How to start a conversation with a girl? Girls are complex and if you throw in a little nervous insecurity, that’s enough to cause a guy to worry. And when it comes to talking to girls you don’t know, winging it isn’t usually a smooth move.
It doesn’t matter who you are because every guy on the planet has been in the awkward position before or not knowing how to speak to a girl he doesn’t know.
You see a pretty girl and want to start chatting but you are too nervous to do anything.
No worries, here are a few pointers to help you strike up a conversation with that girl you don’t know, and come out on top!
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl
Pointer One – Look at her face
Don’t look down, around the room, or worse yet at her chest! If you’re caught checking out her body, she might think you’re a big flirt. Engage in genuine eye contact and make sure all eyes are on her face.
Pointer Two – Start by simply smiling and say hi
A smiles speaks a thousand words when you are nervous about talking to a girl you don’t know. And there’s no worries about getting tongue tied if you are only saying hi to start.
This is communicating to her that you would like to engage in some sort of conversation – Magical.
Pointer Three – Knock it off scaredy pants!
You’ve seriously got nothing to lose here so don’t let your mind go crazy and start getting all hesitant and negative. If she doesn’t like you back, that’s okay. There really is only gain here when you think about it.
Figure out an excuse to ask her a question and go from there. Maybe you could ask her the time or if she could watch your things for a second while you scoot to the bathroom.
Bottom line is you have nothing to be scared about.
Pointer Four – Make sure you are on top of your hygiene
Good hygiene is a no-brainer when it comes to meeting girls and dating. Nobody wants to be around a stink-bomb! And chances are, this girl isn’t going to want to be anywhere near you if you are wearing dirty clothes and your hair is greasy – Yuk!
Wash your face, comb your hair, put on deodorant and cologne, brush your teeth etc. You know the drill and if you don’t, I suggest strongly you head back to grade school health class.
Pointer Five – Take a chill pill
Nerves often get the best of us and it’s important when you are looking to meet a new girl that you take control of your nerves and show them who’s boss.
Mind over matter here.
Slow down your talk speed. Ask the questions that are natural and non-judgmental. Show her you are confident in your skin even if you aren’t.
These are things you’re going to have to work, where practice doesn’t make perfect but it will make you better.
Pointer Six – Focus on the eye contact when you’re engaging in conversation
This is a tough one up front but the more you do it, the easier and more natural it becomes. Girls love it when a guy pays attention to them and not everything else going on around them. Eye contact communicates this beyond the shadow of a doubt.
Keep it natural, warm and inviting and you’ll do just fine.
Pointer Seven – Practice engaging in situational conversations, according to Cosmopolitan
What this means is that you have the ability to talk about what’s actually going on in the now. It might be the weather or something that just happened on the news. Whatever it is, make sure you speak with an open confidence and ask her what she thinks.
No girl wants a know-it-all guy that thinks only about himself.
Start the conversation and learn to throw it gently in her court with questions. You do want to hear what she has to say right?
Pointer Eight – Knock it off with the flirts
That’s just cheap any way you slice it. A girl does not want to hear a guy talking about how gorgeous she is right off the hop. Yes, a girl loves compliments but she always wants to feel wanted for reasons other than her large chest or curvaceous curves.
Hope that makes sense boys!
This is where you’ve got to take the bull by the horns and makes sure you don’t lay it on too thick. Be gentle please.
Pointer Nine – Girls want you to be clear-cut honest
It’s VIP that you portray yourself as being almost overly optimistic. You want her to feel your positive energy flowing and she will play off of that.
Don’t use the word hate and make sure you check your negative emotion at the door. If you detest something you might want to say, “I’d rather avoid it.”
Pointer Ten – Get set for an unusual response
Girls aren’t dumb and they are going to want to get to know how you’ll act and behave in different situations. So get ready for the unexpected, it will come.
Pointer Eleven – You’re always your worst critic
No matter what, at some point, a girl is going to talk about what she doesn’t like about herself and you’ve got to be armed and ready to diffuse the situation fast. Tell her she is wrong and use sensible examples to prove her thinking otherwise.
You need to be reassuring and convincing here. And if you have to take the focus off of what bugs her, like her thick thighs, and tell how beautiful her long hair is. Just be positive and genuine in what you say.
My grandmother always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say zip it!”
Pointer Twelve – When she is obviously trying to avoid you, leave her be
The last thing you want to do is chase a girl that might not like you. In many cases, she’s just testing you but you need to show her you’ve got the confidence to walk away if the feeling isn’t mutual.
Fact – You become a wanted man when you can ignore. In general, most of the girls that play this game always come back around eventually. There really is no rush right?
Pointer Thirteen – Hopefully you are a funny guy
Girls love a guy that can make them laugh. Laughter is the best medicine!
Pay attention to her triggers and how you can make her smile and laugh. Don’t get too silly and overdo it or she won’t take you seriously.
And you’ve got nothing to worry about.
Pointer Fourteen – A little mystery never hurt anybody
When you are trying to capture the action of a girl by starting a conversation it’s always good to leave a little to the imagination.
Newsflash – Girls are attracted to mysterious. Even better, if you’re a little bit shy you might find your courageous card easier. Something to think about anyway.
Pointer Fifteen – Pay her compliments but take it easy
A girl always loves to hear a compliment but you need to make sure it’s not too “in her face.” Using strong words like sexy, hot, sizzling, you might make her a little nervous.
Don’t be afraid to tell her what you like about her but make sure you are genuine and sincere – All good.
These are a few key take action starter pointers for talking to a girl you don’t know yet.
Wake Up Boys – Things You Should Never Ever Say To A Girl
If you want to send a girl running far and fast the other way by all means go ahead. Here are a few simple and easily remembered things you should never say to a girl…just don’t please!
You’re looking really whipped
Are you crazy? Don’t ever tell any girl she looks tired, even if she does. She’ll likely thank you for reminding her how crappy she looks and that’s going to make her feel that much worse.
Please don’t take this the wrong way…
Are you kidding me? What other way do you think she’s going to take it? This is negative and that means there’s only going to be a negative outcome. Smarten up and just don’t venture here if you want to get to know any girl.
You know what? You make me think of my mom
Really? Pretty sure your mom is a heck of a lot older and probably fatter than me, no offence. If you are going to say this to a girl, you want her gone. Pretty straight forward.
Did you just get your period?
Ouch! That’s a comment made for battle. Guys have no idea what it’s like to have your hormones get crazy every month, month after month after month. Again, this is another negative and nothing good will come from saying it.
Your best bet is to keep your thoughts inside where they belong, inside your head.
Is that what you’re wearing?
Well, I was feeling good until now. Obviously, I’m not wearing the perfect dress I love anymore. What? Do you think it makes me look fat?
Now you are going to have to wait until I find something a little more appropriate. Too bad for you and your big mouth!
Well you might be able to fit into this outfit
Huh? So what do you mean by that? Am I fat? Is that what you are saying?
Oh boy, you’re on your own if you ever utter those words to a girl and think you’re going to get away with it.
Your sister is so sexy hot!
Well, that’s really going to make her feel good about herself. Taboo number one is to have the guy you’re with focused on your sister. Best not ever to go there, just saying.
Your face really is pretty
Again, the girl is going to be pondering why it’s only her face you are complimenting. Does that mean you don’t like anything else? Eek…just don’t go there.
If you want to tell her she has a pretty face, you better tell her all the other physical features you love about her.
I think your hair looks so much better longer
Really? Since when do I need to do my hair the way you like? Many women are very sensitive or particular about their hair and that makes it ultra important that you DO NOT make a comment like that, unless you are looking for trouble.
Now if she asks you specifically how you like her hair, that’s another story.
You’re still eating
Make up your mind boys! One minute you’re telling her she eats like a rabbit and the next you are making fun of her because she’s feeling hungry.
Unfortunately, the world seems to revolve around food and usually for the wrong reasons. Psychologists report that we eat for oodles of reasons outside of the fact we need energy to keep our mind and body working.
There’s social eating when we go out with friends and family.
There’s emotional eating when we are upset because we got dumped or just feeling depressed.
You should be happy your girl is eating – Period.
How come you’re having a spas-out?
Talk about adding fuel to the fire. Are women not allowed to get emotional and blow off steam? Better than keeping it bottled up inside, don’t you think?
All that’s going to do is set her up to really blow her lid. If you want to see a real freak out, just say what’s in your brain.
You wore that last time we went out, didn’t you?
Yikes! This is setting yourself up for trouble. Sure, she might have, but so what? It’s not illegal to wear an outfit more than once. Maybe she feels good in it or thought you really liked it too? Perhaps she was doing it for you?
Regardless, just don’t go down that road please.
How come you’re always asking a zillion questions?
Did you ever think maybe she’s asking them because she cares and is genuinely curious? Or perhaps you just suck at answering questions so she’s got to keep on asking them till she gets a valid response?
Just don’t ask please.
Not sure that I trust what you’re making
Again, why in the world would you say this even if it is true? It’s negative and if she happens to be sensitive in the maternal instinct department, you’re going get yourself into hot water.
She might just put the wall up and tell you don’t bother eating it at all. Not a smooth move.
It’s true, it’s got nothing to do you with you, it’s me
Very funny, don’t ever go there. This is one of the most overused phrases in the dating world. Essentially, it means you are done with her for whatever reason and want to try and remove the guilt from the situation.
Are those extensions?
Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t! Does it really matter? Most girls that get their hair done, want it to look natural and really don’t want to be asked whether or not it’s real.
She’s going to be offended, steer clear of this question.
I’m just joking around so don’t get ticked off
Well, it’s safe to say if she’s mad, she didn’t find what you said very funny. It’s not even about what you said, it’s about you not respecting her feelings. Who are you to tell her if something should hurt her or not?
Stop and think before you open your mouth.
Are you really sick?
This one can be taken two ways. You might seem like you are questioning the validity of her sickness. Not a smooth move.
Secondly, you might be suggesting she’s sick and if you happen to get sick, you’re going to blame it on her. Like if she’s coughing or sniffling a little.
You really are crazy aren’t you?
Well, that’s a really dumb thing to say because if it’s true, you really are in deep trouble. It’s really an insensitive thing to say so do yourself a favor and just don’t say it…not ever please.
Seems like you are loaded with feelings
Feelings are a good thing aren’t they? And if they aren’t expressed from time to time, they’ll get bottled up and one day they’ll explode. A positive that was delivered as a negative.
Relax…Take a chill pill
Talk about hitting the nail on the head. When someone is trying to keep control of their emotions and you tell them to relax or calm down, you are openly making it very hard for them to stay in control.
There’s just something about the “relax” and “calm down” that make women mad. And when they are mad, they are going to get emotional and that’s when you’re in trouble.
Have you weighed yourself lately?
One thing a guy should never comment on is a girl’s weight or size. She will think the worst, no matter how sweet your intentions are.
Steer clear of the above and you might actually have a good shot at striking up a conversation with a girl and making the perfect connection.
Here’s how you can talk to a girl so they are attracted to you
Focus only on her
A girl wants to feel special and she wants your undivided attention, according to experts at Tango. If a girl wants to talk to you, she will and it’s not at all about you, it’s all about her.
Be confident in your skin and be comfy around women in general. She can “feel” whether or not you are trying to remember the next question, or if you are even listening to what she’s saying.
Introverts have a tough time with women in general. Find your comfort zone and make it all about her.
Ask the questions with an open-end
When you ask a question that’s not open, you are stifling the conversation and not opening the door for her to partake. She’s not going to feel comfortable when it’s difficult for her to talk about anything.
You need to set the stage by asking questions using where, why, how and when. You’re asking these questions because you want to know what she’s thinking and feeling about something.
Get prepared beforehand and have a few clever open-ended questions up your sleeve before you meet with her. It’ll do you good!
Just be you
Acting is tough and so many of us go through life trying to be someone we aren’t for the sake of approval. No matter how much it hurts if a girl doesn’t like you for who you are, then she’s not for you.
Be aware of your body language because that’s what she’s going to pick up on first, before you even open your mouth.
Be relaxed, open and honest, and you’ve got a shot.
Bring a wingman to the club scene
If you are looking to approach a girl at a club, make sure you’ve got someone with you to watch your back and perhaps make it a little less awkward up front, not one on one.
Often girls go out with other girls so if you’ve got a friend this will help initiate the start-up conversation.
Just a smart thing to do particularly when you are in an unpredictable environment, like the bar or club scene.
It’s not always easy to approach a girl and the more tips, tricks and proven strategies you’ve got in your brain, the better.
Use these pointers to build your confidence, to attract the right girl or girls and you’re off to the races.
Best of luck!