In a new relationship? There is some relationship advice that will help you start the relationship offer right and last a long time into the future. The following does not cover all of it, but it is a pretty great place to start!
Have Some Direction In Life
Want to make your relationship last? Then have direction in life. Direction in life makes you a happier person. It also makes you a more interesting person.
When you stop moving forward, your partner may view you as dull, boring, or unwilling to take action and risks for what you want.
It is human nature to want more, to have dreams, to keep actively participating in your life and moving towards a future that is happier and more fulfilling.
When you give up on doing that, you can easily lose some interest and even respect from your partner (as well as other people and even yourself).
You don’t have to aim for the stars, you just have to have a path that you are following and keep moving one foot in front of the other.
If you don’t have direction, and don’t know where to start, then meditate for an answer. (My secret is out! I am a huge believer in things like meditation and law of attraction.) The more you focus on what you want to do and where you are going, the more answers will appear into your life.
Once you get the answer, take action towards fulfilling those answers. I have a great example of this.
My husband is an accountant, but he was once in a band. He knew his band was going nowhere and he wasn’t sure what to do with his life, so he kept pondering the question and looking for answers. One day he was walking to his car after a gig, and a piece of paper blowing in the wind landed in front of him. Keep in mind this was at 3:30am. It was information about an accounting. He was totally interested and signed up, and now he is an accountant and making some pretty decent money.
Keep your eyes open for signs and you will see them, even at 3:30am when you have been drinking all night! Yes, this is relationship, but this is also life advice that will enrich your life.
Accept Your Partner’s Family And Friends – Even If You Can’t Stand Them
This is some tough relationship advice to hear. The truth is that you are not always going to like your new partner’s family and friends– that is a fact. However, you can’t go around badmouthing them and treating them poorly. That is not going to score any points with your partner.
Your partner’s friends and family mean something to them, and you need to respect them and treat them well (or at least not treat them poorly) to show that you respect your partner.
I know how hard it is! My husband’s family hates me. I’m serious…they have never liked me and if I were to drop dead tomorrow they would probably be okay with it. They may even dance on my grave.
However, they are still my husband’s family, and for me to demand that he exclude them from their life is not right.
Instead, I try to be as cordial and polite as possible when I see them, and I support his relationship with them in every way I can.
I should say that he has taken initiative to make me the priority over them, and he lets them know that it is not okay to treat me poorly, but in the end he still takes care of them and I still want him to.
He loves me more for being someone who tries, and I love him because he can put up with those people…
What Relationship Advice Should Everyone Practice? Leaving Abuse Out Of The Relationship
“Most people inevitably get treated the way they permit themselves to be treated, if you allow someone to treat you like you’re worthless, then they will. Have the respect for yourself to leave abuse out of the relationship.”
If there was one piece of relationship advice that I wish everyone would follow, it is this. I’m so tired of seeing people in abusive relationships.
Abuse does not usually take a long time to enter a relationship. An abusive partner will not be able to hold back their abuse because they know no other way to interact.
Abuse has no place in an intimate relationship, and if you are abusing your partner or being abused, then your relationship will suffer for it – there is no two ways about it.
Most people think of abuse and think of physical abuse. Yes, physical abuse is not acceptable, but it is not the only kind of abuse. There is also mental abuse and even spiritual abuse.
You may not think that you are being abusive (or abused), but if you are treating your partner poorly or unfairly, then that this is a form of abuse.
For example:
– Nagging
– Consistently breaking trust
– Yelling
– Making your partner feel bad about themselves
– Hitting
– The silent treatment
– Putting down beliefs and goals
3 Types of Mental Abuse That ARE Abusive
1. The Silent Treatment
This is mental abuse at its worst. The silent treatment is a form of revenge that you have to live with when your partner makes you feel as though you are not important enough for them to acknowledge.
It can rip your self-confidence apart and cause you to fear being honest with your partner so that you don’t end up getting ignored again. When you are scared to speak your mind, that is not love; that is a loss of freedom, and it is abusive.
2. Being Put Down
There are two types of criticism. First, there is constructive criticism that offers suggestions into how you can look at something differently. Then, there is criticism that says you are completely wrong. If your partner is making you feel as though you are dumb, unintelligent, and always wrong, then this is not constructive criticism.
Relationship abuse happens when your partner criticizes you in a negative manner. They are consistently wrecking your self-confidence which affects your life negatively.
3. Not Treating You Equally
Do you go to work, cook and clean, and look after your partner? Are you constantly the one who has to take care of the house? Do you offer an ear for your partner but they don’t have the time to offer an ear for you? Do you support and encourage them, but they offer you nothing? Are they starting to become the star in the relationship? Do they expect constant attention and acknowledgment, but give you none?
When your partner’s needs are more important than yours are, your partner may get a very big head, and you can start to lose your identity in the relationship.
A relationship is supposed to be about a mutual give-and-take. You cannot always give or receive. If your partner is doing this to you, then it is abusive to your mental health.
As you can see, abuse is not always apparent in the relationship.
If this sounds like your relationship, then you may want to reconsider the dynamic of the relationship, or even the relationship itself. You deserve to be happy, and abuse will never make you happy.
Don’t Be Afraid To Fall In Love! Yes…This Is Relationship Advice!
Are you afraid to fall in love? Do you create an emotional or even physical barrier so that love can’t get through? You may think that you are doing yourself a favor by not allowing yourself to fall in love, but in reality you are affecting the happiness of your life and your relationship.
Putting Up Barriers Causes Stress
Stress is created when you go against your natural instincts and desires.
For instance:
- You get stressed when you push your body or mind too hard.
- You get stressed when you are not able to get what you want.
- You get stressed when you say things like “I don’t want this to happen!” or “I better make sure he (or she) doesn’t get to close, see me laugh, or find a weakness in me.”
It is stressful to fight against our natural impulses, and your natural impulse is to see what will happen with this guy or gal, not fight against it.
Stress on the mind manifests into physical symptoms such as headaches and fatigue (short-term) and more pressing health issues such as high-blood pressure and lowered immune system (long-term).
Bottom line: If you are constantly putting stress on your body, then you can expect to see some physical issues sooner or later.
If you get sick simply because you were scared to fall in love, then that would be a real shame.
Love is an Essential Part of Life
Everyone in this world wants to be loved. EVERYONE! You may not admit it to yourself, but it is very true. Love is a very basic human need.
If you are blocking love from entering your life, then you are denying yourself a basic need. Trust me, when that need is met, life becomes easier and happier, just like it does when other needs you have are met.
However, if you continue to deny that need, then you can become bitter, angry, depressed, hateful…whichever way life takes you.
Love is a need, not necessarily a want, and it is essential to our happiness. It really is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all.
Rejection Won’t Kill You
Scared to fall in love because of rejection? You are not alone! Fear of rejection is one of the big reasons that many people are afraid to fall in love.
It goes like this: After being rejected once, we decide that we don’t want our heart to be broken again or feel the pain again, so we avoid love completely – even when our instincts are telling us to ‘go for it’.
Rejection is a part of life though, and you will suffer pain even if you don’t fall in love.
What I am saying is that you WILL feel rejected at some point in your life even if you don’t try to fall in love. So why not take the plunge and try?
In addition, the longer you stay out of a relationship, the more negative you will talk to yourself. You will tell yourself that you are not sexy enough, not worthy enough, and not strong enough to be in a relationship – you will essentially start creating your own rejection in this way. Do you think someone will want you when you barely believe in yourself?
If you fall in love and it doesn’t work out, so what! You had great moments together and you likely learned a lot about yourself in the process. Be grateful that you had a chance to fall in love. And look forward to future chances to do it again!
So to recap – if you are afraid to fall in love, then stop being afraid this very instant because…
1. Denying love can cause stress on the body.
2. One of your most basic needs is to be loved.
3. Rejection won’t kill you, but living a negative life that tries to keep love out might!
Think Before You Speak
This can be easier said than done, but it is relationship advice that you need to incorporate now! Many people say what is on their mind without a moment’s thought. (Including me a lot of the time.) This is especially true around people that we love or are comfortable with, such as our partners in a relationship.
The problem with speaking without thinking is that we can cause our partner to be hurt, upset or angry, and we can even cause damage to our relationship health and happiness because of our words.
And the ugly truth is that we can NEVER take back the words we say.
Oh sure, we can say “I’m sorry Hun, I didn’t meant that.” But, once we actually say something, the words have imprinted a meaning behind them into our partner’s mind, and that cannot be erased.
That should be enough to make you think before you speak!
You have probably been on the receiving end of dumbass words, or you can easily picture what it would feel like. For instance, if someone tells you that you are ugly, it will sting in the moment, and you will likely think about that comment every so often. You can’t just let it go in one ear and out the other, as much as you would like to!
Words have a lot of power. I can make you visually picture anything I want with my words; how about a Zebra hitching a ride on top of a Buffalo through a shallow swimming pool. Do you see how my words (even written) can cause you to imagine something, and, possibly, even feel something?
Your words will create a strong visual in your partner’s mind if you blurt out something hurtful. Therefore, it is very important to think before you speak.
3 Steps To Think Before You Speak
1. Remember That Your Words Are Powerful
Remember that your words have a great deal of power. They are not just simply words. Once you repeat that truth repeatedly to yourself enough, it will become a belief. And once it becomes a belief, you will not be able to ignore the impact your words has on someone.
Your words can hurt, harm, anger, and tear apart someone. But they can also make someone feel good and brighten up their day. That is an awful lot of power to have! The choice is up to you.
2. Say It To Yourself First
Think about how words would affect you. Often if you are able to hear the words being said to yourself, and they don’t make you feel good, then you will not want to say them to someone else because you will not want to make them feel upset. Use the mirror to really get a sense of how your words can not only feel, but look to someone else.
3. Say What You Got To Say in a Nicer Way
Word it differently. If you feel that you absolutely need to say something, then find a way to word it in a way that will not cause a negative reaction from your partner.
For instance instead of saying, “Are you seriously that stupid?” say something like, “Maybe you will want to look at the situation a different way.” You can get the same message across – “You are wrong” – without having to hurt his or her feelings.
By following the above 3 steps, you should be able to think before you speak and word your thoughts in a way that won’t offend or hurt your partner. By doing this, you can avoid relationship fights over insensitive words.
