If you want a girl to like you, you have to figure out the best way to text her. Learning how to text a girl shouldn’t be a mystery. It is easier than most people think to say the right thing to get her to want to text you back. If you do it right, you should be able to get the girl to go out with you and maybe even get a relationship started.
The problem with texting a girl is that it can feel intimidating. If you do it wrong, she might not reply. But, if you do it right, good things can happen. Before you send the first text, you should decide exactly what you want from her. Most likely, you don’t want a long conversation over the phone. In this article, we’ll cover everything you need to know about how to text a girl.
Why Texting is Tough to Master
Texting is different from other types of communication. With limited space, you have to be precise with your words. You don’t want to come across as desperate, creepy, or anything else that will turn her away from you. The words you type need should be confident and comfortable, so the girl will want to go out with you.
There is an etiquette to texting, but too many people fail to follow the rules. One of the most important things you should do is check your texts before you send them. If you aren’t sure about whether to send it, let the text rest on your phone before you hit send. An awkward autocorrect could muddy the message.
The biggest problem with texting is that you cannot tell what someone is feeling through their words. When you speak face-to-face, you can read facial expressions and understand the tone in words. Instead, when texting, you have no idea what the sound of a text should be. Emojis can help, but they aren’t perfect at conveying tone.
These tips should make it easier to get your message to the girl you like. Hopefully, she will respond positively.
Pay Attention to Spelling and Grammar
Depending on the age and education of the girl you like, spelling and grammar can be crucial. However, it can also give you an image that you do not want. If your spelling and grammar are perfect, the girl might think that you are anxious and a perfectionist. This can be intimidating for a girl.
But, you do not want to use too much text talk for fear of sounding like someone who couldn’t pass high school English. The best bet is to mix up a little text lingo with correct grammar and spelling. The right mix should include less text talk and more accurate spelling and grammar.
The way you type your texts should make you look like you care, but not too much. The texts you send should sound like you are speaking in a natural voice in a laid-back style. You’re not texting your buddies, but you’re not texting your grandmother, either. Find a playful happy medium.
Pay attention to the punctuation you use, too. Keep it to a necessary minimum. Avoid using too many exclamation points and question marks. These make you look overly excited and needy.
Keep Your Texts Light
You don’t want to have a long, drawn-out conversation via text. To avoid this from happening, keep your questions and answers light. Sometimes women will ask essential questions via text. Answer them, but don’t get too serious. Texts that are boring make you sound boring.
You might get texts asking about your day. Answer the question, but you don’t have to go into much detail. Answer with a positive attitude and make it about her. Maybe you tell her that your day was great because she was on your mind. If she keeps asking questions, continue to answer in the same tone with answers that focus on her.
The light, flirty attitude will keep her engaged. She’ll begin to develop a bit of an attraction to you. The delivery will make her feel safe and show that you are interested in her. There’s no pressure, and there’s nothing awkward about the answers. You’ve made yourself approachable. She’ll be happy to receive texts from you.
Positivity is Important
Along with the light and flirty attitude, you also want to keep your texts positive. If you start to complain via text, she might lose interest. No one wants to be around someone who focuses on negativity. Sure, you can vent to her after you get to know her better. But, don’t get dark and creepy in a brief text.
To keep your texts positive, notice how you feel when you are sending one. If you are feeling down, wait until your attitude has changed before you text. Even though your tone is tough to read in a text, you don’t want to have her mistake your mood if it does show up. You don’t want her to think you are boring and negative. So, don’t be boring and negative in any texts.
If she asks you how your day was and you can’t say anything positive, don’t reply right away. Think of a positive answer and respond when you are ready. Don’t wait too long, because you don’t want to make her think you are ignoring her. But, you don’t want to reply in a way that will turn her off.
What If You Are At a Loss for Words?
Not knowing what to say can be tough, especially when you are under pressure to look good via text. When you are just getting to know the girl, you might not know much about her. This can compound the struggle. The key to success when you are at a loss for words is to be you – and a little bit goofy.
Your friendly openness will make her want to respond. So, when you don’t know what to say, have a little fun. You can do this by getting to know a few of her favorite things. If she loves the Avengers, text like you are Thor. Or, try a Groot reference. She’ll giggle and want to get back to you to see what else you have to say.
There are topics that people can all respond to with ease. You can always talk about food, just avoid making rude statements about different eating habits as she might have allergies or eat a vegetarian diet. You should also be able to talk about popular culture or school-related topics. Avoid controversial ones like politics or religion, at least until you know each other better.
Read Into Her Texts
You might be wondering if she is into you, but you are afraid to ask. So, the best way to figure it out is to look closely into what she is saying. You might think it is time to ask her out, and her words can confirm or deny your suspicions. All too often, men cannot figure out when the girl they like likes them, and they keep texting for way too long.
After a while, a girl will lose interest if you don’t offer something more than a flirty text. They actually prefer to talk face-to-face. They can get bored chatting via text. There are vital signs that it is time to move on to something bigger and better with her.
The first sign that she likes you is that she replies immediately. The second is that she sends more texts, and she begins to initiate conversations. Once she starts to agree with what you have to say, and she begins asking more questions of a personal nature. Another sign is that she starts to use emojis with giggles and possibly even the winky face or kissy face.
Men often overlook another sign: that she tells you more personal things about her. Some women will show their interest by sending pictures, especially if they include her dressed in something that men might like. She might also show interest by telling you she is exercising, especially if her exercise of preference is yoga.
Women who do not want to stop texting you during a conversation are also ready to move to the next step. Ask her out if you have to end the text conversation, or if neither one of you knows how to stop it.
Write As She Writes
If you still cannot figure out how to text a girl, you can try mirroring her style. You might not know how long or short your messages should be. You might not know when it is correct to include emojis. The best thing to do is to copy what she does. If her texts have short sentences, you should use short sentences. If she uses emojis with every text, you do the same.
Pay attention to her style. If she doesn’t like to text before work is over for the day, don’t text her until she gets home from work. But, if your girl loves to text all day and sends cute gifs and emojis, you should reciprocate. Adjust so she sees that you understand her; then she will be more likely to say yes when you finally ask her out.
The idea of adjusting your communication style has been proven successful by psychologists and researchers. When you speak a person’s language, they see they are appreciated. They want to build rapport with you because they see you understand what they are trying to say. Making an effort is key to successful communication.
The girl you want to text will be your audience, and the number-one rule of writing is to know your audience. Learn what she wants and provide it in your texts. She will get hooked on reading your messages and will want to know more about you. Then, she will want to date you as you have successfully figured out how to communicate with her.
One thing to be aware of is that you do not want to come across as mocking her. Be sure that your texts are unique. They shouldn’t be blatantly mirroring hers; they should showcase your personality in a style that she finds appealing.
If she feels you are mocking her by loading your texts with gifs or emojis, she will immediately be turned off from you. You won’t recover from that epic fail.
Learn to End the Text Conversation
Back when landlines were popular, couples would tell each other to hang-up when the conversation ended. No one wanted to hang-up first, so they jokingly told each other to do it. “No, you hang-up,” was what they would say to each other until someone finally did it.
With text conversations, it can be challenging to figure out how to end the conversation. You might be enjoying yourself so much that you don’t want it to end. You also might be afraid that you might not get a conversation like this again, so you don’t want to say good-bye for the night.
With texting, it is generally understood that the one who began the conversation is the one who should end it. When you take charge of the conversation, the girl will grow to respect you and your need to end the conversation. She might wonder what you have that is so important, so she’ll want to know more about you in the next conversation.
You don’t want to seem like you don’t like talking to her, or that you have something better to do. But, if you do have something important to do, like study for a test, then you should tell her. Honesty is the best policy when you are in the middle of learning about someone new, especially if you like her.
Don’t Always Reply at the Same Time
When you are talking to her, mix up your timing. While you might be incredibly excited to talk to you, don’t always reply immediately. Wait a few minutes or longer before you respond. However, if she knows you are always on your phone, you don’t want to keep her waiting too long, or she might begin to wonder if you like her.
By replying at different intervals, you show that you have a life. You want her to think that you are interesting. Don’t play games with her, but do show that you have other things on your plate. This will prepare her for when you actually are busy, and you cannot reply immediately. She will see that you aren’t a pushover, too.
Don’t Worry When She’s Slow to Reply
Some guys freak out when they text a girl, and she doesn’t reply immediately. People are busy. They cannot always attend to their phones, so texters often have to wait. Some men forget that when they send a text, they should forget about it and move on to something else.
When men worry about whether she will return a text or not, they get negatively distracted. They begin to overthink; then they get mad. This doesn’t help the relationship as your girl might be busy at work or helping a family member. Not everyone can text back as soon as they see the original text. Men who worry about return texts start to panic that the girl doesn’t like them.
Unfortunately, these are often signs of anxiety. They can lead men to make stupid mistakes with girls they like that forces girls to walk away and find someone new. You don’t want to send follow-up texts. Otherwise, you sound like a big worrywart and a bit obsessive. Girls do not want their men to have to check-up on them.
When men send obsessive follow-up texts, girls move out of the interested zone and into the friend zone. They do not want to have a romantic relationship with someone so needy and obsessive.
The best to avoid this feeling is to write a text, read it for errors and autocorrects, then send it and leave it alone. She will text you back when she is ready. There is no set time to return a text, which is what truly lacks from the communication technique.
Ask Her Out
After you have been texting for a long enough time, you should ask her out. Of course, you need to evaluate if she actually likes you. If you can say yes, she does, then get busy making date plans.
You can ask her questions that will help you understand if she really does want to date you. Ask her what her favorite dinner or dessert is. Ask her what type of drink she likes (then make it for her the next time you visit her house). If she wants to go out, she will answer the questions and possibly even tell you where she wants to go.
If you don’t ask her out within a reasonable amount of time, someone else will. You don’t want that to happen. The big question remains: do you ask her out via text or do you call her? Both are valid ways to ask someone out. However, it is easier to say no via text. You can prepare her for the big question over text, but asking her out over the phone can lead to more success.
Fortunately, if you make a mistake in the way you ask her out, you can always fix it with a phone call or a text message. Prior to calling, text her to tell her that you have to ask her a question over the phone. Ask if she is available to talk. If she isn’t, find out what time would be best. Then, call her and ask her out.
Reminders For How to Text a Girl
- If you need the lessons in a nutshell, here they are. Some men like to see the entire plan in one long list, so this is it. If you are going to text a girl prior to asking her out, there are a few steps you should consider.
- When you text a girl, try to make her curious. Text her with fun and laughter so she can become interested in you. It might take a couple of texts to accomplish your goals, but with texts, you do have to tie. Have some conversations before you ask her out.
- Don’t get too caught up in the speed in which she replies. When you overthink about issues, you begin to obsess. When it comes to obsessing via text message, no girl has time for it. Wait for her reply by finding something to do to keep yourself busy and away from the phone.
- When you send the text, be positive. As you type the text, smile, as it might actually come across in the message. If you cannot be positive, wait until you can. No girl wants to spend her time trying to understand a guy who is always negative. Be real and be kind.
- Try not to be boring. At best, you should try to flirt a bit via text, so she sees that you are fun-loving and not too serious about life. As you text her, keep the conversations light. You don’t want to meet her grandparents the first time you meet. You shouldn’t talk about relationship-related things, especially if you have never gone out on a face-to-face date.
- Know what she likes. Then, use those likes to craft your post. You can model your words after her favorite celebrities or use terms that pop up in her favorite movies. Everyone appreciates being noticed. When you recognize the girl’s likes, you show that you care and that you see her for who she really is.
- Grammar does matter. If you write the text like you are in middle school, she will notice this and lose interest. If you overdo the grammar, she might be afraid of your perfectionist ways. Find a happy medium where your texts are easy to read and have a useful, but not an overbearing level of grammar. And, whatever you do, do not ever correct her grammar!
- Notice her words. If she wants to date you, she will show signs of interest. Then, don’t wait too long to ask her out.