If you went through a breakup, then you are probably a little bitter towards finding love again. You may look at women through an ugly lens, and that can halt your success with women and dating. It can also cause any efforts to find love not work out for you because you will not be open to letting love into your life.
How To Find Love After A Breakup
Love is a crucial part of life. It makes you feel good about yourself and the world around you, and it is instinctual for us to go out and look for love. You are no exception. So don’t get mad at yourself for wanting to find love; instead, use the following tips to ensure that you work through your breakup and let love back into your life.
1. Don’t Rush It!
There are so many guys who try to find love before they are ready to! How can you expect to start a relationship with anyone when your vision is clouded by your past relationship? Rushing into another relationship is the worst thing you can do, and the chances of you ending up in a bad relationship that results in breakup is very, very high.
Instead, take time to get over the breakup and realize why it occurred. Allow yourself to resolve your feelings towards your ex (anger, hurt, or any other strong feelings) before you move onto another woman; otherwise, you will be bringing in a huge amount of baggage into the relationship.
You will know you are ready to move on when you have come to the conclusion that the breakup was for a good reason, and you have taken the lessons from your past relationship and learned from them. For example, maybe you were too needy, or maybe you let yourself get walked on…whatever you decide you could have done better in the past relationship is something that you can apply to future relationships, and once you admit what those things are you can move on to a healthier relationship with a woman
2. Don’t Label Love
Once you label love as hurtful, hard, or full of stress, then you will treat love that way. You have to have an open heart that risks getting hurt again if you want to find real love with someone.
This doesn’t mean that you should take any woman into your life and take a chance that you will end up deeply in love. It means, use your head and find a woman who seems to have the qualities you want, and then keep your heart open to the possibility of falling in love with her.
In short, don’t let your ex have control over your future. When you label love according to the way your ex made love appear to you, then you are not being fair to women who are not your ex.
3. Move Forward With Life
Every moment we learn something in life. Your past is full of lessons that you have learned, but you cannot hold onto it or you will never move forward and experience new things.
Therefore, when you find someone new, move forward with them – do not hold on to the past. Focus on the new relationship and leave your past behind you. Life is for the living, and when you hold onto your past you are not living, you are reliving.
- Don’t judge people based on your past
- Don’t make the same mistakes again
- Don’t bring up your ex or past relationships to make a point
- Don’t reminisce about bad times in your past – Your brain doesn’t know the difference between real and memories, and if you reminisce about shitty times in your life, you will start to become anxious, sad, angry, whatever.
These are the most important tips to help you find love after a breakup. Take some time to get over the breakup, open up your heart, and move forward not backwards with your life.
Jane says
Great advice Bellaisa! It is very important that we don’t let our ex inside our heads. Sometimes things can be really terrible (depending upon how bad the breakup was), so letting those memories inside our head will totally damage our life after the breakup.
Also it is very important that we don’t really rush into it.
Thanks for sharing.
Bellaisa says
Thanks Jane.
Yes, I think the number one mistake people make is rushing into a new relationship before they are ready to, which ultimately causes another bad relationship and heartache.
Shady says
Bellaisa, you are a professional blogger.
my bookmarks have more than 2 sites of you.
Nice post and go on!!!
Bellaisa says
Thanks for commenting on the post Shady.
Ngah Benoit says
Bellaisa, I love the move forward in life part. And I totally agree with you. In life, when one door closes, another opens. Just that some people really concerntrate on the closed door which makes them unable to see the open doors. I think in after a breakup, we just have to learn from our mistakes and move forward. That’s the secret to succeed. Thanks so much for sharing such.
saranya says
Bellaisa,I really appreciate you to take this topic and write about such a good info into it….I agree with you ,these are the important tips to follow when someone gets breakup….good post…Thanks for sharing!!!