If you are reading this, then you must have recently had a breakup that you wish did not have to happen. A breakup can be very hard to deal with, especially when you feel like you were not ready to end things. Don’t worry, here we have listed numerous steps on how to make your ex want you back.
There are many reasons why a relationship might end and you might know exactly what went wrong or maybe you are still searching for some answers so you can make sense of things. You are probably going through a wide range emotions. From sadness and loneliness to confusion and despair, breakups are really tough.
But what should you do if you want your ex back? In this case, following your first instincts can be risky. After a breakup, remember that you do not want to do anything rash, even if your emotions are very strong right now. You need to take a step back to assess the situation that you are currently in.
If there is any hope that the relationship can be rekindled, then there are some things that you can try to do. Whether you just broke up with your ex or have been apart for a while, below are some tips on how to win your ex and make them want you back.
How To Make Your Ex Want You Back
Get Some Space
The first thing you will want to do after a breakup is get some space, no matter how badly you want to get together. This might seem counterintuitive to you, but ultimately this piece of advice makes a lot of sense. After the breakup, you might feel angry, sad, devastated, confused, lost, or a mixture of many feelings all at once. This is all the more reason to get space and to spend time away from your ex.
At the same time, do not take this as a suggestion to be mean to your ex, no matter how badly you might be feeling. You can still be polite to your ex if you run into that person, but you should also remember that you are no longer together.
Taking time away from your ex is crucial, it will enable you to get a clear head. You will be able to step back and see where the relationship got wrong and you will also get some badly needed time just for yourself.
Apart from being able to clear your head and taking time to figure out what went wrong, getting space from your ex has other benefits. You are single once again.
Being single again and having time to yourself means that you can make yourself a priority again. You can figure out what your interests are and pursue them. You can also just treat yourself and relax alone without having to worry about pleasing.
While you might have the urge to let your ex know that you are still interested in getting back together, that is almost never a good idea and you will risk coming off as too obsessive and needy. This is another big reason why it is important to get some space from your ex. You do not want to be too aggressive at this emotional time. Allow yourself and your ex to have the time apart that you need in order to help you move on.
You might be confused about the idea of moving on from a breakup, especially if you are still interested in reuniting with your ex. It is often very difficult, to have a healthy relationship again with your ex if you have not taken a step back to figure out what went wrong.
If you just continue things the way they are, then the relationship might still have a lot of issues that will inevitably have to be worked out in order for the relationship to be successful. So even if you want to get back with your ex, you want to move forward instead of staying stuck in the same place.
Getting some time and space by yourself really does mean leaving your ex alone for a little bit. In many breakups that are not mutually agreed on, one person will bombard the other person with calls, text messages, and desperate pleas for another chance.
When you have just had a breakup, it is easy to see why it might be seen as a profession of one’s love and devotion. At the same time, breakups happen for a reason, and being desperate and needy will not help the situation in most cases.
If you are constantly harassing your ex after a breakup, there is a chance that your ex will feel unsafe and then they might not want to see you again at all. This is why it is important to keep calm, even though breakups can be very difficult. You will want to show your ex that you are capable of respecting their feelings, boundaries, and wishes at the time.
At the same time, this does not mean that you have to just give up on hopes of rekindling the relationship. But it is important to acknowledge and show respect for what your ex is going through. After all, the breakup happened for a reason.
Be Happy By Yourself
Think about this question and answer honestly. Can you be happy by yourself or do you feel like your happiness tends to depend on other people?
Sure, you love your ex and miss them. But sometimes relationships can crumble when we depend too much on our significant others. If you are not happy with your own self, then your own issues can affect your significant other and it can pose a threat to your relationship.
This is why it is good to get some alone time. Before you even think about talking to your ex again, you will want to make sure that you can be happy alone. Do not fool yourself into thinking that another person can cure your unhappiness and fix all of your problems. Only you, yourself can do that.
There are some people who cannot stand to be single or alone. It is healthier to find ways to enjoy being alone as this gives you time to take care of yourself. If you convince yourself that you can only be happy with your ex, then you will be putting too much pressure on that person, which is unfair and unrealistic.
When you enjoy spending time alone and can go days without always having someone by your side, then you might be ready to take steps towards talking to your ex again.
Know Why Things Ended
Why did things end? At the end of a relationship, some people know exactly what the issue was. Others will not know and they end up having to figure it out themselves.
Before you immediately ask your ex what went wrong, take some time to reflect about the relationship that you had. There are many reasons why a relationship ends. Two big reasons can be lack of proper communication and a lack of respect.
On the other hand, sometimes there are reasons that cannot be fixed, such as not returning the same feelings for the other person or wanting a person who is different. While you and your ex can work on your actions and how you communicate and treat each other, you also must know that you cannot force people to be completely different, especially if that is not who they really are.
Since you should not be contacting your ex at first, try to reflect on the clues you have as to why the relationship did not work out. Did your ex express being unhappy? Did you argue and disagree a lot?
Maybe you did not prioritize each other enough or maybe you were too dependent on one another. These are just some reasons why a relationship might end. Take the time to figure it out and see if you are willing to work on your issues if you and your ex do get back together.
Have a Plan
Going back into a relationship can pose a lot of questions. What is the appropriate way to act? When heading back into a relationship that previously ended, it is important to set some goals and boundaries.
Try to ask yourself some of these questions if you can. What do you want to avoid if you get back together with your ex? What might be some healthy boundaries for the two of you to enforce so you can have a much healthier and happier relationship the second time around?
Be resolved to move forward together and work as a team to plan your new future together. Remember that it is good to talk things slow when getting back into a relationship.
It is often a good rule of thumb to avoid rushing into physical intimacy. Before you do that, you might want to figure out your emotions first and you will also want to talk things out with your ex to make sure that you are on the same page.
If you rush into physical intimacy, for all you know, your ex might mistake this for a one-time fling. That is why it is good to be cautious and to communicate effectively before you rush back into things.
Also, if you get back into the relationship slowly, you will know that you are both heading into this with clear heads and you will both be more sure about the relationship.
Don’t Make the Same Mistakes
Even if you do manage to get back together with your ex, it will all be fruitless if you just go on to make the same mistakes that were previously made in the relationship. This is why it really helps to know what was wrong with the relationship.
If you know what went bad in the relationship, then you can take action to prevent those things from happening again. While old habits die hard, if you are both really meant to be together, the hard work will be well worth it. You can even consider counseling if you both think that it is necessary and could be helpful.
Part of this involves knowing what priorities to have. In your relationship, did the two of you make the mistake of not making enough time for each other? Or did you not communicate enough? Whatever your issues were, figure them out and head into your rekindled relationship with better priorities.
Have Quality “Me” Time
After your breakup is the perfect time for you to rediscover yourself. Ask yourself who you are outside of your relationship. What are your interests and what do you feel like doing? Do what interests you and take care of yourself during this hard time. From getting a new hairdo or a massage or doing some meditation, there are many ways for you to take care of yourself.
Remember that even though you want to get back with your ex, self-care is a very important act that will boost your confidence and sense of self-worth among other many positive things.
Get His Attention Again
While you might be tempted to contact your ex regularly, that is not the best idea. If you are always texting or calling him to try to win him back, then he will know that you are at his beck and call.
But if you give him space, then he will notice that you are not around anymore and if he still misses you, then he will wonder what you are up to. If he really still does have feelings for you, he will notice your absence and he will miss you.
If you do make plans to meet up with your ex, do not seem way too eager, especially when you are just starting to hang out again. Just act casual and avoid saying or doing anything that will come off as desperate. Desperation is not attractive, but a calm demeanor is.
When you do hang out with your ex again, leave them wanting more. That way there will be something to look forward to. Do not hang out together for days on end. Instead, take it slow. There is a saying that “absence makes the heart grow founder.”
Make Him Jealous
This tip is not for everyone. Some people have exes who are not the jealous type or maybe you are just not interested in making your ex jealous.
For others though, seeing your ex jealous of your new significant other is a sign that they are still not completely over you. Avoid doing this if you are in a relationship with someone. The person you use to make your ex jealous should just be someone that you are not serious with, not someone who you are in a committed relationship with.
Here are some ways to make your ex jealous. If there is an event that you are both attending, bring a date with you or even a cute friend who will be chatting to you the whole time and giving them compliments.
Another way to make your ex jealous is to post pictures on social media of you and another person hanging out. You and this person might just be friends, but if your ex gets jealous, they might think that this is a potential love interest for you.
Going on casual dates with people might also make your ex jealous. Remember that these should be casual, fun dates. You do not want to string two people along at the same time because you will end up with two people whose feelings have been hurt.
Here is a way to make your ex jealous without using any other people at all. Just show your ex on social media that you are doing okay. Do not talk about the breakup on social media and act happy. In fact, try to be genuinely happy in spite of the breakup. At the same time, do not overdo it with fake happiness because people will see right through you if you try way too hard.
Knowing how to contact your ex after a breakup can be tricky. Do not open with a message that is romantic and don’t go asking for him to get back together with you either. Instead, be subtle and be positive with your words.
For instance, you can send him a casual text if you see something that reminds you of him. Even though you are initiating contact, do not go overboard. You should still try to maintain a safe distance from your ex because you do not want to come on too strong.
If your ex is willing and you have been casually talking, then you can suggest that the two of you meet up together so you can catch up. You can meet for coffee or for a drink. When you are hanging out, try to send out positive energy. If you are still bitter or upset about the breakup, then he/she will probably be able to tell and that will kill the mood.
When you have a positive attitude, your ex will be more likely to enjoy your company. He might even want to hang out again soon. Be genuinely interested in his life and what he has to say. If your ex feels like they can have fun with you, be relaxed in your presence, then you have some good signs that your relationship could be salvageable.
In keeping a positive and upbeat attitude, your ex might be reminded of how enjoyable your company is. If your ex is reminded of all the good things, then there is a chance that they might believe that you can resolve the things that caused you to break up, therefore making it possible for you to get back together again.
Leave Things in the Past
It is not a bad idea to talk a little bit about what went wrong and how things will be different if you and your ex get back together again. But do not bring up the past over and over again, otherwise it will be hard for the two of you to move on. Remember, you want to move forwards instead of staying stuck in the past.
If enough time has passed, then it is possible that you and your ex tried to date other people. Try to avoid talking about what you did with other people while you were apart. Again, that is the past and you want to focus on your future together instead.
Even if you feel curious, you really do not want to know what your ex has been up to since you broke up. Generally, what they were doing when you were not together is none of your business. And you do not need to really tell them if you dated when you were apart either.
Talking too much about what you did while apart can have the potential to bring up feelings of resentment and jealousy. So if you do talk about it, tread very carefully. The last thing you want to do is create a new problem, especially if you have just gotten back together as a couple.
These are just a few steps for you to consider when you are trying to figure out how to make your ex want you back. Keep in mind that you cannot force your ex to have feelings that are no longer there. While you cannot force the situation, in some cases a failed relationship might still have some glimmers of hope.
If there is hope, then you can take the necessary steps to make your ex get back with you. Getting back with your ex is not always simple. It will require some time apart, self-reflection, self-care, and teamwork. If one of you is not completely in this, then it will not work.
Even though you want to get your ex back, remember that it is not always possible. All we can really do is try our best and ultimately accept things for what they are. As long as you have yourself, you will be great.