What to expect from online dating sites? There are so many dating sites these days and knowing the best online dating sites is a fabulous place to start when you are looking to find that guy or gal of your dreams. However, if you don’t know what you’re looking for first, you’re going to make the dating process much more complex than it needs to be.
Decide what sort of dating relationship you are looking for before you get started and you’ll set yourself up for online dating success.
Do you want a serious relationship?
Are you looking to play the field and have a little fun?
Is sex with no strings all you want?
Perhaps you are looking to find that special someone and you’ve got till death do you part on your mind?
It really doesn’t matter what you want. Just make sure you figure it out up front and don’t be ashamed to share. The only way people get truly hurt with online dating is if one or both people mislead the other. That’s sad.
Dating is supposed to be exciting and fun and with a little direction and open communication, you will set yourself up for an adventure of a lifetime!
There are lots of different types of love relationships on the market these days. Use these pointers to help figure out where you stand and determine what type of love triangle you’re comfortable in. The three pillars of love relationships are intimacy, commitment, and passion.
Intimacy – This is defined by Psychology Today as the extent to which you experience or seek feelings of closeness or connective emotional bonds. How much do you want to or can you open up with someone? Many people live life with a closed door. If you do, you don’t have the ability to experience romantic love on all levels.
Commitment – This is referring to the degree to which you can stay in a relationship. It’s easy to run or stray from a relationship when problems hit the fan. Even when things are running smoothly, there are some people that just aren’t comfortable staying in any sort of relationship for very long. This is a choice and often a very bad habit that interferes with finding a long, loving, and lasting heartfelt relationship.
Passion – This is reflective of the degree of intensity or intimate desire you may or may not have toward your partner. This desire is chemical and requires an openness and want to be with that person on all levels if it’s going to help strengthen your bond and draw you closer.
I would say, this is the magic that holds a relationship together because if you haven’t got passion to some degree, you will lose the desire with time. That’s when it becomes inviting to throw in the towel instead of working to build your passionate glue stronger.
You need a strong sexual attraction combined with intimacy and commitment if you want a romantic relationship to last. Feelings of open sharing, common goals, and spending time with one another are essential ingredients in the big picture of forever love.
However, that’s not what everyone wants. There are all sorts of relationships out there and so many people either don’t know what they want or they want something other than the ultimate “forever” deal.
Main Types Of Relationships
*Passion Only – Extremely High
*Commitment And Passion Are Married
*Highly Committed Only
*Both High On Intimacy And Commitment
*Romantically High On Passion And Intimacy
*Friendship/Like High On Intimacy
What are you looking for?
Companionship Love
This is where you’ve been together for many years, feel closely connected but the fire and passion is long gone. Sure it shows up from time to time but normally it’s just not there.
Infatuation
This is where your union is based of fiery passion and the need for physical and romantic relations but you really don’t have any connective value in your relationship. You haven’t made any plans for the future and long-term commitment isn’t in your vocabulary.
Loveless Love
In this relationship, you live together and love one another but aren’t really connected emotionally anymore. The sexual desire is gone and your relationship is more like going through the motions. That’s security for some people.
Consummate Love
Here you’ve been together for many years and are still “in love.” You are still emotionally and romantically attracted to one another and completed committed and dedicated to one another. It’s what you both want.
Like Relationship
In this relationship, you’ve been together for a few months and really like one another but you haven’ stepped into much of an emotional connection yet. There is no passion but that doesn’t mean there won’t be one day. You don’t think about commitment or the future.
Real Romantic Love
This is the ultimate for many. Where you’ve got an innate sexual and romantic attraction toward one another, there’s that emotional connection, and you’ve both commitment to the future together and look to only deepen your love bond.
Infatuation Love
This is as comfortable relationship where you are both planning on staying together. You have a good sex life but you really aren’t as emotionally connected as some couples prefer. It just doesn’t mean as much to you.
The more you understand what sort of relationship you’re looking for, the more likely you are to find it through the wild and wacky world of best online dating sites. What’s important to note is that just because you aren’t in the ultimate real romantic love relationship, doesn’t mean you can’t get there at some point with the dating relationship you’re in.
Quality relationships take time and experience to develop. There are so many circumstances to consider that it’s crazy nuts to make your plan for dating and expectations absolute. Life evolves and so do relationships. Some grow deeper with time and others just fizzle out. Relationships are tough but rewarding. Some work and others will never click in a zillion years.
Get your head on straight by being true to yourself and figuring out what type of dating relationship you’re looking for and work backwards. Believe it or not, there are specific sites for “types” of dating relationships. None are written in stone but this helps to narrow down the playing field off the hope.
Dating Sites Revealed
POF – Plenty Of Fish – All Types Of Relationships
This very popular dating website. It’s one of the largest dating sites in the world with almost 100 million registered worldwide. POF is also available in 5 different languages and it’s one of the only websites you can actually sign up and use for free. Most of the dating sites charge you to receive emails and actually view member profiles. Plenty Of Fish isn’t one of them.
OKCupid – Good For All Types Of Relationships
OKCupid is initially free to members and hold its own as a very popular dating website. Behind the scenes, this site is a little more focused than POF and uses specific algorithms to match you up with a suitable match. It’s been around for over 12 years and it steadily gaining popularity.
Mingle – Not So Serious – Casual, Swingers, Dating Relationships
Mingle has been around since 2008 and is set up as a professional relationship service members pay for. It’s good for different types of relationships but isn’t as popular as some of the other dating sites on the market. Usually, Mingle flies under the radar but that doesn’t mean it’s not the perfect choice for you.
Match – Are You Looking For Love?
Similar to e-Harmony, match.com is focused on setting you up with the man or woman of your dreams. It’s officially the largest of all dating services, is available in 24 different countries and has been alive and growing since 1995.
You can set up your online profile, load pictures, and search through the inventory to find your perfect match. A key point to mention is you have the ability to narrow down your date parameters right of the hop. This helps to ensure you are fishing from the right pond of candidates for you.
Zoosk – Dating App Tuned Into Your Behaviors
This unique dating app is set up to meet your needs with a neat behavioral matching search engine strategy. You fill out your information and the system will figure out who your perfect match is based on their internal criteria.
This app is in 80 countries with over 28 million members you can sort through. A little bit of work but they claim that you could find a great match from using Zoosk strategy.
EHarmony – Where Love Everlasting Exists
E-Harmony has been kicking since 2000 and is set up to help you find the love of your life in the shortest amount of time. You don’t get to search on your own and are hooked up with potential dates that have the qualities you are looking for in a partner. All of that information stems from all the questionnaires you fill out. They really are quite extensive.
Thousands of people lay claim to the success of this dating site and that propels millions of users each year to give it a shot.
Cupid – Gives You The Power To Pick Based On Spiritual Needs
On this dating site, you have the ability to search through members to find your match based on spiritual wants/needs/desires. Instead of picking matches for you like many other sites do, it encourages you to step out of your comfort zone and choose your own.
Chemistry – Fairly Unknown – Electronic Message Based
Chemistry is affiliated with match.com and useful if you want to take the scenic route when searching for a date. If you would rather type back and forth till the cows come home, which they never do, this site is for you. The focus is getting to “know” someone online very well before you actually meet in person; if you meet in person.
It’s fair to say this site is for people who are gun shy, don’t really know what they want in a dating relationship, and perhaps believe they are happy just hiding behind the computer screen and getting their jollies having a whack of potential dates with no pressures or expectations of ever having to deliver in person. Cheesy but true.
OurTime.com – Age Sensitive Dating
If you are over 50 and looking to get back into the dating field, this is the site for you. It’s meant for older people that don’t want to have to worry about intimidating and often immature younger people ruffling their feathers.
Companionship and more serious relationships is the focus. Not so much fooling around. Although, if you dig deep enough on any of these sites you’ll find forbidden fruit.
Meetic – European Dating Site That Leaves The Browsing Up To You
This dating website emerged way back in 2001 and is one of the most successful online dating sites in Europe. You don’t get charged for a membership and have the freedom to search through millions of profiles on your own to find your perfect match.
So you will find lots of diversity which is beneficial if you aren’t really quite sure what type of relationship you want. Just not so good if you are specific with your wants because the casual trouble makers will try and invade.
Dating For Seniors – Mature Men And Woman Looking For Long-Term
This dating site is set up specifically for older men and women searching for that special someone to spend the rest of their lives with. You simply set your personal profile and start searching.
Fidelity Dating – Volunteer Based And Free For People Who Have Been Betrayed
This free online dating site was created for volunteers that have been left brokenhearted through betrayal. If you are looking for a relationship minus the betrayal, this site may be perfect for you.
Beware: Always practice optimistic caution with online dating sites because there’s are always a few rotten apples.
Date 2020 – Psychology Based Dating Site Focused Long-Term
Date 2020 is a free site run by volunteers. It uses psychology as the basis for matchmaking with the focus on long-term unions. In other words, there’s no fooling around with this dating app. Before you meet you will at least know you have some commonalities in thinking.
PositiveSingles – Safe Relationships Of All Kind
This dating site was created specifically for people with STD to find friends, relationships, and a tight knit group of people dealing with similar issues. There is a tremendous amount of support and information with this dating site. A positive place to start if these are your unfortunate circumstances.
Tinder – Location and Social Profile Match Making
Since 2012 this dating site has been matching single people based on where they live and their social status traits. The unique feature of this site is that users must both choose to swipe right before there’s any sort of connection made. A big picture common interest to start if off works for many believers. After you simultaneously swipe right you can converse within the Tinder app.
The Heart Market – Online Matching For Safe Online Dating
The Heart Market dating world is for all the timid worrywarts of the dating world. Each person has a background check for safety, you have access to help for your profile, and you get at least one monthly match.
Seems a little bit lame but there are people who love this site…somewhere.
Slow and steady wins the race with this online dating option.
So you can see there’s a huge wealth of choice when it comes to selecting what type of dating site you are looking for. From swingers to serious dating, anything you want is literally at your fingertips. All you’ve got to do is figure out what you want, create your profile, and get started.
Types Of Men Drawn To Online Dating
There are exceptions to every rule and when it comes to Internet dating there really are zillions of different types of men that are looking. We’ve narrowed it down to just eleven different categories of gents that may be looking for some sort of relationship. Pretty much bang on with what Psychologytoday.com experts are saying.
Just Browsing
This is the guy that certainly has the desire for a great sexual love connection, a fantasizer. But he hasn’t got the balls to step up to the plate and step out from behind the safety of the computer screen for anything more than chat.
This guy is a waste of time.
Loves All The Fish In The Sea
This guy has a positive attitude when it comes to dating but hasn’t really got his feet wet in the online dating world. He likes the face to face and usually follows through on what he says online. Think casual here and authentic. Just not quite ready to get passed the surface.
Mr. Experimentation
This guy is young and adventurous and “thinks” he knows what he wants but doesn’t really. He understands there’s a magical world of women online and wants to literally taste them all.
Got The Ex Blues
This poor guy has been hurt bad and is looking to drown his sorrows in other women. He’s genuine but likely not looking for anything serious. Fun for a while but stay away if you aren’t also in the grieving phase.
Good rule of thumb is 2-3 years for an ex-wife and at least a year for a serious ex-girlfriend. The longer the better ladies…
Curious But Taken
This guy is a bit of a slider. He has a relationship but can’t quite figure out what’s missing so he’s always looking. Won’t likely really act on anything he finds but his actions say it all. Stay away unless all you want is a little fun and you’ve got a heart of stone.
Sinking In Fantasy Land
This man has awesome communication skills and wants dirty good sex and a great connection. His expectations are crazy and the pressure to live up to them is nuts. It may sound amazing but when all sense of reality is gone you’ve got nothing left. Your best move – let him sink without you.
Liar Or Fabricator
This guy is usually older and starts by lying about his age so he can hook up with younger women. He means well but isn’t comfy being himself. When a guy starts out with a lie, even an itty bitty one, there is no trust. Period.
Busy Guy Looking To Create Magic In Minutes
This is typically the successful busy guy that’s looking to meet the woman of his dreams in a 30 minute appointment and sail off into the sunset. He is routine-based and this makes it incredibly tough to adapt to anything the online dating world brings.
Real connections are tough because of his self-imposed timelines and regulatory nature.
Finally Hit The Jackpot With Girls
In his younger years, this guy likely didn’t get the girl because he was so nervous. With some age he’s figured out he can have pretty much any girl he wants. He’s usually divorced and likely in his 40s or 50s and fairly good looking.
A kid in the candy store that’s enjoying the moment is exactly what this type of guy is.
We can have dinner from 6:03 to 7:03…10 minutes travel time to the hotel…5 minute check-in…17 minutes for sex…back to the office for a meeting at 7:55…eek!
Likes To Prey On Women
This guy really doesn’t like women at all and loves to make them feel bad. He doesn’t have any control of himself and really doesn’t care what people think, so woman are just an amusing tool for him. He’s very dangerous; emotionally speaking.
The Loving Guy Every Girl Wants
This guy is genuine and alive. Looking for that one girl he can treat like a princess for the rest of his life. He may have a little baggage but doesn’t everyone? He’s available emotionally and ready to get started.
This man isn’t going to get sidetracked looking for another flavor and really does want to invest his time and energy in a relationship with one gal. The ultimate catch in dating.
You may also be interested in our article: What To Wear On A First Date.
Final Thoughts
There’s loads to consider when you are looking for the best online dating sites and uncovering the different strategies that are essential to get what you want from it all. There is nothing easy about online dating or any type of relationship. They take communication, openness, understanding, and a mind that’s eager to keep on gathering information to help you make better relationship decisions.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way and when you decide what you want in a dating relationship, the next step is to pick a few sites that fit you and go for it.
The only way to get what you want is to take action and do it!
Dhanny says
Nice Post!! Must read this blog for those who are in relationship through online dating website.
Jennifer Benn says
Hi @Kat. There are plethora of dating sites apart from these sites you have mentioned. But, these are really great and possibly of finding a partner in these sites are really high. But, the sad part is, you never know who is on the other side of the web. Is that person really wants love or a scammers. Yes, scammers are in high numbers in every dating sites. So it’s always advisable for the online daters is to conduct a background check on the prospective love and then proceed. It’s the biggest precaution you could take to avoid catfishing and prevent yourself from any unforgivable situations.
Azad Chaiwala says
Dating can provide you with short-term relationships and quick hook-ups but expecting a long-term and sincere relationship is something nobody should be expecting from these dating sites. As you mentioned, mostly, people want short-term relationships where they can enjoy their time and stay away from commitment. If somebody is really interested in a long-term and sincere relationship, I’d suggest you sign-up on GoMarry.com and users of this website only want a serious relationship. They are more interested in starting a family instead of wasting time with insincere people.