If you want to know what a woman really wants, you are going to have to invest some time figuring out her language.
Yes, women speak a different language of love when compared to a man’s version and the more you know, the better off you will be. Particularly, when you are looking to figure out whether or not a girl has the hots for you.
Here are experts tips and clear-cut signals she isn’t interested in you and on the flip side, some super hot signs this girl really enjoys flirting with you.
First, Quick Tips She Doesn’t Want Your Attention
*Not looking at you at all
*Not paying attention to you at all while you are trying to strike up a conversation with her
*Arms crossed rigidly across her chest
*Only one or two word replies
*Touching you too much – Means she just wants to be friends
*Leaning away from you
*Not contributing at all to the conversation
Now let’s take a peak at the invaluable information you need to know to figure out if a girl is flirting with you.
How To Tell If A Girl Is Flirting With You
Signal One – She’s Got Her Smile On
This move is one of the toughest to figure out because women smile for all different reasons. She might be nervous or shy, just trying to be friendly, or she might really trying to flirt with you.
A good rule of thumb to follow is if a girl smiles at you from a far and the smile is slow and deliberate minus the nerves, then she wants to connect with you. This means she’s flirting with you and you better take action and flirt back.
Signal Two – Touching The Chin…Twirling The Hair…Batting The Eyelashes
When a girl wants to flirt with a man or wants him to notice her, she is going to show him with her body language. So she might bashfully twirl her hair or maybe bat her eyelashes at you.
Touching her lips, chin and face are also proven body language signals that a girl likes you and is trying to flirt.
These are all feminine flirty signs a girl is trying to turn a man on.
Signal Three – Cleaning Herself Up
If a woman heads to the bathroom and comes back with her hair brushed, lip gloss on, and perhaps she’s wearing her shirt a little lower. These are all clear signs that a girl is flirting with you.
What you do with this information is of course up to you.
Signal Four – Damsel In Distress
If a girl is looking for you to help her, she could very well be flirting with you.
For instance, if she happens to ask you to help her lift something heavy or maybe help her figure out something on her phone, she is seriously trying to get your attention.
All of which she is usually totally capable of handing on her own but she’s just looking to grab your attention. This is a straight in your face flirting technique.
Signal Five – Reaches Out And Touches You
If a girl reaches out to touch you when you’re talking, this is a ginormous sign she likes you. This is telling you that she is totally into you but doesn’t want to be too obvious about it just yet.
BEWARE – If she is constantly touching you and just doesn’t stop, that’s not good news for you. This means she is crazy comfy with you and just wants to be friends. So just be careful to pinpoint the difference between “flirting” and “just friends.”
Signal Six – Simple Body Language
This signal can be a little confusing so let me explain. If a cute girl is talking with you but alternates between facing you and twisting away from you, then she’s flirting. Girls like to be mysterious too.
This also helps a woman stay relaxed and calm. Pay attention to this one and make sure you interpret it accordingly.
Signal Seven – Twitching And Fidgeting
If a girl is fidgeting around you and acting a little twitchy-jumpy, chances are pretty good she’s trying to flirt with you. Remember, not all girls are skilled flirters off the hop!
She might play with her hairband, twist her watch and maybe fiddle with her necklace. As long as she is making eye contact with you and not looking like she is so uncomfortable she wants to bolt, then she’s telling you with her body that she’s into you.
Signal Eight – Closeness Matters
When a woman is obviously trying to get close to you, she’s flirting. If on the other hand she is repeatedly trying to move away from you, then she’s not looking to be anything more than friends.
A girl that likes a man is going to invade his private space as much as she safely can. This may even get a little claustrophobic for you but it’s all with good intention. She just wants you to pay attention and notice her that’s all.
Why is she doing this?
Well, most girls believe the guy should be making the first move so this is all she’s going to give you so that you will make your move.
Better act fast if you like her.
Signal Nine – Attentive Laughter
If a girl is laughing at all your jokes, even the lame ones, then she’s trying to tell you she likes you. This one is a little hard to understand but when a girl likes a guy ,she is fascinated with him.
Don’t worry, it doesn’t last long. So you better take action fast if you like the idea of this girl flirting with you.
Signal Ten – Puts You On The Spot
When a girl flirts with a guy, she might signal this by asking you lots of questions about you. Don’t think of these questions as interrogation, just that she is genuinely interested in you.
And don’t forget to give her good answers because unlike most boys, she is paying attention. There may be a quiz of sorts at some point!
Signal Eleven – Lifting You Up And Beating You Down In The Same Breath
When I was growing up, the boys I liked were the ones that I playfully pushed or punched, I’m not kidding! Let’s take this to the adult level.
Loving and hating isn’t so far apart. This applies to insults and complimenting when you think about it.
If a girl is giving you compliments and taking stabs at you, she is probably flirting. Pay attention to this one or you just might miss out.
Signal Twelve – Future Talk
This one sends many boys running but when a girl starts talking about the future, what’s down the road, then she is flirting with you.
She might talk about a band that is coming to town next month that she wants to see or maybe a party in a few weeks that you might like to come to.
When a girl is flirting with a man, she wants him to know that she would like to see him more than in the now and when you talk about things down the road, you are sealing the deal.
It’s important for you to semi-commit to events down the road if you want the flirting to continue. Otherwise she will just shut the door and move on fast.
Signal Thirteen – Proving Herself
When a girl tries to validate herself to you with things she’s accomplished, she is playfully flirting with you. Essentially, she is trying to show you she has value and deserves your attention.
Some girls go overboard and actually start to brag. Keep it in a positive light and understand it’s just her way of flirting with you.
Too bad girls never seem to be straight up when it comes to flirting. They like to send off signals but none of them are concrete.
Signal Fourteen – Higher Voice – Faster Talk
Experts say one of the easiest routes to figure out if a girl is flirting with you is to listen to how fast she is talking and the tone of her voice.
Girls seem to talk faster to the men they are interested in. So the next time you are with a group of girls, test the theory out.
On the flip side…
Often when a girl likes a guy, her pitch will start to rise. This is all happening subconsciously so don’t hold it against her please.
Signal Fifteen – Body Language
Let’s take this one a step deeper.
Body language is VIP when you are trying to figure out whether or not a girl likes you.
*Mimicking – If she is unconsciously following your movements, she is flirting. So when you cross your arms, scratch your head or yawn, pay attention to see if she follows suit.
Psychologists say people who like each other will try and mimic their behaviors. This one is derived from evolution and the need to find your place or fit in.
*Shoulders Pointed Toward You – When a girl is flirting with a man, she will keep her shoulders pointed in or toward him. This shows that she is trying to get your attention and she is paying attention to what you are saying and doing.
*Toes Pointed Toward You – If a girl is interested in a man, her feet will be pointed toward him. This is another unconscious move that people just do when they like someone.
Signal Sixteen – A Show Of The Hands
When you are talking with this girl, pay close attention to what her hands are doing. Her hands will tell you a lot about what she is thinking and feeling.
If she is flirting with you, she will use her hands to tell you this by “talking” with her hands. She might gesture with her hands when she is explaining things to you and use her hands to reach out and touch you.
Pay Attention Please – If she is sitting on her hands, hiding them or sticking them in her pockets, she might be telling you she doesn’t want your attention.
Signal Seventeen – Verbal Diarrhea
Yes, it’s important that you pay attention to her body language, but you also need to listen to what she is saying.
If your conversation is easy, quick and smooth, seemingly effortless, then she’s into you.
On the flip side – If you happen to be the only one talking and she’s pretty much keeping to herself, with her mouth shut, then she might not be interested in you at all.
BEWARE – The AU NATURAL Flirt
There are women that are just natural flirts with everyone and likely have no romantic interest in you whatsoever.
She is likely skilled in most everything we’ve talked about thus far, but just likes the thrill of the flirt.
Don’t get mixed up with this one or you will get shot down.
So how do you tell if she’s just a natural flirt?
Pay attention to how she is acting around everyone else. Is she giving all the signs and signals to every other man in the room? Does she skip around the room from one conversation to the next, making the rounds?
Tread carefully here.
Final Words
When you are trying to figure out whether or not a girl is flirting with you or genuinely not interested, it becomes sort of a puzzle.
You need to pay attention to the signals, the body language, words, and overall vibe.
And make sure you don’t get stuck on a natural flirter that just enjoys flirting for the sake of flirting and nothing more.
Open you mind to researching and learning everything you can about how to tell if a girl is flirting with you and you’ll soon become an expert in the field.
Best of luck…You’ll do great!






Paul says
I’m a 36 year old guy – no woman has ever given me any of the signals you identify and I’ve never been on a date or been kissed either. Should I just accept that no woman could ever be attracted to me?
Kate says
Hi Paul,
Don’t give up, there is someone for everyone. Have you ever done online dating? You could write to many women online, I’m sure someone would find you interesting and would go out with you and possibly date you.
Charlie says
Earlier this evening, I stopped at Stewart’s and saw a girl there. It was only a 2 minute encounter at the checkout line, so most of these were impossible, but during the brief time we spoke, she was energetic, bubbly, and giggly. In the end, I realized I came up short at checkout. She sincerely didn’t have an issue charging my stuff to her card ($7 and change). I asked her if she was sure she wanted to do me the “favor” (as I so phrased it at that moment). Her answer was Fonz-esque: (all simultaneously) *wink, double-click of the tongue, double (handgun-style) pointing at me+”cocking (if you will)” with thumbs, and lastly twist and lean. Was she into me, an “au natural flirter,” or (though a little farfetched, but) just a naturally very cheerful and giving person? I was in a rush at the time, so I didn’t think anything of it until now. I feel I just wasted an obvious chance.
Kate says
Go back to Stewart’s to give her the money back and see if she would flirt with you again. Pay more attention this time and don’t rush, maybe you’ll get more clues. You can also tell her that you would like to repay the “favor” by taking her out for coffee etc.
San says
Well, I was on vacation in completely other country..
So I went to my hostel, checked-in. There was a cute girl helping me at that..
Anyway we started talking about the music she was playing.. From the music we started talking about many other things.. seemed we had some common interests.. The next 4 to 5 hours we kept on talking… it was as I had known her for a long time. It was really special. Pure and genuine . Well as I was on vacation I didn’t expect something to happen like that anyway (only 2 days stay there). I guess there were a lot of signs she liked me… even touching my hand a few times and moving closer and we even shared some emotional things. We told each other this was kind of a special meet.. Anyway, she was also working (she was the manager it proved afterwards). The first day she said she wanted pictures of a place I had been to.. So she gave me her work email address.. The next day as I went sightseeing I sent her an email to confirm and she sent me a brief reply.. At the end of the first evening she told me she had to go.. She needed to make dinner for her husband.. That was the first big wake-up call.. On day 2 she was pretty busy working and I went out to some sightseeing. We talked for a short while… As I was about to sleep I bumped into her.. We talked and all the signs were there again.. She thought I would stay another 2 days.. But I wasn’t.. She said she had wanted to give me a little present.. But obviously there was no time. I told her I would go down again and see her there… I have bought a cup earlier on the trip and I knew she would really like that.. So I went down, gave her the little present and talked. At the end we hugged.. 2x.. (not really usual thing to do in Japan).. said goodbyes.. as she walked out we looked at each other .. well I will remember that look for ages…
Well she is not a big user of social media (but she added me on fb).
Since then I got back home… And sent her links to the photos.. and she said she would look at them on her free day.. (she downloaded but not all). When I left that place the following morning… I felt really sad and up to now (2 weeks later almost) I cannot think about anything else..
What should I do? The signs were never so obvious but at the same time also not.. but she is married and lived on the other side of the globe.. I contacted her but don’t want to be too intrusive.. This sounds like a crazy story and it is… Today I even wrote a letter to send to her (but didn’t send yet).. but maybe I should just walk away… just because..
Kate says
I think you should just move on. She’s married and lives on the other side of the globe.
Ellis says
Well this has been helpful!
The information I have read so far has been helpful, but I have a situation and I need some advice. Please write back!
Yesterday was my 32nd Birthday. I am an interesting mix of an old soul and a decently humorous guy, so I often make friends with men and women alike. In the apartment where I live, on my floor there is an older woman – I believe she is in her mid to late 40s – who constantly chats me up and has exhibited most of these signs. She is in remarkable shape, has a youthful glow, and dresses to fit her physique. Yesterday, I ran into her and let her know that it was my bday. She (as it is her custom as a Latina) greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, told me of her bday which was the week before, and mentioned that she owes me a few Coronas to celebrate. To this day, I don’t have her name, but she knows mine. With the age disparity, I am wondering if she is just being kind or if she is flirting with me. I don’t want to miss my window but I also am unsure of how to proceed.
Help!
Kate says
It’s hard to tell for sure unless you ask her out. You could ask her if she wants to get a drink and celebrate both of your birthdays.
Martin Johnsan says
Hi, these tips are very good to approach my crush. Thanks for sharing these tips. Keep Updating.
TheDude says
This is hardly expert advice, as stated in the intro. Nothing written this terribly could ever be misconstrued as such. The people in the comments are trolling.
james says
[eye roll]
Embaressed says
There’s a guy who starred at me and when I look over he looks away .He talks to me when he can.He acts weird on the bus bc I ride his bus and so does his friends but in art I’m always in his line of sight .HELP!
Somebody says
Tell him to f*ck off or something lol, not hard to make a guy uninterested.
Landen Ewing says
So I’m dating this girl I met but I don’t think she was flirting with me when we met I think I did most of the flirting what should I do.
Oliver says
There’s a girl that I know from work and whenever I see her if I’m not working, she always smiles and seems to be acting flirty but I don’t know if she’s actually flirting or just being nice