Breaking up with someone that you care about is a really tough thing to do. Your entire world can completely change in a matter of moments and you might find yourself not knowing exactly how to move on from your ex.
If you have not really talked to him since the breakup or if things ended messily, then you might be wondering if he still has some feelings for you. Is there any chance of the two of you resolving your issues and getting back together?
The most obvious way to find out the answer to your questions is by having a talk with him about how he feels and if he still feels anything for you at all.
In order to move on from a breakup, one of the best things that you can have is closure. Without getting any closure, it can be very hard for you to move on with your life.
You might not be ready to see the signs that your ex could be over you, or maybe you just do not know how to read them. Below are signs that your ex is over you.
Use the signs below to find out if there are indeed signs your ex has moved on. You will either find that some of these signs apply, or you will come to the conclusion that he is not over you yet.
Either way, it is good to take a look at your situation so you can try to make sense of whether or not there is still anything between your ex and yourself.
Signs Your Ex Is Over You
There is someone else
Many times, when an ex cannot get over you, they will avoid entering the dating pool for a while because nobody compares to you in their head. This happens when they are not ready to let go of you.
Maybe they will go on first dates and their friends will try to set up your ex with someone so they can get over you. But if you are still on his mind, then he might not take any of those possibilities further because he is still thinking about you.
On the other hand, if your ex really is seeing someone else, then he is probably over you or at the very least, he wants to give off that impression.
The act of seeing someone new can be anything from going on dates and having casual flings to settling into a serious relationship with something new. Maybe he even joined a dating app or website.
Any of those actions point to him trying to move on. If he is putting himself out there and he has been back on the market since the two of you broke up, then he is clearly ready to move on from the relationship that the two of you had.
He is not nice to you
If he still has feelings for you, then your ex might still treat you differently than he would treat any other girl. He might go out of his way to be nice to you and he might still even flirt with you intentionally or unintentionally.
But if your ex does not try to be nice to you outside of what would be considered normal behavior, then it is highly likely he is over you. He probably now sees you as just another person, and not as the special person that used to be so close to him on an intimate level.
If your ex is over you then at best he will be civil towards you. In the worst case scenario, he will be kind of mean to you and he will not have the same patience for you that he did during your relationship.
Being around you might even irritate him. Now that you are no longer together, the rose-colored glasses have come off and you just no longer hold the same importance to your ex that you used to have. This, of course, would mean that your ex is over you.
He might not even be acting this way on purpose. Love can do crazy thing to us. It can even make us overlook every little thing that would normally bother us about a person.
Since you and your ex are not an item anymore, all of those qualities of yours probably stick out to him now, and they might even annoy him. If you were hoping that he might still have feelings for you, those chances are probably long gone.
He asked you to return his things
Sometimes if an ex is not completely over you, they will choose to not come back for all their things so that they have an excuse to get them from you at another time as opposed to collecting all of their belongings from you right after the breakup.
Doing so will give your ex an excuse and a chance to have to see you again. But if everything is in order and he already took all of his things back, or if he does not want his things back, then he is over you.
Basically, if he wants to forget about you or if he is over you, he will not leave your business unfinished. So if everything has been returned to their rightful owners and he has moved out of the place you shared, you can be sure that he has moved on.
He returned your things
People can easily get very sentimental especially about possessions when it comes to their romantic partners. This is why some of us end up holding onto things from our exes.
Even if the relationship is long over, sometimes people will hold onto a gift or a possession of their exes to just serve as a reminder of the relationship. For some people, these belongings or possessions that they have chosen to keep might even be like a souvenir or trophy to them.
If your ex gave all of your things back to you right away, then that is his way of showing you that he is serious about moving on. This is especially applicable if he gave back the things you gifted him as well.
Doing so essentially means he no longer wants anything to do with you and that he is trying to start over with a clean slate. In other words, he is over you.
He does not care if you are dating someone
Strangely enough, we can get incredibly jealous of the people our exes date. It can be because you miss your ex or because the person they are now seeing makes you feel insecure about yourself.
One might even find themselves feeling territorial in this type of situation. If you are dating someone and your ex knows about it and does not seem to care, then he is over you.
Your ex might be completely indifferent to this new development in your life or he might even be happy for you that you have been able to move on from your previous relationship.
Either way, if you are seeing someone new and he does not seem bothered by it, it can mean that the two of you are working to keep your relationship in the past.
He seems happy with his life
Does your ex appear to be genuinely happy with his life? If this is the case, then it can mean that nothing is missing from his life, including you.
If he was missing you and what you used to have together, then he might express some dissatisfaction or regret that would hint at him not fully enjoying his life right now. You would see this on social media or he might even communicate to you or someone that you know that he is not happy.
But if you are seeing or hearing that he is truly happy with his life, try to be happy for him. He might be over you, but look at it as a chance for you to find your own happiness somewhere else. You do not need him in order to have a happy life.
He is not trying to convince you that he is happy
A sign that your ex actually is happy with his life is that he does not feel the need to go out of his way to tell you that he is happy.
Someone who is not really happy would go out of their way to try to convince people otherwise. They might even excessively brag about how great things are in their life.
If your ex really is happy with his life, then he will not feel the need to prove that to you or anyone else. If he seems happy and is not going out of his way to show that to people, then he is over you.
He did not choose you
If there was someone else and he ultimately chose that other person over you, then you have a definite sign that you were not his first pick.
There may have been more than one time where he had a chance to choose you and he never did. That action says a lot about how he feels.
Maybe you were hoping he would come to his senses and come back running to you. But if he did not pick you, then it almost definitely means that he is over you. Otherwise, he would not have risked losing you forever by not choosing you.
He unfriended and unfollowed you on social media
As a couple, you were probably all over each other’s social media accounts. While some exes will remain connected on social media, others will completely disconnect from each other.
If he has unfriended and unfollowed your social media accounts, then that means he does not want you in his life because he is trying to move on.
For many exes, staying connected on social media is unhealthy and can leave the door open to communication. This could be why he no longer follows your accounts.
Try to not take it personally. Many exes unfollow one another on social media so that they can move on from each other.
He does not flaunt his happiness
If your ex was not yet over you, then he might be trying to make you jealous by showing off his new girlfriend all over social media. He would be bragging about his new lady.
But if he is happy and is over you, then he has no reason to try and make you feel jealous. If your ex is just living his life and not flaunting his new life without you, then he is probably over you.
He has stopped contacting you
You were once used to him reaching out to you all the time when you were in a relationship, but you are no longer together anymore. The next thing you know, you never hear from him anymore.
While it is completely normal for people to stop talking once the relationship ends, some people still stay in touch because they choose to stay friends or sometimes because they are not yet over each other.
If your ex has ceased to contact you, then he is over you. If you have not already deleted his number, then do it. The only reason to have his number is if you have children together. You deserve to move on as well.
He told you his feelings are gone
If your ex told you that his feelings for you are gone, then you should choose to believe him. Why would he lie to you about such a thing?
Try to accept that it is for the best and do your best to find happiness somewhere else as you go forward with your life. You cannot control how he feels about you and there is nothing you can do about that.
What you can do is appreciate the past you had together for what it was, and cherish the good memories. But let that stay in the past. The longer you go without your ex, the closer you will be towards ridding yourself of your romantic feelings for him.
He moved
Moving on does not always have to be symbolic, sometimes it can literally happen. If your ex has moved away from you, then he is most likely moving on with his life.
While it is not always necessarily true, when someone stays and lives close to you, then they might not be ready to move on. Or you might at least get that impression because that person is still around.
If your ex moves away, then chances are that you will probably never see him again. There would be no more running into each other at the grocery store or realizing that a mutual friend invited you to the same party.
Him moving away can be a healthy way to give both of you the closure that you need, and it indicates that he is ready to begin a new chapter by himself and not with you.
He does not flirt when you talk
Even if you are no longer together with him, you might still be put into situations where you have to see him and talk to him. This can occur if you work at the same place or if you have mutual friends.
When you do talk, you are going to be friendly with each other unless things ended badly. So how do you know if he is flirting or not?
Since you have been with him, you probably know how he flirts. But there are some very obvious signs of flirting as well.
Is he complimenting your looks or finding excuses to be around you? Does he find excuses to touch you as you talk, such as putting his arm around you or resting his hand on your shoulder?
These actions could all mean that he is flirting with you. But if he keeps things very professional when he talks to you, then he is over you.
His new lady is nothing like you
Sometimes, when we are not over our exes, we consciously or subconsciously find someone new who reminds us of that person that we are no longer with.
This can mean that the new person physically looks like the ex and has the same hair color, eye color, or overall physical appearance.
Or it can mean that this person has the same profession or interests as the ex. Ask yourself this: is his new lady just another version of me?
If the answer is yes it can mean that he is not over you, or it can mean that he just has a very specific type that he is attracted to.
However, if this woman is nothing like you, then that is a clear sign that your ex is over you. After all, he has chosen someone completely different from you.
When you run into each other, he does not bring up the past
If you run in the same circles or go to the same school or work at the same office, then you are bound to run into your ex from time to time. You might even talk to each other when this happens.
Whatever you talk about with your ex, it should never be about the past if either of you is trying to move on. And if he never brings up the past with you, then that is another sign that he is probably over you.
He does not rush to respond to you when you reach out to him
When you and your ex were both together, then you were at the top of his priorities. He probably used to respond to your text messages and phone calls as soon as he possibly could because you were important to him.
Now that you are broken up, does your ex rush to respond to your messages and calls with the same urgency that he had before? If not, then it means that you are not a priority to him anymore.
It is perfectly normal to not respond to your ex when they reach out to you, or to not be in a rush to respond if you choose to do it. You are not a big part of each other’s lives anymore.
If your ex is not responding to you when you reach out to him, then take the hint that he is over you and the relationship that you once had. Use that as yet another reason to move on.
He has told you to move on
There is no clearer sign that your ex is over you than this one. And that sign is that he has told you to move on.
If your ex has told you to move on, then you have probably dropped hints that you are not over him. At this point, he is desperate to move on with his life without you being there to pine after him.
You might have your reasons for wanting to hold on to hope that you will get back together, but if he wants you to move on, then he does not share your feelings.
The best thing that you can do in this situation is to accept that your ex is over you. In this case, your time is wasted hoping he will change his mind.
Do the best that you can to put your energy to better use and put your history with him where it belongs, in the past.
Conclusion
To sum things up, there a number of signs that will tell you if your ex is over you. Use your judgment to figure out if he might still have feelings for you or if he has completely moved on.
And remember that if you can, you should just ask him so you can get an honest answer. The biggest sign that your ex is over you is if he tells you that he is.
Anoymouz says
Hi kate. I was in a relationship with my childhood friend for 3 years and a year ago we broke because I was suffering through depression and i was treating her very badly. I was all finr after few months of it and i am very nice guy since then. We do talk often and she really admires how i have changed. She had 2 boyfriends during that time and both time she realised she never loved them. She said me that we can be together again after she breaks up with her second boyfriend. She was very sad that she never loved any of the boyfriends she had after me. Can you tell me what i should do? Should I accept her instantly or i should make her value me? How do i make her value me in the relationship like she thinks she can never lose me in a relationship and stuff. I dont know what i can do to make her value me that she can lose me anytime. What should i do please help. It will be greatly appreciated.
Kate says
You are lucky that she even wants to be with you after you treated her badly. Be nice to her, treat her well, don’t play any games and she will value you.
Broken heart says
What about getting my cancerian female back to me? I was suffering from depression too.niw she’s gone ! Can you tell me how can I get her come back to me?
hilary says
I personally think sit down with her and talk it over, she will never know if you don’t tell her and if you show it through your actions it be sending a mixed up message
abigail says
hi i don’t know how or comment my own but i’m in a situation where someone has dumped me and we both loved each other a lot and the previous day he was like usual then that day it all changed and he dumped me and me and my friend were our and he was just out with us and he claimed he didn’t have feelings for me anymore and was accusing me of liking his mate and kept asking who i like but i don’t get it because if he didn’t like me anymore he surely wouldn’t care if i liked his mate which i don’t. he also messaged me a lot and says we are rlly good friends when i don’t know if i can even be his friend if i still love him . oh my days idk what’s to do
Sara says
Hi Kate,
I am currently going through a divorce and found someone who I have been drawn to for many years. We had a relationship for over a year and now he wants to take a break. He expressed feeling guilty about us, even though I clearly explained my divorce has nothing to do with him. I am giving him space, but I find that I miss him and wish to know where this is going. The hardest part is we work in the same company and there are times I have to see him. The last time I saw him, we spoke in a friendly manner and even have gone golfing together. What does this mean? I’m not sure what to do, do I wait and see where it takes us?
Kate says
Check out this article, you can find some answers there. https://www.luvze.com/what-to-do-when-he-says-he-needs-space/
masego says
hi kate
my boyfriend and I separated .it’s been 4weeks now but he didn’t reply to my breakup text. I even deleted him but he still has my contact. what does it mean?
Kate says
It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. If he hasn’t replied to you, then he has most likely moved on.
AXM says
Hi, so my ex asked me for a break about a month ago after about 6 months of dating and we were did not contact each other for two weeks before we started talking again. The first time we met up after that she was all over me and super affectionate. But soon after she tells me that she cant handle a serious relationship right now and wants us to be friends. Shes also recently started seeing someone else. We dont text all that much anymore and have certainly stopped showing any physical affection. I’m just confused as to what to do here. I still want to be with her but should I just move on? Is there still a chance?
Kate says
I would move on if she’s seeing someone else already.
Alex C says
So I just recently got out of relationship where I had to break it off because she went through a depression and started treating me horribly. Even told her I still loved her but I couldnt be with someone that doesn’t see that as an issue. I havent contacted her and havent boasted about being happy because i did love her but she seems keen on taking jabs at me on social media and even got her friends toying with me when she goes out. Just want to know what could possibly be going through her mind and should I just cut all ties at this point.
Kate says
If she didn’t treat you good before and she’s not nice to you now, then you should probably cut all ties and just move on.
JJ says
Hi Kate – My ex bf asked me to move in last October and then broke up with me in December, we were working on getting back together in January, February and March. Well I just happened to go to his house unannounced and he had a lady there with her kids. I was in complete shock and disbelief. He will not give me any of my furniture, dishes, decorations even my Christmas decorations back. He won’t tell me that they are still together, however I know they are because I drove by and saw them. All of the dreams we talked about he’s now doing them with her. I’m so hurt by him but miss him and love him too. He won’t tell me he doesn’t miss or love me … he just goes silent. What kind of man does these things?
Kate says
I’m sorry he hurt you. Seems like he has lost feelings for you and has moved on.
vanessa nismus says
hello kate,after i and my boyffriebd broke up 3month ago i went into no contact ,but aafter ending the no contact 2days ago i msg him then he reply today saying he has move on with his life and hes in a better place and he see i have move on too so i should stop texting him
NotSoSure says
Hello, so I recently broke up with an ex of mine. I had gotten out of his house due to the break up, however before I left I had begged him and asked if he was really okay with me leaving which he said he was okay with. Our break up just started being more problematic for two weeks straight. He told me to move on, to forget about him, and that we wouldn’t ever get back together. However, about a day later I went out with a friend of mine on a friendly date, and well I ended up kissing him…. My ex found out through someone else and blocked me from everything. So, things started to get worst. I am not sure if I should move on, because I still have hope that things will calm down and we will get to talk, however I found out recently he’s talking to someone else. What do I do? He still has pictures of us on facebook, but has not tried to get into contact with me at all and I haven’t either.
Kate says
If he told you to move on then perhaps you should.
Need advice says
I liked your article b/c it didn’t sugar coat things and give false hope. My bf broke up with me 6 months ago. At first, when we first started dating, he was dropping alot of hints about feeling like I was the one. Then he went to basic training for 5 months, and we couldn’t communicate that much, but he still wrote lots of sweet letters. We were together for a year and 8 months, but 5 months of those I only saw him a couple of times. After a while I noticed that he wasn’t talking about the future as much any more. Then suddenly he broke up with me over the phone. I was shocked. I was kind of thinking about breaking up with him due to lack of work ethic and still living with his parents at 27, but I was not ready when he pulled the plug on our relationship. The only think he really told me was “I’m not happy” I tried many times to ask what that really meant. He did eventually tell me that he was not going to ask me to marry him, so he didn’t want to waste both of our time. I completely agree with that but I was really hurt b/c I didn’t see it coming. He was upset and was crying on the phone, so that gave me some hope that I wasn’t completely worthless to him. We have not talked at all since the break up 6 months ago. The problem is that we share friends. And they’re not just aquaintances, they’re our best friends. I know we will eventually run in to eachother. What I keep telling my self is that he is completely over me and I should not have any hopes there. I’m ok with that, but it still hurts alot. And I can’t help being sad when I see him. Even a picture. I miss him tremendously, and we always had a good time together. But I don’t know if I could ever not have feelings for him. The tricky thing is talking to him for the first time and and being around him with our friends. I’m really still hurting, as I feel I can never trust anyone in the future who may talk to me about possibly having a life together. No matter how confident I seem to be, or unaffected I pretend to be, I am hurting alot. That was definitely a huge blow to my self esteem. Any advice?
Kate says
Seems like you were not happy with him either, you were thinking of breaking up with him because of his lack of work ethic and still living with his parents.
It takes time to heal so make yourself busy so you wouldn’t think about him all the time.
anonymous says
he said we are not right for eachother. but he didnt block me completely on social networking. while he blocked few and he left few. he said he miss me to his friends but at the same time his said he is mentally fixed to not to talk to me. he still has my friends and parents numbers got saved in his phone. i said out few words in anger but immediately tried to convince him that i didnt mean them. these silly fights happened many times. but i think it is serious now. will he come back?
Jenn says
My bf broke up with me after 3 years..said he wasn’t happy anymore. It’s been 3 weeks since the break up..he still has our picture as his face book and instagram profile, has not changed his relationship status, hasn’t asked for any of his stuff back, and we were tracking each other on an app…he has not turned it off. Does any of this mean there’s still hope?!
Bernie says
I read this list and I hope people take it with a grain of salt as it is not all true and there are exceptions. There is no black and white answers when it comes to the heart and the ending of a relationship.
Just because a guy doesn’t contact his ex-girlfriend anymore does not mean he is over her and vice versa. The advice in this article could be damaging.
Nick says
You are awesome
JD says
Yes, I believe nothing is ever set in stone. I also do not believe in “your ex is an ex for a reason”. People go through shit, things happen and people break it off because they can’t handle it. However, please know if it is meant to be it will be.
I know the feeling of a heartbreak. It’s been 6 months since during my break up. I tried to make peace with it and remove my bitterness towards him through learning about the valuable lessons the break up has taught me in order to be a better person. He hurt me a lot but I do not wish ill on him but I do wish he can learn from his behaviour and understand relationships fail due to two people. Although I still have so much anxiety and sadness, I tried to push through it and truly grow as a person. Just remember he/she broke up with the old you, you are no longer obligated to be that person. Although it is DIFFICULT.. as regret, self blame and sadness take over still put in effort to TRY TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOU. When I feel the urge to talk to my ex- I journal every time. This allows me to take my thoughts out, reflect, refresh and get back to bettering myself.
Please know nothing is set in stone. If it is meant to be they will come back and in a better version of themselves. Think of the relationship being so much better than before from all the lessons you have learned and the person you became. I truly believe in this, so for now please be patient with yourself and give up resistance. Let the universe to take control and do whats right for you!!
Michele says
Hi Kate, I recently broke up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago. We have been dating on and off for three and a half years- one and a half years in person and two years long distance. There were definitely problems in person but long distance definitely made everything worse- and though he visited every two weeks I would always start feeling disconnected from the relationship and believe I lost my feelings. This would always cause me to break up with him prematurely- only to have my feelings resurface. I have been with other people in between- but nothing has ever compared to this relationship. I genuinely think he is and will always be the love of my life. We’ve both made many mistakes- and I broke up with him the last time. Every breakup which I usually initiate because I’m hurt or just feeling detached- have usually been very hard on both of us- but especially him. He now is adamant on being friends and says he still “loves me” but is not “in love with me”. Though he constantly checks out my social media, we even have a snap streak, and he gets jealous and hurt if I seem to be moving on. I’m getting so many mixed signals from him and when I bring it up he denies it, and just tells me to be patient and not make rash decisions. He’s always kind of mentioned that to resolve our relationship baggage, we might need to be friends first and then build to a relationship. I can’t tell if that is what he is trying to do. Would be happy with any advice. Thanks!
Josh says
Don’t be fooled any woman can trick you
Kate says
Hi kate,
Ive beeb in a relationship with the father or of my daughter for 3 yrs. When we moved to another country to work he changed and he broke up with me. He never admit that he found another person for him to decide to leave me. He hasnt been in a relationship after we broke up but he become to wild and to much people and women got involved with him. It hurts coz i found out he was lying to me before he decide to let me go.
And also he is talking behind my back. I was thinking and asking myself what did i do wrong or to him to treat me like this.
Unfortunetly coz of financial reason we still live together.
What would be the best advice you could give.
Im struggling emotionally for past 6 months after we broke up. He even told me he is not inlove with me but he cares. And the last time he wenf home drunk he kissed me and telling me i love u. Its quite confusing for me. Pls help.
Mike says
Me and my girl broke up on some bad terms we still talk a little bit we dont hang out because shes still mad on what happen it’s been about a week since the break up we broke up one other time I was lucky to win her back and we were closer than ever she dont even what to talk about getting back together she said that she cant forgive me for lieing to her that she cant trust me I was wondering if theres still hope we had 2yrs I haven’t lied to her she knows it to but I mad that mistake now she things I lie all the time now
cara says
my ex bf and i were together for a month. he’s 5 years my junior but seemed to act more maturely than i am. he’s only 21 then when me, 26. but according to our common friend,(who also happened to be his bestfriend) that 2 yrs before we’ve acquainted, his buddy already eyed me without my knowledge. he tried to get my phone number but i strongly refused.
when he finally had the chance to make a move on me, we’re really not that close. we’re not friends but i’m sure i suddenly felt something so within 3 weeks of courtship, i said yes. having a boyfriend really felt so new to me and the fact that he’s also very young added to my unpleasant feeling. within a month of being bf and gf i never initiate contact with him. i just wait for his calls. but i know deep inside, i really wanted to hear from him as much as possible. days after were official, there was a time when he failed to call me and i went furious without his knowledge. i told him we should call it off without any further reason. he tried to resist and he succeeded. the second time when that same issue happened, i called it quit through text messages. on the next morning he called me trying to look for reasons what had happened. but that was it.
my ex bf isn’t loud. he’s laid back and hardworking and many people like him especially our friends who are much older than us because they saw him as an ideal person.
in the next month after we broke up, we still continue to see each other maybe more frequent than we we’re still together. he even said that were really not splitting though. we just had a cool off. there was a time when i told him what if we try to get back together again because we’re still continue seeing because he kept on visiting in my workplace(the only place where we met. we’re really not that intimate because i set limitations and he respected it). he refused. in the next days that followed i decided to try to stay away from him slowly. not long after that, he stopped visiting me. although he still manage to ask my phone number from our friend when he acquired a new phone. maybe almost 3months after we broke up, he already had a new gf(a teen) although he didn’t post anything about them on fb. i just found it out when the girl shared her post to him. it was her 1st month anniv. letter to him as his gf. the girl would also tagged him sometime. but from what i have knew, i wasn’t hurt. my gut sends me no pain.
my ex would also try to ring me once in a month although none of those calls would i even try to answer. he would also like my fb posts and sometimes made a comment on them.
in the final 2 months of that year, he never contacted me anymore. i admit, i wondered. months of no contact i felt like i’ve already lost my feelings for him. but during the opening month of the year that followed, he called me. he cut his first call because i became furious(my infamous behaviour esp. if i’m thinking i am being pranked by whosoever). but on the next day, 5 am he called me again. we spoke. he’s very talkative which left me just listening to him and talk few in the entire conversation. he asked about what i’ve been doing lately, did i ever came home(in our province)and how was my relationship status. he also told me that he had just came from a month vacation in our province(yeah we have the same province but we met in the city) and that he also had refrained the bad things from doing them again like drinking liqours. he also asked an apology from me and figured out he’s not really a good bf of me. and he called because he missed me. i just listened to him but also slightly wondering. maybe that was a 15 minute call because i have to end it for a job related reason. he tried to call me again in the next day but i failed to answer it and on the following month i texted him to delete my number on his phone already. from then on, he never tried to contact me anymore.
many months after that, he made a compliment on my fb profile photo as i changed it. our friends noticed hes comment and one of them directly told him “he just missed me” to which he answered “yeah so much”. our friend suggested he should pay me a visit in my workplace then.
i have long moved on from our short stint of bf/gf status so i never entertained their conversation on my fb comment section. besides, it’s been almost 2 years since we broke up.
our relationship lasted only a month but for being a good guy, he’s not that easy to forget. i admit i have to be numb and resist the urge to answer his calls or call him back after every failed call he has made just to forget the feelings i have for him. and he’s also so young.
i have no romantic feelings for him anymore, but i know that the friendship is still there between us, how should i treat him appropriately despite the feeling that he’s flirting on me? or is he really flirting on me?
Kate says
Make sure he knows that you guys are only friends and then take him as a friend.
cara says
hello kate my ex tried to reach me out again days after i wrote here through our common friend on fb mssgnr(i wasn’t even read your reply yet). he wanted to talk and ask permission if he could still pay me a visit in my workplace. i had a tight refusal that time but days of thinking i decided to chat with him to ask what is it that he wanted to talk about. as most people do, he greeted me firsthand and there tried to ask if he could come over. i told him of course he could. the security is not too tight in the subd besides, he has friends here. he felt so grateful and started thanking me while saying “despite of everything i’ve done to you before”. when he felt sorry about our failed relationship, it always made me wonder. that only lasted a month and i was the one who called it off and if i could think about us, i could be hold guilty.
but then, before he could say anything in our conversation i tried to calm him down telling him i already forgot what had happened before, besides, we haven’t had so much experiences during our time together because we’re both so busy and time was really that hard to managed. i told him that we’re still friends and friendship is what really that matters most. i felt that he understood and managed to video chat but then again i had to cut it off because i still have other things to do.
until now i’m so confused because we haven’t had any heart to heart talk. but then maybe it’s really true that closure is very important no matter how long or how short that time was when you are together. you should really put closure in it no matter how long ago that thing happened between the two of you.
thanks kate
girly says
Hi Kate,
my ex bf and i were international distance since we met in my country while he was traveling. We were in a relationship for a year plus and i visited him in the USA from Asia twice, one month 1st then 2 mths the second time and met all of his friends. We were happy together but we always argued when we were apart. Eventually he broke up with me saying our distance wasnt sustainable,he wasnt happy anymore, i didnt give him space and we din see eye to eye and we din have any end point and din love me anymore. I was wounded and i cried,pleaded, discussed, seeking closure,yelled and wounded his ego on our last phone call for 7hrs. We din talk for 8 months now, i reached out to him twice 2 mths after our break up without getting any reply and the last time we met was a year ago. Does it mean he wouldnt return and probably never loved me like he claimed before? Im still in pain, sleepless but im trying to learn through my mistakes and improve myself.
KB says
My ex boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago, he reached out to me in Dec 2017 just 2 months after his divorce. We dated for 11 months and told me he loved me and that we were what he wanted and wouldn’t want it any other way. 4 days prior to the break up he was around the kids and I, seemed happy, etc…and then 4 days later he said his gut is telling him to end it. He said he became unhappy as we wanted 2 different things in a relationship (which I’m still trying to figure out as we both lived in separate houses and didn’t talk about living together). He said he still cared for me, found me attractive, and enjoyed every minute with us. Of course I messed up as I begged and pleaded for 2 weeks which resulted in blocking me completely. Lesson Learned on my part, but I’m still confused and really have no closure as this blind sided me as I did not see it coming. He didn’t even communicate with me what was going on in his head. Do you think he will ever come back around? He did tell me to find someone else that I deserve as he doesn’t think he can give me what I want.
Angelina says
hi Kate.
Yes I am very aware that it is not right for me to be here but the comments I have read I don’t know what to think about them. I am in middle school, a 7th grade to be specific. I thought I have had a heart break but I don’t know after this one..There is this boy who was my best friend for a pretty long time, He texted me one day and told me he had feelings for me I said the same thing back. Well we dated for 2 months and then I found out he cheated on me with this girl he was calling his cousin. This girl texted me and asked me so much stuff about him and said that he always talked about me and that made me feel great because the relationship wasn’t so good. (In my point of view). He would Ignore me and things of that nature. She asked for pictures of him because supposedly he was her favorite cousin. I asked him about it he said yeah, So I was like okay sure there’s nothing wrong with that i guess. But not even 5 minutes later another girl texted me and said that they are not cousins but they are a thing and my boyfriend was cheating on me. I asked how she knows this she sent me his “cousins” Snapchat password and user and told me to log and and find out for myself. Well I did because he wouldn’t give me his password I thought to myself “Well what other choice do I have?” Well…He was cheating on me. He was treating her better than he ever treated me. As I read the messages I was crying and wondering what I did but give him what he wants. I took screenshots and sent them to him and asked what it was. He lied and lied. I broke up with him even though I didn’t want to because I loved him. Yes being a 7th grader and saying I love this boy is bazaar but truthfully I believe it. I couldn’t go to school the next day because I knew I would break down and cry if I saw him. I went the day after I didn’t go to school..I have 7 classes with him. 1st peiord did NOT go well at all. The teacher I have for that class is 100% no doubt my favorite because she saw that i was upset and called me out to talk to her, I trust her and we talked and she said she understood. It has been 1-2 months now. Me and him became best friends after I could live with seeing him and things. Then lately he is starting to be really mean and saying hurtful things right after I got a new boyfriend. In my head I still love him because I think about him all the time..I am not sure what to do so is there any way I can fix things…?
Thank you, and sorry your hearing from a middle schooler.
adrita says
my boyfriend was my childhood friend before we started dating.we were known to each other for like 10 years.we were in a relationship for 4 years and we started living together for 1.5 years.
I lied to him about something and he broke up with me.
I knew it was my fault and was ashamed of it.I begged him so many times to give me a second chance because I didnt want to lose him just because I lied about a single thing ( I never lied,cheated or did anything bad before or after that)…
but he didnt listen…I was furious and slapped him out of rage and said he used me.
I regret it very much.
I know he still loves me but he doesnt wanna be with me.
we still live together.sleep in the same bed.he reacts politely with me.
but he tells me to move on and he doesnt wanna be in a relationship with me anymore.
both of our parents are separated so we are very sensitive about spliting up.
still he doesnt want to continue his relationship with me.he says he cant trust me anymore ( I did not cheat or go out with another guy.I just lied about something that i was afraid to tell him)
is there any way he’s gonna want me back?what should i do?how long should i give him space to think?
Marcus says
Hi Kate I been trying to figure out this situation with my ex. We dated for almost 8 years. She told me that we broke up about 6 months ago but she continued to go out with me as if nothing changed. Then one day about a month ago I remarked that she had a new boyfriend it was something I sensed as to why I said that.now things are up in the air.what farther complicated matters my phone has been acting up and I had to wait for the replacement to come in the mail and that took almost 2 weeks now she’s not speaking to me I guess but she was right before I had to replace the phone so I don’t know what to think.she returned a parting gift I gave her but she kept a thank you gift I gave her after the parting gift. I gave her the thank you gift for connecting me with the this great Doctor who saved my life.
Anurupa Bose says
Hiii me and my boyfriend after 8months of relationship had broken off after 8months.Then we were in touch for 2years.But I used to fight with every little little thing.Actually he was little lethargic and not so ambitious and earn less money.This was upsetting me.Now for over a fortnight his family had seen a girl for him and so do he but he compares his girlfriend with me.he says that his girlfriend is not pretty than me and can break this marriage uf he wants.wat does this mean
patunia says
Hi Kate
it’s been a year and couple of months now my baby daddy dumped me well what happened is that I got rumours that hes bringing someone into our apartment and I confronted him and he denied about it while I found a female wrestle watch in our place, then I sweared at him and cursed him said all mean words to him after couple of days he dumped me and I begged and plead him to get back together ever since thought he is the one who started all this but he was in denial and not showing any remorse. He always says he’s not ready to get back with me but claims to love me last month he came to see our child and end up having sex the next he became so cold and i asked him what’s the way forward from here and he said we shall see things next year for now let’s just leave things the way they are so I dont know if I should just move on with my life or keep hoping that things will get back to normal for us but I love him a lot I cant stop thinking about him.
Taylor Alexander says
So this guy and I were dating for 4 months. He met my parents, we did everything together. He didn’t text me back fast because he “doesn’t live on his phone”. I found out that the whole time him and I were together he had another girl he was just snapping dating for 5 months. So of course i blew up and we broke up but hes still with her? Is it bad that he wont talk to me or tell me why he picked her and why he talked to her while he was with me. OH and also he told me he loved me and saw us getting married in the future. DO you think it was all a lie?