According to Mark Manson, there are different levels of eye contact, and each has a different meaning. Eye contact is particularly important in the dating game because it uncovers how much someone might be attracted to you.
Of course, there are many other body signals to consider if you are serious about understanding whether you stand a chance with someone before you get in too deep.
The more information you have, the better because it seems to have gotten so complex, especially when your technological devices have taken the face-2-face interaction out of relationships.
We will investigate other signals that tell you whether you are on the right track a little later.
First, let’s uncover what you need to know about eye contact.
Prolonged Eye Contact Meaning
First Level – Intentional No Locking Eyes
This is where they are making a conscious effort to make sure they don’t make eye contact with you. If you happen to be in pursuit of intimacy and your guy or gal does this to you, they are basically telling you to take a hike without saying it.
You will find this level of eye contact abundant with guys who like to stare at sexy girls. When you are having a conversation with a girl and you notice she’s doing everything in her power to look anywhere but directly at you, it’s intentional and your cue to get lost.
Second Level – Zero Eye Contact That’s Not Intentional
When a girl isn’t looking you in the eyes and it’s not on purpose, it’s a signal she just doesn’t see you. It’s possible you are looking at her and she is focused on something else or her brain is in another orbit. Don’t laugh; it happens!
Perhaps they are just too busy, or you are not interesting to look at.
First Level – The Unconscious Glance
This is where you might be feeling her looking at you, but when you look over, she quickly looks away, even though this person doesn’t know they were looking at you. In a nutshell, it’s when their eyes are scoping the room and they happen to run into yours.
Understand, he or she doesn’t know they are doing this, and you don’t need to make anything of it. This is a neutral eye contact stance. Most people just aren’t paying attention to anything in particular when they are making this level of eye contact.
Second Level – The Conscious Glance
This is the first kind of eye contact where you may have made an impression on someone. In this zone, the guy or gal consciously looks away when you catch them looking at you. It is a positive sign. This person might be shy, feel awkward, or not be interested.
Studies show, when a person looks down to break your gaze, they are intimidated by you. On the other hand, if they happen to look sideways to break the gaze, they aren’t interested at all. That one’s tough to call, so you’ve got to follow your gut.
In general, if someone breaks eye contact with you intentionally and quickly, they either aren’t interested or interested but nervous or self-conscious around you.
Keep in mind, most people don’t like to make eye contact with strangers. The key factor is they noticed you in the first place. When a person consciously takes action to look at another person, there’s always a reason.
So, the Second Level of eye contact is only slightly different than the First Level of eye contact, which makes it tough to use accurately. It doesn’t hurt to assume they are interested in you until it’s proven otherwise.
If you happen to be a shy or nervous person, like I used to be, a great little practice exercise is to lock eyes with people and be the first to break eye contact. Make sure you find these people attractive or it will defeat the purpose when it’s time to use it for real.
You’ve got to get uncomfortable to get comfortable if you want to succeed in the dating world.
Third Level – Just A Glance And A Bit
In this level, you will see there is interest but just a smidgeon. It’s still tough to pick up on this one unless you’ve been practicing. This is where she’s definitely looking at you, but she doesn’t look away immediately. There’s a bit of a delay before she does.
It’s not much, not even a second longer. This move is also short and unconscious; she doesn’t know she’s doing it. We are programmed to look longer at the things in life that attract our attention. She knows she’s the one breaking the gaze, but she’s still looking at you just a little longer.
In theory, this level normally happens when she’s focused on something else, like another person she’s with or her phone. She really doesn’t realize she’s staring at you a little longer than normal.
If you run into this, it’s worth it to have a chat. The door is obviously open.
Fourth Level – Double Take
This one is best used when you are confident holding the stare and making sure you aren’t the one that looks away, down or to the side, first. When you make eye contact with a cute girl and she looks away, make sure you keep looking long enough for her to peek back at you and see you are still looking at her.
It won’t take long to see quite a few girls will give you a second glance. This means she is physically interested in you. So, if you make a move, you should at least be greeted with a nice, big smile.
It’s funny to note that, even on this fourth level, most people aren’t conscious of what they are doing. Often, when you ask them about the double glance, they won’t even remember doing it. It means her brain was probably full, and she just didn’t realize it.
Never forget, the unconscious mind has a mind of its own and will always look for the things it finds attractive. That’s got to count for something, right?
Fifth Level – The Look
The look or the gaze is the final level that can occur unconsciously. However, it normally happens knowingly. It’s simply when he looks at you longer than “normal” before it gets too creepy.
This means the gaze lasts at least 3 seconds, and it remains unbroken. If it’s desired, it’s a wonderful sign. If it’s not what you want, then it’s creepy.
Learn how to hold the stare and you are opening the door to finding clear interest, using just the eyes.
Sixth Level – Genuine Smile
With this level, you have eye contact and a stare or gaze, and you add a smile. When the eye lock tells him you’re interested, throwing in a smile signals you find him totally attractive.
If you happen to be receiving this sixth level and you ignore it, you’re missing out big time.
Seventh Level – Sex Eyes
In this level, the guy makes solid eye contact with you, hangs onto it, flashes his pearly whites, and keeps it coming. When a man is smiling and staring continuously, it means he’s past the interested phase, and he’s ready for the “take me to bed” phase.
This move is straightforward, and you either act on it or you don’t, depending on your personal wants and needs.
When this isn’t what you want, it’s totally creepy. If you don’t approach this type of man, he will come to you. If you are a guy and a girl is giving you these loud and clear signals, then you better jump on board, or you’ll miss the train.
Eighth Level – Dreamy
When a guy has fallen head over heels for you, that’s a level eight status. This occurs when you are with a guy and he’s always staring at you with those “love-drunk” eyes. It’s that special look that usually happens after you’ve slept together.
This takes time to develop and almost never occurs before the first month.
Of course, it means nothing if the feeling isn’t reciprocated. Research shows this is what most people are after in a relationship, a real connection that can’t easily be broken.
Ninth Level – Nut Jobs
This last level is more about experiences than an explanation. This type of person doesn’t even have to be there to be seen. It’s the girl banging on your door, drunk, at 2 AM. Or it could be the guy that got your name tattooed on his chest with a little heart. These nutty people won’t stop and say they will do anything to be with you forever.
Lucky for us, most nut jobs eventually fade and turn their messed up emotional insanity onto another victim. All I can say is RUN!
Time to look at simple pointers to help you nail the act of flirting with your eyes successfully!
Did you know that up to 80 percent of the information around you comes via your eyes? That’s according to relationship experts at Daily Mail.
You use your eyes more than any other body part to communicate with the rest of the world, including your love interest.
Your eyes are almost twenty times more sensitive than your ears, and they are so highly tuned they will unconsciously notice when someone is looking at you before you realize it.
Pointer One – Try The 4.5 Second Scan
Studies show a normal scan of the face lasts 3 seconds, whereas a scan for 4.5 seconds means you’ve caught this man’s eye. If you are making eye contact with someone for more than 10 seconds, you are either going to hit it off or you’re ticked about something and are about to have a big fight.
When you lock eyes for a long time, you are tapping into a deep emotional reaction. This triggers your nervous system to get moving, increases your heart rate and blood flow, and surges specific hormones. In other words, it gets your motor running.
Most people understand, if a man is watching you, he’s generally interested. If you feel the same, you’ve got to return the favor.
Pointer Two – Glide And Set
With this technique, you just let your eyes glide around the room and settle back on him after he’s noticed you were watching him. This eye message tells him you are attracted to him, and you’ve even done a quick check of the room for competition, and he’s still your number one pick.
Another tip is to break eye contact first but make sure you do it by dropping your eyes down and right back up to catch his or her gaze.
This pointer happens quickly, but when you are consciously aware of it, you get surprisingly accurate results.
Pointer Three – Three-Sided Flirting
Research shows, when we look at a face, we look at different parts, depending on what level of attraction we feel.
When you look at someone in business or at a stranger, you generally make a tiny triangle by moving your eyes across their eyes and then lowering them as you scoot across the top of the nose. If you are in a friendly scenario, your triangle will become wider because your eyes slip under the eye level and include their mouth and nose.
With lovers or people you relate to on a deeper level, your triangle will be even wider, lowering below the mouth and including the breast, shoulders, and other good parts.
When you take the flirting up a few notches, this triggers your eye contact to become more concentrated during your triangle gaze.
Your eye lock will increase in speed, with long moments of mouth staring. It’s perfectly normal for your eyes to spend time scooting out to the side at the base of your triangle at various times.
Pointer Four – If You Like Him, You Need To Blink
I’m sure you’ve watched a cartoon or two where the girl showed her crush how much she liked him by batting her eye lashes lovingly. Science says, when someone looks at you and likes you, they tend to blink more.
This is because your brain interconnects fast blinking with discovering a person who is sexually attractive to you. It makes sense; the more attracted to them you feel, the more you’ll blink. You can take advantage of this one and consciously use it for your gain.
If you increase the times you blink, the person you are with will blink more too. If the guy likes you too, he’s unconsciously going to make sure he’s blinking at the same rate you are.
Keep in mind, this isn’t perfect science, and just because he’s not falling for your blinking tactic doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not into you. Follow your guy and connect the dots.
Pointer Five – If You Want More, You Just Have To Wink
All you’ve got to do is pair a subtle wink with a sexy smile and you are letting him know you are very interested. Learning when to wink is highly effective when you are looking to get across your attractive message.
When you consciously slow your wink, studies say this is more useful than the faster version.
Time for you go give it a test drive, don’t you think?
Let’s have a gander at tip-top body signs you can use with eye contact to figure out if he’s got the hots for you!
Tip-Top Sign One – Pay Attention To The Feet
It’s true; you can figure out whether a guy likes you just by the position of his feet. When his feet are pointed directly at you, it means he’s interested in you and he’s not threatened by you at all. If his feet are pointed away from you, it’s a clear signal he might just be getting ready to head out the door.
Tip-Top Sign Two – Silky Smooth Body Movements
When he moves quick and awkwardly, it’s a signal he might be nervous or a little out of your league. However, if his movements are confident and smooth as silk, he’s relaxed and set to have all eyes on you.
Tip-Top Sign Three – He Leans Toward You
This is another strong body indicator that the man sitting across from you is really into you. When you are attracted to someone, you naturally, and often without even knowing, will try to get a little closer into their personal space.
If he’s leaning into you, it’s a clear-cut sign he might just want to smooch with you.
Tip-Top Sign Four – Magical Brush Touch
When a guy accidentally on purpose brushes against your shoulders or your hand, it’s a rock-solid sign he’s attracted to you. This sort of touch isn’t obvious, so when it doesn’t happen, you need to be aware.
He could also be testing you to see if you feel the same. If you pull away from him for some reason, of course, he would take that as a negative reaction. But, if you brush touch him back, you’ve probably just taken things to the next level.
Tip-Top Sign Five – Confident Eye Contact
We’ve touched on his, but it’s worth another mention. When two people are attracted to each other, they will look at one another. Along with that, you’re going to hold eye contact longer than you would with an acquaintance or business partner.
Try not to stare back and hold the gaze just long enough to let him know you are interested.
Tip Top Sign Six – His Body Faces You Fully
When a guy wants a cute girl to know he likes her, all he’s got to do is turn his whole upper body toward her. Don’t try half-turning your body because that will send mixed signals. When he is facing you, he’s showing you with his body language that he is giving you all his attention, and that’s a magical thing.
Tip Top Sign Seven – Voice Tone
Studies show, when men and woman are attracted to one another, they naturally have a voice pitch change. A man’s voice will deepen when he’s attracted to a girl. On the flip side, a woman’s voice will get slightly higher.
This is a subtle, subconscious way of letting each other know the hormones are rising, and the masculine and feminine are in showdown mode.
Tip Top Sign Eight – Hands To The Face
When two people like one another, the hands seem to go to the face more often. If he’s stroking his cheeks or smoothing his hair, it’s a good indication he is attracted to you and wants your undivided attention.
You don’t have to rely on words when you are figuring out whether they like you. There’s a lot to be said when it comes to the power of the eyes.
Use these tips and pointers on the power of the eyes, along with the other top signs he’s attracted to you, if you are serious about figuring out whether he likes you.
Every little bit of information helps.
Have fun putting together the pieces of your romance puzzle.