When you want to be with a man, these are words you don’t want to hear. It’s confusing, but you need to be honest with yourself and understand this is not a good sign in a relationship.
Some men are afraid of commitment or of getting in too deep too fast. That’s much different than deciding they just don’t want to be with you and trying this route to break it to you gently.
Truth: There’s no easy way to break it off with someone.
Why? Well, because feelings are involved, and someone’s heart is going to get stomped on.
Telltale Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Wants Space
What Does It Mean?
It’s probably a shocker when your partner tells you he wants some space, but what does this really mean? It’s not cut and dry, like he wants to break up with you, which would probably be easier. Instead, he wants to send you into a panic wondering if this is the beginning of the end or whether he really does need a break.
If he truly loves you, why would he want to take a break?
When a man says he needs space, it’s often because he is simply drained by the relationship. Many times, there is some sort of relationship conflict that’s too overwhelming or frustrating for him.
When guys feel no progress, or they feel stuck, their first move is to step away. The pressures and expectations of the relationship are putting him in an uncomfortable position and he just wants a break from it all.
He believes if he takes a break, he will be able to figure out what he should do next. Usually, he really doesn’t know what he wants, and he believes a little time will magically give him the answer.
Here are 3 factors that could be causing the turmoil for him:
Factor One: Another Woman
If he has been pursuing another woman or has suddenly bumped into a woman that makes his heart beat a mile a minute, that could be the reason he is telling you he needs his space. He might want to go out with this woman just to gauge how strong his feelings are for you.
Not a fair move, but it does happen.
Factor Two: You Are the Cause
If you are the type to demand a lot and openly smother him, this is cause for him to want to step away, so he can come up for air. When a girl is too emotionally needy or jealous, that often doesn’t sit right with the guy, and although he might still love her, he may feel the need to take a break.
Being high-maintenance is also key to pushing a man to want to take a breather.
Factor Three: He Is the Cause
When a guy feels insecure because of the relationship, he may believe he has no choice but to temporarily break it off. Maybe the two of you argue all the time or you have too many boys you hang out with. These are most certainly his issues, and more often than not, they are enough to push him close to the edge, needing to take a break to start.
If you summarize all this, it basically means the relationship is just too much for him to handle mentally. He’s so stressed out he doesn’t know or trust how he really feels about you.
If he doesn’t want to quit on you completely, now what?
What To Do When He Says He Needs Space
It really doesn’t matter why he wants to get away from you for a while; you’ve got to let him go. As tough as it might be, you need to make yourself give him the space and the time he needs to figure out whether or not he really wants you and the relationship.
Give him the opportunity to experience what it feels like not to have you in his life. On the bright side, this often makes him realize how much he loves and misses you.
You need to make certain you do this with confidence and class. Don’t get all clingy and mushy or you will push him away forever.
Never try and work on drawing him back to you. Don’t text or call him or stalk him on social media. When you are hanging out with your mutual friends, make sure you don’t ask about him. Regardless of how you feel, you have to leave him in his own bubble to figure it out.
As painful as it is, take action to move on with your life and never look back—at least, for now.
If he figures out he really can’t live without you, he will be the one to reach out and ask to reconnect. Of course, that decision will be up to you as the ball is in your court now.
When a man decides to come back to the relationship, it’s vital that you ask him what caused him to bolt, so you can work together to fix the issues.
Some guys take a break because they want to date other women. If this is the case for you, then you need to ask yourself if this man is really worth giving your heart back to. He already crushed it once. Don’t forget.
He needs to understand that when you are in a loving, committed relationship, you aren’t allowed to take breaks. That sort of acting out isn’t fair to you at all.
So, how much space should you let him have?
That’s a tough question. If he’s not breaking up with you and just wants some time away, you need to figure out a timeline. That’s only fair to you.
If he asks you for a month or two, and if you just aren’t comfortable with that, you need to let him know. Maybe it’s better for you to break up if he can’t understand where you are coming from.
What’s also important is that you don’t internalize any of this. As tough as it is, you can’t take it personally. The reasons for your boyfriend wanting to take a break are his own, not yours.
Don’t let him know how you are feeling and don’t read into his actions at all. That will just send your head spinning out of control.
Ultimately, he needs to feel excited and inspired to want to have your relationship back, and you need to understand you can’t make him do this, no matter how badly you want to.
You don’t want to be calling him all the time, because that won’t make him want you back. Asking him if he’s upset with you is not going to make him want to come back. Instead, this is the natural route to try and hang onto something that maybe isn’t meant to be.
A healthy relationship is a two-way street.
If your boyfriend is trying to pull away from you, then you’ve got to stop trying to pull him towards you. Cut the rope and let him go.
It’s impossible to hang onto someone who doesn’t want the same thing.
Next up, let’s have a look at whether or not you should let your ex back into your life
It’s certainly tough when you are trying to figure out whether you should let the man who broke your heart back into your life. It’s hard to fight off the feelings when he is constantly texting and calling, showing up at your door and begging you to take him back.
Normally, it’s not as simple as yes or no because there are so many personal factors to consider. There are times when a little space is exactly what the relationship needs. Other times, couples keep coming back to each other because they are lonely, bored or afraid.
Question One: What’s the Reason Your Relationship Ended?
You have to ask yourself and be honest as to why the two of you broke up. Did you grow apart? Did someone cheat? Did the spark fizzle out?
It’s critical you face the music and identify why you broke up. If your breakup was because of something emotional, like your ex cheating, that’s likely a signal you shouldn’t let him back in your life.
On the flip side, if it was a life event or innocent miscommunication that drove the two of you apart, maybe he deserves a shot at being let in.
Question Two: Has Anything Changed?
If the factors that caused the split haven’t changed, or if they can’t change, you need to think long and hard about what you want to do. The definition of insane is expecting different results with the same actions.
If you broke up because of sheer stress, you’ve got to ask yourself if the stress is still there or if it has dissipated. Maybe you grew apart because he was on the road a lot with work and now he’s got a job where he can make more time for you.
You’ve got to ponder whether anything is different if you are seriously considering letting your ex back into your heart and life.
If nothing has changed, you need to admit to yourself that letting him back into your world would be a big mistake. Just don’t do it.
Question Three: Am I Thinking about It Just Because I’m Tired of Being Alone?
This is a tough pill to swallow, but you owe it to yourself to face this question head on. When you are lonely, it’s easy to feel yourself wanting your ex back, even if it’s not the right move for you. Loneliness sucks, and many women would rather be in a crappy relationship than sit at home alone watching soaps and crying.
Ask yourself whether you are feeling overwhelmed with the need to have someone to be with. If you are lonely and miss having strong arms around you, that’s not a valid reason to take your ex back.
Exes are exes for good reason.
Solve your loneliness issue by finding someone new to grow with. That’s a much better option.
Question Four: Are You Pissed at Him?
Ask yourself if you are mad at your ex because he did something awful when the two of you were a couple. If you had your issues but for the most part were able to work together to get through them, getting back together might not be such a bad move.
On the flip side, if your ex was always treating you like crap, you are probably resentful of his actions. If you are angry with him, you are going to carry this feeling into your relationship if you let him back in again. That’s not a good thing.
Question Five: Can You See Yourselves Being Good Together?
This is another tough question because there are so many raw emotions involved. If there weren’t, you wouldn’t care or consider letting your ex back in the door. Asking yourself this question is going to force you to look forward into the future and envision whether or not you can truly see a happily ever after.
If you focus forward and see the same issues in the picture, then you know what you have to do.
Question Six: Do You Have Realistic Expectations?
Do you think your ex is going to come back a brand-new person just because the time apart has healed everything?
People don’t change, and you need to understand he is going to be exactly the same man he was before you broke up. Sure, he’s missed you and he may have tweaked a few of his behaviors to get into the good books with you, but that’s not a good enough reason to get back with your ex.
On the bright side, if you can actually see a possible relationship with real expectations, and if you still love your ex for who he is, then perhaps a reunion will make you both happy.
Sometimes, a fresh start really does work.
Question Seven: Is My Ex on the Same Bus as Me in His Thinking?
This is the most critical question of all. You need to ask yourself if you believe your ex really does feel the same way about your relationship as you do.
Your ex should be asking himself the same questions, because unless you can conclude you are both thinking the same train of thought, letting him back in, no matter how much you miss him, would be a mistake.
Here are a few take action signs he is still in love with you:
Sign One: He Still Loves Holding Your Hand
When a man holds your hand, that’s yelling out to the world he still loves you. This sweet move identifies you as a couple and that you are fully committed to each other. You are there for each other and trust one another now and always.
Sign Two: When You Talk, He Listens
When a man gives you his undivided attention whenever you have something to say, this means he is deeply in love with you. It shows he has respect for you and he cares about what you have to say and about what matters to you.
If he’s reading the paper and nodding while you are talking, you might have to consider the fact he might not love you anymore.
Sign Three: Spontaneously, He Shows You Admiration
When your guy shows you signs of affection at random, you are one lucky woman! This doesn’t have to be something huge because it’s often the small things that matter most. Maybe he always makes sure you walk on the inside of the sidewalk or he might plant a nice kiss on the top of your head just because.
Super sweet gestures make it clear you are still in his heart.
Sign Four: He Likes to Use Your Pet Name
You’ve found the cream of the crop if you are with a man who believes you deserve a cute nickname, no matter how long you’ve been together. If he’s using your nickname, he’s telling you just how special you are to him.
Sign Five: He’s Always Full of Surprises
When a man loves a woman, he’s always looking for ways to make her smile. If you’ve got a man who likes to surprise you with flowers, notes or other small gifts just because, you have an amazing guy!
Sign Six: He Will Ring You Just to Touch Base
When a guy texts or calls you just because he is thinking about you, it’s a surefire sign he is head over heels in love with you. Sending goofy notes or text messages is showing you he loves to make you smile. That’s definitely a man with magic.
Sign Seven: He Still Gives You a Kiss in the Morning and at Night
When a man still remembers to kiss you goodnight and good morning, he’s showing you he still loves you. We only control the moment and never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. This means it is very important for him to show him how much you mean to him every single day.
A simple kiss says it all when we are talking about true love.
Sign Eight: He Appreciates Your Weaknesses and Always Supports
Everyone has weaknesses, and in some relationships, people use each other’s vulnerabilities to break each other down. That’s so hurtful and wrong.
If you are having trouble with something and your man is encouraging you along, you’ve got a man who loves you for you. This really is a super sweet signal that he believes in you and accepts you for you. Talk about magical!
Sign Nine: You Get to Pick the Movie
Let’s face it, more often than not, the woman wants to watch one type of movie and the guy another. But if your partner is willing to skip the action movie to watch a chick flick with you, that’s a nice sweet gesture telling just how much you mean to him.
If you get to pick the television show too, then you really are one lucky gal. Talk about picking a winner!
Sign Ten: He Makes You Laugh
Laughter is the best medicine. If your guy is always looking for ways to make you laugh and the two of you are constantly laughing together, he’s showing just how special you are to him.
If he loves the sound of your laugh and tells you so, you can be certain you’ve still got his heart.
Sign Eleven: He Accepts Your Stupidity
Everybody makes mistakes from time to time, and everyone gets silly too. If your guy accepts when you screw up and if he doesn’t make you feel like more of a dork than you already are, you have found your perfect catch.
Sign Twelve: Never out to Hurt You
Some people are with a partner who constantly wants to hurt their feelings. If your partner is a man who looks out to make sure you never feel hurt, then you’ve definitely got a man who loves you for you.
Final Words
The more you understand about what you want and need in a relationship, the easier it’s going to be to get exactly that. It’s important for you to ask yourself the tough questions when it comes to figuring out why your boyfriend wants space and whether or not you want to let your ex back into your life.
You’ve got one life to live, and you deserve to be happy. Be open and honest with yourself and believe you deserve to have the man of your dreams. Stay on course, and you will get there.
