I was driving the other day and I had a fit of road rage. It happens. But, as I was talking myself through it, I realized that the things I was saying to myself to calm down would be good advice for all you guys out there who are in a relationship, or all you guys who plan to be in a relationship at some point. So, what can you learn from those all-important road rage lessons?
Other People Have Their Own Way Of Doing Things
When I have road rage, it is usually because other people are not doing what I want them to. Come to think of it, everyone I have ever been with that has had road rage is mad because other people are not doing what they want them to do.
- Drive faster!
- Drive slower!
- Learn how to read a sign!
- Get out of the slow lane!
- Use you signal lights!
Granted, these can all be important to good driving, but at the same time you don’t have control over their driving skill or decisions while driving…no matter how much you scream and yell. All you are doing is making yourself suffer.
When you give up trying to change other people on the road, you relax and things instantly feel better with them.
The issue comes from judging someone else as doing something wrong. When you judge something to be negative, you instantly have negative feelings. When you let go of that judgement, and just allow them to be themselves as you take care of yourself, you release the anger and the tension subsides.
Relationship Lesson: This is a great lesson for any relationship. When you stop wanting your partner to drive a certain way or act a certain way or – in general, be someone who they are not, then you can stop being angry and release the anger and tension. Your relationship will instantly improve when you do this and things will go a lot smoother. This doesn’t mean that you have to let them be stupid, but it does mean that you don’t have to get mad about something, and cause stress on yourself, about something that is completely out of your control.
You Could Do Serious Damage To Innocent Bystanders
The need to do bad things (‘ride’ a bad drivers bumper) is high when you are experiencing road rage. You swear and curse and try to teach them a lesson. The problem is that by being angry at the driver, and in a fit of road rage, you can do serious damage to innocent people who are in the car with that driver or around you driving.
One recent instance involved a man who threw a bunch of cups and trash in a woman’s car, and in the process he hit her baby’s head with a water bottle that was partially full. (Read story here.)
Moreover, you can drag on that anger and put it onto innocent drivers after the incident, and they don’t deserve your anger.
Relationship Lesson: Being angry at your partner can hurt your kids, family, and friends in the process. You may accidentally hurt someone who is trying to break up the argument, or you may take your anger out on an innocent person and hurt them in some way. And, if this happens to hurt someone they love, you will have an even harder time making things better with them. This is why it is important to deal with your issues in an adult way only with the person you are upset with.
You Can Lose Your Mind A Little In A Very Bad Way
Have you seen the following video of road rage? The guy forgets to put his car in park because he is so enraged with the driver. I’m assuming because the video made it out, the enraged driver was embarrassed and just drove away. Thank god, because he had a gun!
Relationship Lesson: You can do really stupid things when you are really, really angry. Things that you normally wouldn’t do. Things that could put your relationship in danger. It is best to let yourself cool down before you deal with your partner and do or say something you will regret.
Courtesy Can Stop A Big Blow Out That Ends Very Badly
In my opinion, both of the guys in the following video are stupid. I say that even though I have been in the situation myself during a fit of road rage. Although, after watching these two idiots, I will consciously always try to be more courteous to people driving, even if they are egotistical jerks.
The car accelerates to hold the hummer back and then the hummer retaliates in a big way. Finally the hummer gets pulled over by the cops and ends up in trouble. If they were to just both have some courtesy, or even just one of them, then this would have ended very differently.
Relationship Lesson: Just show your partner some courtesy. Let your ego take a back seat once in a while and treat your partner politely and with respect. When you do, things will not get so heated, and they will work out much better than if you were to treat your partner with disrespect and anger.
Got any other lessons from road rage that apply to happier relationships? Please share them in the comments below.