Knowing what to say to a girl can be difficult. You want to give her the right impression so she’ll like you. But what do you do when nothing comes to mind? How do you start a conversation? Even better, how do you approach personal questions without freaking a girl out? We want to help you avoid the awkwardness, so we’ve put together this collection of questions to help you talk to girls.
Random Questions to Ask a Girl
When you first start talking with a girl, there can be lags in the conversation when you both run out of things to say. You rack your brain, trying to think of a topic that might interest her. But you don’t know each other that well so you’re not sure what to talk about.
And you don’t want to talk about your favorite things in case it’s something she’s turned off by – sorry fellas, but not all chicks are into Star Wars. Although it’d be cooler if she did. I’m sure I just showed my age with that line, but it’s a classic.
Before I start telling you how to use random questions to talk to a girl, let me explain why random questions work.
Women love to talk, just like women love to have a man that listens. You don’t have to bring up a mind-blowing topic to get a girl to communicate. Women can, and usually will, talk about almost anything – even if it’s to say how much they don’t like talking about something.
Breaking the Ice
If you need to get the ball rolling on a conversation, there are plenty of ways you can approach it. You can keep it simple with a “how you doing?” or a “what’s up?” but let me warn you that some women consider this a lazy attempt at communicating and might not put much effort into their response.
Start with simple questions. The purpose is to get an interaction started. When you give a woman something to think about, it’s going to keep her attention longer than if you have short, impersonal communications. Pay attention to her answers and keep the conversation going with responses to what she says.
Don’t waste your time asking about things that don’t interest you. It’s hard to sustain a conversation when you’re bored with the topic. A relationship needs honesty from the start, and this includes your interests.
Random conversation starters
Facebook, or Instagram? – By knowing her favorite social media site, you’ll know where to keep up with her and share memes. She’ll love seeing that you have the same social media personality.
Netflix or YouTube? – Is she into binge-watching or clip stalking? Make recommendations on things she might enjoy watching. Offer to watch them together over coffee or a picnic in the park.
iPhone or android? – Some people think these two can’t co-exist. Who dominates your house? Siri or Alexa? I’ve seen relationships torn to shreds over the mismatch of technologies, so you may want to know what you’re getting into with your girl. But to end on an optimistic note, my boyfriend and I make it work just fine.
Dogs or cats? – I happen to think this is a crucial question to know about someone from the get-go. You can’t have three cats and date someone who only wants dogs. Your pets are your family, so they’re part of the package your partner is inheriting. Everyone must get along.
Make Her Think
Women love to be intellectually stimulated. If you’re taking the time to get to know a woman’s intellectual side, it means you value more than just her looks. When you love a woman for her mind, you’re enjoying all of her – perfections and flaws.
When you show appreciation for a woman’s intelligence rather than being intimidated by it, you’re signaling to her that she can always be open about her successes and achievements. I can’t tell you how many women I know that feel they have to hide the fact that they’re smart because it scares men off.
Trust me, fellas, if she’s got the brains and the looks, she’s the one you want to marry – not dump. If she’s so smart and she’s picking you, that means you’re a lucky SOB, and you shouldn’t forget it. Stimulate her mind with insightful questions like these.
Take a Peek Beneath the Surface
At what age should a person grow up? It’s interesting to see when people think that we’re supposed to have it all together. I am a divorced mom with four kids, and some days, I don’t even feel like I’ve become an adult yet. When it is time to act mature and what signifies being an adult? A house, car, credit card, family?
If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? I love this question because it makes you think about where you see yourself in the future. Sure we all have ideas of what our lives will look like, but have you ever stopped to think are you doing enough to get to that place you want to be? Buckle up, because you’re about to see what matters most about her future.
Would you rather be able to rewind your life or skip forward in it? I would rather see my future than go back to my past. I’ve been through a lot of bad stuff, but I have accepted it and moved on. Changing one thing about my history could ruin everything I have now. For the first time, I’m happy, and I wouldn’t be willing to mess with that. But I wouldn’t mind seeing where all my hard work gets me years into the future.
Talk about Food
Some of you might not realize this, but most women care about food more than you think. Back in my younger days, it used to be unladylike to have an actual meal, but thankfully, times have changed. Now, no one blinks an eye when they see a hot chick cramming down a bacon cheeseburger with a side of chili cheese fries and a cold draft beer. Pretty hot image, right?
My boyfriend has figured out pretty quick that food is the key to my mood. If I’m cranky, feed me. If I’m mad at him and won’t talk, he offers to take me out to eat, or even to cook me a meal. I usually forget why I’m upset by the time I’m done eating.
By taking the time to talk about your tastes in food, you’re storing data for the future when you might want to surprise her with take-out after a long day at work. Or when you want to take her to her favorite restaurant on your six month anniversary for a trip down memory lane.
Keep it Entertaining
Ask her, “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?” I love this question because some people have some very unique answers. Especially for people who have traveled to or lived in other countries.
What food do you crave most often? This can be a powerful question, gentleman. With it comes great responsibility. Now that you know your girl’s favorite food, she’ll expect you to supply it without her asking for it occasionally. Most of the time, she’ll have specific occasions that make her want this particular snack – stress, happiness, that time of the month.
Eat-in or dine out? Some people, like myself, prefer eating in the comfort of their own homes. I’m just not big on being surrounded by a bunch of strangers, using utensils that have been in other people’s mouths. Find out if your girl likes to eat at home or if you’ll be checking out different restaurants each week.
Home-cooked or store-bought? Once upon a time, you didn’t have to ask a woman if she knew how to cook. But nowadays, there are plenty of females who can’t, or maybe just won’t, go near the stove. It’s time to learn how to cook for yourself, or you’ll be spending a lot of money eating out.
Talk about your Families
Most women love getting to talk about their families. If you’re just now getting to know each other, you may not want to delve too deeply into the topic of families just yet. There are more critical things you need to know about this girl first.
But if you’re at a lag in the conversation and you need a topic to keep her engaged, try asking about her home life. You don’t have to get too personal with it. Ask something simple like, “Are you close with your family?”
Knowing if she’s family-oriented is vital if you’re considering a relationship with this chick. Especially if you’re close with your family. It wouldn’t be a proper match to date a girl who doesn’t understand family ties and would want you to turn your back on them for her.
Have Fun with It
Who’s your most eccentric family member? We all have that one crazy person in our family that everyone remembers. By asking a girl about her favorite family member, you’re inspiring her to talk about a happy memory, which can make her like you faster because she’ll now connect that happy thought with you.
Weirdest family tradition? All families have traditions. And let’s face it, some of them might seem odd to some people. By asking her to reveal something strange, you’re showing that you know she has multiple layers to her personality, and you want to get to know them all – even if they’re weird.
Favorite childhood memory? When you start talking about your childhood, you’re opening up a conversation topic that can last for hours. Swapping memories with each other is an excellent way to bond. You’re giving each other glimpses of your vulnerabilities, your life, your experiences.
Talk about Work
One of the most annoying parts of being an adult is having to act responsibly, such as having a job. We all have things about our work that drive us crazy. Ask her about her job. Don’t just ask what she does for a living. Find out what she loves most about what she does. Why did she pick that career?
Let her talk about her day and the problems she faced. Make her feel comfortable unloading her problems on you. She’s not expecting you to fix them. She’ll enjoy getting off her chest. If she had something good happen, celebrate with her. Show her you’re proud of her. It’ll matter to her.
You don’t have to stick to your actual jobs. Talk about the jobs you’ve had in the past. Ask her, “what’s the worst job you’ve ever had?” What is her nightmare job? What’s one position she would never take, no matter how much the salary? The possibilities are endless.
Make it Hypothetical
What’s your dream job? We all have a career in our minds that we would love to have. Maybe it’s a job you’re already working towards. Or perhaps it’s a job that’s in a completely different career path than you’re currently on. Does she want to be a singer? A writer? An actress?
If you could spend one day doing a job, what would it be? Why that job? How cool would it be if you could try out a day in different roles, even if it’s not one that you would want to do full-time? I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but I think it might be fun to spend a day in court as a lawyer, arguing cases.
Talk about Traveling
Traveling is one hobby that almost everyone can agree they enjoy. Whether it’s taking a road trip out of state to visit family or flying across the pond to backpack across Europe, we’ve all got travel stories. Share the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever been to? Where would you like to go? Your favorite place in the whole world? As I said, there’s so much you can ask about traveling. Maybe you both want to visit Asia, or you’re both fascinated with New Zealand. Or perhaps you’re both terrified of flying, so you never thought of leaving the country. That’s fine too. I’m right there with you.
Where’s the Best Place to Be?
If you could only live in one city for the rest of your life, where would it be? I would probably punch my boyfriend if he asked me this because I could never pick just one place. I want to be able to live in different areas. I want to experience life outside my comfort zone – once my kids grow up.
What’s the coolest place you’ve visited? It doesn’t even have to be somewhere out of your area. Maybe she’s got an awesome local hangout spot that will blow your mind.
Mountains or beach? I’m a beach girl myself, but my boyfriend is a mountain man. Yikes. Houseboat or RV? Would you prefer to travel by land or by sea? I’d pick water, hands down. Would you ever want to visit another planet? Where and why? Hotel or camping? Does she like to spend time outdoors, or does she prefer to be pampered inside?
Shopping or site seeing? When you go on vacation, would she rather hit the tourist shops and buy a bunch of stuff? Or would she want to hit the local spots and take in the culture and scenery?
What are Her Views on Technology?
We are currently living in a technologically advanced world where our devices are getting smarter by the day. Does she embrace these changes, or does she prefer to keep it simple? I always feel silly talking to my phone or Alexa, so I’m not too fond of all the new technologies. But I’m coming around.
Is she a high tech chick that likes to have the latest smartphone, even though there’s no difference from the last version, except the insane price? Or is she cool with a model that came out last year? In my opinion, there are plenty of other things I can spend my money on than a new phone every six months.
Online shopping or in person? Amazon has made it easy to buy whatever we want from the comfort of our homes and our pj’s. And retail stores like Walmart, Target, and Kroger are catching on and doing the shopping for you. All you have to do is drive there and pick it up. Or have it delivered to your door. Does she avoid social interaction when she shops, or does she like to spend time in the store?
Book or e-book? As an avid reader (go figure a writer who likes to read), I happen to find this question valuable. When you use a physical book, you’re immersing yourself fully into the story. Whereas when you’re using a tablet or cell phone to read, you can get distracted by notifications and lose interest in the story.
Ask Her Opinions
What’s a technology we currently have that will confuse future generations? Think of how kids today have no clue how to operate a beeper, a rotary phone, or a WalkMan. What is something we’re using that our great-grandkids won’t understand?
Could you survive without technology? A lot of people say they can but seriously give that some thought before you answer. Could you survive without your cell phone, tablet, and laptop for an entire week? Having to remember phone numbers, addresses, appointments, how much money you spend. It’s a lot of work.
What is the technology that we don’t currently have that you hope will be invented in your lifetime? Look, I grew up watching Fifth Element, the Jetsons, and Back to the future. I have to say, so far, I’m pretty disappointed with our current technology. Where are our flying cars?
Tell Me About Your Life
Here are a few questions to ask about how she would describe her life. These are meant to be fun, but if she goes serious with it, don’t be alarmed.
What music genre fits the soundtrack of your life? With my dating record, I’d go with classic rock. “Another One Bites the Dust” could be my theme song.
Do you have a favorite inspirational life quote you try to live by? I have two. One is “Life is too depressing to be stressing on the regular,” as said by Kevin Gates. And “Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive,” which was told by none other than Mr. Ryan Reynolds, as his character Van Wilder.
Do you have a story about your life that could be made into a movie? Seriously, my whole life could be a documentary – well as long as it had an R rating. “How Not to Live Your Life.” There’s been some seriously messed up stuff.
If your life had a narrator, who would it be? I love Morgan Freeman, and let’s face it, who doesn’t. But I’d have to go with Samuel L. Jackson. My life requires way too many cuss words.
What’s Her Personality?
Do you prefer big parties or small get-togethers? It’s important to know whether she’s a social butterfly or a hermit crab. My ex was a huge socializer, and that caused me to experience some situations where I ended up in large gatherings that made me super anxious.
Are you introverted or extroverted? In other words, are you outgoing and like to do a lot of stuff and always be in the middle of something going on? Or are you cool with just chilling at home together binge-watching a new series or playing some Call of Duty? Do you like meeting new people or do you prefer to socialize with people you already know?
Fan or no fan when you’re sleeping? Trust me, folks, this can make or break your relationship. A fan on while I’m sleeping is a must. I will end a relationship with someone if they try and turn it off. Yeah, it’s that serious.
To finish us off, here are a few random questions you can use on a girl that should get you an engaged response.
- What’s one thing you can’t live without?
- If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
- Would you want the ability to read minds?
- If you could time travel, where would you want to go?
Ask Her Anything You Want
Talking to a girl can be scary, but you never know – she might be nervous too. Don’t overthink what to ask her. When you’re first getting to know each other, random questions can be a great way to speed up the introduction phase. The whole purpose of a question is to start an interaction that you can build on, so take your pick from our random questions and get to know a girl better.