Have you ever met a man, fallen completely smitten with him, and wondered if he’s been thinking about you in the same way? One of the most challenging parts of dating and relationships is deciphering if someone is feeling the same thing you are. Signals can become crossed, messages lost in translation, and before you know it, you can be on entirely different pages than the guy you like.
Things don’t have to be that complicated, though. One thing we know for sure is that people are as unique as their dating situations can be. Some women like to wait for a man to make the first move and the thought of asking a man how he feels is entirely foreign. Other women don’t mind taking the lead and going after what they want.
Either way, there’s no doubt about it, women like to be pursued. We love to know that a guy is into us, can come up with a game plan and go after what he wants. It makes us feel valued, wanted, and appreciated. If you’ve been spending time with a married man, that can make things quite complicated.
In that case, you may have been left wondering if there are signs a married man likes you more than a friend. The short answer is that yes, there could be signs both visible and not so obvious. The long answer is that the situation is highly unique, and it can be quite hard to tell. Instead of a long list of signs, we’ll help you consider some typical circumstances paired up with some signs to help you get to the bottom of it.
What’s His Marriage Status?
Not everyone’s situation will be as black and white as being married or not married. Many circumstances complicate marriages, many stages, or phases of divorce these days and all sorts of things that can make this guy’s situation different from anyone else’s. Before you jump straight into the signs a married man likes you more than a friend; let’s consider what his marriage status might be.
“Happily Married”
If this guy is known to be happily married, your best bet is to let this one go. If he wears his wedding band, has pictures of his wife (and kids) in his office, she or she and the kids come to work functions, it’s probably not something you want to get entangled in.
No matter what he tells you, if they’re still living together as a family, he’s probably not at a place where you want to dive into a relationship with him – but that’s an entirely personal choice and one-hundred percent up to you.
We all know that “happily” married can mean loads of things from actually happily married to completely miserable and on the way to divorce. But if divorce isn’t already happening, it can be wise to keep your distance and not be a part of that downfall.
On the other hand, plenty of people meet their one true love when they are married to someone else; it’s not entirely unheard of, so you do you, girl!
Legally Separated
Another common marriage situation is legal separation. If the guy you’re potentially interested in has made it known that he’s legally separated, the chances are that things are over between him and the wife. There’s no guarantee that your time won’t be wasted if he decides to reconcile his previous relationship, but studies show that separation leads to divorce about 87 percent of the time.
Deciding on whether or not to pursue a married man who is legally separated is up to you. Some factors you might want to consider are whether or not the couple still live together, have children together, or have made plans to file for divorce. If you feel confident that your guy is clear to start something with you, go for it!
Going Through Divorce Proceedings
There are so many different situations within the realm of people who are going through a divorce that we couldn’t possibly touch on them all. They range from someone getting divorced after decades of a dead marriage to those who’ve been blindsided by a divorce. There are tons of situations in between. If you’re thinking about taking hints that a married guy is into you, you may want to be in on the details before you decide to move forward.
Remember that divorces are complicated, and no matter how much anyone says they’ve “been over it for a long time,” it’s still an adjustment and often an event that calls for grieving. A lot of people feel they are ready to date before, during, and after the legal proceedings of a divorce, but many jump in and find that it doesn’t work out in the long run.
That’s because there are so many unforeseen difficulties surrounding divorce, unexpected feelings, and things you can’t simply plan for. One way or the other, the choice is up to you. You know your guy and yourself better than we do, so if the two of you are sending signals back and forth, you can go for the gold if you want to!
The Long Estrangement
This situation could be completely ideal for you, or it could be your worst nightmare. I can’t tell you how many women get involved with married men because they felt that a long estrangement from the wife ensured that things were over and the gentlemen were free to be involved with them.
While in the beginning, that may be the case, sometimes things don’t go as planned in the long run. Before moving along with a married but estranged man, consider how things might play out long term. If you’re looking for a life partner, you may find that this man won’t be willing to divorce later on when you have feelings and have become attached.
Of course, if you’re okay with something shorter term, just flirting, or something casual, you could go for it and be just fine. Just consider all of your options carefully and keep yourself and your feelings protected.
Are Married Men Really Off Limits?
Before we dive into the signs, a married man likes you more than a friend; we’ve got to give out one last warning. Catching feelings for a married guy can happen anywhere. He could be the dad who picks his kids up from after—school care at the same time as you each day. Gradually, a conversation starts, and suddenly you’re both looking forward to kid pick-up for reasons other than missing your little cherubs.
He might even be the boss who makes excuses to stop by your desk often and ask you questions that aren’t necessary. Before you know it, you’re expecting him to stop by and can’t wait for him to flash his sly smile at you. Ladies, most of us aren’t out on the prowl to ruin marriages or anything of the likes, but life happens. We get it.
Whatever the situation turns out to be, understand the risks and unintended consequences that might be involved. These tricky relationships can take unexpected turns and go south, seemingly out of nowhere.
Finding out precisely if a married man is interested in you puts you in a good position. Once you know for sure, you can do what you want with the information. Some want to see because they’re interested too. Others may want to know so that they can set up some firm boundaries and move forward in a positive direction.
It’s easy to start doubting yourself when it comes to being on the receiving end of any special attention. So, how do you know for sure that he’s into you? There are probably plenty of signs if you take the time to think about it. Whether you decide to go forward with this guy or just need want to know so you can draw a line in the sand for him, here are several signs to help you move forward!
Signs This Married Gentlemen is Surely into You
Without any further holdup, here are some signs that lean towards this married guy being into you more than in the friendly sense.
He Makes Time to Chat With You
Yes, plenty of people are just friendly like that. They’ll always ask you about your day in passing and take care to be polite to everyone they come across. We typically can sense the difference when a married guy is polite. When he’s going out of his way to be near you and grab your attention or some time to talk, we can feel that too.
These little unnecessary conversations indicate that he’s feeling some way about you and has decided to act on it of his own accord. Maybe he doesn’t think anything will come of it; perhaps he’s testing boundaries with you. The judgment call is up to you!
He Often Gets You Alone
When a guy is into you, he will find time to be alone with you. Even for a quick moment allows them to say or do things they may not do with other people around. He might give a charming or testy compliment, just getting a better look at you, or he could be looking to gauge your reaction.
If he’s the guy, you regularly run into at the coffee stand outside of work, trying to get you alone might look a little different than say your boss at the office. If you feel like this married man is coming on to you, but you’re unsure if his request is legitimate, watch for his body language when the two of you are lone.
If he reaches out to touch you in any way, leans in close to you, or lets a long silence happen while holding your gaze, the man is probably flirting with you. Take it or leave it, girl, the choice is yours.
Does He Seem A Little Nosy to You?
If the flirty married man is a coworker, it can be hard to discern the types of conversations coworkers have naturally for those that have ulterior motives. For example, you spend a lot of time with your coworkers; over time, you get comfortable with some of them. That can lead to conversations about personal lives or updates on your dating status.
No big deal, you keep it professional but enjoy hearing about your work friends’ lives and share about yours with limits. The married guy may have naturally been a part of those conversations, or he may not have been privy to them at all. If he starts fishing for details or seeming overly interested in life and status, there’s usually a reason he wants to know – because he’s interested!
If you prefer that he stay out of your business, you can choose any number of ways to drop a hint – playful with a serious undertone to lighten the mood, or firm and to the point. If you’re into him, feel free to drop some subtle hints about your availability.
He’s Trying to Be The Funny Guy
It’s almost universal that women tend to go for men who can make them laugh. One study found that the more often a man attempted to make a woman laugh, and the more often it resulted in her laughing, the higher the chance was that she would be interested in dating.
Maybe he’s the funny dad at the park; perhaps he’s the office clown. Either way, if this man who so happens to be married is going out of his way to make you laugh specifically, there’s a good chance he’s trying to impress you.
Hey There, Body Language
Body language is an innate part of human behavior. In this study, Princeton researchers found that body language was even more telling than facial expression. If you feel like this married guy has the hots for you, pay attention to his body language around you. There are plenty of helpful guides for reading body language, but here are a few useful hints.
If he changes his stance with you, becoming broader and more open, it’s a definite sign. People who are closed off may have their arms crossed, or their bodies turned away from yours. More open people may have their arms outstretched, they may be standing tall or with their chest out.
Make a note of how he regularly presents himself to you. Sometimes situations are a one-off, but other times you may notice a pattern developing.
He’s Got Eyes for You
Have you ever felt like this married man has been watching you or making extra eye-contact with you? There’s a reason that eye-contact is so essential to humans. It’s a non-verbal signal of interest.
If you’re giving someone the time of day and genuinely listening to them, you’re making eye-contact. If you want to catch someone’s attention from across the room, looking at them until their gaze catches yours is a surefire way to do so.
This could be precisely what this man is doing to you. If you want to hold is gaze and slip a sly smile, go for it. If you wish to the attention to the end, you know what to do!
He Notices Small Details
You expect your best friend or the lady you sit next to at this office to notice when you’re wearing a radiant new blouse, or you’re rocking a new pair of heels. You don’t expect someone who’s not invested in you in any way to do the same.
So, if this gentleman is catching little details about you, it’s because he’s taken notice of you. A one-time comment here is there about a piece of jewelry, or the way you styled your hair may be nothing to note. But if he consistently notices or remembers small things about you or your life, he’s showing that those things were important enough to take note of to him.
You’re more than welcome to revel in compliments here, but be mindful of the response you want to get out of it. If you appreciate the attention, you can reciprocate, but if you’re not interested, you may want to throw out some boundaries for him, abide by.
He Gets Nervous Around You
This married gent may think he’s Rico Suave on the daily, but his subtle nervous ticks may give you a glimpse into the way he feels about you. Even the smoothest, most confident man can falter sometimes. A beautiful woman like you may be the thing that catches him off his game.
The only difference between a married man and not a married man’s nervous habits is that he may be trying to hide his nervousness around you a bit more due to his involvement with another woman. He may leave an awkward pause in conversation when trying to think of what to say to you, or his eyes may drift past you as he tries to keep himself from staring at you.
He Engages in Other Forms of Communication
A married man may or not be completely free to be talking on the phone, emailing, or texting you, depending on the state of his current relationship. It’s safe to say that there are probably fewer reasons for him to do so, given that status.
That being said, the man in question is going out of his way to send you a message or call you; he could be displaying interest. Take the example of the married dad at school pick-up. The two of you are talking about volunteering to help at the next school event. You say, sure, I’d love to help. Instead of him putting you in touch with the volunteer coordinator, he says here, let me have your number, and I’ll text you all the information.
Now, he’s made a reason to text you that could invite further conversation or communication via text. It could be nothing, but you could also say something like, “Why don’t you just give me her contact details, and I’ll reach out to her, it’ll save you the trouble!”
It’s an easy way to deflect and maintain boundaries if that’s what you want to do. On the other hand, you could take the bait and run with it too!
He’s Quiet About the Fact That He’s Married
Last but not least, a happily married man probably has no issues talking about his wife. Or allowing anyone to know that he’s married. A married man who is trying to pursue other women may be keeping quiet about it. This is definitely one of those signs a married man likes you more than a friend.
He could be avoiding the topic altogether, or he might be elusive when you ask questions. There’s a chance he thinks his status could alter your thoughts about him, but there’s also a chance that he’s hiding something. Just be wearing in this situation and keep in mind that your well-being is a priority, so do whatever you feel is right in this situation.
In the End, Trust Your Gut
Many of us can be trustful of our intuitions. If you get the general vibe that this married man is crushing on you, you can probably trust your gut on it. If things he says or does makes you feel uncomfortable, be sure to draw that line and set some boundaries quick.
Don’t hesitate to enlist the help of trust friends or colleagues to keep an eye on your interactions with this man for a second opinion. They can help you confirm or deny your suspicions and decide the best course of action going forward.
Wrapping Things Up
Pursuing a “married” man is an entirely personal decision. We threw in some quotes because a person who is legally married these days could be indicative of any number of unique situations. Take some time to consider the above signs that this guy might be into you and form your own opinion on the matter.
If you feel like it’s something you’re interested in, then girl, let your hair down and let things fall where they may. If you’re not into it, put your foot down and take the necessary steps to stomp out any unwanted flames he’s bringing on.
