There are different kinds of women. Some are confident in themselves, and others are the complete opposite and totally insecure.
Information is knowledge and with knowledge comes power.
It’s important you understand the signs of insecure women. This will help you figure out whether you want to continue seeing this girl.
Don’t kid yourself. We are all insecure to a degree and seeing a couple signals of insecurity isn’t enough evidence to throw in the towel.
If you think you are going to find a gal with zero insecurities, you are barking up the wrong tree. Mild insecurity is manageable. However, too much insecurity is a recipe for disaster.
Beware of that toxic woman who is loaded with insecure moments. You need to run far and fast from her.
Red Hot Signs Of Insecure Women
#1 – Miss Defensive
One of the in-your-face telltale signs of an insecure woman is taking everything as a criticism, so she lashes out at you defensively. Often, you don’t do a thing and she figures out a way to react.
This type of girl naturally reads way too much into things and makes a mountain out of a molehill.
#2 – Miss Control Freak
In a balanced and healthy relationship, both the guy and the gal never lose their independent identity. When a woman is insecure, she will feel threatened if you find any happiness outside your relationship life. Even when you are just hanging out with the guys, she’s going to get upset or uncomfortable.
Often, she’s going to try to interfere and guilt you into canceling your plans. Talk about a serious danger signal.
This lady wants to be the only thing in your life, and she will do whatever it takes to make sure that becomes your reality. She will lie, manipulate, and get bossy to keep you under her wing.
Is she always asking you where you were and questioning you about the details?
You might not notice this at first, but it will start snowballing, and you need to get out before you get trapped in a cycle of demeaning negativity.
#3 – Miss Jealous
A little innocent jealousy in a relationship is healthy. After all, hopefully, you care deeply about one another.
On the flip side, an overdose of jealousy is a solid signal pointing toward insecurity. Does her jealousy flare up when you are innocently talking with a pretty woman?
If you look at a girl, does she get nasty and start giving it to you? Often, insecure women play the victim and try to get the guy to feel bad.
This type of woman is worried about being traded in for a new model because she has low self-esteem and doesn’t deem herself worthy of you, although she will never admit that to your face in a zillion years.
Her tools to keep you in line include manipulation, jealousy, and playing the control card. She will have no trouble searching through your phone without your permission or hacking into your computer to read your emails.
Is this really the type of gal you want in your life romantically?
#4 – Miss Belittler
Insecure people love to belittle and bully others. All she’s doing is trying to make herself feel better about who she is, but it’s really a means to an end.
This tactic is a subconscious attack on your self-worth. She wants to take you down with her, so you feel bad too. So nasty, but sadly, it’s true.
Deep down, she really doesn’t know why you want her, and the only way she thinks she can keep you is to break you down, so you don’t have the confidence to stand on your own two feet.
Yikes, you better run fast!
#5 – Needy Reinforcement And Validation
Insecure women just aren’t comfortable in their own skin, and although she likes to belittle the crap out of you, she also needs your approval and support. She needs you to feel bad, so she can feel better about herself.
Judging others creates her self-worth because she has no internal belief in who she is or the values she possesses.
Insecure people need a constant supply of flattery, which makes her clingy. It doesn’t take long for this type of women to drain you mentally and emotionally.
This woman is going to brag before it feels fabulous, and it pushes people to give her more attention. She is an attention seeker.
#6 – Casting The Spell Of Insecurity And Guilty Shame
Insecure girls like to make their partners feel guilty about doing things outside the relationship. Has she ever made you feel bad about hanging out with your family or friends or even going to the gym without her?
Insecure people have a habit of trying to make other people insecure too. These women never look for acceptance outside the relationship, and they don’t understand why their partner would even try.
She’s going to do her best to break you from your family and friends because she wants you all to herself. This woman will go so far as to make you choose between her and your family. Holy crap that’s nasty!
This narcissistic behavior is only easily seen if you are looking for it. If you’ve got a secure partner, she will understand and be happy, not needing all your attention.
#7 – Grudge Galore
An insecure woman will do her best to hold a grudge forever. Why? Well, she doesn’t think she deserves your love, so she will keep the grudge as collateral.
This will change your behavior and make you feel like you’re walking on broken glass continuously. You know the tiniest thing will set her off. This type of girl just doesn’t know how to forgive because she has no idea how to love unconditionally.
#8 – Miss Overreact Queen
Typically, this type of insecure woman will try to make you feel like an idiot and guilty and hold a rock-solid grudge. These things happen slowly, and everything is always blown way out of proportion.
This trait helps lift her and shove your face in the dirt. Need I remind you she finds no value in herself, and that’s why she’s got to use you for validation.
#9 – The Blame Game
No matter what, she will never acknowledge her flaws or weaknesses and will continue to blame everything on someone else. Pointing the finger is an automatic with a seriously insecure woman.
Deep inside, she knows her flaws, but she doesn’t have the confidence to admit them to you or anyone else.
Someone is always going after her and setting her up to fail. She is frustrated she can’t move forward in life because she’s unable to take responsibility for her own actions. This lady has no idea how to learn from her mistakes.
#10 No Honesty Talk Ever
In time, a relationship will show you your flaws that need to be addressed. Conflict arises in time with any relationship. An insecure woman won’t open herself up to serious discussions about your relationship because she can’t see her flaws; she refuses to.
Newsflash! If you want a healthy relationship, you will have to have open heart to heart conversations from time to time. This may be difficult, but it’s got to happen if you want your union to grow.
If you want a successful relationship, you’ve got to see the flaws in each other and take responsibility for them.
Insecure women won’t look at their weaknesses, and constructive criticism just doesn’t float her boat. Bottom line…It’s impossible to have an open and meaningful conversation about the serious side of your relationship with a messed up, insecure women.
#11 – Welcomes Failure
Insecure people take pleasure watching other people fail because they consider themselves failures too.
If your girlfriend won’t support your dreams and tries to tell you that you’re wrong and you need to set different goals, she’s insecure and you don’t need her.
Insecure people are negative, and they love misery. Watch yourself or she will steal your happiness too.
#12 – This Gal Needs You To Want And Need Her
It’s nice to feel needed, and it’s nice to hear someone say they can’t live without you. In most relationships, this doesn’t go past the surface. It’s just a sweet figure of speech.
If you are secure, you know you don’t need another person to be happy. In a healthy relationship, people stay together by choice. You should stay with your partner because you want to, not because you feel you have to.
If your woman needs you to want her, she’s not the woman you need in your life.
This kind of woman wants you to feel so crappy and weak that you will stay with her forever. She thinks, if you don’t feel you need her, then you will run. Security and confidence are a threat to an insecure woman.
No doubt, this explains why she likes to demand you, control you, manipulate you, and tell you what to do.
#13 – She Drops Her Life To Be The One And Only In Your Life
It’s clear insecure women hate themselves; that’s why they want to jump right into your life for validation.
In a healthy relationship, you have happy independence from your partner, but you also have that part of your life that you merge. It’s the shared space in your relationship that is important.
Insecure girls don’t have that separate space with her own stuff, so she has to dive into yours. Almost immediately, your relationship with her will become the priority in her life. She won’t care about her friends or hobbies because you will come first.
You might not notice this until after the fact. As you start spending more time together, see how much of herself she is throwing away to make sure she is always with you. If she’s a diver, you better watch out.
How Do You Let Go Of Insecurity In A Relationship?
Tip Two – Knock It Off With The Psyching Out
Many women are insecure in relationships and one way they combat this is to slow down her mind and kick the negative thinking to the curb. It makes sense to say the way she thinks is going to impact her relationship. So it’s important you have productive thoughts in her head.
It won’t take you long to figure out if the girl you are with is battling with insecurities. Unless they are interfering directly with your relationship moving forward naturally, this sort of thing shouldn’t be too much of a big deal.
Tip Three – Let Go Of The Baggage
Everyone has been in a relationship, at one time or another, where they have wanted to wish it all away forever. You’ve got baggage and so does pretty much any woman you are ever going to date. What’s important is that you don’t bring this past baggage into the relationship. Women seem to be notorious for this and it’s a very bad move.
You don’t want to hear about her evil ex and how he screwed her over again and again and she doesn’t want to hear about the psycho you used to live with. That crap will kill your relationship fast. And when it comes to feeling insecure, bringing all that baggage to the table screams insecurity.
Tip Four – Black And White Doesn’t Work
If you’ve got an issue with your girlfriend, make sure whatever you do that you don’t point the finger at her. Not unless you are ready for a fight. Keep your door open for compassion and understanding and accept the fact that, sometimes, you’re going to be right, and other times, you’re going to be wrong. That’s just how the relationship cookie crumbles and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Tip Five – Talk About The Uncomfortable Stuff
Don’t forget, she’s got fears and she needs to feel comfortable to tell you about them and trust you with them. Which means you should never ever throw them back in her face.
Make a point of talking about the tough stuff with her and respect each other enough to listen to what’s on each other’s mind. This is vital if you are going to kick her insecurities to the curb, so you can build a strong and healthy long-term relationship.
The Do’s And Don’ts Of Dating An Insecure Woman
Regardless of the damage from a past relationship, it’s not weird for someone’s confidence to take a smack after a negative experience. Many people recover; however, some guys and gals bring the negative with them, and eventually, it causes an end to it all.
It’s challenging to date an insecure person. You don’t have to give up. Here are a few tactics that will help you figure out the best move for you.
Don’t: Think It’s Only About You
If your girlfriend doesn’t want to go out, you need to stop yourself from assuming it’s because of you. Maybe she had a bad day or didn’t sleep well?
It’s important you stop psychoanalyzing yourself all the time. That’s just not healthy.
Don’t criticize your partner for being too quiet or for not doing what you think they should be doing. Just grab your partner’s hand and enjoy the silence. There’s no reason you can’t enjoy each other without saying a thing.
Do: Give Compliments With Meaning
There’s no doubt compliments go a long way in any relationship. This is an easy tool that will help you build confidence and self-esteem. If your partner is looking amazing, make sure you tell them.
Make a point to compliment them on their hair, clothes, smile, personality, and so on. This is setting you up for a bonus to get a nice compliment in return.
Don’t: Set Her Off
It doesn’t take much to set off an insecure woman. She’s insecure about herself and isn’t comfortable stepping outside her comfort zone.
If you know she is sensitive about her weight, make sure you don’t comment on it. If she doesn’t like her style, don’t make any comments about it, negative or positive. Why? An insecure person will find a way to flip it, no matter how positive you wanted the message to be.
Do: Make Sure You Build Her Confidence
Understand, if you are tackling the challenge of dating a woman who’s severely insecure, you need to take action to help build her confidence level. To do this, you need to open your heart to her and let her know you realize she needs a little more confidence. Don’t back down on this point but keep it gentle.
The last thing you want to do is offend her.
The more you help her believe in herself, the better. Stick with it and let her know you are there for her.
Don’t: Challenge Her On Her Insecurities
The worst thing you can do is challenge her on her insecurities. These are her weak points, and remember, she has little to zero belief in herself. Work around this by giving her the sincere positive comments she deserves but make sure you let her know she can’t run all over you.
Reassure her that you are looking out for her best interests because you believe in her and that your wish is for her to believe in herself. This approach will either make or break your relationship, but it’s got to be done.
Don’t forget there is a reason or many reasons for her insecurities, many of which might not be under her control. You are best to reassure her that you are there for her when she is ready.
Better to find out sooner than later, don’t you think?
Just be sure you don’t tap too deeply into her insecurities if you are serious about making something long-term with this woman.
Final Words
Insecure women are difficult to deal with. That’s a total understatement, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to create a loving and giving union with a woman that doesn’t have the power to believe in herself.
Don’t give up if you feel she’s worth it. If you can picture yourself with her in the long run, you need to accept this will take time and patience.
Talk to her about what you think and don’t let her manipulate or control you to try to avoid the questions. If she is firm on doing this, then you’ve got no choice but to walk away.
Often, a woman just needs you to show her you believe in her and then the walls come down and the doors open.
