This article is about spotting a potential bad wife. It’s meant for guys who are single, dating or thinking about marriage. I’m assuming that most of you reading this are looking for a woman to spend your life with, not just a few days, weeks, or months.
Not that there is anything wrong with looking for casual relationships and flings; in fact, I highly recommend finding a site that can hook you up with women looking for the same thing if that’s what you want.
But, if you are looking for something more permanent, such as marriage, then you need to keep your eyes open for signs that she will be a bad wife. Because, believe me, you don’t want to get into a long term relationship and regret it 5, 10, 20, or 30 years down the road.
Date The Bad Before You Commit To The Good?
There is an article on this blog titled Top 15 Types of Women You Should Date To Help You Appreciate A Good Woman. That article covers different types of women that you should casually date so that you can appreciate a better woman when you find her. In short, that article will help you spot some signs of a bad wife all on its own.
But, I wanted to write this article to talk about not-so-obvious signs… signs that you may miss or write off. I’m talking about signs that tell you who she is at the core – her beliefs, values, and habits that make her who she is.
While I believe that her core beliefs, values, and habits can change, I also believe that they can stay the same without a major awareness or shift in her life. So, you don’t want to be stuck with a woman who has really unhealthy beliefs, values, and habits that will make your marriage miserable!
So, without further ado…
7 Signs She Will Be A Bad Wife
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates
1. She Tries To Keep You All To Herself
When a woman doesn’t want you to hang out with other people – like family and friends – she believes on some level that you are supposed to devote your life to her and make your relationship not only the most important relationship in your life but the only relationship that really matters.
You don’t want a wife who is unwilling to let you nurture your other relationships. While your relationship with her will be the most important relationship of your life, you need to develop and nurture other relationships that benefit you in other ways.
Spotting a woman like this is easy, right? Wrong! She doesn’t have to outright tell you that she doesn’t want you to hang out with other people. She can subtly pull you away from your friends and loved ones by playing with your head and manipulating you.
She may tell you that if you loved her, you would choose her over them. Or she may find excuses to get you to stay with her or come to her when you are trying to enjoy quality time with other people.
If you find that you are not able to hang out with others anymore – and can’t figure out why, then she may be manipulating you without you knowing.
2. She Doesn’t Demand Respect From You
We can all be jerks. I get it. There may be days where you talk poorly to a woman out of anger or hurt. There may be days where you don’t treat her with respect. There may be days where you lie to get your way. And she will know it when you do those things to her. If she doesn’t stand up for herself and demand respect from you, then that’s a good sign she’s going to be a bad wife.
Some women are so desperate to get into a relationship or get married that they are willing to tolerate disrespect from a man.
And some women think so little of themselves that they are willing to tolerate disrespect from a man.
And tolerating disrespect, for any reason, can result in a lot of problems in your marriage.
Just because she is tolerating disrespect from you doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt her or offend her. Somewhere deep inside of her is a woman who wants respect, and each time you disrespect her, she keeps a record of it in that small space dedicated to that woman. Eventually, she will have a full cabinet of incidents where you disrespected her and hurt her, and one day that cabinet is going to explode!
When that cabinet explodes, your marriage will struggle. She may not get angry or tell you exactly how she feels, but there will be a lack of trust, communication, connection – and all the things that make a marriage good. And as the days go on, you will start to dislike your marriage more and more.
So, don’t settle for a woman who will let you walk all over her. Of course, you don’t want a bossy jerk for a wife, but you do want to find a woman who won’t let you treat her with anything less than the respect she deserves.
3. She Demands You Feel Happy/Good All The Time
After you get married, and life starts to move on, things happen. Circumstances take their toll, both physically and mentally, and sometimes you can’t be a strong, supportive person to your wife. Sometimes you get angry, upset, miserable, depressed, and unable to do what needs to be done.
Whether all of this is brought on by an acute or chronic illness, or just by an upsetting period of your life, your wife needs to have patience, compassion, and understanding in order to keep your marriage running smoothly.
If a woman doesn’t like it when you have a few bad minutes, think of how she will be when you have a bad month. She could be unsupportive, angry, and possibly demand that you get over it and start being happy again.
You don’t want a wife like that, trust me. A wife like that is the definition of a bad wife. She will make you sicker, more upset, or more depressed – and she will make you feel alone in the world, which is not what a wife should do.
4. She Has No Passion In Life Besides You
Passion is what helps us get up in the morning. It gives us a reason to keep going and make the most out of our days, and without it, we can struggle to figure out exactly what the hell we should be doing or why we should be doing anything.
Yet, so many people live without a real passion life!
It doesn’t matter what she’s passionate about – raising a family, boxing, crafting, finding success in her career, animals, equality, etc. Passion will give her purpose, and that will make her a more interesting, fun, balanced, and non-clingy wife – and while all of those things are important for a happy marriage, that last thing is really important!
If her only passion is YOU, then she is going to become smothering. You will be the only reason she gets up in the morning, and when you are not living up to her every expectation and fulfilling that void where her passion should be, your marriage is going to get rocky. You will become exhausted, she will become upset and unfulfilled, and that will go on for years until she gets a passion or you get a divorce.
5. She Doesn’t Wait For Facts To React
If she is incapable of gathering information before she blows her top, then you are setting yourself up for some future problems in your marriage.
Obviously, in your marriage, you are going to put honesty, respect, and communication high on your list… right? Right.
But, sometimes you are going to run into problems where you are unable to talk to your wife or give her the information she needs, and she is going to have to wait to find out what’s going on. If she’s someone who doesn’t wait for the facts to react, then you could end up dealing with a jealous, immature, and irrational wife who will put a big strain on your relationship.
For instance, if you have to work long-distance for a few months, which is quite a common thing now, there will be times that she won’t be able to get a hold of you. She may hear stories from other people about ‘what you are really doing’ and, believe me, other people will be more than willing to gossip about things they don’t know anything about. If she’s someone who loses her cool because of gossip and rumors, then you could be facing some big fights and a marriage where you have to rebuild trust even when you’ve done nothing wrong!
The bottom line is that you don’t want a bad wife who reacts to gossip, dreams, or premonitions instead of waiting for the facts. You want a wife who is willing to be rational and logical when it matters.
6. She Doesn’t Appreciate Your Efforts To Show Love And Support
You may not do what she wants you to do, but you do try to be a good guy to her. You show her the respect she deserves, you do nice things for her, you try to make her feel loved and supported – but despite all that, she doesn’t think you are trying hard enough.
This is a big sign that she could make a bad wife. If she doesn’t appreciate your efforts in the beginning, then she’s probably not going to appreciate them later on. And the more you don’t live up to some sort of expectation she has, the more nagging, fights, and hurt there will be in the relationship.
I’m not making this point so that you can put a tiny amount of effort into your relationship and demand she appreciates it. Effort is good. It’s just a point that everyone has different ways of showing love and support.
So if you are really trying to show love and support, and she doesn’t appreciate it, then she’s missing the point – you are doing what you can to be a good boyfriend and, eventually, husband.
And if she’s missing the point, she’s going to make you feel bad for the way you show love and support, which means she will not be a loving and supporting wife like you deserve. Hence, a bad wife.
7. Her Story About Herself Sucks
Whether it’s about her past, present, or future, the story that she tells you about herself (the story she believes about herself) sucks.
Keep in mind, I’m not talking about what happened or happens in her life. She may have a really crappy past and be having a really crappy today. But, what happened doesn’t matter as much as the story she tells about it… the version of it.
For instance, let’s say she had a lot of heartbreak in her past. She could tell a crappy story about that, such as “Every guy I have dated has used or abused me and I feel like I’m destined to meet and date jerks in my life.” Or, she could tell a better story, such as “I’ve dated a lot of jerks, but they have all taught me more about myself and what I want in a relationship.”
When she tells a better story about her life, you know that she is going to continue to tell a good story about her life, even when she’s your wife. She’s going to look at her life through an optimistic and hopeful lens, not a lens of misery, victimhood, and desperation.
You will appreciate a woman who can tell a good story about her past, present, and future. She will be more fun to be around. She will be happy! She will be more successful, supportive, understanding, compassionate, and all those other good things.
Always remember that the story she tells is the basis of her life. (Same goes for you, by the way.) A negative story equals a negative life, and a positive story equals a positive life.