Body language is a fundamental aspect of human communication. Sometimes people convey more with their body language than they ever could with words.
But, on occasion, body language leaves us with more questions than answers. If a guy touches your face, for example, what does that mean? I wish I could give you a straightforward answer. It could be a sweet gesture, or it could be a major red flag! It all depends on the context.
Touching can be an incredibly intimate gesture. Along with eye contact, it is one of the clearest ways for a person to express interest in and connection with another human being. And when two people are interested in each other touch, there are natural, physiological responses that occur which promote this feeling of intimacy.
But it’s not always a positive thing. A guy touching your face can also be part of an effort to manipulate or control you. It is essential to consider a multitude of factors (and be on the lookout for other potential red flags) before you’re sure just how to respond.
There are several different things to consider here. What does it mean? How do you know if he likes you? What do you do if you like him? What do you do if you don’t (or if you’re just flat out uncomfortable)? Read on, and I’ll dive into all these questions and more.
Biggest Questions to Ask
The same body language can mean a multitude of different things depending on the context. To figure out what someone really means, you need to know what to look for and the right questions to ask. Here are the most important things to consider after a guy touches your face.
How Well Do You Know Him?
The nature of your relationship in and of itself can tell you a lot about what his intentions may be. Have you been close friends for a long time? If so, he may want to take things to the next level… but it’s equally possible he’s just goofing around with you. If you have a close, trusting friendship, you might be best served to simply talk to him. Ask what he meant and tell him how you feel.
If it’s a guy you just met, touching your face is extremely forward. That is an indication that you’re dealing with someone who has little respect for your boundaries. If you decide you’re interested in him, that’s fine—but be wary of things that might show if this is becoming a pattern.
If you know him a little better, but not very well yet, that’s different. Whether you’ve recently begun dating or are still figuring out the exact nature of your relationship, a gentle touch on the cheek is very intimate and flirtatious. That is a clear sign that he likes you, and the ball is in your court!
What’s the Setting?
Are you on a date? Are the two of you alone? Are you in a big group? The time and place can make a significant difference, as well. If the two of you are alone when he touches your face, that is obviously a much more intimate setting.
If he does it in a group setting, he may be trying to make you feel special, especially if you’re the only one whose face he touches. But it’s just as possible he’s just goofing around, or he’s showing off in front of the rest of the group.
Are You Comfortable?
One of the most important things to consider is how comfortable you are with him touching your face. That tells you just as much about him as it does about you!
Guys aren’t always as clueless as they sometimes let on. They should be able to tell whether or not you’re comfortable with what they’re doing. If you’re clearly uncomfortable with them touching your face, and they keep doing it anyway, this is a huge red flag! Be careful around guys that don’t respect boundaries. And don’t be afraid to put your foot down!
Conversely, if he touches your face and you are very comfortable with it—it just feels right—this is a clear sign that the two of you share some physical chemistry. And physical chemistry is one of the most significant factors in the success of a relationship—more on this later.
How Did It Feel?
This ties into the previous section, but the specific way he touches your face can tell you a lot about his intentions as well. If it’s soft and gentle, he’s definitely flirting, and likely trying to convey intimacy.
On the other hand, if the touch is firm—if it feels more like he’s grabbing you rather than stroking you—this is a sign that he’s trying to be possessive. Again, I would consider this a red flag. And if you do decide to pursue a relationship with this person, I would be on high alert for any emerging patterns.
Are You Doing the Same Thing?
Are you being touchy-feely with him, or are you keeping your hands to yourself? If you’re flirting with him by touching his face, and he responds by doing the same, odds are he’s noticed your interest and is showing you that he’s interested himself. That is a great time to try to move things forward if that’s what you want to do!
Does He Do It To Other Women?
There’s a good chance that if a guy touches your face, he’s trying to make you feel special. And hopefully, he wants to make you feel special because he thinks you are. But there’s a chance it doesn’t carry the same meaning to him, or worse, that he’s being deceitful.
Now, I’m obviously not telling you to start stalking the guy, or that you should feel jealous or betrayed if you’re not the only one. Instead, just pay attention to the way he interacts with other women.
If he’s touching other women the same way he does with you, he’s probably just a touchy-feely guy, and you shouldn’t read anything into it. But if you notice that he doesn’t use the same body language with anyone else, this is a clear sign that he’s interested in you.
What to Look For
There are additional patterns of body language and actions you can look for to help figure out what that touch on the face really means. Whether he’s into you, joking around, or trying to manipulate you, here are a few signals to look out for:
How to Know if He’s Manipulating You
Manipulation is often based on three main factors: obligation, guilt, or fear. And one of the defining traits of an expert manipulator is being able to make someone feel those feelings without realizing that they’re the ones causing them. Let’s break down each one of these factors one by one.
Obligation
If a guy is the type to try to manipulate you by touching your face, there’s a good chance he’ll focus on obligation primarily, particularly early in your relationship. A common approach is to frame themselves as a “nice guy,” always doing favors for you.
Before long, though, you’ll notice those favors always come with strings attached. “I did this for you, so maybe you can do this for me.” As time goes by, he’ll start to act as if he’s entitled to more and more.
It’s human nature to feel the need to reciprocate a favor. And usually, this is a good thing! But manipulators can exploit this tendency by making empty gestures and demanding more and more in return.
And if they don’t feel like they’re getting what they “deserve” in return, they will typically turn to the next tactic: guilt.
Guilt
Manipulators often act hurt or betrayed. They try to make you feel as if you’ve let them down—and if they’re good at it, you’ll feel as if you did. They’ll do whatever they can to get you to question yourself, and then do the things they want to assuage that guilt.
Many of these types of manipulators will even genuinely believe they were wronged, but that doesn’t make it okay. It is not your responsibility to enable their victim complex. If they’re continually making you feel bad about yourselves and acting like the world is out to get them, this isn’t the guy for you.
Fear
This tactic typically isn’t as subtle as the other two. But that isn’t always the case. Yes, many bullies are easy to spot. But skilled manipulators can be intimidating without being loud and obnoxious. And sometimes, they can even do so without their target even directly associating the fear with them.
Their goal is to make you feel uncomfortable and intimidated unless they get what they want from you. Ultimately, you’re going to have to trust your instincts in this situation. If you consistently feel ill at ease around this person, that’s a major red flag. Their goal is to make that feel normal, or as if it’s your fault. It’s not. Trust your instincts; it’s time to bail.
Ultimately, you don’t want to assume the worst in people. And a guy touching your face is probably an innocent gesture. But it could also be a sign of someone who wants to control and manipulate you. If other red flags like the ones above start to emerge, don’t ignore them!
How to Know if He Likes You
Okay, so we got the cynical part out of the way. Now, here’s what to look for to see if he’s interested in you.
He Makes Lots of Eye Contact
It sounds like a stereotype, but this is actually backed by science. A 2017 study indicated that when men are mainly interested in friendship, they look more towards the ground when they talk to women. But men who are interested in pursuing a romantic relationship look up and make more eye contact.
Altogether, eye contact is believed to be one of the most significant indicators of romantic interest. If a guy touches your face and makes consistent eye contact, there’s a good chance he likes you.
He Pays Particular Attention to You in Group Settings
If you’re hanging out in a group and he always seems to be sitting by your side, gravitating towards you, and laughing at your jokes, there’s a good chance he’s interested you. This might seem like an obvious one, but it can be easy to miss if you’re not looking for it.
Someone who just wanted to be friends wouldn’t treat you any differently from the rest of the friend group. And if you’re the only one whose face he touches, that’s an even more apparent sign.
He Uses Open Body Language Around You
There are several ways that a guy’s body language could tip you off to potential romantic attraction. Open body language is just what it sounds like: it’s a person opening their body to someone else.
An example of the alternative is crossed arms—that person is using their arms to close off their body from whoever they’re with. But if they keep their chest open and lean towards you, that can convey interest.
Another example is if they turn their entire body to face you. Someone who is less interested in you, or only interested in friendship, might only turn their head towards you when you talk. But guys who are interested in you romantically will turn their entire body towards you. A good tip is to watch his feet—if they’re always pointed at you, that might mean he likes you.
He’s Always Looking for Excuses to Spend Time With You
Here is another one that you might not notice if you’re not actively looking. It’s one thing to spend time together when it happens naturally. But if he’s regularly going out of his way to spend more time with you as well, that can definitely be a sign of interest.
A typical example is when he walks with you in a different direction from where he was planning on going. If he is willing to make himself late just to get a little extra one on one time with you, odds are he wants to be more than friends.
If a guy does any or all of these things and touches your face, you can be all but certain that he’s flirting with you.
In the End, Trust Yourself
Ultimately, you need to trust your instincts here. You can read all the signs in the world. But only you know how it makes you feel when he touches your face, whether it feels right, or if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Listen to your feelings and follow them.
What to Do
So, now you have an idea of what his intentions may have been. So how do you respond? That is, of course, entirely up to you. But here’s some friendly advice:
If You Like Him
If you think he’s flirting, and you like him back, there are a couple of different things you can do. But my recommendation would be to match his body language.
Body language is an incredibly powerful communicative tool. If you match the signals he’s sending with some of your own, he should pick up on that, and it will set the stage for the two of you to potentially move forward.
Plus, physical touch can provide a strong foundation for a growing relationship. It’s not just about physical attraction, touch can help promote mental connection and even help you to develop positive relationship skills. Much more on this later.
If You’re Uncomfortable
If it feels like he’s touching your face to try to manipulate you or be possessive, or if you’re uncomfortable for any other reason, be clear and firm. If you’re uncomfortable, your body language typically conveys this automatically. So if he’s continuing to touch you, that means he’s not picking up on your cues, or worse, downright ignoring them.
So you need to move past the nonverbal communication. Tell him directly: “I am not okay with this.” That may be unpleasant, and it may feel impolite. He’ll probably try to play it off as a joke, and tell you not to make a big deal out of it. But he made it clear that his behavior was not going to change, and you don’t have to put up with that.
If a guy touching your face feels wrong to you, he doesn’t get to tell you that you’re crazy for feeling the way you feel. And if altering your body language wasn’t enough to get him to change his behavior, you need to stand up for yourself.
Relationship Benefits of Physical Intimacy
If the two of you do eventually pursue a relationship, this physical contact can actually contribute to a strong foundation. Studies have shown that non-sexual physical touch can provide tremendous benefits to a relationship. It is often overlooked, but it actually can be one of the keys to long-term relationship success.
Physical contact plays several psychological and physiological roles, that can provide the foundation of a stable, successful relationship. One study conclusively indicated that contact between those in a relationship reduced heart rates and promoted relaxation.
Benefits were particularly strong for couples in happy relationships—the more the couple enjoyed each other’s company, the stronger the biological response. So this type of touching can contribute to a positive loop of happiness and attraction.
The physiological responses don’t end with heart rate and relaxation. Physical contact also releases a brain chemical that has solid, tangible effects beneficial to romantic relationships.
Oxytocin
Close contact helps to release the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin, colloquially referred to as the “love hormone,” is known for promoting feelings of attraction and well-being. But it doesn’t just cause a rush of emotion.
Scientists have also found that oxytocin promotes feelings of trust and empathy, and a willingness to communicate. So, it’s not just a high that makes you more susceptible to feeling love for one another—oxytocin helps you to develop actual, practical tools that you can use to make your relationship last.
Scientists have found that couples that produce the most oxytocin have higher odds of remaining together long term. A 2012 study showed oxytocin to be directly correlated to relationship longevity.
All in all, this hormone, triggered by physical contact, can help couples be more trusting, develop improved communication and conflict-resolution skills, and, simply enough, be more open and attracted to each other.
The Bottom Line
A guy touching your face is a very personal gesture, one that surely resonated with you deeply, for better or for worse. I’m sure you wouldn’t be reading this article if it hadn’t! But body language can be mysterious. How do you know what his intentions were? And how should you respond?
There certainly can be negative connotations with this. Touching someone else’s face, especially if it’s done firmly or aggressively, can be a sign that someone is trying to be possessive or controlling. And even if it’s gentle, it can be a sign of a manipulator. If you’re worried, be sure to look for other red flags or patterns, and if you’re uncomfortable with his behavior, stand up for yourself and tell him so!
But more likely than not, he’s touching your face because he’s interested in you. Body language is an incredibly powerful communicative tool. And if he’s pairing his touch with increased eye contact, an open stance, or consistently facing his body towards you, these are clear signs that he likes you.
If you’re interested in him as well, and you match and reciprocate his body language, this can establish the foundation of a healthy relationship. Many effects of physical contact boost feelings of attraction, trust, empathy, and openness. So, if you like him back, go ahead and touch his face!
