all her charm is lost ….the happiness which was between us is robbed …..
We will be meeting today at 12:30 am …. i hope nothing goes wrong ……
Seriously, kate i am missing her charm her happiness …..
Please favour me that what should i do now to make our bonding more stronger and stronger ….
Sorry i forgot to tell her name … her name is Akshita …..
And believe me she is very cute ….
Kate says
Hi, has she told you why she is unhappy now? Is this because she thinks you are too obsessive or is there another reason? Ask her what would make her happier.
Prashant says
Hi kate, she was sad for just a day …. Now she is very happy … she has forgotten everything which happened between us … now our friendship has become very strong after that incident ….. now we talk a lot … fight a lot like kids … even we beat each other just for fun ….. its moving on smoothly ….. we have also started going to public places like malls together …… and you suggested that i should ask her about the reason of her unhappiness so let me answer you that there was no reason for her unusual behaviour rather it was just the thing which i did that was pinching her….. now she is alright ….. much happier than ever before …..
Thank you so much for your guidance …..
And i just wanted to ask that can i share anything which may happen with me in future ??????
Kate says
I’m glad things have worked out for you guys. Yes, you can share it here in the future. Good luck!
Rafiullah says
Ilove you
Prashant says
Hi … its sorted up …. but the problem is that she is not happy …. now she don’t looks at me in the manner she used to do …. though she has started sharing her things and feelings again but that happiness is robbed which was between us …… today i will be meeting her by 12:30 am ….. i hope nothing goes wrong …. Please do me a favour that how can i make our bonding stronger and stronger …..
Kevin says
Hi Kate
My best friend Emma and I have known each other for 5 years. And we have been close for the past year. She has had some bumps in her life that I rather not get into but her last bump was last summer which she lied to me about somethings. But she said her feelings for me was never a lie. We talked things out and we are best friends and closer then before but she hasn’t told me everything. And I have told her how I feel about her. She has said for right now she needs to figure things out and for right now she may change her mind about taking us to the next level. But on the other hand she also said that’s we wouldn’t be good for each other. Don’t know what I really should do.
Kate says
Perhaps, give her some time to figure things out.
Kevin says
It took us 5 years to be best friends so just continue being best friends and be there for her.
Kate says
You can try to pursue her but if she has said she doesn’t want to take things to the next level, then she might just want to be friends with you.
Kevin says
People that know both of us has told us that we would be great together. But as you said give her time to see what happens.
TriDeca says
Hi Kate,
i have a friend who ive known for 5 years, and even though i dont see her often we chat and call all the time. Recently i have been ‘upgraded’ to best friend because apparently im the only guy who acts like a genuine friend with no ulterior motives unlike other guys who come to her. I have been not showing any signs because her previous relationship ended really bad and i wanted her to recover first since i was with her during the whole ‘recovery’ process.
How do show her i like her more but not in a way that makes her think that was my idea through this whole relationship because that might make her not trust me anymore. If possible i would like to know how to do this through texts or calls since currently its hard to meet her?
Kate says
You can text her and tell her how you feel. You can tell her that you’ve developed feelings for her and would love to be more than friends.
Anshuman says
Hi. I have a best friend and her name is Sonali. I have known her since 2 years now. She also has a boyfriend. I could understand that choosing between a boyfriend and best friend is hard but what’s surprising is that the kind of deep things I know about her, her boyfriend doesn’t know about them. Now it’s been more than 7 months since I’ve had romantic feelings for her but I’m unable to express it to her because she doesn’t want to end her relation with her boyfriend. The thing is that her boyfriend doesn’t even respect her, but I have been with her through her ups and downs most of the time. But I’m unable to know what she feels about me. I had already told her about my feelings for her but she isn’t ready to leave her boyfriend. How do I convince her that I can be a better partner to her than her boyfriend? Please help!
Kate says
If she’s in love with her boyfriend, it’s going to be very hard for you to convince her. She wants to be with him not you. Just be there for her and be her friend right now. If he doesn’t respect her, perhaps the relationship will not last anyways and then you’ll have a better chance to make your move.
MAGALA EMMANUEL PASCAL says
Thank To U All
Godric says
I have a best friend her names are Linda Kats ,she has been a real friend for 2years but right now I have picked interested in her to be my girl lover but I normally fear to tell her, I even call her she come but I fail to tell her the main issue until she leaves. So my question ,what should I do because I really feel and love her???? For sure I need help coz time has gone..
Osaro says
Hi! Kate , I have a female friend of 16 years of aged , she gave me sign of a romance then I was acting like a pastor . She gave up on me and put me in friends zone, she actually said she will be my bestman, i felt pretty bad unnoticed on my face, latter in life I developed filling for her but this time she is preaching to me. But believe me she got a boyfriend out there which is no problems at all. All I want is second chance and most importantly I am older than her for 10 years but we are still friends because I failed in the beginning partly because of my religious and law. I love her. What can I do. But her mum, brother and sister are aware of our closeness.
gerald says
I have a workmate her name is Ann. She was my seatmate by the way, we shared a lot of funny story and sad story as well, we were like story buddy.. Before I only treat her as a friend. there was a time I look for another seat beside my male friend you know to talk about manly things she asked me to stay beside her but I said it’s gonna be fine you can talk to our other workmate (I thought it didn’t matter to her) that day past alright..
After sometime noticed that she’s ignoring me and even avoiding me, I didn’t really care that time but after a while I started to feel that I missed her and perhaps love her, so I apologized and asked if we can be friends again and luckily she forgave me.
I didn’t want to lose that chance she had given to me so so I treat like my girlfriend… Asking her for friendly date, be with her during our break time and lunch, waiting for her before our shift starts, sending her to the bus station, I was like a 24/7 buddy
But lately I noticed that there are times that she is ignoring me and even asking me to stop waiting for her and accompanying her to the bus station… Yesterday even though I was just beside her she ignored me but she talked to our other workmates they had great conversation they were laughing and I was like an invisible person there, I tried to reach her out but the only words that come out from her mouth is “tsk”
.. During our lunch she literally avoided me but she took her lunch with our other friends she was so happy and I was so jealous.
Please help
Prashant says
Hi kate !!!
Remember me ??
Its Prashant …
I hope you remember me as i have already discussed about a problem before in the month of may,2018 …..
Since then things were going flawlessly , akshita and i were very happy with our relationship and we recognised that both of us are indispensable for each other ….
But now another problem is arised …
Akshita’s parents have found few of my messages in her phone and now they are very angry with her such activity …. They don’t want her to live her life with me instead her mother ordered her not to even have a glance towards me …
Now her parents don’t trust her anymore and they have taken all of her freedom …. This incident took place on 3rd of january i.e. yesterday ….
Both of us can’t live without each other … Actually the thing is that we both love each other ….
Please tell me what should she do now ??
And even what should i do know ??
Ken says
This is where you must be strong Prashant and Love her more with goodwill. If you’re both in love she will be feeling the same or more since her freedom is affected.
It’s now that the strong friend you are HAS to be more important than the lover. You have to be my her side in mind, and advise her like the best friend you are.
Tell her to be strong, that you’ll always be there for her how ever she chooses even if things go south (That is real friendship even beyond love btw spouses even). Let her know how strong she is to endure this tough times and keep giving her strength.
Show her that even in her most difficult times you are a steadfast loyal compassionate companion (the same loyalty of a dog) and will not give up on her – because that’s what best friends do.
Talk to her parents not about your love. Let them know that yes you love her But, what’s more important is that “my best friend is happy. And I trust her to make the best choices for herself. I will be there for her if it’s good for her, because I care as much as you do about her wellbeing. I will be here for her because I want her to be Happy, Free, Safe and loved when she’s down. If your decision for her is for her good, I will be Happy for you and her. That’s all I care about for her. That’s my friendship for her sir/mdm”.
Laxmid says
These r not happening dude… What to do…… Idea 💡 something vibrant
Jacob says
Hey I have this best friend her name is Alison and I like her but I don’t know how to tell her, I know she used to like me but I did not tell her how I felt and I feel like I’m going to lose her to another guy please answer
Jim says
sry I was so late. Tell her how you feel and FAST! This guy, if she likes him, CAN and WILL take her FAST! Express your emotions. She will think you are the bigger guy in the situation.
Tyler says
I have this friend named Nally, she is a senior and I am a Junior. when we first met conversation was kinda awkward, then she told me she had a boyfriend and I didn’t even bring up the subject, but then she said “well he’s kinda my boyfriend… It’s complicated.” Ever since then I’ve watched her go through several relationships and have her heart broken. We’ve been good friends for a few months now, we relate a lot to each other, we share the same interests and she is practically me but not, if that makes sense. So, these past few months I have helped her when she got sick and she helped me when I got sick, She reminded me that she thought of me as a friend a couple months ago. But when I told her that I care a lot and I love about my friends in general, so I don’t single her out because she doesn’t like that, she thinks it’s creepy or weird. I don’t want to confess my love to her because she will think I’m creepy and we will lose our already good friendship. But I love her a lot and I want her to fall in love with me. So i decided to get closer to her and we started chatting more via email. after I got back from being sick she gave me a hug, this showed me that she cares about me. she doesn’t like to hear sad stories but she is interested in paranormal stuff and we connect to that on a personal level, so I told her some stuff that has been happening to me and asked her for her help. I also asked If my depression could have lead to this manifestation. She never replied so I figured she didn’t read it or didn’t get it, so I brought it up in class and she said that se got it but she hasn’t been talking to me or replying to my emails. What do I do? it seems that these days, she is all I care about. she is the one and I know it, but I’m not gonna risk losing her, so can anyone help me win her back, or make her love me more because I don’t want to lose her and if it’s not meant to be, I’m okay with us staying friends. please help.
Roni ND says
My best freind Carolin we have been freinds for 4 years we are so close and i am afraid to make any of the steps and lose her because she means everything to me and i dont know how to express my feeling without making her get mad because i dont want her to stop talking to me Help. 😔
Akash says
What to do when she is not even convincing to be more than friend.
That can hurt you from inside and then you can’t implies all these things. In this Case it will look like she is needy to you and you can’t live without you. And it might has some bad effects on you. So tell me what should I do if all these things are being with me.
Blessing says
Hi
Well my childhood friend just told me he as feelings for me… And I literally don’t know Wat to do…
martin says
what if you dated her best friend?
Paige says
Hello, my name is Paige and me and my best friend are really close and have been best friend’s for over a year we are both the girls and we were straight but one night we had done something in my house and I came out bi and I fell in love with her and Thursday she came out bi to her other friend and told her she likes me too and Friday night she had told me she likes me and that she is also bi and she’s liked me for months but Kept telling herself she was straight thats why she didn’t tell me sooner at this point we Were both aware we liked another and I am willing to give it a go bit she doesn’t want to as she is scared if we split she will lose the friendship we have now can you please help me prove to her it’s a good idea as I think we’re best friend’s it will make is stronger and I love her and don’t see myself with anyone else I just need help in convincing her to give it a try and not worry about losing me because no matter what happens I am not going to let myself loose her. Do you think it’s worth ago?
Gavin says
So,I messed up. Bad. I lashed out at her for acting out,and when I lash I LASH. She accepted my apologies,but now she seems…removed. is there any way I can make her happy again,how she used to be?
zekias says
Hi ,I’ve got friend of my for more than 2 yrs we used to share everything and to help each other but now i don’t know how to tell her that i have feelings for her now since our friendship is too deep she can even come to my room when I’m drinking then we drink together both of our parents knows that we are friends but shes three years older to me and she dont even show her feelings ….tactics to confirm is what can i do to tell her that i love you
Kwasi says
My best female friend got angry with me because I couldn’t show up on her birthday…..buh I wished her and got her a gift….buh she stopped picking my calls for about a week….and when I gave her time to cool down, now the love we shared isn’t there anymore, she seem not to care about me anymore…she doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore…..everything has just dropped from 1000 to zero after her birthday……I’m the guy she would like to be with all the time but she has changed totally…..now we are like strangers to each other…please what can I do to win her back….please help me fast…thank you 🖤
Joseph says
Hi Kate,
I am in love with my dear friend. I expressed my feelings to her and she said she just want to be friends and she also sees me as a brother. But I am so much in to her. What should I do?
Ajani sheriff says
Hi, I had my bestie 4yrs back now,and still don’t know how to talk to her about my feelings,cos when we are together she keeps cuddling up to me and sometimes not.So still unsure about her feelings to me cos I really do love her a lot and would love to make her my girl.
Kindly help out…