This is a tough one, when you are left wondering why the guy you love is pulling away from you when falling in love. There are many sides to this coin and we are going to explore them all with expert information that’s going to help you understand why he is pushing you away when the heat gets turned up.
The Real Reasons Why He Pulls Away When Falling In Love
Here are the real reasons why your man is taking a step back when he’s totally falling for you.
Maybe things are going awesome with your man – like totally awesome great. You feel head over heels connected with him and he really feels like the one.
You trust him, you’ve let your guard down and you think he feels the same.
Then all of a sudden when you are feeling so closely connected with him, the walls start coming up and you don’t know what to do.
Suddenly, it feels like he’s losing interest in you and just when things start getting serious, he seems like he doesn’t know what to do next.
Let’s look into why he might be shutting you out and take action.
*First things first – Don’t get too worried just yet. First, you need to figure out whether or not there is something to worry about.
Time to be realistic. If it’s only been a day or two that he seems far away from you, it’s likely nothing to worry about.
It likely has nothing to do with you.
If you want to wreck your relationship, you will jump the gun and assume he’s losing interest in you prematurely. Don’t do this please.
VIP-A strong relationship takes time to develop and it doesn’t involve jumping to conclusions – think perseverance and you’re on the right track.
Reason #1 – Perhaps he is freaked about losing his freedom
If you don’t understand this one, then you’ve got a lot to learn. Guys like their freedom and it doesn’t mean they don’t want to commit to you. What it does mean is they are afraid of losing their connections with their friends – you know, their guy buddies.
You need to be understanding and wary of this and all will be fine.
Reason #2 – Maybe he’s just afraid about the marriage thing because he just isn’t the marrying kind?
Your Tango experts are all over this one.
When a man tells you he doesn’t want to get married, for crying out loud please listen to him! A straight up lesson in futility is trying to make a man marry you when marriage just isn’t on his mind.
If for your reasons marriage is priority one on your list of life things to do and your man isn’t interested, then you owe it to yourself and to him to just move on.
Is it going to be easy?
Nope!
But you know and I know and the whole world knows it’s the right thing to do.
Let me ask you something, do you really want to drag him down to the altar and start the next chapter of your life off in a negative note?
You’re insecure and crazy if you do, that’s not how healthy relationships work.
If your life paths aren’t lined up, you need to be open and honest with yourself and stop hanging on to something that just isn’t going to be. He’s not what you deserve.
Reason #3 – Your belief systems and long-term goals are on different buses
This is a tough pill to swallow and yes, having different interests and passions is a good thing. However, if you are opposite sides of coin with everything, you need to recognize this just isn’t a good sign in any relationship; let alone one where “falling in love” is involved.
Compromise is vital in any lasting relationship but if you have to give up everything you love and believe in so that you can keep your partner happy, well, that’s just not right.
Particularly, if you have different views on some of the larger aspects of marriage, like kids and religion.
Emotion and logic don’t mix and when you have strong set beliefs about something important to you that is essentially non-negotiable, your partner better be on board with you or you’re in for rough waters ahead, just saying.
Maybe he wants simple short-term dating with you and isn’t interested in anything more?
Just be certain you are compatible on the issues that are important to you. Try not to skip past the conflict just because you want him to fall in love with you. In the end, if you lose the things you love or have to change your beliefs, you will grow to resent him in time.
Not fair but it’s true; something to think about.
Reason #4 – An issue in your hands – you’re fretting too much about how serious things are getting
Chances are, if you are set for the marriage thing, he already knows this. However, that doesn’t mean he is interested or ready for that just yet.
What if he wants to just enjoy the ride and you are focused on kids, house, marriage, you know, the “till death do you part stuff?”
Women are naturally programmed to seek out a provider that’s going to take care of them and the children. Guys on the other hand are often up for just spreading their seed and not looking too much into any one girl.
Maybe you are pressuring him and that’s helping to push him away from you? Something to think about.
Newsflash – Back off on the pressure and he might stop pulling away long enough to let you in completely.
Reason #5 – The intense “in-his-face” emotions are getting to him
Women are the emotional ones and men normally don’t like to live that way. You could say men are dippers. They like to dip in and then dip out repeatedly. Guys are okay with a little emotion but when it becomes to much, they just want to bolt.
Think of it like a cornered cat.
Makes sense that if you have some serious dating discussions with your guy, he might suddenly make himself scarce for a few days.
FACT – This is NOT because he doesn’t love and adore you. It’s because he needs to focus on “guy” things so he can give his emotions a rest. You don’t have to understand this but you do need to accept it.
Reasons #6 – Pressure from the loved ones
One thing I would tell any man thinking he might want to marry a girl is that you are not just marrying her, you get her whole family in the exchange.
That one is signed, sealed and delivered.
Now if he doesn’t approve of or get along with your family, you better think long and hard because this might be a reason your man isn’t willing to fully fall head over heels in love with you.
Often guys will stall because the girl of their dreams, that’s you, just doesn’t mesh with their family. Not much you can really do about that because either you fit or you don’t.
Note – Love doesn’t trump family.
Reason #7 – He knows you are not long-term material
Nothing hurts more than facing the fact that you are ready to marry the man in front of you and he just doesn’t feel the same.
This doesn’t mean by any means that you are in the wrong, so give your head a shake if that’s what you are reading into this.
What this does mean is that most relationships just aren’t structured properly, build strong from the ground up, to stand the test of time.
He could very well be totally happy keeping the bond casual and if that’s not what you want, then you need to step up to the plate and let him know you want more.
Open and honest is critical here even if it hurts.
Reason #8 – He just doesn’t feel happy with his future
The Truth – Most guys worry about their career. They often have a one-track mind and struggle finding their purpose or meaning.
I can say straight up one of the biggest mistakes gals make is pushing a man to get more attention than he is wiling to give. This will make him push away from you pretty fast.
Pressure is normally not a good thing.
Reason #9 – He is totally uncomfortable with “Death Do You Part.”
Some guys are simply forever scared of connecting with a girl forever. There is no right or wrong here, it just is. Please be careful and make sure the guy you have your eyes on is at least interested in getting to know you.
So How Do You Make A Man Fall In Love With You?
Cosmopolitan has oodles of expert tips and tricks to get the man you want to fall head over heels in love with you.
You might think that falling in love is something that just magically happens, but that’s just not the truth because there is actually a science behind it.
There are hidden secrets you can use to help understand why and “if” a man will fall in love with you and that’s magical.
If you are certain this is the guy for you and just need a little help convincing him you are the one for him, this is what you need to do.
1-Make Sure You Are Mysterious
If you want a man to fall deeply in love with you, then you need to make sure you don’t uncover everything for him off the hop. Make him work a little for it.
Guys love mysterious girls and love the challenge to crack their code. Just be causal and don’t get too deep too fast.
Give your guy a little suspense and mystery and that will work wonders in helping you convince him that you are the one and only gal for him.
Peel back the layers and leave the door of opportunity open for him to crave more.
2-Learn To Pay Attention And Fill The Void
No doubt, science research shows that when a guy is looking for his perfect girl, he is going to give his attention to the girl that fills the void missing in his life. It’s up to you, the perfect girl, to figure out what that is.
So if your man is lacking in self-esteem, boost him up!
This will give him the opportunity to become emotionally attracted to you and that’s exactly what you need to do in order to convince him you are the one for him.
Give him what he needs and you will receive tenfold in return.
3-Be His Mirror
Mirroring is a proven psychological move that has been seasoned for years. If you do it wrong, you will be a major creep. However, when you do it right, you can make your man fall deeply in love with you.
That’s magical in my books!
What mirroring means is that a man is paying attention to your actions.
So if you are at the movies and he takes a handful of popcorn, you will do the same.
If you are at the bar and he chugs a B52 shot, you will follow suit.
When you are mirroring him, he will have no choice but to fall deeply in love with you.
4-Red Is It!
Studies show, according to Talko, that red is the sexy card period.
The most attractive color in the whole wide world is red. Men are more willing to date and commit to a woman that is wearing red.
What does this mean?
Gals…Ditch the black and go for red and you are on the right track.
5-Make Sure You Are Adventurous
So if you want your man to have all eyes on you, it’s important that you steel him out of his comfort zone and take him into adventure land!
What does this mean?
Maybe you want to take him on a date to an adventure park?
Perhaps you want to take him bungee jumping or skydiving?
It really doesn’t matter what you do, except you need to push him out of his comfort zone to do things he wouldn’t normally do.
6-How About Considering A Warm Date
Studies show that if you go on a date with a guy and you are having warm beverages, you are going to have better luck.
People holding hot beverages have warmer personalities and that’s great in the big picture.
So skip the ice-cream and go for the warm stuff and you’ll do just fine.
7-Closeness Is Important
No doubt, there is a valuable reason as to why shy men stay away from long distance unions. If you are close to someone, it means straight up you want to get closer. Experts aren’t saying you’ve got to go across the glove to find a man to fall in love with you, but the effort won’t go unnoticed.
8-Common Friends Are Essential
If the two of you have common friends, you have a much greater chance of him falling head over heels in love with you, seriously. Unfortunately, we are all set to trust other people that we can’t really vouch for. This is why so many people meet up with their ultimate love through friends.
Makes sense right?
Bottom line…If you have a few people that are going to pump you up…Then the guy you have your eyes on will be much more open to giving you a shot – Just saying.
9-Yap About Kids And Animals Please
Most men are searching for a gal that wants to find someone that’s nurturing and loving. And if you want to show your man this, you need to show him how much you care about other people.
10-Adjust Your Walking Speed Please
This is something that is closely relating to mirroring. If you can learn to walk at the same speed as your man, you are going to show him you want him.
Normally men walk faster.
If a man slows his pace, he is showing you that he is totally into you!
10-How About Paying It Forward?
If you can show our man, whenever it works, that you are a kind and considerate person and that you love and respect them, you’re on the right track.
When you pay it forward; buying a coffee or gas for a random stranger, you are showing you are giving and that’s everything in any relationship.
You can like or lump that one, your choice.
11-Be The Smiley One
This one is seriously a no-brainer. When you are smiling, you are showing you are attractive, open and inviting.
More Signs He Totally Loves You
Cosmo experts are crystal clear about the signals and signs men deliver when they are crazy about you. Of course seeing is believing and until you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the man you are dating really does care about you, it really is quite stressful!
If he lets you keep a toothbrush at his place or gives you a key, what does that really mean?
Time to find out once and for all whether the guy you are focused on is in love with you.
Signal One – The Eyes Lock During Coitus
When a guy is truly into a girl, he is more likely to kiss longer and make eye contact during sex. This means sex is more than just pleasure to him. It’s a connection and a way for him to get closer to you.
Signal Two – Fast-Forward The Relationship
If a man is really in love, he feels confident and this means his phobia of committing will get kicked to the curb fast. It’s a totally different way of thinking. You see, when you love someone, you are more likely to want to take those big steps forward together with that someone special.
Signal Three – You Will Get To Know His Family And Friends Fast
When a man loves a woman, he doesn’t want to hide it. In fact, he wants to show you off to the world and that means you will quickly get introduced to his friends and family, the people who are important in his life.
Signal Four – He Doesn’t Shy Away From Tell You He’s Thinking Of You
If a guy is telling you that you are on his mind or that he’s dreaming of you, that means he is into you in that very special way. You are close to his heart and definitely in his head and that’s a fantastic thing!
Signal Five – His Free Time Is Spent With You
When a man wants to spend as much time as he can with you, he loves you. When you become involved in his every day life, that’s a clear-cut sign you’ve got one special man.
Final Words
It’s just not easy-peasy to figure out why he pulls away when falling in love. Think of it like you might a jigsaw puzzle. Where you’ve got to look at the facts, pay attention to the signals and put the puzzle together.
Use this expert information to help you figure it out.
Best of luck!
Cowgirl says
What if you have been seeing a guy for 22yrs on And off and something always seem to get in the way of us for some reason.but your total in love with him and every week end you spend together but he never introduce you to his friends or go anywhere what does that mean I see Love in his eyes at times but’he pulls back alot what should I do from here???
Judi says
we talk about being ogther then we plan to go to church one dy and he call early in morning and tells me he is going to take the day off today Subday and left eakkky the night before what do I thinkk is he giving me the heave hoe we talk about mvng in together I am getting confused nee help