For women all over the world, few things can cause more anxiety than wondering if you’re with the right guy. After all, if we’re not always in pursuit of “Mr. Right,” all we’re doing is wasting our time…right? Well, if you’re one of the countless girls who just can’t figure out this whole relationship nonsense, but you’re dying to walk down the aisle, this article is for you.
In this article, we’ll take a look at many signs and signals that he’s the one you will marry. From hints and subtle nods to “hit you over the head” obvious indicators, we’ll do our best to calm those nerves about your dating life.
The Myth of “Mr. Right”
OK, girls – I know that we’ve all had this “perfect guy for every girl” concept pushed down our throat since birth, but the truth is there are a lot “Mr. Rights” in this world. Yes, it’s fine to maintain a few romantic notions about dating. Yes, it’s OK to have plenty of standards in place when evaluating potential partners. Still, the idea there’s one perfect guy for every girl? Leave that to the movies.
In reality, what makes a guy a great potential partner is less about destiny and more about a wide array of down-to-earth factors. For instance:
- Compatibility – Compatibility doesn’t necessarily refer to liking all the same things but has to do with how two people interact and communicate. Compatible people compliment each other, like two puzzle pieces that, despite not being the same shape, can fit together to make a connection. Furthermore, compatibility is not a static situation but needs to be maintained as the two people grow.
- Respect – One of the most important aspects of a successful relationship or marriage is respect. If you have a partner that doesn’t respect you and all your traits (good and bad), there’s little to no chance you’ll have a healthy, long relationship. Of course, respect is a two-way street, and both partners need to participate to make it work.
- Communication – As un-romantic as it may be, there are few more important aspects of a relationship than communication. Without the ability to talk openly, honestly, and effectively to one another, the chances of maintaining a healthy relationship are slim to none. If you can talk with one another about difficult issues, and don’t grudges, you’re relationship will have a much better chance.
- Loyalty – There are a lot of types of relationships, each with their established boundaries and sets of rules. In this case, “loyalty” refers to adherence to those guidelines and a dedication to honest, open communication on what each person is feeling. No matter how you define loyalty in the context of your relationship, it’s important that your partner respect those boundaries.
- Goals – Though not wholly essential, women often find it helpful to identify potential marriage partners based on similar goals they possess. For instance, if one person wants to travel, and the other wants to raise kids on a farm someday, the chances of there being more than your average number of disagreements dramatically increases.
- Trust – Along with loyalty, trust is one of the most important indicators that a guy you’re with is the one you will marry. Do you trust him implicitly, or do you doubt what he says or feels is true? While it’s true that trust is earned, it’s also true that it’s very hard to get back once it’s gone. More than anything else, trust (or lack thereof) can be a huge indicator of your future together.
Signs He’s the One You Will Marry
Though there is established science behind compatibility, you can’t entirely discount romance when looking for signs he’s the one you will marry. In the following section, we’ll take a look at a wide range of factors that suggest that you’re with the one. If you find yourself saying “yes” to a lot of these questions, chances are you’ve already found your Mr. Right.
You Think of the Partnership, Not the Wedding
Along with a definite focus on the romantic aspect of compatibility, the modern world gave many of us a distinct “princess-like” attitude about our weddings. We can’t wait to have an entire day devoted to us, with all the flowers, gowns, and music that goes along with it. However, if these things are all you can picture when you picture your wedding, there might be a problem.
One of the most significant signs he’s the one you will marry is that you think about your wedding because you’re enthusiastic about your partnership. In the end, you want to stand up and declare your love for each other in front of everyone you know, and you’re eager to begin your life together – not just anxious for attention.
He’s Receptive to Your Criticisms
Even the best guys have attributes and tendencies that we’d like to see worked on before we tie the knot. While you might think that the best indication that he’s the right person for you is a lack of these things, the better indicator is how he reacts when you tell him you’d like him to make a change. After all, being with a guy who can’t take any criticism is not going to help you avoid arguments.
If he genuinely listens and makes an effort to be better, it’s a sure sign that he’s long-term partner potential. This behavior indicates both a respect and appreciation of your feelings, as well as a willingness to put your desires in front of his. For many women, a guy being willing to change something about themselves is the ultimate romantic gesture.
You Talk Openly with Friends About Him
One of the most prominent signs he’s the one you will marry is that you talk openly and honestly with your friend about him. When we have doubts about our relationships, we often don’t want to have those doubts reinforced by outside opinions. In short, if we suspect we’re with the wrong guy, we don’t always tell our friends everything about them.
When they’re in a healthy, supportive relationship, women tend to talk to their friends about how happy they are. Instead of griping about what your beau did or didn’t do, you’re instead more likely to humble-brag about how great he is. Of course, if you’re honest with your friends about him and they still think he’s up to snuff, it’s a sure sign that he’s a keeper.
You Can Trust Him with Jobs and Tasks
One of the more subtle ways that you can tell he’s the one you’ll marry is if you openly trust him to run errands for you or perform tasks for you, with the expectation that he’ll actually do them (and do them well). Many girls have been with guys that they wouldn’t trust to hold their purse for two seconds. When you’re with a keeper, you have no problem trusting him to perform a wide array of tasks.
Another way that this enters into evaluating your partner is when he is willing to learn something new to accomplish that task. This especially true if the task is something girly like “folding clothes.” If he has no idea how to fold a blouse properly but is willing to look it up to not disappoint you, you’re looking at a man worth marrying.
You Have Productive Arguments (and Forgive Each Other)
Compatibility and arguing have almost nothing to do with each other. As much as we’d all love to think that the perfect relationship means never having to fight with our partner again, the truth is that disagreements will always be there, and they’re not necessarily bad. What makes the right guy different from the wrong guy is the way you argue, and how productive those arguments are.
A man worth marrying will not resort to criticism or defensiveness during an argument and will do his best not to introduce other topics that have nothing to do with the issue at hand. Instead, debates will be productive, with a clear resolution. Afterward, the two of you must forgive each other thoroughly to avoid saving grudges for the future, which can have a dramatic effect on your happiness down the line.
You’re Relieved to Have Dating Behind You
For all the griping we do about dating, there’s no escaping the fact that dating is also kind of exhilarating. That new hot guy at work, that ex that you’re not entirely over – even when you’re with someone, your mind can be a maze of “what if” scenarios. When you’re with the right guy, however, that sense of wondering what could be is often replaced with relief.
This relief relates to the idea that you don’t have to go fishing for a new beau anymore, and that you’ve found the person you’re meant to be with. Chances are – if you come to feel at peace with most aspects of your relationship with your partner – you’ve got a guy that’s worth walking the aisle beside.
You Have Inside Jokes and Laugh a Lot
One of the surefire ways you can tell he’s the one you will marry is if you can laugh a lot together. This point doesn’t just refer to when you’re watching “The Office” or giggling at memes, but when you’re alone together with no outside stimuli. Another huge indicator is if you have inside jokes that only he and you understand, which can provide enormous opportunities to bond.
Laughter is one of the essential components of pair-bonding and can bring you closer to your future-spouse than even the most romantic night out. This isn’t to say that a lack of humor signals doom for your relationship, but it certainly bodes well for your relationship if you can exhaust yourselves laughing at a joke that’s just for you.
He Doesn’t Try to Change You
Few things can cause more contention in a relationship than one person attempting to change the other’s personality, likes and dislikes, mannerisms, etc. When a person tells you they love you for who you are, and then go out of their way to change everything about you, it can be a huge signal that you’re “Mr. Right” is actually very, very wrong for you.
While it’s true that everyone changes a little bit as time goes own, good partnerships are about growing and accepting those changes, not trying to force them. If your boyfriend is the right guy for you, he’ll nurture your growth with love and respect, not try to shoehorn you into a personality he’d prefer.
You’re Comfortable Planning for the Future
Look a few months in the future. Is your boyfriend still in the picture? Now do the same, but replace those months with years. We’ve all been in relationships that were either clearly or not-so-clearly intended to be short romances or flings. In these situations, you wouldn’t assume the guy would be there next week, let alone helping you out of a wheelchair at age 85.
However, if you’re comfortable planning for the future and can honestly include your guy in the picture, it can be a big sign he’s the one you will marry. An even stronger sign is if the two of you can sit down and actively plan for your future. This process could include setting goals of all kinds (romantic, financial, travel) and actually charting a path to achieve them.
You Can Be Yourself and Bare Your Soul
Most people have found themselves in a relationship where they felt like they couldn’t be themselves. Maybe they put too much effort into trying to impress they’re mate and are stuck being an unrealistic version of themselves, or may they just be too shy to nervous around their beau to “let it all hang out” every day.
However, if you can be your silliest, your most introspective, and your most vulnerable in front of your man without fearing judgement, there’s a good chance you’re with the right guy. The ability to be yourself is something women tend to put too little value on. Once you’re in a relationship where you can, however, you’ll never want to go back to pretending.
You Legitimately Miss Each Other
It’s perfectly normal to miss your man when he’s gone for a week visiting family, or on a camping trip with his buddies. When you’re with the one you’re supposed to marry, however, the two of you might miss each other after a few hours. Though this may seem like a mushy romantic exaggeration, the basis for it lies in how your body chemistry changes when you’re with someone you genuinely love.
When you miss someone, it’s because something you’ve grown accustomed to isn’t there. Maybe you’re currently doing something you know they’d enjoy. Maybe you’re comfortable (or uncomfortable), and you know your boyfriend would be the perfect addition to the situation. Either way, you legitimately miss them with both your mind and body.
He Remains Chivalrous
Even the jerkiest guys can hold open doors for a few dates. A real keeper, however, is the type of guy who still does chivalrous things for you long after the “honeymoon phase” is over. In most relationships, both men and women tend to become complacent at some point. When this happens, a lot of the little “niceties” tend to take a backseat to the day-to-day operations of the relationship.
If you’ve been with your guy for a few years and he still offers to do little things for you, still cares about your comfort and health, and still finds small ways to make you feel special, he’s a definite keeper. Of course, it won’t hurt you to keep him motivated by doing some nice little things for him, as well. In many cases, these little acts of kindness are the glue that hold relationships together.
He Fits Into Your Social Life
We’ve all had guys that we wouldn’t dare bring around our friends. Sure, we like them, but we fear our friend would spend the entire time picking apart his clothes, mannerisms, etc. While keeping a man secret can be fine for a fling, if your long-term guy doesn’t fit into your social life at all, it doesn’t bode well for the future of your relationship.
Your friends are your friends for a reason, after all, so if you can’t bring your guy around them, something might be wrong.
This isn’t to say that your boyfriend has to get along with all your friends entirely – it just means that you can insert him into your social life without worrying. If he really is the type of guy you want to marry, he’ll do his best to show your friends his best qualities. Likewise, if your friends are worth keeping, they’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.
He Brags About You to Others
There are a lot of ways someone can be supportive within the context of a relationship, but one of the surefire signs that he’s the one you will marry is that he brags about you to other people. A genuinely supportive spouse doesn’t just cheer you on when you’re around, after all, they support you all day, every day, and they don’t care who knows about it.
If you’re hearing from mutual friends that he’s talking you up when you’re not around, it’s a great sign that you’ve found someone who’s truly, honestly supportive. One way to strengthen this bond, of course, is to do the same for him! Remember, being kind and supportive of your partner is not about what they see, but what they don’t see.
He Makes Sacrifices for You (and Vice Versa)
We touched on this earlier, but it’s important to reiterate that good, healthy relationships require often sacrifices on the part of both individuals. These don’t have to be dramatic, uber-romantic gestures, but simply a conscious acknowledgment of the other person’s feelings and desires, and a willingness to put those above your own.
If you notice that your boyfriend is often putting your needs and wants first, is willing to sacrifice his own comfort for yours, and is ready to put his life on hold to help you grow, he’s almost certainly in for a long-term investment. Of course, the ability and willingness of you to do the same for him are what often makes for a perfect partnership.
You Share the Same Basic Values
He can be the hottest, nicest, most generous man on the plant – if you don’t share the same fundamental values, the chances of your relationship working in the long-term are very slim. From kids to where to live to faith and philosophy, avoiding talking about basic values now will only compound problems in the future.
If you genuinely share something special with your beau, however, it’s possible for the other items on this list (ability to make sacrifices, planning for the future, etc.) to impact your fundamental values. What matters the most is that you can have an open dialogue about what you want in the future, and what you expect out of your partner.
The Final Word
As you can see, there is a wide array of signs he’s the one you will marry. Though some are easier to spot than others, and some are much more important to the health of your relationship than others, all of these points are major indicators of your potential as a married couple.
Furthermore, you’ll notice that few of these items are overtly romantic or require a grand gesture of love – they simply indicate a compatibility that has potential to last a long time. They also indicate the presence of honesty, trust, respect, communication, and loyalty.
So, if you begin to notice your beau bragging about you to others, making sacrifices for your future together, and putting your needs above his own, there’s a good chance you’ve found a man worth holding on to. Sure, there may be no “Mr. Right,” but that doesn’t mean he isn’t the right guy for you.
