It is typical for movies and TV shows to feature women suffering from the pain of heartbreak. But, they rarely show men experience the same emotions. Is this because men do not feel the same pain after a breakup? Most certainly not. After a breakup, it is easy to see the signs of a broken-hearted man.
Men may show their emotions differently than women, but they experience heartbreak and vulnerability. They may not sit around eating ice cream and crying to their guy friends, but they do show how they feel in their unique ways. When you know what to look for, the signs of a broken-hearted man can be rather apparent.
Men deal with their emotions in their way. Some might show anger and want to punch a wall, while others might shut down and not show any feelings at all. Of course, there will be men who fit somewhere in between these extremes. No matter what, when you see the signs of a broken-hearted man, take time to show you care and listen if they need to talk.
How to Help an Introspective Man
Some men will subtly show their emotions. They might become introspective and reflective as they try to understand what happened to the relationship. They might not sleep well, and they might reach out to friends and family members for help. Some men will even reach out to their girlfriends to find out what happened to end the relationship.
Men who become introspective often need closure and cannot recover from their heartbreaks until they can learn from the experience. Friends and family members can help by listening and letting the guy talk through their feelings. While an ex-girlfriend might be confused or angered by the call, she can be helpful by being honest and helping her ex find the closure he needs.
People who are introspective need time to think and process how they feel. The processing does not happen immediately, but with time, closure does occur. An ended relationship is often like a death, so grief is a universal experience. Like someone working through the death of a loved one, it is common for them to move through the stages, which often end with closure.
The Anger of Heartbreak
On the flip side, some men experience anger along with heartbreak. It can be common for some men to lash out at objects, like walls. Tension is often relieved through aggression. It is better to punch a wall than to hit a person.
Some men will find relief in destroying objects that bring back memories. Men might tear up photographs or burn relics of the past relationship. It may not be the healthiest way to process the end of a relationship, but for some men, it does work.
Anger is an honest emotion that men and women experience. For some men, it is also the emotion they experience after a breakup. The only way to get through an emotion is to feel it. Those angry, primal screams can be incredibly liberating.
Finding Relief Through Avoidance
Another way to get over painful breakups is to avoid negative feelings. Some men will throw themselves into life, becoming as busy as possible. In many cases, men experience shock with the breakup. Then, they do what they can to avoid experiencing anything negative by getting busy doing anything but thinking about the past relationship.
Some men will immerse themselves in work, while others might find themselves exercising to extremes. Others might spend more time with friends, while some might get involved in other activities like gambling or drinking. Whether a noble or dangerous activity, the goal is to avoid thinking about the relationship.
Going to the gym can be a way to deal with the sadness men feel post-breakup. While sometimes the experience of going to the gym and sweating through pain can be cathartic, some men take it to the extreme. If men are spending too much time at the gym and becoming obsessed with being there, friends should step in to help him deal with the issues.
Friends and family might think that everything is normal. But the reality is that it isn’t. Avoiding feelings is not healthy. Friends and family should pay attention to their loved one’s behavior, especially if they are avoiding things they usually enjoy. Sometimes avoidance results in panic attacks or other psychological issues that can be long-lasting.
Odd Behavior on Social Media
A broken-hearted man might begin watching his ex on social media. Missing a girlfriend can make men behave strangely. Some take it out on their exes on social media. They might look at who their exes are tagging to see if they have a new relationship with someone else. They might hack the account, especially if they have passwords.
Signs of a broken-hearted man can be found on social media, especially if the girlfriend is doing well. When his ex is having fun on social media, he might be suffering through seeing her smiling and enjoying life. That suffering could turn sour, and he might do something stupid online, to get back at the girl who broke his heart.
Reaching a State of Depression
With the ache of a broken heart, some men find themselves becoming depressed. This is not just a feeling of sadness, but a state of depression that requires therapy and special care. They might begin thinking their former relationship was the best, which only creates troubles with their emotional and psychological state.
Men who have struggled with depression might try unusual things to win back their former love. This might come as a shock to the ex, who probably doesn’t want to hear from him. Other issues might cause depression, and the break up exacerbates it. To deal with severe psychological problems, men who have depression should work with a therapist.
While it is perfectly normal to experience sadness after a breakup, it is not healthy for the grief to last for a long time. Men who experience depression will find that they no longer enjoy the things they once enjoyed. They also feel like no one will love them again. These tough feelings are beyond what is normal.
Fortunately, there are several ways to treat depression. Working with a therapist or a health care provider is the best method. Some men might have to take some medication to get their depression under control. They might not ever be fully cured, but with the help of a professional, it is possible to get through bouts of depression without making any regrettable mistakes.
Finding Confidence with Other Girls
Heart-broken men often make bad choices. One of those is to jump into quick sexual relationships with any girl who makes eye contact. The attention of random girls can make a man feel like a man again. While this might not seem problematic at first, the heart-broken man might find himself stuck with a woman he doesn’t like that much.
Quick hookups might give men some immediate confidence. It might make them feel like they are moving on, but in reality, a quick hookup is just a coping mechanism and not a healthy one at that.
Having one-night stands might give men the confidence they need to move on from their broken relationships, but it does create a small problem. Those one-night stands might want more, and men then have to deal with that issue. Hopefully, the need for one-night stands won’t last long, and men will move on to look for more meaningful relationships.
Plenty of Sleeping Alone
Instead of sleeping with women, some men will respond to breakups by sleeping. The emotions of a breakup can leave a man physically, emotionally, and psychologically exhausted. They respond by sleeping more than they have ever slept.
For some men, the need to sleep is because of the tiredness they feel because they are emotionally drained. But, others sleep as an avoidance technique. When they are sleeping, they do not have to feel the sadness, anger, or frustration that comes with a painful breakup.
Excessive sleeping is one of the signs of a broken-hearted man. So if you notice this from a man in your life, check in on him occasionally. He might not be eating well or showering as often as he should. He might also be calling in sick to work, too. He must know people care about him, so he has a reason to get out of bed.
Zoning Out With Memories
The memories of the relationship can be painful. While some men take great care to avoid thinking about their exes, some men will zone out in thought when those memories pop up. These memories can bring men down, especially if they become nostalgic and begin to think about what they could have done to keep the relationship going.
When this happens, friends and family who notice the zoning out should bring their friend back to reality. Nothing good happens when heart-broken men get stuck in their heads and think about all they did to destroy the relationship. The mind can play tricks on people by altering memories and making people feel worse than they already do.
Sure, there are benefits to meditation. But, this behavior is not meditation. Getting lost in this type of thinking can lead to depression and panic. The broken-hearted man gets into his head rather than being involved in what is happening in reality. Detachment like this is unhealthy.
Removing All Memories
While some men get lost in the memories, others will completely delete them all from existence. For some men, seeing tokens of the broken relationship can be too painful. To deal with it, they throw away every little thing that reminds them of their lost relationship. They don’t want to talk about it or think about it. This purge is almost like deleting the memory from a computer.
It is tough to get over a relationship, especially one that has pain. Sensations, like sounds and smells, can trigger memories. Instead of trying to delete everything, it is healthier to turn to writing about the memories. Getting them out, rather than holding them in, is a better coping mechanism that works like closure.
It can also be cathartic to revel in the positive aspects of the relationship, so the hurtful feelings do not become overwhelming. To balance it out, men should look to the origin of the pain. It could be from the end of the relationship or because of the fear that they will never find another one.
Rather than going to an extreme, working through emotions and getting a better understanding of yourself is a healthier way to handle a breakup.
Snacks and Some Netflix
Men will also do what many women do after a breakup: put on their fat pants, break out the ice cream and potato chips, and watch movies. They get out of their heads and watch shows that make them feel other emotions. Eventually, they can get back to life, even if they’ve gained a few pounds.
Men who do this usually do it alone, while women who do this will have their friends with them for support. Usually, when men respond to breakups this way, they don’t have to do it often. They might still feel sad and broken-hearted, but they tend to be able to get on with life.
However, if men do decide that their couches are the best places to be after a relationship, friends need to intervene. Nothing will happen if the heart-broken man never leaves his home. Of course, that is the point of not walking out the front door. But, it is also the sadness that comes from hiding on the couch.
After the original heartbreak is over, men need to get back out there to meet people and engage in life. Some people never re-engage in the dating world; they have become so dedicated to wallowing in their misery. This is no way to live. A few nights on the couch might be comforting, but it should not be long-lasting.
No More Dating – Ever
Some men will turn their breakup into a moratorium on all dating. They decide that they never want to feel this way again, so they refuse to let anyone new into their lives. They completely avoid dating. They stay away from friends who want to set them up with women. Dating is painful for them, so they want nothing to do with it.
The cycle of meeting, dating, and breaking up can be too much for people to handle. But, all this cycle means is that you haven’t found the right person yet. Men shouldn’t give up, because they only need to meet one person to break the cycle forever. Finding a relationship is worthy of the struggle it takes to find it. If you give up, you’ll never find it.
Recognizing When Heartbreak Becomes Depression
Men who are heartbroken are experiencing a form of grief. Dealing with it can be painful and slow. It can also be confusing because the feelings vary from person to person.
What might be reasonable for one man might not be the same for another man. This is why it can be challenging to recognize whether the emotions have moved into depression or if they are still grieving from the breakup. Some men are predisposed to depression, so they might be on the lookout for depression to strike again.
Men who have support systems in their lives often have what they need to avoid falling into depression. Those support systems include
- Stable employment
- Strong friend groups
- Healthy family relationships
- Spiritual guidance
- Health insurance
- Sense of community
Men who do not have support systems are more likely to have their heartbreak turn into depression than those who have the support. When the sadness lasts too long, heartbroken men should seek help from a mental health therapist. These symptoms are not to be ignored.
Feeling Physically Sick
What might be reasonable for one man might not be the same for another man. This is why it can be challenging to recognize whether the emotions have moved into depression or if they are still grieving from the breakup. Some men are predisposed to depression, so they might be on the lookout for depression to strike again.
Since physical and mental wellness is tied together, both need to be taken care of to recover from painful breakups.
Feeling Numb During Daily Activities
Another common sign of a broken-hearted man is when he feels numb. Sometimes men will show their numbness in everyday activities. They find it difficult to concentrate, and they have a blank stare on their faces. When the heartbreak is so painful, sometimes the only way to cope is to try to feel nothing at all.
This coping mechanism sometimes works in the short term. But, when the numbness becomes preferable, it might be a sign of depression or another psychological issue. Treatment might involve taking time off of work or finding a way to take care of yourself so you can experience healthy emotions again.
Avoiding Joyful Activities
Along with feeling numb, some men might find that they no longer feel joy with activities they once enjoyed. This is one of the sure signs of depression. Of course, after a breakup, men commonly avoid doing things they did with their exes. What they don’t do is avoid having fun with their friends.
The pain that comes with a breakup can be soul-crushing. In fact, it can take away the desire to have fun, which only builds up depression. This is why it is so important to recognize these feelings as soon as they arise so you can get the help you need. By getting help, you will be able to get back to doing what you love to do.
No Self Care
“Self-care” is a buzzword that means more than spending time at a spa. It includes eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and taking care of the mind and spirit, too. When men are broken-hearted, the last thing they do is take care of themselves. They might shower and shave for work, but they often eat fast food and avoid exercising or exercise to the extreme.
Men who are broken-hearted might have a few days where their appetite isn’t the same, but this experience shouldn’t last long. If the lack of self care becomes noticeable, then it is time for an intervention from a health care provider, as it is a sign that the pain has turned to depression or another psychological issue.
Abusing Substances
One of the most troublesome signs of a broken-hearted man is substance abuse. Sure, some men will drown their sorrows in alcoholic beverages with friends. But, if the struggles continue or turn to something a bit more potent, then it is time for help. Numbing the mind with substance abuse is never healthy.
To avoid falling into the trap of self-medicating, heart-broken men might want to think about limiting their alcoholic beverages. They could ask their friends to help them stay away from the bar, especially if they know they are susceptible to depression.
Obsessing on the Breakup
Another common sign that depression could be on the horizon for a heart-broken man is obsessing on the breakup. It can be helpful to talk about the breakup. But, heart-broken men who talk about the breakup too often just bring themselves down even more.
Being with all types of emotions is a healthy thing to do, but eventually, it will be time for the pain and sadness to pass. The healthy thing to do is to let it pass, but continuing to talk about the breakup will not end the depression. Instead, continually talking about it will continue to bring back painful emotions.
