According to the experts, if you just broke up with your ex and he’s already back into another relationship, it’s definitely a rebound relationship. Perhaps it’s bittersweet, but maybe not. Knowing your ex has a new fling might hurt initially out of the starting gates, but remember, exes are exes for a reason, right?
Signs Your Ex Is in a Rebound Relationship
Let’s get started with some signals your ex is going to fail in his new relationship.
SignalHe’s Using Her to Forget You
There are many guys who jump into a new relationship to try and forget about their ex.
Does this tactic work?
Experts say you’ll fail miserably if you try.
Guys just don’t want to face the pain of the failure they are experiencing missing their ex, so they find someone new in hopes of getting to their happy place again where they feel loved and connected.
If your ex is in a rebound hookup for this reason, they are on track to muck-up miserably. This shows his intentions aren’t sincere and that he still cares deeply for you. So much so that he didn’t give himself the chance to heal and had to fill the void promptly.
Beware…he will probably try and show you he’s really happy, but you’ll know that’s just a coverup for how he really feels. If you mattered at all to each other, there’s no way he can be ready for a quick new girl without giving himself the time to go through the healing phases of a breakup.
Signal Two: Your Ex Decided to Date Someone Who Is the Total Opposite of You
There’s a really good chance your ex girl is in a rebound relationship if she decided to give her attention to a guy who is nothing like you.
For instance: Some men get dumped because they are too sweet, insecure, and sensitive and he allows his girl to run him over without a word. Women get bored quickly with a guy who lacks the strength to stand up for himself and pick a fight once in a while.
Having your own personality and beliefs is very important in a healthy, balanced and loving relationship.
On the flip side, when a man is too into himself, selfish, thoughtless and doesn’t really care what she thinks or feels, a woman will hopefully find the courage to kick him to the curb.
These are two extreme examples. Most men have a nice mix between the two.
So, what usually happens with regards to the rebound, is the girl normally seeks to find a man who is the total opposite of her ex.
If the ex boy-toy was incredibly insecure, couldn’t make a decision if his life depended on it and was lazy and boring, she’ll likely find a gentleman who is loving, caring, adventurous and giving.
Here’s what you need to consider. If she was dating a guy that was too “soft” in the big picture, there’s pretty much zero chance she’s going to last with a guy who is controlling, hard, overbearing and too much into himself.
Do you see what I’m saying?
Bottom line: If your ex is with a man who is the opposite of you, she’s either going to get bored or tired of him soon enough.
Signal Three: Suddenly You Can Give Her What She Wants
Let’s say your girlfriend dumped you because you lacked self-esteem and she wasn’t interested in that. Meaning, you didn’t give her the attraction she wants from her man.
Most women want to be with a man who is confident and secure in himself. They want a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go after it. Someone who will lead the way and show her he’s going to take care of her, regardless of her actions.
Understand it’s not as easy as just telling her you have flipped and are now the confident man of her dreams.
It’s just that you have figured out how to act like that when you’re around her.
Which leads to my next point. According to studies, many men wonder if they should keep in contact with their ex or cut all ties forever. Of course, that’s up to each guy individually.
If you believe you want to get your ex back, then you’ll need to keep in contact with her. You need to show her you really want a shot at giving her the experience she wants from a man.
Texting will work to a degree but that gets cloudy fast and really isn’t personal. You’re better to pick up the phone and give her a call or better yet, meet her face to face when you can.
If your ex is willing to connect with you on any level, that means the door is still open. She will be attracted to you if you make her feel excited and alive with your newfound confidence. This will draw her to you more.
Many men might wonder how they are going to reach out and get with their ex because she seems to be happy with her new guy. For sure, the guy can’t worry about the other gent. He’s got to focus on his ex and tell himself she wants to be with him and not the other man in the long run.
This is a process and it’s got a lot of risks. So, it’s up the guy to put the idea out there of getting back together and proving to his ex that it’s worth a shot. Don’t make the mistake of pushing yourself on her. Dangle the carrot and let her decide the rest with a little positive persuasion from you.
On the other side…
If the guy isn’t sure he wants her back and it’s not really bothering him that she’s knee deep in a rebound relationship, the man should hang tight and stop all communication until the rebound breakup takes center stage.
This strategy all depends on whether you want your ex back regardless of the fact she is in a new relationship that is likely to fail.
Signal Four: Zero Percent Success Rate
Another strong signal your ex’s relationship is doomed is that she has yet to have a successful healthy relationship with a man. Think about it for a minute. If this is the case, you don’t have any evidence this rebound relationship isn’t going to end like all of her other ones.
If you want her back and can find happiness in what you used to have, then there’s hope you might be able to give it another shot.
In the meantime, she may be showcasing in your face she’s over the moon with her new man; however, that’s not likely to last.
Feelings chance, especially for your ex lady.
Signal Five: If He Is Making Common Attraction and Relationship Blunders
A common cause of relationship rebound failures is when he continues to make classic relationship and attractions screw-ups.
For instance, when he is extreme in the control department. Either he gives no power at all or too much.
Perhaps he might be too into himself or extremely over-sensitive.
Maybe he loves to wine and dine her or he doesn’t even think about taking her out at all.
Truth be told, many men have issues keeping the fire burning after they’ve started dating a woman.
In conclusion, if he happens to continuously make these common relationship blunders, it’s highly likely this rebound will fizzle out too.
Signal Six: Suddenly, He’s Insecure
If you decide to maintain contact with your ex-girlfriend and show her how confident and secure you are, this could be the trigger to help her change her feelings about you.
This could push her to talk more about you to her rebound guy. If she is starting to see a different side of you, it will put confusion and doubt in her rebound relationship.
So, if the rebound guy starts getting insecure because of you and begins trying to take control of her, tell her to stop communicating with you, and naturally, you will start to become her new favorite.
She’s going to start to see the things she wants in you, the ex, and not like what she’s experiencing with her new rebound boy.
Experts say girls are drawn to a man who is emotionally sound and not men who are weak; that’s a turnoff.
Be careful because this isn’t the man who is full of himself and comes across as arrogant. Women want a man who is confident and secure, relaxed and has a belief in who he is and what he wants to accomplish in life.
Again, if you want to get your ex out of her rebound relationship, you’ve got to make yourself attractive by showing her how balanced and confident you are.
A strong belief in yourself will ultimately be very attractive to her.
Signal Seven: Full-Speed-Ahead Relationship
The faster a rebound relationship goes, the more likely it’s just not going to work.
Normally, these relationships don’t work simply because the girl is instantly excited about the fact this new man is giving her everything she didn’t have with her last guy. It won’t take long for her to figure out nobody’s perfect and the flaws her rebound has are going to make her think twice about what she wants.
For instance, he might be too full of himself or too nice. Or maybe he insists she changes too much of herself for him.
Technology seems to make the world go round these days, and many girls want to make people think, especially family and friends, they are crazy happy in their new relationship. She will want to show the world she is in a serious relationship with one guy.
Relationships that are built off a strong foundation that have the power to stand the test of time aren’t built in a few days or weeks. It takes time to build a solid relationship that’s serious and going to last. That’s just how it works.
So, if she jumps in full speed ahead with her rebound and rushes the steps to create a solid healthy relationship, it’s highly likely it will fail.
Signal Eight: True Love Isn’t in Her Forecast
Often, women will dive into a rebound relationship instantly after a breakup, but they aren’t emotionally ready for true love and for another relationship.
Regardless, he’s going to be hurt from her recent breakup, especially when she thinks about the hurt and pain she’s caused. It takes two to tango!
Maybe she didn’t try hard enough or perhaps she was too selfish in the big picture. There are loads of ways a girl can turn a man off stone cold.
No woman is perfect in her relationship qualities, and that’s a huge factor in couples breaking up.
Fact: Keep in mind the rebound man isn’t always to blame. Often, it’s the girl who needs to take the heat.
Many women will carry this emotional let-down baggage from their previous relationship into their rebound move and wreck it all on their own.
Signal Nine: It’s All about Revenge
This is the worst way to try and get back at your ex, by jumping headfirst into a rebound relationship.
Often, this is the case when a woman feels she’s been treated unfairly or poorly. Maybe her ex didn’t give her the time of day or didn’t bother trying to fulfill her needs, pushing her into the rebound mode.
What she wants to do is make her ex feel guilty and sad, perhaps even jealous. This means she’s not truly interested in her new man.
Sure, there is a possibility she’ll fall head over heels in love with him but that’s like picking a needle out of a haystack.
What you should do is not let any of this bother you. Try and find it funny and it won’t take her long to realize she gone into her rebound relationship for all the wrong reasons.
Signal Ten: She’s Still Connected with Her Ex
Keep in mind this isn’t the case with every man when his ex has gotten into a rebound relationship. The numbers don’t lie. Up to a whopping 70 percent of men report their ex is still in touch with them.
This means if your ex is still happy to call you, text you, email or phone you, there’s a strong possibility she’s still into you.
Beware, this might also be indicating she’s stringing you along just to make herself feel better. Follow your gut with this one to figure out whether this is a good or bad thing for you.
Let’s say you want her back and she’s not into you; what should you do?
First, you need to start communicating with her to generate that attraction again. Show her you know what sort of attraction she needs and wants. Make sure you give her the things that were missing before, and show her you are a stronger man because of this change.
This is going to increase the speed in which her rebound relationship fails.
Tactics to Avoid a Rebound Relationship
True love is certainly blind!
When we are in a loving relationship, we try and make the best decisions we can. However, more often than not, we let our heart think instead of our head, and that’s rarely a good thing.
Above all else, we want to make certain we stay far, far away from those pesky rebound relationships. Simply because they suck!
The only way a rebound is a positive thing is if both of you are rebounding together.
Here are a few surefire ways to avoid getting into a new relationship too far too fast.
Pointer One: All Ears on Alert
This is where you need to listen to what your date is talking about. Does it feel like they are always talking about their ex? Are they making you feel like you are in therapy with them? If this is the situation, you need to immediately draw the line.
When this happens, your date is indicating they need a friend, not a love interest. Pay attention to this red flag and you’re going to save yourself a lot of heartache.
Pointer Two: Dating History Is Important
There aren’t many people who want to talk about their dating life. However, it’s critical you ask the right questions around past dating in order to determine if you are heading for a rebound relationship or not.
Here are a few questions to ask:
*What broke the two of you up?
*How long have you been single?
*Are you okay with things or are you still hurt?
These might be a little in-your-face but for your own good, you need to know the answers. If your date isn’t willing to answer them, it is best you walk away, it’s that important.
Pointer Three: Never Leave the Door Open
If you happen to hook up with someone who pops in and out of your life randomly, for whatever reason, you need to stay away. You should have the confidence in your worth to keep the door shut until you get a knock and a solid offer. When you deliver this message, you are putting the ball into their court for all the right reasons.
Pointer Four: Carried Anger
This is a tough one to spot sometimes, so be very aware. If you are dating someone who has been single for a long time and they are still upset about their ex, you need to consider you might be a rebound.
Normally, this type of pissed-off attitude has deeply hidden anger. When someone still has strong negative feelings for their ex, that’s a danger sign, and you need to quietly excuse yourself and walk away.
Pointer Five: References Are Vital
No relationship, new or old, moves forward without a few bumps in the road. That’s natural. But if you happen to have a disagreement with this guy or girl and they always bring up the opinion of their ex, you better do a double take.
“Oh, she always did it this way.”
“Funny, that’s not what he told me.”
You get the idea.
This type of past talk indicates your date might not be truly over their ex.
Pointer Six: Shut Your Phone off at Night
If your date is texting or calling you in the middle of the night, particularly if their ex is fresh, he’s likely looking for something else than just a talk. If he’s still trying to get over his ex, he probably wants to get you into bed, and that’s the wrong thing to do.
Let your voicemail answer it, and he’ll get the hint. Give him a call in the morning, but leave the phone out of it when you should be sleeping. This is a good rule to stick by.
Pointer Seven: Easy on the Ex
It’s very important you don’t start trashing his ex because that won’t be helpful. This just makes the conversation about his ex instead of focusing more on you. If you are serious about steering clear of being the rebound girl, you need to do your best to keep him away from ex talk.
On top of that, if you are trash-talking the ex, you are showing just how classless you are, particularly if you never knew her. Hold yourself back here and just don’t trash the ex!
It’s not always easy to see the signs your ex is in a rebound relationship. Heck, relationships of any kind aren’t easy. What’s important is you understand the process of a breakup and how to ease yourself into the perfect relationship for you when you are ready.
Use these pointers and signals to make the best decision for you.