Should I block my ex? Asking yourself that question is a part of going through a breakup. Deciding when and how to contact your ex can be difficult, and you might be unsure of what is best for you and what will help you move forward. It’s essential to consider how you feel about staying in touch with your ex, and whether or not stopping all forms of communications would be healthy for you.
Why Is It Hard to Block and Ex?
You might feel that you have a lot invested in the relationship and that your ex was a central part of your life for a while. If you were in a long-term relationship, you and your ex probably lived together.
Blocking an ex is a step toward removing that person from your life. It’s a difficult step to take because you unconsciously might not want to move forward, or might not be ready for that major step.
Breaking up is a process that takes time. Some days feel like small victories as you take steps toward getting over your ex, and some days are more difficult because you find yourself experiencing negative emotions again.
A study found that 71% of people feel that they think about an ex too much. Technology can make it difficult to move on after a breakup. That same study found that 59% of people are friends on Facebook with an ex, and 48% say that they look at the social media profiles of an ex.
Moving on isn’t easy because you still experience strong feelings when you think about your ex and the relationship, and you probably miss that person. Technology makes it easy to stay in touch or check on what your ex is doing. You can check your ex’s profile and look at their photos without your ex even knowing it.
It’s normal to want to preserve some form of contact with your ex, and to wonder how they are doing since the breakup. Part of you might hope for reconciliation, and part of you might wonder if they feel just as bad as you are.
Arguments for Blocking Your Ex
Should I block my ex? If you ask that question, a lot of people who have dealt with difficult breakup will tell you that it’s in your best interest to block your ex.
You might feel bad about cutting off that person from your life because you both invested a lot in the relationship. You might feel bad or experience guilt if you are the one who decided to end the relationship.
You might also feel that blocking your ex would be petty or childish. You might see it as a way of getting back at them for hurting your feelings. You might wonder if blocking your ex will damage your chances of reconciliation or make it difficult to develop a friendship with them.
Blocking your ex is not petty or selfish. It’s essential to put yourself first when you deal with a breakup, and if you feel that blocking your ex would be beneficial, you shouldn’t feel bad about doing it.
There are a lot of complicated and confusing feelings that can surface when a relationship ends. You should prioritize your health and well-being, no matter what it takes.
Blocking your ex can be beneficial because it’s a lot easier to move on if you aren’t constantly reminded of your ex.
The problem with technology is that it’s extremely easy to reach out to someone or look them up online. You might find yourself wondering what your ex is up to or feel sad about the breakup, and the next thing you know, you are looking up your ex on Facebook. It’s a pattern that a lot of people fall into when going through a breakup. Blocking your ex is a good way to break away from that pattern.
The best way to move on after a relationship ends is to accept your emotions. You will experience sadness and might feel hurt or angry. It’s common to experience anxiety at the thought of being alone.
You will notice that there is a progression. You will go from one emotion to the next, and things will get easier as time goes by. You will eventually begin to see a better future for yourself. That process helps you grow as a person, and it’s necessary to go through it so you can get over your ex.
Keeping in touch with your ex can make that process more difficult and painful. Your ex might not go through the same process at the same pace. They might reach out when they experience negative emotions, and communicate with your ex or checking their social media profiles can set you back. You might find that you feel as if the breakup happened yesterday whenever you communicate with your ex, even though you had been progressing toward getting better.
It’s easy to check your ex’s social media profiles to find out if they have moved on and met someone new. You might be wondering how they are dealing with the breakup, and might secretly hope that they are more miserable than you.
Keep in mind that it’s easy to portray things differently on social media. Seeing photos of your ex being happy and having fun can be hurtful and won’t help you get over them. It’s best to block your ex so you can deal with the breakup on your own and avoid getting hurt again when you see that your ex is ready to move on.
Arguments for Keeping a Line of Communication Open
There are situations where staying in touch with an ex can help you deal with the breakup. If you parted on good terms and decided to support each other as you adjust to living on your own, it can be beneficial to stay in each other’s lives for a while. You can decide to work on staying friends.
If you feel that you didn’t get closure when you broke up with your ex, talking to them can be beneficial. You should talk about why the relationship ended, reassure each other that you didn’t invest your time in the relationship for nothing, and talk about what you got out of the relationship. Talking about the relationship and breakup can help you find closure and move.
A lot of people decide against blocking their ex because it’s a move that feels too final. You might feel that blocking your ex means they will be out of your life forever, and you might not be ready to accept it.
It might be best to ease into your new life and to gradually cut ties with your ex, or work on becoming friends so you can check up on each other once in a while. You might also decide to block your ex later when you are ready to move on to the next chapter in your life.
If you feel that staying in touch would help you deal with the breakup, it’s something you should discuss with your ex. Find out how they feel about communication, and what kind of contact you feel would be beneficial. You should also figure out how often you want to be in touch.
You can agree to respect a no-contact period after the breakup. A no-contact period will allow you to focus on yourself and deal with your negative emotions, and it won’t feel final like blocking your ex. You can start talking again once the no-contact period is over, or decide that it’s best not to communicate with your ex.
If you decide to stay in touch with your ex, establish some boundaries. Decide how often you should talk, and which channel feels appropriate
Signs That You Should Block Your Ex
Should I block my ex? If you’re asking yourself that question, you might have a gut feeling that communication with your ex or looking them up on social media is hurting you.
There are situations where you should block your ex. Here are a few questions you should ask yourself:
- Do you contact your ex often, or think about contacting them a lot?
- What do you hope to get when you reach out to them?
- Do you spend a lot of time looking at their social media profiles?
- Why do you feel the need to check their profiles?
- How do you feel after looking at photos of your ex?
- Do you feel that keeping in touch with your ex is preventing you from moving on?
- Do you feel that you miss your ex a lot?
Those questions will help you figure out whether or not staying in touch with your ex is making the breakup more difficult than it needs to be. It’s best to block your ex if you feel that staying in touch with them or checking their social media profiles is unhealthy.
There are different situations where you should block your ex:
- If your ex keeps contacting you and you would rather cut ties with them.
- Your ex keeps reaching out to you, and you find yourself going through a lot of intense emotions every time.
- Your ex wants reconciliation, but you don’t want to give them a second chance.
- Your ex contacts you whenever they feel lonely or want attention.
- Your ex feels bad about the breakup and looks for ways to make you feel bad too.
- Your ex is toxic or manipulative.
- Your ex is taking out their anger and other negative feelings on you.
- You feel that staying in touch with your ex is hurting your new relationship.
- You think that communicating with your ex is making it difficult to move on.
- You find that you secretly hope for your reconciliation, or want your ex to apologize or forgive you, even though you know that won’t happen.
Blocking your ex isn’t easy, and it might feel that you are cutting all ties with them and starting a new chapter in your life without your ex. That decision can feel final, and it might not be easy to do it even though you know it would be for the best.
However, you will feel better once communication stops, and once you are no longer tempted to check your ex’s social media profiles.
You can have a final discussion with your ex to tell them you don’t think staying in touch will help you, or explain that you want to focus on yourself before blocking them.
Getting Closure
One of the difficult things about ending a relationship is the need for closure. Closure is the feeling that there is a narrative that makes sense in your life. We tend to look for answers and explanations and want to figure out why things happen the way they do.
When a relationship ends, there is often a need to understand why it ended, and why you and your ex couldn’t make things work. If you didn’t see the breakup coming, you might find that you need answers to process what happened. If you were in a long-term relationship, closing that chapter of your life will take some time.
Looking for closure is a messy process. We often look for answers without understanding what we’re doing or without knowing which questions we want answers for. We sometimes look for a way to build a narrative that makes sense even though things don’t make sense.
If you find yourself wanting to contact your ex regularly or look them up regularly on social media, you might be stuck in a cycle where you look for answers. The problem with that pattern is that your ex might not have the answers you are looking for, or the answers might not satisfy you. You might not have a precise sense of which questions you want to answer, or might be unable to construct a narrative that makes sense for other reasons.
Getting closure is difficult, even if you can talk to your ex about the relationship and ask them some questions. You will probably discover that there are more unanswered questions, or the answers might not give you the peace you were hoping for. You might get the impression that your ex wasn’t the person you thought they were, or realize that you saw the relationship very differently from your ex.
Finding closure is hard, and you might never be able to get full closure, or it might take you years to get there.
Here are some things to think about to help you get a sense of closure:
- What would it take for you to feel that there is a satisfactory ending to the relationship?
- What would it take for you to feel like you can move on?
- Accept that you might never get answers to all your questions.
- Accept that you might never fully understand why the relationship ended.
- Accept that you will feel confused and hurt for a while, and might find closure years from now.
- Accept that you might not be able to find narratives that make sense in your life.
- Keep in mind that focusing on yourself is the best way to move on.
If you think you need closure, ask yourself which role communicating with your ex plays into that pattern. Do you hope to understand why the relationship ended by analyzing what your ex does after the breakup?
You should also ask yourself how your ex can help you find closure. An apology from them or knowing that they have forgiven you could help you move forward. However, there are situations where your ex won’t have any answers that could help you get closure.
A Quick Guide to Blocking Your Ex
Blocking someone isn’t easy because there are many ways to communicate with them, whether via text or social media. You might also be tempted to check their social media profiles to see how they are doing.
There are a few different things you can do if you want to cut ties with an ex:
- Talk to your ex, and explain why it’s best that you don’t communicate. You can agree on a no-contact period, or agree to stop all forms of communication. Explain that you want to focus on yourself and that staying in touch isn’t helping you get over the breakup.
- You can explain that you don’t have anything else to bring to the relationship, or that you have given your ex all the answers and explanations you had. You can also state that you don’t owe your ex anything, or wish them the best before saying goodbye.
- You can unfriend your ex on social media, and unfriend any friends you have in common if you think they will stop being a part of your social circle after the breakup.
- If unfriending your ex feels too final, consider unfollowing them or hiding their updates. You will be able to use social media without seeing their photos or posts. You should think about unfollowing friends who are likely to hang out with your ex.
- Think about taking a break from social media. It will help you focus on yourself, and you will be less likely to check your ex’s profile or wonder how they are doing. It’s a good strategy if you have a lot of friends in common.
- Uninstall social media apps from your phone, and log off your different social media accounts in your browser. You will have to take additional steps to log into your accounts, which should give you more time to think about what you’re doing if your intentions are to check your ex’s profiles.
- Edit your Facebook preferences to remove some posts from your memories. That feature will show you posts you made in the past on their anniversaries, which can bring up a lot of painful memories after a breakup.
- Think about disabling your social media accounts. You can do this temporarily on most platforms. It’s a healthy thing to do if your ex won’t stop contacting you, or if you have a hard time stopping yourself from checking their profiles.
- There are different apps and browser extensions you can use to block specific websites or pages. You can use them to block your ex’s profiles or block different social networks.
- You can adjust your email preferences to have messages from your ex go directly to your spam folder or to block those emails completely.
- If your ex texts you a lot, you can install different text message blocker apps. Some apps will block text messages from specific numbers, and others will place those messages in a specific folder so you can read them later.
- You can block your ex’s phone number in your phone settings or by contacting your cell phone provider. In extreme situations where an ex is toxic and won’t stop messaging or calling you, consider changing your phone number.
Talk to your friends and relatives about your decision to block your ex. Getting over the breakup will be easier if your friends and relatives avoid bringing up your ex around you. It’s especially important if you have friends in common.
If you have a hard time cutting ties with your ex, ask a close friend to help you. Ask them to change your social media passwords so you can take a break from those platforms for a while and get back to them later. You can also ask a friend to block your ex’s number on your phone or install an app that will filter your ex’s calls and texts.
Blocking your ex can be difficult because it can feel like that person is out of your life for good, and you might not be ready for that realization. However, cutting ties with an ex can help you focus on yourself and move on after a breakup. If you feel that staying in touch with your ex or checking their social media profiles is unhealthy, it’s best to take the necessary steps to block them and stop yourself from checking their profiles.