Sometimes, love really does stink. Love usually starts out all warm and cozy, exciting and adventurous. A time when everyone seems to be on their best behavior. You truly believe your love is only going to grow stronger and you’re going to be together forever and then some.
Doubt jumps into the picture, and you’re starting to see reasons the two of you should call it quits. It’s a tough call, but there are silent and in-your-face indicators that suggest you should call it quits. It is never fun to face these, but it’s better than living in a fantasy world.
You deserve to have someone who is good to you, who treats you well and loves you for you. If you aren’t with a man who lifts you up and makes you feel beautiful, then you may have the wrong man.
Should I Break Up with My Boyfriend?
Signal One: Liar Beware
Little white lies are part of most relationships, that’s just par for the course for the sake of saving hurt feelings. He might tell you he was at the gym when he was out for a beer with his buddies. Or he might have skipped work to hit the beach. Those really aren’t a big deal because maybe that’s exactly what he needed.
On the flip side, any lie that directly hurts you is not okay. If he lies about who he was with or about not taking money from your wallet when you know he has, that’s a big red flag.
If you can’t mentally trust your man, then you need to kick him straight to the curb.
Signal Two: Sickening Cheater
In my books, there is no way around this one or through it. If the man you are with, the one who supposedly loves you, has got the balls to sleep with another woman, you need to kick his @## to the curb now.
You deserve a man who is faithful to you and only you. A man who is focused on making you happy. A guy who only has eyes for you. On rare occasions, you can work through a singular episode of cheating, but they are few and far between.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Stick with that rule of thumb and you’re going to save yourself a lot of hurt and emotional turmoil.
Signal Three: He Doesn’t Support You 100%
This doesn’t mean he has to agree with you all the time, because you aren’t always right. But a guy who doesn’t support your hopes and dreams isn’t worth your time. You should inspire the man you are with and he should be doing everything beyond your wildest imagination to push you to the top of your mountain.
People who truly love each other support each other. You deserve to have a cheerleader, and your partner should be excited about the thought of being yours.
Signal Four: Overloaded Drama
You need to run far and fast if your partner is the guy who likes to cause trouble, likes to get into bar fights every weekend. If your man has multiple exes with many babies who call and text all the time, you need to think long and hard if this is something you want to live with for the rest of your life.
Seriously, you don’t need all that drama in your life. If there is too much drama for you to handle, you need to hand him his walking papers.
Signal Five: He’s a Fighter
Being with a man who likes to push your buttons is not a good thing. If he likes to get you all worked up and get into an argument just because, he’s seriously not the man for you. Don’t allow yourself to stay in a relationship where you are on a roller coaster ride and walking on broken glass.
This is not a good thing for you, especially when love is supposed to be about smiling and happiness and riding off into the sunset for bigger and better things.
Signal Six: Depression Master
It’s normal for people to get depressed from time to time. When the sun isn’t out very much, it is easy to feel a little down in the dumps for short periods of time. But if you are with a guy who is always depressed or feeling blue, you need to understand that’s going to bring you down too.
Negative energy gravitates towards the positive, and if you’re around a depressed man all the time, eventually it will pull you in too without you even knowing it. If he’s getting help for it, that’s great, but you’ve got to take care of you and make sure you both can be happy in this relationship. If not, you’ve got to get out now.
Signal Seven: He’s a Drug Addict or Alcoholic
Addiction is tough to beat, and you don’t deserve to be with someone who is going to fly off the handle at any moment. Addicts don’t have control of their emotions, and that’s going to take a toll on you. Not to mention the fact your money is going to go down the drain supporting his addiction.
The right decision for you is to get out of the relationship while you can.
Signal Eight: Mr. Lazy Pants
Lazy men have learned this behavior, and they aren’t likely to change. We are creatures of habit! It doesn’t matter how much you want him to change; it’s not going to happen unless he wants it too.
Laziness reflects in everything he does from cleaning up around the house and holding down a job, to doing things with and for you. This will become a stress and chore for you if you stay with a lazy boyfriend. Something to think long and hard about.
Signal Nine: Verbal Assault
Abuse on any level is unacceptable. Love really is blind, and many times, a woman doesn’t compute the signals of verbal abuse. Or, she just gets used to it and accepts it. Make a note: it’s not acceptable.
Ask your family and friends what they think and listen to what they have to say. If you are thinking he’s beating you down with his words, then he is. Dumping him is the right thing to do.
Signal Ten: Physical Assault
This is just as dangerous and downright wrong as the previous signal. If he’s ever laid a hand on you or made you feel scared for your safety, you need to pack your bags right now and get out.
Signal Eleven: Crappy Sex
I know, sex isn’t everything, but it is certainly very important in any healthy long-term relationship. If you try to avoid kissing him because he slobbers like a dog, or he’s selfish in bed and you get no enjoyment having sex with him, then you should break it off. Although some of this he might not be able to control, you deserve to be excited about making love with your boyfriend till death do you part!
Signal Twelve: You Pay
It’s just wrong if your boyfriend doesn’t use his own money to pay for things. Actually, a true gentleman will understand that taking care of you, which includes making sure you don’t worry about money, is the right thing to do.
This one is about being confident in who you are, and if he loves you, he will want to support you financially and in any other way he can with no questions asked and no strings attached!
Signal Thirteen: Not on the Same Bus down the Road
This is a tough one, but if you and your boyfriend don’t have the same long-term vision or goals, then you better think about dumping him. If you want to move to a warm climate and have lots of kids and he can’t stand the heat or kids, it would be silly for you to give up on your dreams for him.
You don’t have to have exactly the same wants and needs, but they need to be mainly aligned.
Signal Fourteen: Commitment Defined
There are all sorts of levels of commitment. So, it’s important you get straight right off the bat about what type of commitment you both want. For instance, stay away from open relationships. They are just a disaster waiting to happen.
If he wants to date you but also see other women, that just means he really doesn’t want you. If you’re okay with that, then there’s no issue. Friends with benefits rarely works, simply because emotions seem to have a mind of their own.
Signal Fifteen: He’s Mean and Nasty
Your personality is your personality, and that’s not going to change. If he is hard edged and nasty, why would you settle for that? You are worth more than that, and you know it!
If he’s rude to people, doesn’t tip the waitress, yells at people on the phone or whistles and stares at good-looking women, dump him.
Sure, out of the starting gates, he might be nice to you but that’s not going to last. Just trust me on that.
Signal Sixteen: Only Loves Himself
If you are dating a narcissist, you need to understand straight up that he will never love you because he only loves himself. It doesn’t matter how much money he has or how drop-dead gorgeous he is, because it will always be about HIM and never about YOU or US.
Love is a two-way street; it’s give and take. If you are with a man that can only take and doesn’t even realize it, that’s only going to make you sad and miserable.
Kick him to the curb before you get yourself into really deep water.
Signal Seventeen: He’s Over-the-Top Needy Nerdy
A little neediness can be cute, but if you’re with a guy who collects every action figure you can think of and is always playing with his toys, you’d better reconsider being his other half.
If your boyfriend is a “mama’s boy” and can’t do anything on his own, you are eventually going to resent him for this. Asking your opinion on things is sweet but not when he needs your approval for everything.
A man who can think for himself is the way it’s gotta be. Get rid of him if you feel like you’re his mommy.
Signal Eighteen: Your Gut Tells You You’re Settling
I’ve screwed up many times when it comes to dating, and one of my main muck-ups is convincing myself to settle just because I don’t want to hurt his feelings. That couldn’t be more wrong. It’s easy to talk yourself into staying with a guy just because you want to have someone there for you. That doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.
You deserve to have the man of your dreams, and if that isn’t the guy you’re with, then you need to call it quits and move on. This is a tough one but you need to follow your gut and look for a guy who fits better.
If the question, “Should I break up with my boyfriend?” is in your brain, you should.
When you know what to look out for in an unhealthy relationship before you are in too deep, it’s much easier to avoid hooking up with the wrong man. If you are feeling uncomfortable, or worse yet like you are in danger, the best move you can make is to get out of the relationship right now.
Signal Nineteen: He’s Overly Aggressive
There are many different forms of aggressiveness, most of which are dangerous. Some guys are naturally aggressive, but if you feel your boyfriend is cruel to animals or people and shows his anger by hitting or throwing objects to try to intimidate you, you need to pack your bags and get out.
If you ignore this red flag, you could find yourself in real physical danger, and it’s not worth the risk.
Signal Twenty: Control Freak
We’ve all run into this kind of person at one time or another. When someone has an overbearing need to be in control of every move you make, it just sucks. If your boyfriend has an unhealthy balance of control, you need to break up and move on quickly.
When someone controls a relationship, they expect you to follow suit and obey their decisions, thoughts and demands. That’s not how a healthy relationship rolls. You shouldn’t feel inferior or like your thoughts don’t matter.
This type of man will try convincing you he is doing this for you because he wants you to be happy, but that’s crap. If he did want you to be happy, he would value what you have to say and hand some of the decision-making power over to you.
Signal Twenty One: Overly Possessive
When a man is possessive, it means he doesn’t trust you. He might tell you he’s jealous or wants to keep you all to himself because he loves you, but that’s just not true. This type of guy might lie to you and make excuses to keep you from meeting with other people. When someone calls for you, this kind of man will accidentally (on purpose) forget to tell you.
Initially, you might be flattered and accepting of it, but that feeling won’t take long to wear off.
The best thing you can do for you is to move on pronto.
Signal Twenty Two: Master Manipulator
This type of guy is ultra-clever, and if you don’t pay close attention, he will sink his teeth in deep. When a man manipulates, he ultimately uses guilt or pressures you into doing or saying things you really don’t want to.
Some of these things you know are wrong, but if you feel helpless in defending yourself, then you are dealing with an expert manipulator. This type of guy will punish you mentally when you don’t follow through with his pressures, and that’s wrong.
If you suspect your boyfriend has this trait, you need to kick his butt to the curb fast.
Signal Twenty Three: Constant Criticizing
It’s normal to be critical of yourself and others on occasion. But when it becomes the norm, that’s not healthy. A guy who is critical of you is out to hurt you or break you down. He will destroy your self-confidence over time and increase your need to be dependent on him.
A critical man will embarrass you, make you feel unwelcome, humiliate you in front of others and criticize you and often appear like a caring person to others. This type of behavior is often done behind closed doors so you might even start questioning yourself that it may all be true.
Don’t let yourself ever get to that point. Move on if this is the type of man you call your boyfriend.
Signal Twenty Four: Unpredictable Behaviour
If your man is the type of guy who is unpredictable depending on his mood, that’s a clear sign you need to get him out of your life. Moodiness really does suck.
Women are moody enough with good cause because of their hormone flow. If you have a man who flips out or is totally unpredictable, like you are always walking on ice chips, that’s not a good sign.
If your boyfriend is unpredictable, you need to send him packing now. It’s just the right thing to do.
Signal Twenty Five: Totally Irresponsible
There’s no doubt that irresponsible behavior can take on many different shapes and forms. It’s really tough to recognize unless you are consciously aware of it, which is tough to do when emotions are involved.
If your man isn’t responsible for money, this is a sign that he isn’t the man for you. Money does make the world go round.
Of course, everyone needs help now and again, but if your partner creates a pattern that he won’t be accountable to, and if his actions constantly let you down, you seriously need to move on fast.
In a healthy relationship, people make mistakes but own up to them and look to gain strength from learning from them.
Not to be mean, but if you are thinking if you should break up with your boyfriend, you probably should. Otherwise, the thought wouldn’t even be in your head.
I think we make relationships more complicated than we should. Being with a man should be magic. He should be someone who lifts you up and means the world to you. He should be someone who wants to see you succeed and will do everything he can to make sure that happens.
Unfortunately, we get programmed to sometimes accept less than what we deserve, and that’s just not right.
Have a good look at all these signals, danger signs and factors, and if you can match any of them up with your boyfriend, you need to move on.
You deserve what you want. You deserve to have the unconditional love and support that will make you a better you. Don’t let a guy take away from you and your confident self. Call it quits if you aren’t head over heels in love with your man and you feel you are getting the same vibe back. That’s very important!
Stay strong and be true to you. Do that and you will make the decision to break up with your boyfriend if that’s the right thing for you to do.