It’s not like it used to be when it comes to breaking up. Before the Internet, we used to wonder what our ex was up to and where they were in life. But now it’s extremely easy to find all this information out and, even worse, it’s extremely easy to stalk our ex to the point of obsession. But here is why you need to quite stalking your ex girlfriend for good, whether you want to get her back someday or not.
1. How Can You Move On When You Are Focused On The Past?
First, stalking your ex girlfriend is not healthy for your ability to move on from her and get a new life going.
When you are constantly being reminded of her and the times you had together, it can feel almost like you are still engaged in her life, even if you are not. It’s hard to form a new life away from her when you are technically still engaged in her life on some level.
Therefore, if you can still see what she is doing on social sites, then do whatever you have to do to stop looking at her on social sites. Block her or get off the social site, but whatever you do, don’t spend any more time living a life that is not there anymore.
2. If Your Friends Find Out…
Second, if someone finds out you are stalking your ex girlfriend it will make you look pretty silly and desperate. It is not a good image to portray.
Even though everyone admits to doing it on some level at some time, it still seems creepy when someone else does it. It’s kind of like picking your nose – even though it may be okay for you to do it alone, other people will look down on you if you do it right in front of them.
3. If Your Ex Girlfriend Finds Out
Lastly, if your ex girlfriend finds out that you are stalking her, then she may not be as flattered as you might think she would be.
She may, in fact, be creeped out that you are checking in on her every move, and she may become paranoid about what you know or don’t know about her.
If it starts to affect her life in the way that she has to wonder if you will know about their every move she may become resentful of you, and your chances of every having a decent relationship with her again will be out the window.
Worse…
Even if your ex is not creeped out by the stalking, she will still feel something that no one wants their ex to feel – powerful over you.
Your ex will feel like she has control over you and what you feel, and she may try to manipulate that in some way to her advantage.
For instance, she could post pictures that she wants you to see or say things that she knows will have an effect on you. She can literally play you like a puppet and make you angry, sad, depressed, or desperate for her back – depending on how she uses her power.
So, if you are stalking your ex girlfriend, just move on with your life! It will make you feel better in the long run and help you gain control over your life so that you can move forward to a happier and healthy relationship.
Kevin says
I’m never dating again. I found what I was looking for and she left without saying why. Furthermore, why say yes , have some rough times and not talk about it ? I don’t get it , and I’ll never Date again.. I was looking forward to a family with her. Why do I have to let go of someone I searched for all my life. I hate the this world other people can’t mind there own fucking buisness. Yes I miss her, yes I care about her , yes she’s gone. And maybe I don’t want to get on with my life, maybe people in this world should have better morals too . But that doesn’t help me. People make mistakes and deserve a second chance , I don’t care who you are .
Steve says
Are you speaking te her again if i may ask?
Mart says
Fair play and fair comments I feel your pain
Scott says
I’m in a bad state at the moment. I had a girl I’ve always wanted all my life. But somehow we both broke up, I won’t say it’s totally my fault, but she always claims to be busy whenever I want to talk about our future and asks for time. I gave her enough time, but one day I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to call it a quit. I never knew my life will be empty without her, I’ve begged her for 2 months to come back, but she has refused. I feel so irritated at my attitude of wanting her back. I’m hurt and it feels like my every post is about her and I stalk her a lot. I want to get of from this feelings, but I don’t know how to, pls any help or ideas.
Michael says
Hi Scott
I feel your pain mate ,I have an ex girlfriend who I felt was perfect for me in many ways I gave all my love and attention to her . We had a roller coaster relationship over 2 years but couldn’t leave each other , I spent so much of my time post break up chasing her big mistake I stalked her by driving past her place to see if she was with someone .
It’s so wrong to stalk but I couldn’t stop until she emailed me saying stop it was making her feel anxious so I did , I have started ni contact and will be very solid on the no contact with hope that she will rethink our relationship. I don’t want to move on I believe we still have a chance , during the last few months I have watched hours of relationship coaches theories and I finally stumbled across attachment styles….very interesting reading. I have recognised I’m an anxious attachment style person and my ex is avoidant attachment style …it’s a toxic combination but very common in relationships ….I’m the desperate needy guy looking for validation she is the type that puts walls up when the relationship gets too close, all the symptoms / signs of the avoidant come out in her to the point it should have her photo attached to it…it’s not a bad thing and not a game breaker, I’m still hoping to reconcile with her over time in no contact but it may take months before she even considers this.
I love her and haven’t given up