How many times have you run across this scenario? A girl you’ve put your heart and soul into suddenly decides she doesn’t want to be with you romantically but you can still be friends? Eek!
To start, let’s look at a few proven routes to still be friends with your ex. Although, between you and myself, I believe this as far as I can throw it.
How To Stay Friends With Your Ex
1-Attempting To Remain Friends With Your Ex
If you are trying to hang onto something with your ex, this one is for you. Beware, your journey will be paved with jealousy and sexual tension. On the flip side, you can uncover a mutual respect for each other and perhaps even a bit of envy, in a good light.
Guff.com says just because you don’t want the “forever till death do you part,” doesn’t mean you still can’t be friends. For sure, you don’t need to be enemies.
Pay attention please, we’re going to get started.
2-Stop Addressing Them As Your Ex – Pretty Please!
Labeling is just not right. If you are actually calling your ex your ex, you are making it uncomfortable for everyone. Stop it now, if you still want to have any sort of relationship.
3-Stop Denying The Breakup
You need to stop focusing on whether or not your ex is ever going to be more than an ex to you in the future. Make certain you don’t look at your relationship as a mistake, that’s a big no-no.
What will happen is all those spent-up emotions get in the way of your smart judgment and that’s a recipe for disaster. Be smart here please.
4-Give Them The Space To Move On
As much as it hurts, you need to give your ex the space to move on. And yes, that means backing off and letting them make decisions for them that does not include you.
I’m not saying it’s going to be easy because it won’t. But you need to set aside your feelings of jealousy and doubt and let them do what they need to do.
Set a bird free and if it wants to come home, it will.
What’s hardest to digest is knowing someone you loved no longer wants you, for you.
Your only option is to be their friend and go from there.
5-Be Sad But Do It Without A Voice
It’s natural you are going to be sad your relationship is over but you need to do this with your tail between your legs, do it quietly.
Normally, when you first break up there is going to be anger because emotions and logic just don’t mix. Just please try and keep the hurt to yourself for the sake of your friendship and perhaps a reunion later in life.
If this person mean’t anything to you then it’s important you don’t let it become a negative no matter how much it hurts initially.
6-Never Ever Treat It Like A “Real” Relationship
This is where so many couples make a huge mistake. They look at their new “friend” relationship like they would a romantic one.
Do not do this please!
Truth be told, when you are just friends with someone you can’t get ticked when they don’t text or call you back. And if they decide you hang out with their girlfriends instead of you, that’s okay. You have no right to throw a tantrum.
Fact – You aren’t dating and there are really not a lot of expectations with a “friend” relationship.
7-Open Yourself Up And Understand Their Hurt
Particularly, if it was you that ended the relationship, you’re going to have to put up dealing with how much she is hurt if you are willing to maintain a “friend” relationship.
Yes, it’s VIP you are there for them but when they need their space, you need to give it. Make sure you aren’t hanging out all the time because that’s just not healthy, bad news.
Find your balance and be understanding.
8-Enter With A Smiley Positive Attitude
Attitude is everything and if you think you are going to enter a friend relationship with anything but positive smile, you’re nuttier than you look. Be positive and you’ve got a shot – End of story.
9-Fake Being Happy For Them
If you seriously want to be friends with your ex, you are going to have to pretend to be happy for them. Even if you want to see them fat and sad for the rest of their lives, you need to put the smile on. Support them and make sure they see the positive in you and your new friendship.
Do this just because it’s the right thing to do with the direction you want to take.
Note – If you were totally done with them, you wouldn’t ever agree to being friends.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Here are some clear-cut signs your girl just wants to be friends with you. Time to wake-up!
“We Can Still Be Friends”- Signals Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Just Wants To Be Friends
Truth be told, when you enter the friend zone, there is little opportunity to push past that.
Just because she/he is spending time with you, does not mean they want to be anything more than friends, sorry but true.
You can’t control anyone’s feelings but you can avoid feeling like a certified dork by professing your undying love for him/her when they don’t give a crap. I don’t mean that meanly. You know what I’m saying.
So how do you know they just wants to be friends with you?
One – They talk with you about who they are seeing
This normally isn’t a jealousy ploy. When your ex is talking to you about their romantic interests, they are being sincere. As much as that hurts, you need to learn to take it for what it is.
If your ex is talking to you openly about how much she likes another guy, she is definitely not wanting to be with you more than on a friend level. That’s just the truth straight up.
Two – Your ex really isn’t bothering to look good around you
You might think she just doesn’t have to but if your ex isn’t putting any effort into her appearance, that signals loud and clear she does not want to be with you on more than a friendship level.
When you really like someone, you start getting self-conscious and that includes paying attention to how you look.
If your ex is wearing just shorts and tees, well that means she isn’t into you anymore. Accept that and move on. Sorry to deliver it to you but better me than someone else.
Three – All sensory is gone
If your ex talks to you openly about embarrassing things like body odor or a drunken escapade, without hesitation, then you need to see that as a clear signal they only want a comfort friendship with you and nothing more.
As much as you might want to wrap your arms around your ex, you need to stop in your tracks and pay attention the signals she/he is giving you.
Friends for now or nothing, take it or leave it.
Four – Your ex is trying to hook you up with other people
Okay, It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. If your ex-girl is trying to set you up with other girls, she is totally over you and the sooner you accept that, the better. This is a clear sign you will never get her and it’s time to move on.
It’s great that she is technically looking out for you but what you need to wrap your head around is that it’s not with you.
Time to move on my dear.
Five – Moves and hints aren’t there
Sure, when you are surrounded with friends, she might address you directly. But other than that she shows you with her inaction that she really isn’t interested in you, other than for convenience.
And if you are drinking and you can’t capture her attention on any level, you need understand that she really isn’t into you at all on a more than friendship level.
Please be smart with this one.
Six – Flirting is totally ignored
No doubt your girl understands your advances. But what you need to understand and learn is if she is totally ignoring your flirty techniques, she is just not into you. If she is ignoring your flirty tactic, you need to move on far and fast.
Bottom line – You deserve.
Seven – There is very minimal physical contact
When you want to be dating, she is going to want your touch and she will show you this.
If she is ignoring this attempt at physical connect, that means loud and clear she does not want you on anything more than a friend level. You deserve so please do not get caught up on this.
So if she is not showing you she needs your touch and attention, that means straight up she only wants to be friends, if that.
You’re going to ask her straight to clear it up.
Eight – Little miss buddy suddenly appears
If she starts tailing to you on the “bro” level, you need to clue in fast that she just wants to be friends with you. If you are her go-to when stuff hits the fan, which it will, that means you need to understand she only wants you as a friend and nothing more.
You get to decide whether or not that’s enough for you.
If it isn’t, then you need to end it pronto and move on.
Nine – Other invites when you want a one on one
This one totally sucks. When you just want to be with a girl and she is inviting other friends to join in.
What this means is that this is not a one-way date. She wants you to understand she is not with you loud and clear, as much as that hurts.
Ten – Avoiding the affection – Ugh!
This is where she will hurtfully treat you like she treats her friends. Often she won’t compliment you or give you the big hug you deserve. She will pull away from you just because and this is signalling to you loud and clear it’s friends at best or nothing.
Eleven – The halfway point is where she wants to meet
Perhaps if you have coffee, she insists on paying for herself, or if you are meeting she asks you what common location you’d like to meet. In other words, she doesn’t want or expect any preferential treatment.
Bottom line, if she isn’t interested in telling you where she lives or hint that perhaps she would like you to come up sometime and see her place, then I’m sorry to say she’s not digging you.
Twelve – There is no interest in going out on a date with you
Just because she isn’t stone cold to you, doesn’t mean she’s into you. If a girl really wants to get to know you better, she will let you know with subtle hints in the least. Pay attention to her words and body language and if she doesn’t somehow drop the hint you should maybe go out sometime, then she doesn’t want you.
It’s best to face the truth and move on sooner rather than later.
So when you are getting these signs and signals, what steps should you take?
I hate to say, you are wise-owl smart to take the hint and set your heart and soul focus on another girl. And sometimes when you show her you are willing to walk away, that’s when she decides that maybe she does want to be more than friends with you.
As with everything, time will tell.
Let’s have a gander at expert tips you might want to pull out of your back pocket to impress a girl, even if she just wants to be friends.
How To Impress a Girl
Huffington Post relationship experts serve up numerous take-action routes to capture the undivided attention of that special girl.
Make Sure You Act Your Age And Not Your Shoe Size
This goes without saying. It’s VIP that you act like the adult you are, even if you have to fake it. Don’t talk down to people, get snazzy, or ignore texts or phone calls. They are direct routes to turning a girl off.
Be Decisive
When you are sitting on the fence with everything and can’t make a decision for the life of you, that’s showing you are insecure and lack confidence and girls do not go for that.
Always Have A Plan And Use Considerate Thought
Sure, it’s great to do things on a whim. Adventure is great but if you are trying to impress a girl, you should have a plan and a backup plan for that plan. Women like a guy who can take action and deal with the planning and execution of a date or future event.
When you are serious about impressing a girl, you’ve got to show her your top-notch planning skills.
Be Secure In Your Feelings And Opinion
If you can’t think for yourself and the girl you want to get to know better sees this, then you’ve sunk to the bottom of the deep blue sea. It’s VIP you show this girl you can think for yourself and you are also open to hearing her thoughts and feelings on the subject.
Show her this and she’s going to want to learn more.
Transparent Is A Good Thing
The more open and honest you are, the better. If you feel like popping by her place to give her a good-night kiss, then tell her. If you want to hang out with her, make sure you communicate this to her.
Straight up and honest is the best route to impress a woman – Period.
Be Certain To Support Her And Her Life Choices And Show Her You Are Proud Of Her
If you do this you are setting yourself to be the cream of the crop – End of story.
When You Are Making Coitus With Her…
Focus on what she wants and don’t push her too far too fast. Try not to make her a porn star because I guarantee that’s not what any girl wants. Experiment when she’s ready and follow her cues. Learn what she likes and always put her first and you will be handsomely rewarded, just saying.
Be Thoughtful And Bring Her Flowers
Be unpredictable and buy her flowers just because you can. Don’t just leave it to birthdays and other special occasions. That’s just lame.
Maybe you want to get romantic and write her a letter or buy her a ticket to see a play? Be creative and you are going to get into the good books with her.
Be Sure To Make Straight Eye Contact With Her
This can seriously make her melt if you do it right. Think of it like giving her a couple glasses of wine…magical.
Eye contact needs no words because it tells her you are confident in you and interested in her. Need I say more?
Ask Her If She Would Like To Go Out With You
Again, this is where you show her you are thinking about her wants and needs. Ask her if she would like to go out and where she would like to go. When you make plans that shows her you are considerate and want to make her smile inside-out.
Doesn’t get much better than that when you are trying to capture her undivided attention.
Be Sincere When You Ask How Her Day Went
Life is tough sometimes and when you’ve got an ear on your side that wants to listen about the good and bad in your day, that speaks wonders.
Make sure you are listening to what she is saying and offer her support when and where she needs it.
Ask Her If She Would Like To Dance With You
This is another heartfelt “melt in your arms” moment. When you ask for a girls permission to dance, that says wonders. It’s romantic and considerate all rolled into one.
Do this and you are showing her you deserve to go out with her.
When You Want To Freak Out, Make Sure You Keep Your Cool
This is a tough one because you likely don’t know each others triggers yet. But when you feel like freaking out, make sure you don’t. Consciously program your brain to remain calm, cool and collected no matter what.
If you flip your lid, no matter the circumstance, you can kiss your chances of winning this girl over good-bye.
Make Sure You Treat Her Just Like You Would Want A Guy To Treat Your Own
Be careful here because considerate and sincere is going to go a long way. Don’t get crazy and start taking advantage of her in any way, shape or form just because you can.
Be polite, understanding and courteous and don’t forget to use your manners and you are on the right track.
Don’t Question Yourself – Always Give Her The Benefit Of The Doubt
This is seriously important when you think she doesn’t deserve it. If you call the kettle black before you have proof, you’re going to blow it.
Be fair, keep your mind open, and assume she is telling the truth. Sometimes this hurts but the risk is worth it if you are really into this gal.
Final Words
When a girl tells you straight up she just wants to be friends, that’s usually not good news for you. However, keep your mind open because sometimes she is saying this just because she is scared of commitment or perhaps getting her heart broken.
Follow your heart but don’t be afraid to walk away if you can’t break through.
You will do just fine because if you walk away from her and she’s worth it, she will come running to you.
Best of Luck!
