There’s a reason for everything and figuring out why you are having trouble landing a girlfriend isn’t always easy.
Besides, if you knew why, you wouldn’t have an issue right?
We are going to uncover oodles of different common and not-so-common reasons why you might be having trouble in the girl department, so you can take action to make positive changes.
After you understand why you are having issues, then you can make a plan to break through your obstacles and find a solution.
21 Reasons You Can’t Get A Girlfriend
One – You Aren’t Trying Enough Times
If you are serious about getting a girl, you’ve got to step up to the plate and hit it like you mean it. Use as many approaches as you can until you land the girl.
Studies say the majority of guys that can’t get a girlfriend just don’t try enough times. In other words, they give up prematurely.
Guys don’t like rejection and if they ask a girl out and she says no, it often takes months before he’ll try again!
Don’t let the sheer fear of rejection stop you from getting a nice girlfriend.
Rinse and repeat. Ask a girl out and get her phone number. Keep doing it until you get a yes. And try not to be too picky because if one girl isn’t going to work for you, then you owe it to yourself to try another.
Two – You’re Too Picky
Chances are you’ve been looking at too many Victoria Secret magazines and they have painted an unrealistic vision of the perfect girl for you in your brain. Having too many set features or characteristics is going to set you up to fail.
Time for you to open your mind and get real. Step outside your comfort zone and take a second glance at a girl that doesn’t fit your perfect picture.
You never know until you try.
Three – Quitters Never Win
If you’re the type of man that quits too quickly, there’s no wonder you don’t have a girlfriend. Resilience is golden in the dating and relationship department.
Ask a girl out and if she’s busy, that’s fine. You can still ask her out again another time. Have a little patience and persistence; and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to actually get a girlfriend.
Think of it from the girls perspective for a minute. Maybe she needs a little time to warm up to you? Give it a chance by asking her again in a week or so and you just might be pleasantly surprised.
Four – You Live In Your Parent’s Basement
Sorry boys, if you still live with your parents, that shouts out to the world, you are a loser. Girls don’t want to go out with a boy that lives with mommy and daddy.
If you are working and can afford to live on your own, you better do it quick if you ever want to have a meaningful relationship. Scratch that, if you ever want to have any relationship at all.
When you live on your own, it’s one of the best routes to secure a girlfriend.
Five – You’re Just A Nice Guy
This isn’t a good thing because “nice” guys usually do finish last. If you’re too nice, the girls aren’t going to give you a second glance.
Stop being too nice and you’ve got a chance.
Six – Hygiene Issues
If you have any kind of hygiene issues, you will never get a girlfriend. Bad breath, dirty clothes, and greasy hair are bad news.
Some girls don’t want a man to be her boyfriend for very specific almost anal reasons, and not taking care of yourself definitely fits the bill.
Seven – You Let Your Insecurities Get In The Way
Everyone has things they don’t like about themselves and some things just need to be accepted or changed. Maybe you’ve lost your hair so you’re going to have to just get over that one. But if you are overweight, you can make changes to lose weight and get happy.
Regardless, you are who you are in the now and if you don’t love yourself, you might never get a girlfriend.
Everyone has flaws and that’s no reason not to have a girlfriend, unless of course you let it get in the way.
Look around you. Happy couples come in all different shapes and sizes. Stop letting your insecurities be your excuse.
Eight – Trying Too Hard To Be Perfect
The girls actually like the men who aren’t perfect. You see, when a man seems too perfect, this puts pressure on the girl to try and be perfect too. Then she’s going to get worried she isn’t good enough and that’s enough to make a girl run far and fast the other way.
Think about this one for a minute.
Nine – Expecting The Woman To Make The First Move
Of course, there are times when a girl initiates the first move but that’s far and few in between.
The Truth is…the majority of women prefer a man to make the first move and if he hasn’t got the balls to do that, she will just move on.
That’s not a challenge, just the truth!
Ten – You’re The Man That’s Always Lost In The Crowd
If you happen to be the guy that hangs out with popular and super sexy strong men, you will be last in the pecking order. So if the men around you are stronger than you, they are shining brighter and your sweet personality will never been seen much less valued.
Don’t put yourself out at the expense of your friends. You will never ever in a zillion years get a girlfriend, if all the talk is about the friends you hang out with.
Something else to think about.
Eleven – You Happen To Shy Away From All Things Social
If you are a social introvert naturally, you’re making it super tough on yourself to get a girlfriend.
Newsflash! If you are serious about getting a girlfriend, you need to step out into the light and go to the social places where girls hangout.
No if’s, and’s, or but’s about this one.
Twelve – You Get Stuck On Your Past Screw-Ups!
If you get all crazy about your past mistakes with women, it will interfere with getting a girlfriend in the now.
Yes, it’s natural to think about how you screwed up but if you really want a girl on your arm, you’ve just got to let it go.
Use your past to learn and grow from, not to dwell on with an interference factor.
You are human and you will make mistakes. Let it go and focus on the positive and you will get your girl.
Thirteen – You Happen To Be Mr. Complainer
If you are a perpetual complainer that yaps on and on about how crappy your life is and how you will never get a girl ever, then you don’t deserve a girlfriend.
Seriously dude! Stop complaining and start talking positive. Your attitude and demeanor will change and trust me, the girls will come.
This one is your choice.
Fourteen – You Just Don’t Have The Logical Discipline To Ask Women Out Regularly
This is a learning process and you need to sometimes just throw your hat to the wind and go for it.
If you aren’t willing to regularly ask women out, then you are choosing all by yourself to not have a girlfriend. Pretty sad if you ask me.
Fifteen – You Are Too Focused On Work For Anything Else
This one is a no-brainer. If you are working crazy hours and not willing to make time for dating and a girl, you will never have one.
Sadly, there are some men that choose their career over having a girlfriend and in the end, they are left with nothing.
Sixteen – You’re Too Chicken To Tell It Like It Is
I’m calling you boys out here. If you can’t make yourself a tad vulnerable and let a girl know that you are interested in being more than just friends, you risk the chance of only being friends and nothing more.
What you need to do is step up to the plate and tell this girl you want to kiss her and that you want her to be your girl. When you do this, she’ll either be head over heels receptive or she won’t.
Don’t you think it’s worth it just to find out?
Seventeen – You Are Seriously Out Of Shape
This doesn’t mean you need to be ripped and have a six-pack! What this means is that you shouldn’t be sporting a beer belly and you should make an effort to have some muscle and a little sexy lean tissue mass.
That is super hot!
You don’t have to be perfect but you need to try.
Truth – When you are in shape, you are showing her you care about your body and that works wonders when you are focused on getting a girl.
Slobs be gone!
Eighteen – You Are Just Thought Of As Icky
Sorry to say, women do care about looks and that’s something you need to stick into your pipe and smoke it.
Yes, a guy cares way more about how his girl looks, but…Girls care too!
A girl does care about how you look and if you are ugly and a slob, she’s just not going to be your girlfriend no matter how sweet you are. Please understand this before you take one more step forward.
FACT – Guys have it SO much easier than girls. All you need is a clean look and some stubble and you can drive a girl crazy.
Stop your complaining and take action. You will win if you do.
Nineteen – No Money Or Potential
There is no doubt that money draws the sweet girls in. I really don’t care what you think, because money is what many girls want.
If you are financially secure, you will get a girlfriend. That might not be fair but that is reality…Trust me.
Women want to be able to go out to a movie or a nice meal without worry. And for bonus if you can take them on a mini vacation without the worry of money, you are golden.
That’s the truth straight up.
Twenty – The Same Stuff On Repeat WILL Kill You
If you are a programmed creature of habit that never changes his ways, you just aren’t going to have a girlfriend.
Girls are drawn to the strong men that are going to take them on new adventures. The men that will step outside their comfort zone to wow her. End of story.
If you want to find your value and perhaps find a girlfriend for real, you need to drop your walls and open them up to opportunity. Then you need to show her and make it happen.
Twenty One – You Are Too Needy
Girls have no trouble sniffing out the man that is needy and dependent. Secret – That’s a total turn-off.
Women are drawn naturally to men that are confident and sure in themselves. The ones that will make bold decisions and put the girl first.
For sure, girls do not want an insecure man that doesn’t know how to take control and make decisions. There are a zillion fish in the sea…that’s fact.
Step up to the plate if you really want.
If you are trying to figure out why you can’t get a girlfriend, you need to seriously stop and consider the facts.
Look through these tips and pointers and see what applies to you.
Take action to change the attributes you need to in order to find the girl of your dreams. Open your mind and understand there will be a bit of a trial and error process. However, when all is said and done, you will overcome your personal obstacles and get the woman you deserve.
Believe it and it will happen!
Well first of all the women of today are very different from the good old days when real love was very easy to find back then for the men in those days. Today unfortunately most women are very selfish, spoiled, greedy, and very money hungry as well. They will only want the very best of all and will never settle for less either, especially since many of these women today are making a six figure income. They will never go with men that make much less money than they make which really explains why many of us good men can’t meet a woman to Accept us for who we really are. And unfortunately we live in a world that most of these women now want the very rich man instead which makes them real users and losers altogether now which most women nowadays just take advantage of these kind of men anyway. And going back to the old days which most women were the very complete opposite than what they really are today which is very sad how the women of today are. So many of us good innocent men out there Aren’t really to blame at all since it is the women of today that have caused many of us men to still be single today as i speak since it really does take two too really tango now.
Timothy Morton says
Spot on my friend! Things have changed significantly since I was dating in the early 80’s. Big-time! Sure, I am 5’7″ in good shape and my finances are in great shape: no, I’m not a 6 figure kind of guy. I have dated many great looking gals until got married in 1989. We were married for 24 years, now divorced 5 years. I am 54 and want to date ladies around my own age, say 48 to 56. It is terrible out there in the dating world. Sure, I’m a little rusty but my God it is horrible. I am picky? Really? Let me guess women can pick and choose but men cannot? I don’t want Playboy or model material women but I do have my standards. I have a home a car and my Harley Davidson. I groom and take care of myself. Online dating is a “crap shoot”. Either the woman profiles isn’t real or she wants Superman. I swear they enjoy the loads of attention or they totally ignore my messages.
Most women just suck nowadays unfortunately which is the real whole problem right there.
Timothy Lorich says
Number 8 contradicts it all. I hate the author, but I appreciate the list. She, obviously, is the epitome of the problem. Oh, so you made a big list of our glaring flaws as men who were wired to want and love you, and protect, and work to support and such—— should be perfect, and simultaneously not try too much to be perfect.
Be nice, but not too nice.
Have a job, but never lose your whipped-ness and always put her before anything else, especially in times of danger.
What they don’t realize is if a guy has to spend his life constantly being rejected, after doing everything he was told by one woman to do to become dateable, is not what the next thousand girls want at all.
Every girl wants a guy that I’m truth doesn’t exist, if it appears to, there’s plenty of lies in there, and probably visa versa.
I am in a really rough situation because I have traits that are not desired according to the list, but not because of the reasons it assumes must be the reason for living in my parents basement, and being kind and not overly concerned about fashion and the chatter mill bullshit that comes with the keeping up with the Jones’s syndrome.
Most women today are crazy SJW liberals. And despite what the author says, women always have it easier. Women just have to be thin, men have to be athletic, rich, assertive and a doormat simultaneously, the list goes on.
Neil D says
You have some good points. Too many women (and men) looking for unicorns. You can thank the all too common soulmate ideal for this. Grant it, most of the things on this list are things we men need to avoid, like being shy, picky, needy, and passive, and I certainly could use some work on some of those things. But it isn’t fair to not expect women to reciprocate by abandoning perfectionism and doing their part in being more datable as well.
The contradiction in the list between not trying to be perfect (#8) and actually trying to be perfect (the rest of them in a sense) is particularly interesting. I think this is an example of how women can be more prone to being indecisive or how they change their mind a lot. It’s like they’re not as strongly inclined to decide what they want and stick with it. And feminism gives not only men, but women an extra burden they were never meant to bear. Many of the traits that are desired out of men based on this list are actually things that stem from the patriarchy, that specter that continuously haunts the feminist. I don’t know what you think of The Federalist’s political views, but I think this article makes an intriguing case that what women really want is the patriarchy:
BTW, if anyone is afraid of this being a sexist man’s argument, the article was written by a woman.
So even if a woman influenced by feminism is rather repulsed by a man who wants to take charge at first, she very well may change her mind about it when he leads and does so with a benevolent purpose and manner.
Carey Macleod says
Wow. Wonder why women don’t like some of you guys. I guess it’s better to live in a delusion than look to your self. I haven’t had any kind of relationship of any length for 20 years. But I know there are lots of wonderful women. I am the reason for my fate. Hope none of you decide to buy a van.
Was just going to write something similar Carey. No wonder these dudes are single, this attitude just screams incel. No wonder women are running from them.
your right on target , couldnt have said it any better
Jacob Raya says
Yes dude!!!!!!! Even though I’m only 17, I feel like relationship status for people from ages 18 to 25 or 30 are very slim to last more than two years in this decade. Sadly, even with the most potential, money is the big part. I mean, I try, play guitar, drums, bass, and acoustic guitar since that is apparently the most romantic, by the way I play all that because I was in two bands. But besides that, being too nice which I find hard to believe is just flat out stupid. What girl wants a guy that has pericings and tattoos all over himself, or has none of those things but is a complete douch and treats them like trash, and they still stay with them. But oh well. I just stick with my music days in and days out.
Here is my list after 40 years of this shit.
1. If she seems like your friend,it’s too late she won’t be your Girl Friend. Girls want friends guys and girls….guys don’t, they want a girl.
2. If she laughs at your jokes or asks lots of questions that are odd she likes u.
3. If she knows your favorite drink or food , or knows how u like your coffee , she likes u.
4. Be nice? I was, a girl dumped me said I was too good for her , no reason given. They don’t want a man like that because it’s like a dog and his master relationship. Women can’t stand being worshipped. Makes the man look weak.
Trust me on this one, it’s seems like it wouldn’t make sense but being too sensitive and kind and not getting mad never worked for me.
5. If you have to keep trying over and over again…don’t. Just keep living life, yes give up ..yes GIVE UP and focus on reading, play the piano, watch movies, travel. A woman will come along. Women are a lot of maintaining, and as a guy you will get back very little. Yes you get back, but the over all burden of kids, risk, home , job, life, your really better being single. You can always have a casual relationship with a girl that likes you, that’s why those types of romances work, cause they are spur of moment and exciting. Girls do it all the time, they just make it seem like they hate it when guys do it. How many times do you see your girl co worker talking to guys and laughing and flirting. How many guys do you see with that behavior?A lot less I guarantee.
6. Be the flame not the moth. Read memoirs of Casanova. It’s great for understanding the bullshit women put out.
Let the women pursue you, never pursue the woman. And if your worried, but but I might lose her, that’s fake news. If she doesn’t pursue you, your screwed and will waste all your time being her shitty friend.
Alan B Watt says
Ok that’s great advice. Be the flame not the moth. I feel better.
I see guys who are broke having hot and gorgeous women in their arms it’s not always about money it’s about a skill of attracting gorgeous women.Some guys work I’m low paying job and have luck with women on the others hand there are guys who are financially stable who don’t have luck with women,women use them for their money the very same women will keep those guys in a friendship zone and go back to a dead beat loser and come back to a guy with money to vent to him about her boyfriend who is a jerk and broke but wants to keep a guy who is financially stable in a friendship zone
Timothy Laverne Smalls says
I see that
Aristide Uwiduhaye says
Eddie Tjeda says
Dating women is so easy . We attract who we are period. Maybe ones choices in women have not been carefully selected . Men can’t pretend to have money and not have a financial foundation . If one does guess what type of gals one is going to attract ? Instead focus on ones inner happiness , overall well health , Love yourself for who we are . Go out learn an art . I frequent Salsa and Latin dance studios , I go to dance socials as much as I can …Studios and dance socials cost pennies and no most of these settings are nothing like bars and nightclubs . Believe me when I say the quality of the woman is mind blowing ..You can go to a club if you like but by that point you’ve already got a large social group of woman in your circle because of your ability to dance and be in the social group of the art. It takes ton of courage to get out there and dance but you know quality women are more than receptive to a man with art and courage …Forget the sports car , the fancy over expensive suits and watches , forget the expensive bars and clubs and go downtown to Latin Dance studios and woo women with your new learned skills of Salsa !!! I assure you this is the game changer !!!!
I ask and get told to “F off” or they just don’t want to know, I must of asked hundreds of women and they all say the same thing, I don’t even bother now as it’s a complete waste of my time as I get absolutely nowhere
This is the best comment. these threads always make it out to be the guys fault. Usually written by some chode male or feminist pos. it’s a very dark world we live in now . Women are nasty two faced liars, fit for the gallows never doesn’t matter how you act it’s all fast fire hook ups that end anyway, if it goes any further they use you as a human atm and cheat. Also it’s all about who can cheat on each other and lie the best.
Carey Macleod says
In this column it is the guys fault. In columns why women can’t find anyone, it their fault. Why women don’t like you is possibly because you hate them. Sad.
I agree. This post is heavily feminist and are pinning and making men think its them. Sometimes, its the woman. Not that everything in here is wrong, but this post was written in pure emotion. Most women are just lost and dont know what they want for themselves and cry back to their exes who beat them because its most likely the man they want in their life.. And trust me, some girls love that.. And no one can deny it, if you do, youre just as bad as the person who wrote some of this “information” in this article. Wake up society! Look at the good minority!
Carey Macleod says
I will never find love because I have had depression all my life and was never able to get a career or job and live with my parents. Had 2 girlfriends in my early 30’s but had no money and having a source of income is important. You could be the best boyfriend/husband in the world in every area but if you have no money and your depression constricts your ability to accomplish anything then a relationship is impossible. I have had no relationship longterm, casual, one night, in twenty years. I could go on but you get the idea. So 12 things mean nothing if you aren’t a functioning grown up.
Do you know how many jobs out there are 10 an hr??? What the hell do you want a guy to do???!!! Not everyone can get the good job
This piece ignores the 80/20 rule. Where you have 10 men and 10 women, 8 of the women will pursue 2 of the men. Women will share a desirable man rather than have one guy all to themselves. I have seen it.
So 8 men theoretically have access to 2 women. But one of these two women may be uninterested in the remaining 8 men, or she may be so difificult or demanding that she is undateable. So 8 guys are competing for 1 woman.
Finally, if you are in the bottom 80% even if you do everything on this list there is a good chance you want even get a date, let alone a girlfriend.
I didn’t know this platform exists until now I woke up at midnight and ask myself why can’t I have a girlfriend which I ask Google and the director me here I was thinking I am the only one though I am black guy from africa I left africa for Europe 5 years ago I came to Europe 2014 now it’s 2019 back the in africa when I was 19 to 21 years I have 3 girlfriends they are very stunning they don’t makeup but I have just only one of the 3 girls that I really wanted to get marry because she has good character though all have but I love her more until I left africa to Europe now I am 28 years old because I planned to make money then get the residence in Europe and go back to Africa and marry my lovely girl it was too late I didn’t even tell her I was leaving Africa to Europe until she find out that am in Europe she couldn’t wait for me because she also feel I might not come back for her but my plan is to make money and go back to marry her but unfortunately for me I heard from someone that my girlfriend is now married and already had a baby it was very heart breaking I don’t blame her but myself because I left her to travel without telling her and she can’t wait until I make residence to come back my plan was to surprise her but it turns out to be a big loss for me.why I am writing this is because this girl love me because in africa there are 2 classes of girls one is the one that believe in your future the other is the one that on follow the already made future so they don’t want to suffer with poor man the one that believe in your future want to suffer with you because they believe one day you as a man you will make it so this is what my girlfriend think of me they are the most beautiful girls I ever had,the girl in africa that follow men that already made it are this type of girls that live and extravagant life infect I call it makeup life but this type of girls don’t end well in africa they divorced easily their husband end up chasing them away from the house are you surprise in africa men Chase their wife away from the home if the woman had bad character behaviour only the humble lovely women that struggle with her guy before he became rich can stay in a marriage for long period or till death do them part.now I am 28 years old 4 and half years here in Europe I have not seen a lovely girl like my ex girlfriends in Africa first I am very shy person I don’t woo girl back there in africa my girlfriend made it easier for me to woo them in fact they woo me with their gazes. I don’t woo girl because rejection can make me feel depressed so I don’t woo girls.but here it very difficult to get girlfriend I have read some comments and they are right.in Africa you can get a stunning girlfriend even if you are the poorest or ugly person in your community because most of these girls are God fearing and proper home training they believe you will make it one day though many are now practising European style in africa if you have a small room and you just hustling to pay the rent you will still have girlfriend flowing around you and want to settle down with you.the fact is due to the stylish tv digital lifestyles here in Europe it very difficult to get a reasonable and responsible girl this is because makeup have ruined girls life the have made Kylie jenner very rich please let me advice you if you see any girls that wear expensive makeup run away from her because this type of girls will not accept you to be their girlfriend if you don’t like like HD tv guy the ones they see in the movies how can you expect a real man to look like HD before you can accept him to be your boyfriend this tv so called stars wears makeup and properly dressed while on camera remember all the so call beauty you are seeing are just digital.even when this makeup extravagant girls hook up with a guy they don’t last long in that relationship because they know there is toy to continue and they have lot of pet dogs and cat tv movie fame styles fashion have all make this girls of the western world confused if you ask them their types of man they don’t even have answer to it even if they tell you their idle man God almighty himself don’t have that type of man as an angel in heaven.100 percent of the western women only 10 percent know what they are doing and this 10 percent are all married and had babies this is why it difficult to find girlfriend those girls that doesn’t makeup and live normal life natural life are the ones that can accept a man to it difficult to find them because they are all almost married get to find one is like looking for a golden egg .will though I am a steet guy still without residence no job still roaming the street people still tell me how good looking and stunning I am most girls and women so with it I was thinking a girl will walk up to me and said I like you can we be friends like back then in africa it 4 and half years in Europe no girlfriend at 28 .a lot of people wonder why I was always in the street because with a good looking guy like this you can be lucky and have rich girlfriend I used to see alot of guy that aren’t even up to my standards have stunning and rich girlfriend I wonder how they did it some say it is troughs clubs and others says they guy spend money to get them but for my case I don’t have money I don’t like club either. I want to say even if you are ugly and broke or good looking and rich you will get a girlfriend but it will be difficult if you are ugly and very poor because I told you the girl that will love ugly and poor man are already taken only few are left and they might not be in the country you live in or the state.the world has gone digital and girls want digital looking guy and rich too but there are some girls that date and marry ugly and poor guys getting this girls is very difficult to find and finding them is like trying to win a lottery jackpot because almost all are taken already.if you use a dating app you are almost wasting your time because you will end up have depression dating app are full of criminals,fraud,and girls that are doing business you may never get attention if your picture doesn’t look like that of densel Washington and must of the girls are fake girls with extremely stunning,most messages you likely to receive are from perv,fraud,trans,gay,married couples looking for 3somes.don’t try to impress any woman some guys try to impress women by having clean shaving or wearing nice clothes but nowadays most women will be impressed when you look like that guy they use to see in the movie,when you are famous or getting to being famous and have cash to spend and also they like those guy that like smoking cancer saying it cigarettes and they love that guy that every woman admires his looks.nowadays girls don’t want to have boyfriend because they love you they want boyfriend that if you go out with them other girls will be jealous and peeing on their pant because he is hot this are the makeup extravagant stylish girls of these generation
Jesus, dude. Paragraphs are a thing.
What do you base this statement on? It would be difficult to assess how selfish or altruistic on average women in past generations and the present are. In both the past and the present, there have long been many selfish males. Most of the women of my acquaintance do not match your description (I have many female friends, but alas as yet no girlfriend).
Larry Hurst says
I am not gonna say that all women are like this but I have to agree that more women now a days are looking for this with more secure financial jobs and those with somewhat an athletic body. Unfortunately, a lot of us men with also how the internet amd parts of pur government has labeled men as sexual predators, it’s hard to really land a girl. Yes depending on what you are after, some of us guys go for the 7 out of 10 kind of women while some go for something less to the standard of their specification. So doesn’t a man have a right to choose what he wants? Of course the things on this list do respectfully fit some guys but a lot of us decent guys do get used as friendship poles to lean on when some girls date someone who treats them like garbage and yet returns to him. It really hurts as well when a girl you are interested in tells you that you deserve better, and yet you aren’t able to find that. A lot of times when you do everything rights such as fixing your attitude, having good hygiene, etc still it ain’t enough. At times, it is painful to be lonely and after every attempt there is so much you can tolerate when you let the girl you like you have feelings for her but she might describe as a creep or desperate or doesn’t even want to know that you have the cupids for her. Its really hard to really attract someone anymore.
It’s not money bro that gets them – not in the western world anyway, in Asia ok yeah. I have 6 figures and i’m single all my life not by choice. Explain why the guys in “The big bang theory” who earn 6 figures are single? Same reason i’m single. It’s actually making them laugh, bantering, and over excessive levels of confidence that matters most. Women want to feel validated. And the way they feel validated is when they win over a guy who “appears” like he gets all the women because that makes them feel good about themselves. They need someone “better” than they are to feel good about themselves and when I say better, i mean that guy would in society be perceived as a better/higher ranking guy. A IT nerd who earns 6 figures is not in society considered “better” even though he is wealthy. Women don’t actually need money when they already have it. The reality of this is guys who don’t have money are actually getting the ladies who just walk around and act like they can get any women they like. I’m wealthy, but I don’t look like the kind of guy that gets ladies which in turn makes me not get the girls.
Greetings Kate please respond ASAP. You mentioned in the above article that if a guy is not financially secure then he will not get a girlfriend and let’s face it the more attractive she is the more money and status she is expecting from a man. Currently I am broke. But I am working on my CPA license to change that and within several years I will be making a decent salary. IF in the meantime I meet a highly desirable and high quality girlfriend (currently i am broke) and ask her out on a steady relationship will she give me a chance considering my situation will shift with time? Or does she want a guy who is ALREADY financially stable and makes decent money beforehand? Thank you for your kind attention.
In your situation, being broke shouldn’t scare the girls away. If you are in school and broke, that’s a different story. It means you have goals and ambitions and that’s attractive (even though you might be broke at the moment.) If you would work in a fast food restaurant and wouldn’t have any other goals in life to better yourself and your finances, then you would most likely not get any quality women.
So by that, women are money hungry and if they were so sucessful with having so much cash, they would’t care what a guy did for a living. Or is it his cash they’re after to support a Alist lifstyle ???
I’m not sure what to think about this I’m in a different situation than most guy cuz the only time I’ve had girlfriends is when girls asked me out u say that the guy has to imitate but guys in my region are able to get girlfriends cuz the woman shows interest in them forst but that does not happen for me im muscualar and exceraise and lif weights and everything I’ve been told I’m good looking but I’m only 5 ft 6 and the gf I had that was only 2 times and it was just minor and I was treated badly I’m a guy who’s kind of shy with approaching strangers but I have still been able to ask out women I have met b4 and i have messaged a ton of gorls on dating sites but almost never get a reply wen i do their not initirested in dating sadly everyone rejects and I know it’s not from my shyness and not initiating cuz if made lots of male friends without initiating I’m not sure if I will ever be able to fix this because everything else seems to be improving in my life except for this 1 area no matter wat I do different I still don’t get laid or don’t get girls i have the cleanest house of anyone i know while my friends houses look like a pig stie and they still get girls maybe its cuz i livd in a white trash city there are girls here that even date meth heads and abusers my mom who is now deceased never got to see me have a real gf she died from cancer wen she was 53 I feel guilty about it there was the occasional time she asked me if I was gay or if I was interested in girls other women in my family have thought the reason is cuz I’m not interested in girls or that I don’t notice them but the real reason is cuz I simply can’t find anyone who is interested my mom mite have been in shock if i make it to 25 and still have this problem she never knew the real reason cuz i didnt have it in me to tell her i thought she would be worried or i was to em arresed to admit to it so I was wondering if I should tell my family the real reason I don’t get to date so that they don’t mistaenly believe that I’m gay? I recently exceptes to go out on a date with a man who asked me out i will see how it go i have tried as much as i can with women it just never works i will be 22 and men around me who are just unattractive or strange looking are getting gf I can’t deal with it I have decided to move on to men there the only ones who ever treat me respectfully and are there to support me women never have been I’m starting to think they just don’t want me I feel I was meant to be born gay and I wish I was cuz my dating life would be a lot better I smoke weed and go out drinking with friends to help me feel better the only thing i can think of is that im nice or i havent asked enpugh ppl but its cuz i have a 100% failure rate srry for spelling errors I wrote this on my phone with auto correct lol
Hi, I’m sorry you are going through this. Don’t stop asking women out, rejection is just part of the game. It doesn’t matter if you are a guy or a girl, everyone gets rejected from time to time. When approaching women, try not to think about the rejection, rather think about your best qualities, and avoid looking desperate.
Hi Kate – I appreciate your encouraging words, but how can you advise John to keep trying when he says he has a 100% failure rate? I’m in the same situation as he is – I’ve never even had one date in my life, but have kept on asking and approaching for many years without getting even one phone number. Obviously, some of us cannot be sexually attractive to any woman – this much is clear. I have lots of women friends and have no problems connecting with women as a friend – but that’s it – nothing more, and no woman ever wants more than friendship with me. Why should guys like me bother trying when rejection is always (100% of the time) guaranteed?
I don’t want you guys giving up even if you have 100% failure rate. If you give up, then you have no chance. If you keep going, there might be a little chance you find someone. Men have to work harder to get women. Check out this article where a guy swiped right on 200,000 women and got 150 dates only http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/tinder-man-swipes-right-on-200000-women-with-little-success-a7168056.html. I would recommend doing online dating, maybe not free ones like Plenty of Fish or Tinder because if it’s free, women will get hundredths of emails and your chance of getting someone would be slim. Try Match or eHarmony. Tell your women friends that you are available and looking in case they know someone, and ask them to look over your profile for suggestions.
You’re doing a great job. Guys seriously need all the encouragement they can get these days and I can see why a lot of people in general lose faith in their ability to find someone.
Dating can be complicated and sometimes even terrifying but the rewards it can reap are priceless and can become treasured memories that we can take with us to our inevitable grave.
In my situation it’s not me I’m a great guy, have everything I want, I’m in college planing to study more after my program and I have close friends. But every time I ask a girl out it’s automatic rejection and it’s really starting to get me down, I think it’s cause girls don’t want to give average guys like me a chance and want the Superman that social media is portraying men that they have to look like this and like that. And frankly if a girl doesn’t like me for me she’s not worth my time. Why pretend to be someone I’m not and live a life of lies it makes you fell worse in the end. Have I given up hope Hell No! But given the fact I’m 19 and been rejected by soo many girls I’ve lost count it really affects my mojo from time to time.
“Check out this article where a guy swiped right on 200,000 women and got 150 dates only ”
So Kate, with that above statement, I don’t know how you can seriously think men have it easier than women in dating.
What’s even more funny is that when I went to Asia and showed it to some Asian women in Asia, they were shocked. They were like “That guy is handsome”. Western dating is a bad deal for men.
What if said guy is in a professional wrestling school but still broke
Kate, I see that you made this article when you were very emotional ( obviously because of the errors in logic). If I were you I would stop being so delusional. You want men to be able to afford to go on adventures, pay for fancy restaurants, and go on vacations but they shouldn’t work so hard? That makes no sense, look I don’t know what little world you live in but men do not have it easier than women. You want Men to pretty much be able to balance everything perfectly like being assertive and being nice and also to become exactly what a woman wants, at the same time try to not be too perfect because that forces the girl to try to be perfect herself? Why can’t girls try to be perfect? How about they pay for something or make a decision for once? Or maybe don’t expect Prince Charming to come sweep you off your feet and give you a life of luxury. Many lonely women such as yourself would be much happier in life if you just took some responsiblity and approached Men, at least a little and become financially independent. From seeing this post you live in a fantasy world where women shouldn’t even have to lift a finger in the dating world. It’s a pathetic way to view the world and very spoiled. I hope you can grow up and see how the world actually is.
Promise Michael says
This is exactly my situation, i’m 22, i only had 2 past relationship and it was a very bad experience. Sometimes i think i’m a gay also, but i can’t see myself practicing it, but this time i guess i will go for it, because i have currently tried to get a girl, but out of the 3 i asked out, 2 rejected and 1) never say anything, but instead refused picking my calls and stopped chatting me up. So, i’m so depressed. PLEASE, I NEED ADVICE
I’m not sure how to respond to your piece – it is hopeful but unfortunately, for me unrealistic. I never approach or ask women out because rejection is always guaranteed – not just today, but forever. I have a very well paying job in a wonderful profession, own three residences outright (and rent 2 of them), and take good care of myself (diet, exercise, wlb, etc.), but no woman has ever shown any interest in me whatsoever other than as a friend. I have many women friends, but none of them could ever see me in a sexual light – and there is, I believe, nothing that can be done about this.
Since some of us are guaranteed outright rejection by every woman every time, there is no point in asking any woman out in the first place. I don’t fear rejection because I know that it’s guaranteed (it’s a given) – I accept that every time I approach a woman, no matter who she is, it is 100% assured to happen – so I just don’t open myself to it. If there was even a tiny chance that a woman would say yes, I’d enthusiastically ask her out – but there is no chance of that, so I never say anything.
I would suggest you try online dating. You wouldn’t have to approach women in person and you could email to hundredths of them. It’s not easy for men, check out this article where a guy swiped right on 200,000 women and got 150 dates only, and ended up single anyways http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/tinder-man-swipes-right-on-200000-women-with-little-success-a7168056.html.
Try Match or eHarmony or maybe some Christian sites if you are religious. I would stay away from free dating sites like Plenty of Fish or Tinder. Since they are free, women will get so many requests and your chances of meeting someone would be slim.
Also, tell your women friends that you are available and looking to date in case they know someone. Moreover, ask their opinion about your dating profile.
Hi Kate – thanks for your reply.
I’m not trying to be difficult but if a guy swiped right 200,000 times, he must have had a LOT of free time on his hands. My career – quite reasonably – prevents me from developing that sort of addiction to particular websites.
I have indicated to several of my women friends that I’m interested in meeting someone and dating – they respond, almost universally, that I’d make an amazing boyfriend, and that’s all – no suggestions, and nothing has happened.
Regarding online dating, my understanding is that to have any hope of success, one needs to include photos of oneself in a profile. I have many social media profiles, none of which have any images of me on them. Since I will not put a photo of myself anywhere online, I assume that would disqualify me from having any chance of meeting anyone via that medium.
If you have any other advice, I’d welcome if. Thank you in advance.
I guess you didn’t read the article. The guy is a software engineer and he built a bot that would automatically swipe for him and even send the first emails. I don’t think most people have that kind of time to be swiping 200,000 times.
Yeah, if you don’t want to put photos of yourself online, you will have very little or no success regards to online dating.
Do you belong to a church? Some churches have groups for singles to meet. There are even different religion dating sites out there but that would require to fill up a profile and adding photos of yourself.
Hi Kate –
So I guess what you’re saying is that I really have zero chance of finding a girlfriend other than via online dating, and since I don’t post photos of myself anywhere online for any reason, I’m basically doomed to remain alone.
If – in your view – this is the case, do you have any thoughts on coping mechanisms for a lifetime of loneliness?
By the way, I do not belong to a church.
I’m not saying you have zero chance. There are other places you can find a girlfriend than online. How about these places:
Sports team (if you belong to any),
Starbucks or any other coffee shops,
Libary or bookstores,
Salsa classes or any other classes (yoga, art, cooking, foreign language classes etc.),
Speed dating events (most bigger cities hold these events).
Or do you have any single neighbors you can ask out?
You can also try online dating without adding any pictures of yourself. You will be less successful but you might get some replies back. Never hurts to try. Online dating has become just so popular and convenient. Seems like most singles nowadays are on some kind of dating sites.
If you are depressed and lonely, you should probably see a professional who can give you better advice. I’m not a therapist. However, having a pet may help with loneliness. If you travel a lot, you could get a cat. Your house wouldn’t feel so empty and lonely. Or get a dog. Dogs are very therapeutic and always happy to see you.
All of what you say is true. But I’m afraid that it just shows how hopeless I truly am in the woman department. I am 25 years old. I have autism so it’s hard for me to pick up on social things. I have been bullied my entire life because I’m different. I have a very low paying job where I lucky to work 20 hours in one week. I am also not very good looking. Yes I do complain a lot, but I’m just sad about my situation in life. I honestly just want to cry all the time. I know have a lot to fix, but I just think I’ve dragged my feet too long. I don’t even know how to drive a car! I don’t have anything to offer except a Cinderella story if I ever could find a girl. I’m sorry for saying all this, I don’t want to be a bother. I just want love, and I just want to be happy. I’ve at least finally accepted that I might never find a girl because of my situation. Wish me luck, because for me to find a girl, I’m going to need all the luck the world has.
Anonymous guy Number Two says
I know exactly how you feel. I have autism too. I was bullied by kids too. I was also bullied by some of my school teachers and one of my principals. After I graduated I was hospitalized and was in a group home for a while. I had six and seven different diagnoses for my condition and the doctors screwed my brains up on medicines I didn’t need. I’ve lived with Mom my whole life except for the group home and hospitals. This was about 28 years ago. Now I am former member of Crossroads Clubhouse. I am a master gardener/composter volunteer for Michigan State University Extension. I also write fiction stories and music. I now have a very special love. Her name is Shannon. She’s special needs too like me. Two things come to mind: One is negative and the other is positive but it takes both. One is you got to know your luck. The sort if thing that happens to you and what doesn’t. What you can do and what you can’t do. The other is you can never really tell when God may open doors for you.
Anonymous guy Number Two
Well first of all the women of today are very completely different from the old days which very much complicates things for many of us good men still looking to find love today. Most women are very picky now when it comes to relationships since most of the time they really want a man that makes mega bucks and they will never go with a man that makes a lot less money unfortunately. The great majority of the women now are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky just like i have mentioned already, narcissists, and very money hungry which tells the whole true story right there. And now with so many women today that have their careers which they really think they’re all that as well but they’re a real joke anyway to begin with. And it is these type of very pathetic loser women that will only want the very best of all and they will never settle for less either since it is all about money for these women nowadays which makes it very sad. It is these women that are just real users and losers in the first place since they will really take advantage of men that have money anyway just to get the real expensive gifts that these men will buy them. So this is a very excellent reason why so many of us good men really can’t find a good woman to just Accept us for who we really are which is why many of us are still single today because of these real pathetic loser women that are everywhere nowadays unfortunately. And most of us single men by the way Aren’t really too blame for this since it is the type of women of today that have really caused this mess to begin with in the first place. And now you have most of the women that just don’t have any respect at all for us men as well as having no good manners either when many of us men will try to start a normal conversation with a woman that we would really like to talk too. They will just be very nasty to us most of the time and walk away as well since they usually always look very depressed and mad to begin with anyway most of the time. And the ones that are always in a hurry will just say to us that i have to go. Like they say it really does take two too tango now. It was just too very bad that the real good old fashioned ladies are all gone now since they were the very complete opposite of what these women are today which it definitely would’ve been much easier finding love back then with no trouble at all. And now i can really see why our family members were very blessed when they found one another in those days since it was a very different time for them.
Advising guys to actually ask a woman out is telling them to risk being charged with a criminal offence. Just flirting with a woman in Western society could be – and often is – construed as sexual harassment. I’m an extreme introvert, and have never tried to flirt in the first place – I am certain I’d be an abject failure no matter how many times I tried. Added to this, the very real potential for legal issues to arise from my trying to show a woman my interest in her takes it out of the realm of the possible.
Jeff Bettencourt da Silva says
If your scared of problems, you will never get anything you want in life. Life is solving problems not avoiding them.
Hi Kate – you say, “If you aren’t willing to regularly ask women out, then you are choosing all by yourself to not have a girlfriend.” You don’t quantify exactly what you consider ‘regularly’, but I’ve been asking 4-5 women out per month for over 20 years, and have yet to get a yes (i.e., I’ve never gone on a date), and no woman has ever asked me out either. I take good care of myself, am financially successful, own my own place, etc., but nothing ever happens and no woman has ever shown interest in me either. My woman friends always say I’d make a great boyfriend and have no idea why no woman has ever gone on a date with me; they I’m just very unlucky and haven’t met the right person yet. OK, I say – I haven’t met the right person to marry – but fact:.I’ve never even been on a date. They don’t know why this is… I’m pretty much finished with this and feel I have enough proof the conclude I’m just not attractive to any woman. Do you have any thoughts?
Where do you keep asking women out? At the bars?
I ask women out in all kinds of venues – not including bars because I don’t go to bars or clubs because I’m not into drinking, sports or loud music. A few of my woman friends have – on occasion – seen me asking women out and getting rejected – and I’ve asked them what it is that causes literally every woman to say no. They say they have no idea, so I’m at a complete loss at this point and really don’t feel like going out and being rejected yet again. Maybe I’m just not attractive to any woman.
Your woman friends would know why you get rejected. They are lying if they say they have no idea. They are women, and they know. Most likely they don’t want to hurt your feelings and tell you the truth.
Have you done online dating? You might get better luck asking women out online.
Ask your woman friends to look over your profile and choose the best pics for you.
I think you are pathetic. Looking through your long comprehensive text I already begin to picture what type of a guy you are. So you have said you have attempted to ask out at least, and this is an absolute minimum here dude, AT LEAST 960 women over the past 20 years+, and you claim they have all rejected you. Maybe you are ugly, maybe you are a meatball looking ass mother ****er, maybe you are autistic, I’m not here to comment, but that sheer amount of girls will certainly have got you at least a few yes’ no matter how tragic you are out oif even sympathy. You are not telling us something here my friend. You seem to be complaining on here and looking up answers to your never-ending issues, and that tells me you have no self esteem and you hate yourself. Problems you made here: 1) You are giving up saying you can’t handle rejection, well that’s just pathetic dude you don’t deserve a girlfriend if you are giving up, 2) all you seem to do here is justify yourself and complain, trying to justify supposedly that you have done everything right in life and it is really the 960+ women at fault and not you, which is clearly not true…
Anyway whatever the issue here, it is obvious to me you are doing something wrong, VERY wrong, if you have been rejected by 960+ girls and whether you are ugly or not, you would have at least got a few interests from that sheer amount of women. Identify your problem and change it my friend. Giving up brings nothing but sorrow.
Your comment shows how much of a non-empathetic person you are. Who in the hell wants to date someone like you or wants to be friends with someone like you?
F*ck off, Adam.
Your mother thinks you’re a mistake.
Nobody cares what a total loser like you thinks, Adam. The OP is obviously a guy who has deep personal issues to work through when it comes to women. Tbh I wish I could help him – and so would a real man (which you are clearly not). And you poke fun at autistic people ?!?! Wow … you really are a compete a**hole – I hope a woman sues your sorry ass in court and you lose everything you nasty little bastard.
Don’t lose hope, I’m on the same page as you. You probably didn’t meet a woman who was worth your time, bad luck can happen, unfortunately. It doesn’t matter if you’re good looking, amazing at social events, etc. If you feel that you’re wasting time on someone who doesn’t value your qualities, it’s time to ditch them. Just continue to search until you find the right one.
Roustam Baimatov says
Yep, many of those reasons describe my personality quite well. I am too much into my music project, and I don’t have much money, and I still live with mom and daddy. So, I understand why girls are not in rush to date me. I never had a girlfriend and I will never will. No girl would ever agree to choose me as a her boyfriend. Only if by any chance I became a milliner, which is never going to happen. I hope I made you laugh a loud. Please do, because suddenly I realize I don’t mind it.
I agree mostly, but not completely. My mom kept going back to my father, even though he was dirty, skinny, lived with his parents and even beat them for drug money. He attacked her with a knife, and threatened to burn the house down while me and my brother were in it.
He never had a job beside the army during a civil war. Actually, she was wealthy at the time and supported him.
I know many such scumbags that gain the blind, passionate affection from women that successful men are most likely never going to experience, but of course these parasitic relationships always end in disaster, even suicide or murder if the woman does not smarten up before it’s too late.
On a personal note, all the girlfriends I ever had were when I was skinny, 120 pounds. now I am in great shape, 150, but can’t get any attention. I did not even shower regularly back then, twice a week at most (I know, gross) and had no job.
I don’t know how to explain why young women fall so strongly for men the don’t meet any criteria of success, as long as they are “wild boys”.
Nick Ricketts says
Well this is very one sided to how the writer see things. You try too much you’re desperate, you don’t try enough you’re scared of rejection. Truth is… if you’re too “yourself” (like everyone tells you to be) you’ll fail. If you have a mediocre job, no kids, of you don’t want kids or to get married, you’ll fail. You have to be what women WANT you to be. And as we will never know what women want 24/7 we will fail at getting a girlfriend. Then, after you do succeed, you have to MAINTAIN that girlfriend. By pretty much being what she wants you to be. It just ain’t worth it. Just get heaps of decent p..rn and be yourself. No women come to me anyway. They never did and I’m 38. Maybe I’m too old. I get told I’m good looking and I dress great and smell nice. But that’s not what women want. They’d have a fat, bald and smelly guy if he’s willing to be a lapdog.
Hi Kate I would never do online dating anymore. Because I was scammed in the past and it hurt my life. After I been through this I felt giving up on women. I never had a girlfriend. I don’t even approach women since of my past. I have a square face and big jaw bones. I feel that is not attractive to women on how I look. And a big nose to. I’m very shy and can’t approach women. I feel they would reject me the way how my face looks. I have been called rude names in the past and it makes me sad. I don’t go to bars because not into drinking. I’m skinny also and most women don’t like my size. I’m also hearing impaired I don’t know if women can handle my hearing loss. Also what I don’t like about dating sites women are shallow on their profiles. They are not interested in my height. Or want a man bigger than them. Do you see why I feel like giving up .
Peter Jansen says
Can I advice more men to go to escorts and have fun. Yes the emotional part is never going to be there but if woman are going to avoid us then it’s only natrual to pay for fun. I this this article is good as it confirms what women are really like.
Are women this delusional?
Anything feed your ego I guess.
so basically, if you’re anything but what fits into these “boxes” of what a women wants – you’re f..d!
Echo Starr says
Well, one issue for me with this article is that I’m a girl 🙂
I’m attracted to girls as well, so I would really appreciate it if any of y’all would take the time to make an article for women that are attracted to women.
And to the men calling women delusional and picky?
Kindly stop <3
Fact guys have it so much easier than girls? If you are a pretty girl, life is handed to you on a plate, guys have to work that ass off just to get some girl to at least smile at them smh
For those of us who are extreme introverts and who aren’t used to approaching women and hooking up all the time, it takes literally every ounce of courage we have to approach women at all, even just to say hi. From the time we’re teenagers, we see overzealous girls who will call it sexual harassment and try to ruin a guy’s reputation if he so much as says hello. No, that’s not an exaggeration.
I remember being 18, standing around for a bus, asking a woman who was probably 23 for the time because my phone was dead. She went off on a rant, apparently perceiving this as a pickup line, and judging me of course unworthy, even though I just wanted to figure out when the next bus was. And every time I said “sorry to bother you” she’d go off again. “what kind of man says I’m sorry!!” It’s women like that we remember, when we think about saying hello, and it just shuts us down completely. There are many more stories I can recall right now of that sort. The fact is, I’m now 31 have never so much as held hands or kissed a woman – and of course I’ve never been asked out by a woman either.
So my question is – why would I, or any other guy – take a 50/50 risk of being screamed at and called a creep in public, and / or accused of sexual harassment with all the ensuing destruction to all areas of my life?
Maybe not exactly too similar of a scenario, but this reminded me of a time when a woman was in my way to refill my 5 gallon water container at a water refill station a few years back. I simply said “excuse me,” then she immediately turned around and looked me up and down and said “Um….no,” not seeing my water bottle and the fact that she was simply – in my way. Then I pointed at the refill station and she proceeded to say “Oh, I’m sorry….I thought you were trying to…..” I just cut her off right there, gave her a half-smile and then completely ignored her. At the time I was very fit (bodybuilder type), I’ve always been attractive for about the last 25 years or so (before that I was kind of a quiet nerd), and I have perfectly straight white teeth as well. There was really no logical reason for her to have “rejected me” under the false misunderstanding that she had of her thinking that I was trying to “get at her.”
In short, some women will simply show themselves to be entitled, spoiled, arrogant, stuck-up, racist and/or just have terrible taste in men. The issues that they have with you can at times be just due to the fact that some of them just get WAY TOO MANY advances from guys on a daily basis (it doesn’t help when women insist on giving guys advice to keep on being so persistent when all it does is keep on falsely inflating the egos of women everywhere), so they really just think that they are more special than they actually are.
Women have to realize that most guys are out there putting themselves out there acting like they are into every woman that they decide to break the ice with are really, for the most part, just trying to get a piece from any woman that chooses to give in to their advances. Not enough women want to admit, as of yet, that most men that decided to talk to them didn’t due so because they were their first pick. Most of these women weren’t actually anyone special to these guys. Women need to get themselves of their thrones already. Their heads have just gotten way too big for their own good.
Given the fact that makeup usage has increased over the last few years in excessive amounts it appears that women are really more insecure more than ever before and might be rejecting guys at times just because it makes them feel more powerful. Just like when guys used to beat on women in the past more commonly years and years ago. Just kind of a release. Just to vent on the weak. I believe that this is why a nervous guy gets rejected more often than a “confident” looking guy by women. It isn’t really “confidence” though. It’s really just an attitude of “you won’t hurt me if you reject me.” So if the woman feels that they won’t hurt the guy all too much, then she is bound to not reject him as easily as she would a “weaker looking” guy.
The guys in here that get rejected in such high numbers shouldn’t feel all that bad. Some of these women are losers anyways. Just a bunch of hurt losers.
Dave johnson says
This artical made it seam like women are not actually human at all, that they have no qualities that are valuable or non superficial.
I don’t want a woman to like or love me because of the money I have, of corse I want to make money to help look after us and our family (if that was to transpire)… But why would a well paid job or being ripped or changing my personality to someone who is overly flirty or confident or outgoing going to EVER help me?
Cant I just be myself and expect that what I am and what I want is good enough for someone?
Then I first meet a woman, I don’t think about the way she’ll serve me in the future… I don’t assume that she’ll be the same shape for the rest of her life, I don’t want her to be somethjng she’s not or do a load of things to make herself unhappy, pressured and have huge expectations from her.
I want to get to know the person she is, her likes and dislikes, her quirks… What makes her laugh, her dreams and her nightmares… Her flaws and emotional and physical needs, hobbies and interests… I want to share time with her.
That’s the most important thing if you ask me, everything else will and does find a way if you can find that bond.
martin fennell says
I believe there are plenty of women like that, and guys too.
THE WHITE KNIGHT LIVES!!!! jesus christ……
All you need is an attractive, good looking face. Being in shape, financial security, social skills, personality, and interests don’t mean much. A girl can get over all that just as long as you have the looks
I would agree with this. Despite being very social, having lots of friends including females, economically secure with my own place I find despite trying that I have now been single for 30 years with a 100% rejection rate. I have had some very bad rejections with girls being offended and saying that thing has dared to speak to me on more than one occasion. I often getting chatting to girls for them to say your friend is nice can you introduce me. My female friends never have any avialiable friends for me saying your not there type. My friends have told me that the problem is that I have an ugly face and no matter what I do I can not change that so I will just have to accept being single. Your article also says the same if you are ugly forget it. Ive tried online dating for 4 years with zero responces to my request, and no views apart from 2 gay men. Any advise would help as I approach my 30th year of being single
i totally understand what you are goin through and feel for ya. find other things in life that make you happy. dont let women destroy you or that
I am a young man in his 20s. I consider myself to be very good looking, I have had some ladies ask me if I was a model. Unfortunately I live in a semi rural part of the northeast and it seems like it isnt so much the rejection I have experienced as it is the lack of dating opportunities available. I probably am on the shy side though I get an average of 3-5 girls numbers a month. Now I am aware of the texting rules, limit double texting, never triple text, engage in interesting conversations, whatever. I am also aware of different rules I have picked up from pick up artists like using the cold approach where you talk to random women in public casually and ask them a question or give a compliment or whatever. Im terms of Tinder, I am honestly not a fan of that service, I have gotten my fair share of matches though it goes nowhere even when I iniate the convo and forget about dms on instagram. Some methods just don’t work.
Though I feel there is something I am not recognizing. Should I try meet ups? Should I consider looking for older ladies in their 30s and 40s? I also really want to make a good impression on a girl, unfortunately I am finding ladies who simply want to be single. I hope something will work out soon. Thanks!
Hi, you can try some other dating sites as well, like Match, eHarmony or if you are a believer, you could check out some Christian dating sites.
All women are GOLD DIGGERS, they don’t see past the MONEY. You’re better off being single.
michael Liebers says
Well you want to be very careful in meeting women they can be dangerous just like fatal attraction when Michael Douglas met Glenn Close in that movie because well I’m lucky too be alive a crime victim too three women. So enjoy meeting women look for warning signs especially when drugs and alcohol play a Role and abuse starts get out right away.
Who fu..ING cares says
So you want me to work my arse off to go on fancy trips, way to expensive dinners, and other bs, then ask the same girl out over and over again, then to top it off dress like a different person act completely diffrent for a tiny relationship. Whoever wrote this just one message go f..ck yourself. You do realize the one benefit from relationships is sex. This whole complicated process is completely insane. If I’m not completely perfect and not perfect some bimbo doesn’t want me. This just seems to much, if anyone wants ass go to a stripclub, hookers, be a pornstar. You get the picture. And if you get STDs well you should have worn a condom. You know a relationship is temporary insanity cured by marrige. And let me tell
You something your absolutely insane. I can see some parts are true like hygiene, having balls to ask a girl out, or moving out of your parents house, but then you say take her on an adventure, that’s where it’s like what the hell do you think this is. If you wanna go on an adventure go into the army, you’ll learn honor respect , real fucking disipline. And if you come home in a body bag then that’s your problem. Shell shock may be scary but only you can help yourself forget those horrid expierences.
martin fennell says
i agree, but not all counties/cultures belief that living at home is bad.
The usual stereotypes of Western women…
1) They’re all greedy and selfish. Perhaps that’s your reflection on what you perceive to be your own shortcomings. Not everyone cares for or even wants a grandiose lifestyle. I like a nice quality lifestyle, but try to keep it prudent and within reason. I don’t have a car or a TV, for example. My mother certainly is a selfish b..ch, and bled my father dry, but she is actually insanc.
2) Back in the old days women were so much better. How do you know? Were you around? Thought not. Women were just as crackers then, except that one couldn’t go on the Internet and complain.
3) “Foreign women (particularly Eastern European and Asian women) are so much nicer”. Let’s just say here that my Dad married my German mother after a 4-month whirlwind courtship, and spent 40 years regretting it. Language barriers do not help and foreign brides/ wives are as likely to screw you for everything you own as natives…you have been warned. At least with natives you can have a proper conversation.
I think one problem is that both men and women view each other as objects too much. Heck, if they actually made an effort to try to be friends with each other, rather than hook up, they might actually find themselves in a fulfilling relationship – and by the way, real-life relationships are key. Internet dating is a waste of time.
To the first paragraph: I can agree with you that when someone mentions that most women are greedy and so on its mostly irrelevant. It’s sad when people are greedy and many people are, but I don’t think there’s a difference between sexes.
To the second paragraph: We weren’t there in the old times, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know. When I see how my grandmothers treat my grandfathers and my whole family, I wish I could have a girl who would treat me and my family equally as well, but I’m afraid it’s not likely to happen.
To the third paragraph: Germany is not eastern Europe. The culture in Germany is very different than in eastern Europe, their culture is western. The point in getting a foreign girlfriend is to take a girl from country which is significantly poorer than yours or from one where is more patriarchy, ideally both. Germany does not fulfill this when compared to USA, nor any other country. So your German mother is not relevant. It’s true that there is a language gap, but if you don’t choose the first pretty girl that goes your way and aim for a more educated one (e.g. one working in an international company, who is speaking English half of her worktime), it shouldn’t be a big problem.
The idea of friendship and romantic relationship together sounds really cool, I always thought that and I tried two times, but I ended up in friendzone both times. I totally agree that dating app does not sound as a best option, but I’ve never tried, so who knows.
What I need is an article on 21 reasons (or even 1, really) on what benefits a woman could bring to my. Because I honestly don’t see any. After reading this, I now have 21 more reasons to avoid them.
I’ll give you some of mine.
1. I would like to have kids one day and kids need mother and father. I think I am in some aspects a cool person and it would be nice if there was someone like me even when I die – my kids. I think I could stop right here, because this is good enough reason to get a girl.
2. It’s nice to have someone who gets your back.
3. When I get home from work tired, it would be really nice to have someone waiting for me, who is glad to see me. Ideally also prepares dinner for me at least from time to time.
4. Taking care of someone who likes me sounds like something meaningful, I would like to do for most of my life. When you don’t have a girl you can have all the money, a nice car and a lot of freedom, time for yourself and everything, but what’s that all good for? I want my life to have some deeper meaning. I don’t want to live just do drink beer go to work, go to casinos, sleep with prostitutes and die.
5. You can kiss her and have sex with her.
6. Your relatives don’t ask you if you already have someone.
7. When she has her own interesting life, she can teach you new things, show you new hobbies, sports, places, people…
There are certainly many more reasons, I’m just too lazy to continue writing.
I’m 37 and have never had a girlfriend or sex – or even been kissed. I’m not the kind of guy who’s willing to pay for it – which is the only way I could ever have any form of physical intimacy. No woman could ever want me, so I never ask women out because rejection – at a bare minimum is always guaranteed – if not worse (she’d likely run in horror, and/or accuse me of harassment just for smiling and saying Hi).
Online dating is a complete waste of time for me – no woman would ever look at me – and if I were to message a woman, there is no chance whatsoever I’d get a reply. Other guys get dates, girlfriends, etc., because they are attractive men – at least to somebody. I am fundamentally unattractive to women, so please don’t tell me that dating is a numbers game, to gain confidence, or to put myself out there and get rejected 10 thousand times. There is zero chance any woman could be sexually attracted to me, so there is no point in trying.
Don’t feel down, buddy. I’m on the same page, so I can relate. You’ve been unfortunate and didn’t find a woman who had qualities/standards. Keep searching, no matter how many times you’ll fall. Just don’t give up.
martin fennell says
Is this only related to young people; A woman I know who is in her fifties, and lost her husband, said she wanted someone who didn;t drink or smoke.
I know another lady who married to someone who is quiet overweight. He was when they met.
Women are interesting creatures. When I was 18 I was broke; however, in fantastic shape and could get most women that I wanted. Now, being 24, making well over 6 figures, owning a home, and being in the best shape of my life I cannot find a single girl that works out after the first date. Maybe my standards are too high. But is it to much to ask for a girl to be good looking, in shape and have a good career? I’m not sure, but ide love to know the answer.
It depends on how you define good looking, how you define in shape and what does a good career mean to you. Maybe a good thing to do could be to try estimate how many percent of women you see around you, not only the ones you go to dates with, meets your expectations. Then you can ask yourself the same question and possibly answer it yourself.
The girls these days are too shallow. All they care about is looks. If you’re not hot then there is no point even trying to find a girl, they wouldn’t give you the time of day unless you are good looking. They all live in some kind of fantasy world. Delusional all of them.
I grew up hearing my mom and my older sisters complaining about men hitting on them ( which to me is like complaining about people giving you money and makes me feel like worthless cause women don’t)
So I decided as a child I wouldn’t be like that. I leave women alone. I NEVER hit on them , flirt with them etc..
That’s what you want right?
That’s the message you send every day loud and clear.
I wish ALL men would just stop for a decade or two until the dating world is more equal. Right now it feels mote like looking for a job in a bad economy, women are the employers looking for the perfect employ7ee willing to settle for less.
Better off alone.
There is no point in guys like me approaching a woman because rejection would be guaranteed every time – and no woman ever approaches me either. The reason for this is that other guys (introvert or extrovert) are much more attractive than I ever could be, so as long as there are other guys around, any woman will pick them and ignore me. This is how it is.
Well, that pretty much cuts all men on the autistic spectrum out of the picture, how non-inclusive.
Ah so only 17 are a real problem for me and 11 of those are hardwired into my personality. Great news! Time to throw myself of the nearest skyscraper?
Sad chap says
Bro 20 of them relate to me. Now I know why I’ve been single my entire 38 yrs miserable life, except 2 weeks.(that did not last as she thought I was rich). Almost 20 yrs ago. All I ever seem to get is you’re disgusting…. not a chance. …. is this a joke…. too poor for me …. too rich 4 me…… and last bite….. after making a compliment to a friend of several years she responds who is this? She actually had me deleted on her WhatsApp. But I must come running when they need lift, the cars broken down etc….. I give up….. to top it off friends who are girls see pics in my 20s and say should have been a model…..they never tell you why they think I’m undateable. ….. anyway if you have not jumped yet and need a jump buddy I’ll be available
Hi, in early 20’s here. After reading this, I can be more or less certain that my life is going to be a loveless one, this makes me not want to live it any more to be honest, someone to hold is all I’ve ever really wanted. I didn’t realize girls were so fussy, personally I don’t mind all that much how they look, or how much money they’re on, or how insecure they are etc.
I find it peculiar how you’ve given us a very meticulous list of this to perfect, one of which is “try not to be too perfect”. The rules of logic do not apply here it seems.
About the living in ur pareny reason I don’t know if the exception of I live in country where teenager or even college students still live with their parents is an exception
With most women nowadays that sleep around with so many different guys all the time which they will never find the time to only stay with one guy anyway.
If only women – including the writer of this article – knew (i.e., had the faintest clue) what men go through.
I’m a fairly attractive guy, and I’ve done virtually all the initiating and “pursuing” in my life. Ive finally gotten to a point (in my 40s now) where I’m done trying. It’s just too scary/painful to go thru all those steps anymore, dealing with rejection, etc. I would much rather know women on a friendship level.
I wish I’d been a rockstar or something so I could know what it’s like for women to approach me.
Throughout my life I’ve found that when I was the initiator, women expected me to continue it – continue calling, asking out, taking the initiatives every time … and when they hadn’t heard from me for awhile, if they did call me, it was always, “I haven’t heard from you.” Like I did something wrong by not initiating AGAIN. All I wanted was some balance in the back and forth but it seems women in my world were programmed to respond, never initiate.
It just felt like I never was good enough and I’m tired of doing it. So the next time a woman asks, “Where have all the good men gone?”, my answer is, “I’m focusing on living a more balanced life – something that dating never felt like to me.”
How do you respond to this, Kate?
If they didn’t really put in any effort to call you too then most likely those women were not really interested.
OK … and your advice to me on how to move forward would be?
Before you answer, think what you’d say to a woman who had been through experiences where the guys she’d been with had taken advantage of her … for years. Would you blame the guys or her for her situation? Would you advise her to keep trying even though she’s pretty much lost her ability to trust guys? What process would you suggest she follow to get her ability to trust men back after feeling manipulated for so long by people she thought cared about her?
I would suggest you talk to a therapist. They have better answers for you.
I love u kate
I’ll be honest, Kate: I find your response disappointing – I responded to your comment that the women I invested effort in were likely not interested in me by asking for your advice – and you tell me to seek professional help? You’re the one who has a site on relationships, so that’s why I’m asking you. So I’ll ask you again: what advice do *you* have?
I don’t have enough details about your relationships and what you have gone through so I’d suggest you to seek professional help. There are online therapists you can talk to https://www.betterhelp.com/start/?help_with=Relationships
Wow! What a waste of my time! Now I’m depressed! You’re a horrible person Kate67. If all women are like you, and I’m pretty sure that they are! Then I’m happy being alone!
Alfredo E. Newman says
Though for once, a woman is being direct and honest regarding what women truly want … the advice given regarding getting a girlfriend is flawed in one simple way …
Don’t get a girlfriend at all. Especially anything long-term or “permanent” (a false hope word when it comes to relationships). My advice, rent women, don’t date them. And for God’s sake, never-ever sign a long-term lease/purchase agreement (otherwise known as signing a marriage contract). The quid-pro-quo cost/benefit analysis works out FAR more favorably for men to rent women for short-term needs than to sign up for a downward spiraling subscription commitment.
As a young woman it is so interesting reading the comments here, since among my friends in couples it is mostly the women who are the main bread winners (something which has just turned out to be coincidence in most cases). The qualities they say they appreciate in their partners tend to be support and the odd romantic gesture. I was also the main bread winner in my past two relationships- the only time it was a problem was if we wanted to do something as a couple but my partner couldn’t afford to pay for himself but didn’t feel comfortable with me paying for both of us. Saying all women are gold diggers is maybe akin to saying all men are interested in is sex with young hot girls? It’s horrible really when lots of people of both genders would love to be matched up but just haven’t met the right person. I have been single for a yeat and am admittedly a bit cautious about entering a relationship again. The things I am looking for most in a man are intelligence and humour, but it is hard to get talking to people in certain circumstances and I have had no luck online as yet. I am pretty and nice (I hope!) so I would like to think it is just a case of bad luck as of yet. Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that decent women won’t just be interested in your money, just as decent men won’t just be interested in a woman’s body. Let’s hope there are lots of decent people out there and we can all find someone eventually!
That would be great, Amy – but the reality is, there’s no point in me approaching any woman because rejection is guaranteed every time – and no woman ever approaches me either. There has never been one piece of evidence in my whole life that even one woman has been interested in me at all – women just aren’t attracted to me. Given that there is 100% chance that rejection (or worse) will happen if I so much as smile or say hi, I don’t do it. The painful fact is, other guys are – or can be – much more attractive than I ever could be – they can attract women but I can’t – so any woman will by default pick them and ignore me. This is how it is. Good luck to you.
You lost me at working to hard then saying not having any money. And another thing yeah I am picky because there are shitty people like you out there I wouldn’t touch with a 10 foot pole. Living with your parents really?I didn’t realize you had insight as to why they are?Maybe they’re trying to establish good credit so they can get a decent place? Did you ever think of that Of course you didnt. I feel sorry for any who looks at or looked at you twice.
Bryan Peele says
I have tried a lot things that has cost a lot of time and a lot of money. Now I have gotten older and no so optimistic and I have admittedly stop trying. What many do not understand is that if you are in a relationship (no to be too general) then do not take it for grant it. But understand that not everyone is a magnet. I am alone, but if I could change it I would. But to those who are not alone understand that not everyone is so fortunate and appreciate what you have (easier said than done). But those who want to try to tell that I am not trying hard enough or then you really do not understand and have not even tried to.
There has never been any evidence that any woman has the slightest sexual interest in me, so I never ask women out because rejection is always guaranteed. The message to guys seems to be, ‘get rejected thousands of times if necessary – there is a woman out there who’s waiting to say yes to you’ – but in my whole life, I’ve never seen even one shred of evidence to support this. Women either ignore me or only want to be a friend.
Literally none of these acrually applied to mr so wtf am i dupposed to do???
I’m a High Schooler and I find no time for a girlfriend. Does that mean I’m a looser? No. Does that mean I have nothing? No. I have a prominent position in the most prestigious musicians group of my high school. There are more important things other than getting laid, people.
Well with most women nowadays that are very pathetic low life mentally disturbed losers altogether which makes it very difficult for many of us men really looking for an honest relationship today. Most women now have no manners at all to begin with, and a very horrible personality to go along with it as well. And God forbid for many of us men just trying to start a normal conversation with a woman that we would really like to meet has really become so very dangerous for us now as well since many of these women will be screaming sexual harassment. And i had a woman that Cursed at me for no reason at all when all that i have said to her was good morning and how is your day going. And i know other friends that had similar experiences with these type of women as well. So it is very obvious why so many of us men are still single today with all these type of women around that are very much too blame.
Think of walauigi, except without the fanbase. That’s what it’s been looking like for years over here.
Malleus Mallefic says
Women are genetically programmed to go for dumb muscle Man. Which was necessary in 10000 BC, but in civilised Societies females have to be guided by an authority when choosing partners. Otherwise they are picking the wrong dudes an create degenerate offspring. Thats why every civilisation in history didn’t let women choose by themselves.
Since the cultural Marxist revolution of the 60s and the sexual “liberation” Women are giving birth to greater morons every Generation.
We have to put women back in their place or they will destroy our civiliation on the long term.
I hate my life….I will never get the girl of my dreams….,based on what I found in this article I may be too icky to get her…. So what is the point anymore? When ever I stare at someone at the mall they gave me an angry face…..putting myself out there? What is the point if the one I pick gives me the angry face look? whenever I remember their faces I lose more faith and confidence… Why bother try to talk and make the first move in the first place?
Thank god for p*rn and my hand… i wont find her either brother
Guys like me are consistently told that “There are millions of women out there, many of whom who would love to be with you!” I have no idea how the people who write articles about dating can honestly say that about me when they know nothing about me. In my case, there is zero evidence to support this claim. No woman has ever, and I mean literally ever – shown the slightest interest in me – not in high school, college, graduate school, or in the years I’ve been working – not even one woman, once. We’re also told that contrary to popular belief that guys initiate contact, it is in fact more often the case that women initiate by giving guys they like subtle signals that they want them to approach. And we’re also advised that learning how to date ‘successfully’ (reduce the number of rejections a guy gets) is closely related to learning to read women’s body language so as to approach the women who are signalling their interest to us. My question is, if I NEVER get signals from any woman, why should I bother approaching at all – since rejection is literally guaranteed every time?
Most women are just very stuck up and very pathetic altogether now unfortunately which most women in the past were certainly Real Ladies and very easy to meet with no trouble at all, and they really were totally the opposite of today which does really have a lot to do with it unfortunately.
hi im 17 and single sines i was born. i can have girlfriend but i dont know why to have one if i cant marry her and after all fun there will be a sad cut. that means having a girl friend now is kinda NOT OK i guess becuase ill have to brake sb’s heart 4 my own happiness witch wont last,
to have girlfriends or to dont have?that is the question
Dating in this era is completely f***ed thats why i beat my meat and play fortnite all day.
Ridiculous… You women always follow that route “it is the men´s fault and he should seek professional help” Let me tell you, IT´s NOT! Most women are sheeps who can´t think for themselves. They are highly compliying creatures, listen to what society tells them, who only follow their emotions, and an ordinary men in their eyes is not presentable. Women are more interested in what other women think above all else. It is all unconcious nature at work. Life was never fair, so we men have to learn to work together and build bromances etc. to find emotional support. What else should we do? Me myself, I am a voluntarly monk. Life is better this way.
You Kate, cannot help men.
John Doe says
Most women as it is are very stuck up altogether with no manners and personality at all to begin with. A lot of very pathetic women out there now that really think their shit doesn’t stink which is the real problem right there why so many of us good single men Don’t have one at all. And they really are very much too blame as well.
Gentlemen—IMHO the inner beauty of a woman is the most critical thing. She can be a Playboy model beauty–but if she’s pampered, spoiled, selfish, and thinks that your job is to satisfy her every desire 24/7 your headed for a life of utter misery. Conversely, if she’s kind, generous, has a loving heart, and cares about you as much as you care about her you will have something beautiful!! Just feel good about yourself, be free and approach life as positively as you can–if you do that you’ll find someone for sure. Quality women ARE still out there–you just have to do some digging–they won’t fall into your lap. But DO NOT EVER be desperate under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES–it isn’t worth it!! There’s a timeless saying: “Loneliness is poverty of self, but solitude is fullness of self.” Remember this every second!!
I’ve been single for 12 years now. I’m an old soul. I constantly wish I lived in the past mainly because it was the norm to be married around 23. I find I don’t fit in with my generation. I have only dated a 19 year old girl when I was 17. (I’m 28 now). It was the worst relationship. She just used me and my assets. It was a terrible first time with a girl experience. I really wish women were kinder. More compassionate. Technology is turning women into weird human creatures. The worst type of bully is an attractive girl. We all have degrees of beauty, power, and intelligence. But people will jump through hoops for an attractive girl and this gives them power. Anyone that uses sex as a weapon to hurt people is just as bad as a terrorist who uses weapons to hurt people. Back in the past women weren’t so involved with technology like Instagram ect. It was a more natural time to be alive. I’ve asked out 15 girls since my first gf (if you’d call it that). None said yes. I feel completely unwanted. I don’t understand women at all. I need help. 12 years is a long time. I even tried a dating app for weeks and no one likes me. Why? what’s wrong with me? Aren’t women suppose to be attracted to me? I’m a tall man 6’1. I’m a little bit slender, but my spirit is strong. I’m funny. Handsome. Cute. Intelligent(despite not being able to get a date). I’m financially stable, but I am not rich. I’m a little bit shy. Am I just unlucky? Is it me? Do I need to change somehow? I just feel sad. I want to stop feeling sad, but I can’t. Life without human connection brings sadness to everyone. I feel like I’ve had a human experience, I am human. But humans are complicated animals. I haven’t gotten to express my animal side to anyone. Just good ol’ boring human stuff. How many more years will I have to wait for kiss? A snuggle? A meal? Sex?That I have to wait years just for my first official date shows how screwed up women from this generation are. Guess I’ll just wait for my next opportunity to ask a girl out again. That’s all I can do right?
After reading this, I’m personally disgusted on what you’re is telling us! It seems like in today’s generation it’s hard to find someone because all they care about is looks and money. For you to call someone a “loser” for still living with their parents is very hypocritical! I currently go to community college and met people my age who still live with their parents and they do have girlfriends or boyfriends. A girl who accepts you in her life for who you, now that’s real “love.” Not money or looks. Some tips for all us single men…………. Don’t lose hope. Don’t listen to outside sources like this one! Continue being yourself. Not someone else. If you want to find someone, you can go out more or find a hobby that interest you.
I agree with most of these tips, but not all are written in stone and every girl/situation is different, and in fact this largely depends on your own confidence and social skill. Plus it sounds like Kate is being overally pointed for the glamour which is fine, whatever. Here’s the TRUTH guys – if love is difficult for you the MOST IMPORTANT AND LIKELY CAUSE is you don’t love yourself and you’re too selfish, expecting to find love WITHOUT giving it FIRST. You need to love yourself and give this love to the women you meet without expecting anything in return. This means give them GENUINE interest and support in their own well being, and not just buy them stuff. Its easy for women to sniff out if you are or aren’t being genuine (you’re simply trying to charm them to sleep with them, aka use them, which you should not be surprised when they do the same to you). When you love yourself, you’ll naturally have confidence that anyone can pick up on. Sure, your technique could be off and your surface level approach may suck as Kate has laid out here, but ultimately that’s easy to fix once you understand and own the former, and lacking this is probably why your approach sucks in the first place. Also keep in mind all women are different and each can be categorized in a group, some groups worse/better than others. If you always find yourself being used, manipulated, or cheated or running into superficial women – always know its because you ATTRACT and are attracted to those people and those groups, either because you are the same, you believe you don’t deserve better, or you put too much focus on these bad traits (because of past experiences) that you simply unconsciously allow these people to enter into your life. I really like what Eddie said here (take dancing lessons to meet girls), its very simple and effective advice. You don’t need all the fancy bling to attract most girls unless you’re into superficial Instagram girls which again, if those are the women you’re into then don’t complain when they’re all about the money because you chose that sad group in the first place, the group that likes to use and be used (NOT wife material).
There are plenty of good women out there, you just need common sense, initiative, and love, and unfortunately as I read the comments it sounds like most of you have given up and are set in your ways. 25, 30, 40, 50, 60 – its NOT too late. There’s still time to change but you need to learn how to let go, live, and let die and you need a mentor.
My 2 cents.
Well said. All it takes is one good match and you’re set. Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it won’t! I do plan on going to some events of hobbies of my particular interest. Hopefully I’ll meet someone 😛 You never know what women are thinking unless you ask them. The sad reality is that most women are not pro-active they are reactive. There might’ve been hundreds of girls that checked me out and were attracted to me, but never did anything. Thousands. Millions! (I wish).
This is a good post, Osiris, that may be applicable to many guys. For some of us though – and what many may not be able to understand – the fact is, we are indelibly unattractive, and so are permanently single irrespective of our own wishes, dreams and desires. I have many close woman friends – but none of them – or any other woman could ever for a second see me as anything other than a platonic friend. Although I’d love to have / be capable of acquiring it, I have zero sex appeal whatsoever. I have had as many crushes on women as any other straight guy (hundreds if not thousands over the years, ranging from mild to intense), and have a great career, own four properties outright, dress well and am in good health and great shape – but I will never have a girlfriend because I cannot attract any woman on a sexual level.
After reading this I feel better being single.
If this is what women want I don’t want them.
I’m tall, attractive and wealthy. I’m also done with the rediculous crap women want.
You’re not worth it, priced yourself out of the market.
Well, reading this post only made me more sure about that I will never fit into the expectations of society AND be happy with someone who loves me for who I am.
Career, money, friends, that is working out for me, but this…
Never experiencing the affection of the other gender in my early twenties sometimes feels like a punch in the gut. Never really tried seriously, meaning I never asked 1000 women randomly on the streets or something (makes me anxious just thinking of doing that), but I usually took the opportunities that arose. They never worked out, either they changed their minds, or I f**cked it up. Never received any positive feedback.
What I learned unconsciously from these situations and the emotions they made me feel is that I can’t do this, nope, I can’t and never will even if I am not overweight anymore or become a better conversationalist or whatever is the moving goalpost is for disallowing me to get a girlfriend. This is an area of my life where I have ZERO success, no confirmation what I do wrong and I am terrified to ask. I have no confidence in that I could ever have someone to cuddle with achieving through means of not paying for it, don’t see myself in that situation. Even in my dreams I get rejected. Why am I so f**cking focused on this shit? Tired of life already.
The worst rejection for me is when I don’t know what did I f*ck up during my advances, so I can never learn from them. I never knew how to act in a physically appropriate way with a woman, I had fear she will think I am a creep if I touch her, I never had smooth-talking skills, therefore the attraction I probably evoked from any women I talked to is zilch. I am not afraid to sometimes touch my mates, its only with women who I feel such elevated levels of anxiety while interacting with. I look up sometimes how to shut them out of my life completely, be it through the means of chemical castration, or some kind of other coping mechanism. Not really finding those, or any kind of viable, reversible and side-effectless results. The mental baggage I have will never disappear no matter therapy if I ever went to one. I am completely broken at such an early stage of my life and it is not going to get better, only worse.
Ending it seems more and more tempting by each passing month, but I will pussy out of that too anyways. I feel hopeless, no amount of positive thinking can change facts that I never had someone to share my life with and possibly never will.
Hey are you okay? Remember you’re not the only one. I’ve been single for nearly 12 years now. I’m 28. It sucks sometimes but other times I enjoy being single. You’re in your early 20’s?? You got lots of time. Best advice in the world 3 words: Never Give Up.
MGTOW is the real and very safe way to go now for us men since most women today Aren’t real ladies at all, and really need better manners that they Don’t have today. It has become very dangerous for many of us men just to say good morning or hello to a woman now which can get us in so much trouble for no reason at all. Women today have really changed unfortunately compared to the past when they were so much nicer and a lot easier to meet as well. Very obvious why many of us single men Can’t get a girlfriend now. A lot of these women are always the ones that are blaming us men too, which makes these women just so very pathetic altogether and still need to grow up. Just too many loser women everywhere nowadays unfortunately.
Geoff Ainsworth says
Ya most of this is B.S.! I can tell you as I have been looking for 9 years now, Women just think all men just want sex, Women don’t want respectful guys, Women can’t make a decision or even commit to a first meeting let alone a date even after talking with them for up to 5 months. It’s not like the old days and I don’t know what has happened but it’s just mind boggling ridiculous nonsense these days.
You nailed it.
“Ask a girl out and if she’s busy, that’s fine. You can still ask her out again another time. Have a little patience and persistence; and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to actually get a girlfriend.”
I dont mean disrespect nor am i trying to cherrypick. But have tried as you said but all of them.JUST NOT INTERESTED. Sure,they agree at first but never bother meeting up.I was polite. I was funny. Never worked. All of them said they were busy, just to actually have hung out with someone else later on when i checked up with them later. ‘Sorry i have plans’ ‘sorry i have plans’ ‘weekend would be good’:;when weekend arrives they already have plans.
Why do I put up with this shit all the time? Isnt it demeaning?
Yop agree. “hey wanna meet up this Sunday?” “Sunday sounds nice” Sunday comes.. No sign of her.. I try again… Hey wanna meet up this weekend… History repeats.
Hey let’s mett up after work? “well I dunno I work a lot, I’m tired” ok…. Maybe tomorrow then? I think I have plans….
F*ck this shit.
The Absolute Truth says
Feminism is to really blame for that one since there are so many very stuck up very pathetic loser women all over the place nowadays unfortunately. Most women are real men haters to begin with since most of them are gay anyway, especially today.
21 reasons why women are complicated and almost impossible to date nowadays.
What if I started acting like I was the coolest guy on Earth? Act like you’re in charge and you’re immune to any consequences or moral ethics.
Those guys get girls…
Bad article. This article just plays on the stereotype that you are obviously a fat slob of you can’t get a girl girlfriend. I’m college educated, make good money, pretty confident in my looks and good in most social situations.
My best friend who is like 400lb has been dating no issue so stop being so superficial. Yes in terms of putting yourself out there and asking women out I can agree with that. But the rest is just hateful garbage.
Most women years ago were very old fashioned and were very easy to meet as well. And today they really Aren’t nice to meet at all unfortunately.
There is no point in guys like me approaching women. Women select the men they go out with, and since other men are by definition more attractive than I could ever be, it’s a given that no woman will ever choose me. Since rejection (or worse) is always guaranteed, I never ask women out.
Men are told it’s basically always up to us to approach women and if we don’t we’ll stay single forever. We’re also told that women are tired of unwanted male attention, so please leave them alone. As well as this, in the #me too World, men are basically on notice that any interaction with any woman can be grounds for destruction of reputation, loss of employment, and a host of other things. I’m a very shy, introverted man and always have been. I’ve never been on a date and with the last two points above, I think it extremely unlikely – if not out of the question – that I ever will approach a woman with a view to getting to know her as a person, and maybe if things work out, a deeper relationship. My question is, should I just forget about ever trying?
Today Women Are Different From Years Ago says
Most single women now just have a list of many demands when it comes to finding a man, and are so very picky and very money hungry as well. Meeting a real decent normal woman today certainly has become very impossible altogether now. And most of these women now just want to party and get real wasted to begin with unfortunately since they will never be able to settle down with only one man anyway.
The reason why I don’t have a girlfriend is because raising a kid in America is expensive. The game is rigged from the start before you were born, and there is nothing you can do about it. American women are the worst, they’re shallow, narcissistic, golddiggers, and they’re mean. They just want you money, and a baby.
To Bender, You certainly nailed it.
Try to see how it looks in Romania!Each one are looking for your money,make a baby and control your life for ever!
You got that right.
People’s advice – in person and online – is always the same: ‘just get out more’. The fact is though, I do go out – but I can’t meet anyone if I can’t express my feelings to women I’m attracted to. My woman friends tell me I have so much to say and so much to offer, and that I just need to be more confident. I am confident (and successful) in other areas of my life, but that makes no difference if I can’t show that to women – and I can’t.
They say I need to talk to women just as people to get to know them, so I talk to them like I’m talking to any other friend – and end up getting friend zoned every time. As soon as a woman says we’re friends, I know nothing will happen. I have absolutely no problem meeting women and talking to them – I just can’t express sexual intent – I’m just not able to do it no matter what.
People think it’s so easy for guys to meet women and express their interest – and maybe it is – for them – because other guys are sexually attractive to women (not all women, but if they persist they find some who do like them in that way) and are capable of showing it. I will never be seen as sexually attractive by any woman because I am not – and I am also incapable of expressing interest in any woman I find attractive.
Kate and her stupid article she wrote is being burnt down severely by a bunch of truthers.
Some random guy that likes Wendy's burgers says
I don’t want a girlfriend because I wanted a girlfriend and I feel like I am waiting a hundred years to get one.
I am alone since I was 21 years old,now I am 36.I never had a long relationship,no more than 2 months,and of course no sex with anyone.As I said,I always I had to pay for something,not because I am this kind of person,but because sometimes you go crazy and you need a medicine.I went to the gym,I had some nice shapes,be fit ,I have a bachelor degree,earn some money,save some money.But everywhere I go,everything I am trying,no one comes to me.Is frustrating to see,people less clever than me,poorer than me,bad ass guys,always have someone next to them.Around me,every kid I used to know,since my childhood,all have a gf,all have children.I think I go crazy,I feel as my life is wasted,fucked up for ever.There are no more happy days for me,wake up,go to sleep,everything is the same.I am a gentle guy,kind and maybe I dont know to say a nice lie to a woman,all run away from me.Women are no more what they used to be in the past!
So basically men should shut the f*ck up and do all the work and be perfect but not too perfect! It’s that simple
a humble user says
So, if you still live with your parents for a reason (for example, saving money for college or whatever), it’s your fault you didn’t have a girlfriend? Whoa, talk about discrimination.
Roger Federer says
Ever tried ever failed try again fail again fail better
1- But if you try too much, women will see you as creepy. And God forbid you ask out two women who are part of the same group. That is the unforgivable sin. They will ruin your life.
2- Most men who truly want a girlfriend are not “too picky.” While we have likes and dislikes, we are not looking for Kate Upton or Sophie Turner.
3- True, but some people just get sick and tired of being abused, mistreated, and played.
4- Some people live with their parents while going to college so as to try to avoid ending up with 6 figure debt. Now if you’re older than college age, move out, unless you live there to take care of a parent who is physically incapable of caring for themselves.
5- This is always my personal favorite. Since when did treating people, especially women, with kindness and respect become such a bad thing? There was a time when showing respect and courtesy to women would get you a lot of attention. Now, it simply makes women despise you. Open/hold a door, pull out a chair for a women, you’re a misogynist. The best thing to do is be rude, obnoxious, and even abusive toward women because they will flock to you.
6- True for anyone, men or women
7- Everyone does this now and then, and women do it freaking a lot.
8- But if we don’t come across as perfect, women will not be interested.
9- But if we make the first move and they’re not interested, women will take offense and often retaliate with at best insults, at worst try to ruin your life.
10- This one is just dumb. I have yet to ever see or know someone who hangs out only people described.
11- And then get treated like a potted plant, or attacked by a women for showing even a tiny bit of interest unless you meet all of her standards.
12- Actually agree with this one, but it is easier said than done, and it applies to men and women.
13- This can be 100% true for women as well. It is not specific to men.
14- We get tired of being told to f*** off, that we’re too ugly, stupid, fat, gross, repulsive, and my personal favorite, so hideous you should kill yourself.
15- True for anyone, men or women
16- And when you “tell it like it is” the women will probably slap you or at least be highly offended and leave.
17- True for anyone, men or women
18- This is a repeat of #6 for all practical purposes. Everyone, men and women, should show some self respect and take care of themselves, if for no other reason than to avoid health problems later in life.
19- Not all of us are born rich, or able to land jobs which pay 6 or 7 figures. Not everyone can be an engineer, computer programmer, doctor, or lawyer. It doesn’t mean we don’t have a good job, or are lazy.
20- Women always seem to think “strong men” mean men who are abusive. They see a man who is a strong man, but is kind and respecting of others, as a wuss, wimp, doorman, or pushover.
21- True for anyone, men or women, but if a man tries to “take control,” women will find it offensive, call him a control freak or misogynist.
Wow, what a joke. Whoever wrote this (presumably a female) is trying to push this message that guys should keep throwing themselves at girls so girls can just sit back and not put in and effort. This is why I prefer a lot of foreign women (even those state-side with a green card), as in a lot of non-western cultures, girls are more confident and will often make a move (e.g. make a comment, give you a look).
Don’t submit to this BS, guys. Neither side wins. The guys will continue to have low self-esteem if they keep suppressing who they are to please someone else. And the girls won’t grow up because they keep getting free handouts (also, no self-respecting guy is going to express interest in someone who has not reciprocated whatsoever).
The real solution for guys who are having difficulties is:
(1) If you don’t already have it, develop some confidence and self-esteem by doing things that make you proud of yourself. Learn something, create something, just be a nice person — anything.
(2) If you come across someone you are interested in, express a little interest subtly to test the waters (e.g. give a glance, make a comment). If there’s no positive response, there’s your answer. No need to be so explicit by asking someone out. Even online, I would only “like” someone instead of messaging them unless you have something you really want to say. The reason for all this being, if you go way overboard before you even know the person, it comes off as you just want someone generally, and not that specific girl. But girls and guys both want to be liked for the unique person they are. Also, if the girl isn’t interested in you back, why would you be interested in her? It shows self-respect if you don’t throw yourself at someone, and they will be more interested as a result.
Regarding #3 – A lot of women play games. They expect a guy to try again and again to get a date with them but keep on giving excuses. This is a huge turn-off to say the least. To show what I mean, here’s an excerpt from an real conversation I had with a woman a few weeks ago.
Me – …..and go for a drink.
Her -I’m just not ready for dating right now
Me – Ok well it was….
Her – It’s just I’m so busy
Me – Well as I was saying…
Her – And also got so much work to do at my job
Me – I understand. I was saying…
Her – And you know how it is,
Me – BEFORE….you say anything. I just wanted to say it was great meeting anyway. Bye.
Her – Wait! You’re not going to try again?
Me – (WTF?!?!)
Yes, it happened and yes, the point of rejection is when she says no, that’s it. I move on. If she does the above, her appeal to me dies instantly and I know for certain to move on very fast.
I’m an awesome guy and I don’t like games. I take yes, as yes, and no as no. If a woman isn’t decent enough to give me a straight-up ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when I put myself out there for her, she’s of zero interest.
This “article” was probably made by yet another stupid bimbo who never had to put any effort to find a relationship because the burden of initiating one is always on men. The real reasons why girls don’t want guys are 1)The guy is ugly and he can’t do anything about it 2)the guy is “boring” ie. doesn’t drink or party which according to most young people is the pinnacle of being interesting. 3)cant even find anyone single. “FACT – men have it easier”, is this article a joke? Women don’t have to do anything. They literally have to just f*kin sit in a bar for 20 minutes and someone will hit up on her. They can go on Tinder and get 100 likes in 10 minutes, and then have the audacity to require men not to start a convo with “hey” or “what’s up” but replying to everything with “yes” , “no” or some dumb emoji is ok in their book. How can you even make such ridiculous statements? I think it’s very telling of our society that it was easier for me to get a lucrative career in a less than 2 years after finishing high school than actually going on a date.
You know what really bugs me, Kate?
When women show zero respect for awesome guys and then wonder why we ditch them. After a while we start avoiding them.
A guy takes a woman out to a fine restaurant, for example, and engages her in interesting conversation on topics of established mutual interest. Then, all of a sudden, she takes out her phone in the middle of the meal and starts texting her friends. Then she blames the guy who’s sitting there for not keeping her happy…
Frankly, it’s not up to him to entertain her. If they’re sitting together at a restaurant, it’s a two-way street. And that means effort is required from both to make it a pleasant experience for both. If things don’t go well and she’s not trying at all, then she can’t blame the guy for a failed date, can she?
The sad thing is that there are lots of women like this – not all, of course – but many. And more and more, so it seems.
Aren’t there, Kate?
And this kind of article doesn’t help because it (1) talks to men as if we’re bad children; and (2) places women in the position of being blameless and entitled to get away with anything and everything and all problems are by default men’s.
If a man were to write an article to women in the tone you’ve written this to men, he’d be called a sexist, misogynistic pig – and he would be.
Wouldn’t he, Kate?
The fact is, it’s no more of a privilege for a guy to be with a woman than for a woman to be with a man. She is no more a prize than he is.
How about an article on that, Kate… would you write it… in a respectful tone… would you?
Boris Lee says
I am a Chinese male live in China main land.I thought only in my country,and someone like me will have such problems,until I opened this page,I realized it’s a pretty common problem in different societies.In my country,things are much tragic,you know,the government has implement a policy called “one child policy”for more than 40 years,so the official assertion said they prevented 100000000 children from being born.Unfortunately,most of them are girls,because Chinese couples will have abortions if they conceive girls until they got a boy.So,today ,the number of young male is 40000000 more than female,that means no matter what they do they will never have chance to have wives.On another aspect,girls in China are much realistic than their western counterparts,they straightforwardly proclaim they just want money,and they would rather be a rich man’s mistress instead of an average guy’s wife.Because what they values most is the quality of life,money is the key to their material life pursuit,an average guy will reduce the quality.So,story in China is really pathetic, I admit there are many reasons for not having a girl friend is because men have problems,but in China there are more objective obstacles,I don’t know if you Americans can understand me, I still express my sympathy for us,just be strong.
Boris Lee says
Sorry the number is 100000000 and 40000000,allow me to make a correction.
I love how much effort men have to make and how perfect we have to be and women can literally do nothing but breath!
Seriously, I know a lot of women that fall into the same mental state as what’s described in this article and they all have absolutely no trouble getting a boyfriend.
I do believe it all takes effort, but I think it should be equal from both sides, really. Which it often isn’t.
It is just too very bad that we don’t have women like the old days when they were very old fashioned and real ladies as well which made love very easy to find at that time with no trouble at all. Today unfortunately women have really changed for the worst of all since they have just too many demands now more than ever. They want men with money, a full head of hair, has to be in very excellent shape, a great job making six figures, have his own house, and drive a very fancy car. Well gee wiz, now that most women are very obese and not all that attractive either which tells the whole true story right there. Very pathetic that most of these women are to begin with since the great majority of these women are just real total losers altogether now, especially since Feminism is everywhere today. We had real women back in the past, not today at all unfortunately. This is the real excellent reason why MGTOW is growing and getting stronger each day.
I swear I don’t mean to brag. I had several girlfirends, but I never liked any of those relationships, and they all ended very early, and I was always the one who broke up. Now I don`t want relationships anymore. I’m 31, and I’am sure that I will be alone forever. The word “MGTOW” never crossed my mind because I don’t like labels, but if the shoe fits you must wear it… Anyway, I read all this because I wanted to see if some of those 21 reasons would explain why it would be better for both me all of those girlfriends of mine if I had never tried to have a girlfriend in the first place. And indeed, I found some reasons that fit on me like a glove. So, in many cases geting a girlfiend won’t do any good for some guys, they won’t be happier, actually in my case I became sad, having a girlfriend was more like a burden to me. Maybe girls know how to figure that out very well in advance, better than the guys. In my case, I pretended to be someone I wasn’t to get a gf, but after that I couldn’t keep up the mascarade and felt miserable. And instead of showing my real face, I always decided to end things. So, my two cents for you guys: At least be yourselves, so if you connect with someone it will be real. And also: Forget a little that list, the most important is to really want it, I mean: I was never realistic about my feelings, and it was always a mess.
The Unpleasant Truth says
This is, without a doubt, the largest pile of manure ever written. Something this profoundly stupid could only be written by a female.
You want to know the reason you can’t get a girlfriend?
Your looks. Nothing more. You could build a nation, save an entire bus of children from a pitfall, and discover the cure for AIDS, and if you’re not in the top 5% of looks, females will treat you the same as a disheveled serial killer.
Don’t despair men, here’s the upside.
Females are uniform cookie cutter replicas of one another. If you have met one, you’ve literally met them all. There’s not a one that could pass the turing test.
I understand your biological drives tell you different, but take a deep breath and realize it is leading you down a bad path with nothing more than subservience to their inferior gender.
Fortunately, MGTOW is here to save you. Don’t talk to females, don’t help them, don’t even acknowledge them if possible. Nothing them.
Females, even fat pigs and horsefaces live lives of ease and privilege that only the richest and/or most attractive men could even fathom. So stop white knighting for them. Stop saving them from their own stupid decisions. Most of all: stop hurting yourself and your fellow man for some skank that’ll forget you exist the second you leave her view.
Let them live by their own screeching motto: they’re strong independent women that don’t need no man, so let them struggle like it. Trust me, nothing is funnier than seeing some tart with an undeserved ego asking you for help after bemoaning they’re so strong. (Even funnier when it’s something the average 3rd grade boy know – LOL!)
Just look at the ugliest guys today that have girlfriends, and are real total losers themselves since they are very hard up going for real ugly guys these days especially that many of them have a ton of money.
I recently had an experience on Plenty of Fish after 18 years of being single ( mostly because I was in the military and didn’t want to leave behind a broken heart seeing as how my life expectancy was 30 seconds and actual fight) however somehow I made it home alive and I decided to go on Plenty of Fish I met a girl talk to her for about 2 weeks ask her on a date and realized I didn’t have the money to take her on a decent date.. the very next day I went out and landed a job doing concrete walking home from work that night I got hit by a car and broke three ribs I went to work every single day for the rest of that week doing concrete with three broken ribs to have her feel like she didn’t even need to show up for the date.. a man literally has no motivation or Reason to get married these days as soon as he does the very second he does he stands to lose everything he holds dear.. his personal space his friends his house his car his kids his paycheck.. why even try anymore?
Every time I go on one of these dating sites I see so many female profiles that say just tired of the games.. so I step my best foot forward show them that I can treat them like a queen.. I they say I do too much.. I’ve never understood that how you could do too much for the one that you’re supposed to care the most for they say they’re tired of the games but yet it seems to me they’re playing the biggest game of all.. then they go running right back to the abusive cheating types… I have never once put my hand on a woman harmfully.. I have never cheated.. I never call them names always treat them respectful.. and they say that I do too much.. I never understood these guys that beat on their women it’s like going to the dealership and buying a brand new Maserati only to get the keys and the first thing you do is key the paint job.. no man in his right mind would do that.. so why walk around town with your girl on your arm with two black eyes? That’s not attractive.. why do women tolerate that..? It’s almost like they need it.. ( the games ) love is not supposed to be a challenge love is kind love is understanding love is taking care of the other person like you would take care of yourself.. how is it that I know how to love but I don’t know what it feels like to be loved?
Honestly I’m so frustrated with women these days. That I think I might go back to being gay. It’s not that I am repulsed by women I just need someone to be there for me. It’s really hard to get them to go to any event with you, and they seem to be more concerned about their own life and their problems. To all the ladies out there reading this post. I just can’t take it anymore. Anyways I will be fine with out you, woman.
There are enough fish in the pound because there weren t and there aren t enough abortions, if men were fewer than today, all men would get laid in a heartbeat, so that s the solution.
Hello I’m from the UK my personal story isn’t important, but what I’m about to tell you is.
I’ve read all the comments and what you have to realise is the bigger picture. There is an agenda here a division of the sexes which has been happening very slowly through incremental changes in society by the means of social engineering over the last 15-20 years.
Firstly I want to say that there is nothing wrong with you or women all that is happening is that our perception of reality is being altered through news, media and social trends by the powers that be (I have noticed this intensified in recent years in America).
What I’m going to say to you is this… you must make people aware of what is happening awareness is very important and is the key to discernment.
I don’t know the outcome of this social experiment there are so many variables but just remember that we are all in this together and you are here for a reason this is not the time for ego (the true sense of the word)
clifford nelson says
It seems like every woman I connect with is married. Tells you the single ones are very much the leftovers. The once I meet that I like are single for a reason, and that is that they do not seem really interested in having relationship. One woman does not like sleeping in the same bed as her boyfriend, another wants a boyfriend that also wanted to children but was not able to (she hit mesopause right before she was going to marry a man interested in children). The problem is that there are many men their lover is their connection to others, and if they do not have lover they are isolated.
Women today Aren’t like the good old days we once had when it use to be very easy finding real love back then. Today which most women now are so very high maintenance, independent, since they really don’t need a man anymore, very selfish, greedy, spoiled, picky, gold diggers, narcissists, think they’re all that, and lets not forget very very money hungry these days. So these are the very excellent reasons why so many of us single men can’t meet a good woman that will be just able to Accept us for who we really are, and the Career women today are the worst altogether since they will only want the very best of all because of their greed and selfishness.
I have been single for 19 years. I have had my fair share of dates, mini relationships and hook-ups. But for the longest time I wanted to have a girlfriend. Now I don’t even want one. Why because the only viable mates in my area have nothing to offer except a used up p**sy. All of them are in their mid 30’s, divorced or a single mom. Single mom that makes me laugh (more like a burden on the taxpayer). They have nothing to offer a man like myself in his 40’s. They made their choice to party young get knocked up and complain that there are no good men left. There are you just took too long to notice, and we have moved on. This list just shows the stupidity of the modern feminist movement. It is to make men feel inferior and we are the problem. Wrong the problem are the women that think they are entitled to have the perfect man. Men should not have to change their ways just to get into a relationship where you are at risk of losing more than you gain. Be like me, f**k the young ones and throw them to the curb, if you are too ugly get a hooker. Trust me woman just want money anyway. And begin to read the literature on MGTOW.
“don’t be too needy” “dont be too nice” “ask out women regulary”
Im not sure if youre trolling or mentally retarded lol…
While I do agree with a lot of the things you said, You are being too subjective. I mean mans just said ask women out regularly, and go for every possible opportunity. Like we all have things do do. We ain’t f*ck boys who are gonna chase girls for days on end until we get a good response. I think you should tailor your opinions a bit more open mind-idly and stop asking people to change themselves. All girls don’t go for fit people. Sure, you have to care about your health but that doesn’t mean you grow packs, for girls.
Most women out there today are just complete losers altogether, with a lot of very severe mental problems to go along with it as well. Too much drama they carry around with them wherever they go, since it is a lot safer now for many of us smart men to avoid these type of women that need help very badly. Their attitude stinks and they have no manners at all when many of us single men will try to talk too them, and most of the time unfortunately which they will be so very nasty and walk away from us anyway. And these are very excellent reasons why so many of us men don’t have a woman in our life today.
First of all. This is not feminist at all. It sounds like she wants to be dependent on someone paying for her lifestyle and leisure needs. She has stated all the things she (and perhaps her circle of friends) personally needs in a relationship, which are sometimes perversely unrealistic and detached from reality. But let’s not judge. Every one has different needs. That’s not every single woman’s needs. My advice, even though I’ve also not had much experience with women in a relationship..alright almost none and I’m 43 and living with my parents due to some bad luck with redundancies and debts, is to develop a relationship with yourself first. I mean really look after your own needs, and focus on being happy, not lonely. You can avoid loneliness in many ways, not just by being in a relationship. But please don’t avoid yourself, your needs, feelings or wellbeing. Love yourself and be kind to yourself. Don’t be too harsh, critical or judgemental on yourself. Be gentle and loving with yourself as you would want a partner to be. We are all trying to find someone in our own way, in our own time. The most important is to always love yourself first and go after what you desire to do and have in your life, and be open to receiving all sorts of forms of love in your life.
Hi Tania – I am not lonely most of the time, but have never asked any woman out in my life – ever – because no matter what I do, I’m unattractive. It’s easy for a woman to advise men to go after what they want. Men who women find unattractive are deemed creeps/harassers however they approach a woman they like. As long as he is not overtly offensive, most women will let a guy they find attractive get away with saying/doing things they would charge an unattractive guy with harassment for doing. All of which is to say, for unattractive guys like me, the only option is *not* to go for what we want when it comes to women. I don’t need anyone to make my life whole, but I would love to have a woman to share my life with. Being unattractive however, there is no way that will ever happen. This is reality and the crap about building confidence, etc., really is snake oil.
“FACT – Guys have it SO much easier than girls”. Yea. Right. The very next point being “you will need money and a financially-stable future and career to get a girl. Girls don’t need to do this, you stupid! Only guys have to! But let’s not forget, guys have it so much easier than girls. Especially the introvert ones.”
Ali Ashraf says
“FACT: Guys have it WAY easier than girls. All you need is a clean look and some stubble to drive a girl crazy!” Woah, woah, woah, hold it RIGHT there. You may think that’s the case because you don’t even pay attention to guys that aren’t date-able to see how more complicated it is than that.
Let’s get something straight here. The AVERAGE girl gets catcalled, gets 10x more notifications on social media, 10x more dms than any AVERAGE guy. The only guys that get that kind of attention from the opposite sex are few and far in-between. It’s the same reason women COMPLAIN about getting hit on and post on their bio that they don’t want to be sent any d!ck pics and it’s the same reason why when it comes to 90% of sexual transactions, the guy is the buyer and the girl is the seller (getting paid) whether it be online or for any sexual session of any kind. The average guy just does NOT get that kind of attention.
FACT: Girls have it way easier. All you have to do is look good.. that’s it! You’re shy? Awkward? Don’t have a job? You’re broke? You can’t hold a conversation? Your social skills are at rockbottom? NO PROBLEM! Guys will still be interested. I’m not saying that to give myself excuses. I get that a big part of why an incel is an incel is that they’re holding themselves back. .. But to sit there and suggest, that guys have it easier, is just delusional to say.
A real woman will take you as a man despite your situation. If she doesn’t want you for who you are, then she’s not the one for you.
In the old days love was very easy to find for the ones that were really looking for it with no trouble at all. Today most women have too many high expectations since they just want the Mr. Perfect type of a man which there is no such thing anyway for them, especially the women today that really think they’re so very high and mighty which most of these women to begin with are real narcissists. A very sad bunch of women that are everywhere nowadays unfortunately, compared to the past when most women back then were nothing like today at all. These type of women are the ones that made the dating scene very awful today for many of us serious men really looking. Most of these very pathetic women will just grow old all alone with their cats anyway, and they will be just too old and washed up altogether since no man would want them to begin with.
Since the great majority of the women today are either Gay Or Bi, which does make it much more difficult for many of us single straight men to have a girlfriend that we would really want.
Lots of b*llshit to digest here. Obviously written by a woman. Firstly, most women do NOT give a sh*t how much money you make. Secondly, you DO NOT, EVER, put a woman first — the first, second and third spots are reserved for you, your career, and whatever other professional/personal goals that you have. Thirdly, being the “strongest” in the crowd — whatever the f*ck THAT is supposed to mean — is hardly a recipe for success. Just look at some of them walking around with hot women, and it’s readily apparent THAT isn’t the case. The correct advice is to be the best person YOU can be, and achieve YOUR goals, while making HER prove HERSELF to YOU as any high-value man should.
And oh, yeah…NEVER take dating advice from a woman!
That Is Fact says
The women today are totally different from the past unfortunately which now they will go with men that have a lot of money since they’re just real gold diggers and total losers altogether to begin with. In the past which it was never like today at all since the women were very easy to meet for the men back then that really had it made with no trouble at all either. Like that song that i heard on the radio a few months ago that said, so many men so little time how can i choose. Well a song like that should’ve been banned in the beginning since most women were just sleeping around with different men all the time, instead of committing themselves to only one man which would’ve been very difficult for them to do anyway. That is why most women sleep around all the time unfortunately, especially the ones that just like to party and get wasted with their girlfriends all the time.
Most women nowadays just have so many very high standards.
I’m Neither. I have seen dating coaches and failed. This year, I have approached over 300 women basically off the street and no luck. I go up to them and say “Excuse me, I think you look absolutely beautiful by the way blah blah” – Girls off the street that is. My problem is that I’m too logical, I talk in literal sense, I look at everything with reason/logic and no emotions. I say everything exactly to the truth. I don’t know how to make people laugh. I lack Social Calibration. I don’t know how to flirt. I am internally/logically confident, but don’t know how to communicate/project confidence without sounding cocky. I don’t know how to use Banter/High sense of humor which seems to be the only thing to make a women respond to you nowadays in a nightclub. All the women are testing you to see if you are popular with other women and testing you have over excessive levels of confidence and if you are not, you are scum to most of the women in the nightclub. My dating coach says “Use banter”, i’m like “How, what do I say?, i’m not good at making this up on the spot. My mind is literally blank trying to think of something funny to say”. I discovered I had Aspergers during this process. Explains why i’m good at seeing patterns and day trade in stocks.
Larry Hurst says
Guys, unless I am having the wrong perspective, please do provide feedback to my previous comment. Also one thing I forgot to mention is, depending where you live also plays a big factor. If there are more women to men ratio cities/towns, it plays in your favor. Smaller towns, good luck.
I honestly use to blame woman and society but as time went on began to realize they have the right to not pick me if they wish but at the same time I honestly don’t know what to do. I mean I have a decent job and I’m a ok guy. I have tried everything for over a decade and have recently decided to give up. I honestly wish someone would just tell me what is wrong with me
Henry Rumfelt says
Your wrong if you choose NASCAR over a girlfriend you might become a 7 time champion. And be left with a whole lot of moolah for yourself. So screw girls.
First of all, most single women these days just want the rich type of man to begin with. And they’re real total losers anyway since they just can’t accept many of us single men for who we really are anymore. Very money hungry high maintenance women everywhere nowadays unfortunately, and these women someday will be all alone with a bunch of cats when their time comes since they will deserve that. Have a lot of fun with your cats ladies.
We should make a list of why women dont have real boyfriends or husbands. Lol
will harris says
i dont like this list especially the one about money, you can find a few women that dont care just about money!
With so many women these days that have tattoos with so much makeup that they wear, which makes them look like real Freaks altogether to begin with. And a great deal of these women are very scary and very dangerous as well.
Most women in the past were the best of all, and so very easy too meet as well. Today, what in the world happened to them? Very dangerous now just to say hello to a woman.