Will he come back? That’s the zillion dollar question I’m sure you’ve asked yourself at some point in your love life.
Is he going to come back to me or not?
Do you really want him to come back to you for the right reasons or maybe you are just scared to be alone?
Sure it may hurt right now if your man left but I pinky swear promise it will get better. And one thing for certain is I don’t want you to forget the only person you control is you. No matter how bad you want him back, he’s only going to come back if he wants to.
Let him decide on his own because the last thing you want to do is guilt or pressure him to make his way back to you when his heart is telling him otherwise. That’s a recipe for disaster.
Information is knowledge and knowledge is power. We’re going to have a look at various key indicators of whether or not your man is coming back wagging his tail behind him. Or if he’s already taking action to move on or maybe isn’t quite sure what to do.
First up, here are a few pretty clear signals your man is coming back to you.
Clear-Cut Signals He Will Come Back To You
Sure it would be nice if there was a master dating guidebook that could give you the heads up on exactly what your man is thinking and feeling. Holy crap, that would get rid of a whole lot of heartache, miscommunication, and pain.
But that’s not the case, at least that I know of.
Basically, it’s like a jigsaw puzzle or master mystery. You’ve got to learn what signals to look for and plug that into the factual behavioral information you already know about your ex. From there you’ll be able to get a pretty good idea in your brain of whether your man is coming or running, according to “The Talko” experts.
Let’s get started…
Signal One – Non-Stop Contact
You may think this is an easy peasy sign your ex is coming back but not always. He may just be bored or looking for something to do when he sends you texts or makes comments on your social media platforms.
On the other hand, he may really be missing you and trying to find a way back to you. In general a man isn’t going to put any effort into communicating with you unless he likes you, at least to some degree – That’s fact.
Another assumption according to relationship specialists, is that men generally don’t have any issues moving away from someone they don’t want anymore. Where girls normally have more trouble just because of those natural strong emotions that often override logic.
Bottom line is…
If your ex-man is contacting you when he really doesn’t need to, it’s fair to say he likely does want you back. Whether that’s a positive or negative is up to you to decide.
Signal Two – He’s Consistently Curious About How Your Day Went
This is another subtle but often true indicator that your ex-boyfriend misses you. When he seems to want to know how your day is going, that’s telling you straight up he still misses you.
If he didn’t care, why would he ask?
He would have moved on and never bothered to contact you again, at least on a regular basis, if he still didn’t have feelings for you. That’s the truth.
Often you’ve got to separate to understand for real if you really want to be with someone.
Newsflash…If you’re thinking about him and he’s reaching out to you, then you can be pretty sure he wants you back.
Signal Three – Finds Time To “Catch Up” With Your Friends
eHarmony relationship experts believe if your ex is conversing with your friends, that’s a ginormous hint he wants you back. In the least, he wants to take the awkward “ex” factor out of the equation.
Think about it for a minute. If he didn’t want to have anything to do with you, why in world would he want to communicate at all with your friends? Well, he wouldn’t!
What he’s probably doing is trying to feel connected to you and fishing for any little tidbit of information he can get on you. This might also be his subtle way of hoping your friends will pick up on the fact he still wants you.
Maybe he wants them to relay the message just to get an idea of what your thoughts are.
If he didn’t want you back, he’s not going to make any effort to stay connected with your friends – Period.
Signal Four – Family Ties Are Still Strong
Hands down one of the worst things about breaking up is dealing with the family, particularly if you were close. It’s downright tough when you’re close to your ex’s family and he’s close to yours. Yikes!
Truth is, if you don’t want to get back with your ex, you aren’t going to hang out with his sister and mom anymore, right? That’s all I need to know! If your ex-boyfriend is still hanging out with your family, then you’ve got to consider the fact he’s really not over you and wants to hook up again.
Don’t you think it’s kinda weird your family is exchanging texts and going to the movies with the guy you are trying to make your past?
Sounds like he wants to be involved in your life as much as possible and no matter what’s gone down, he still isn’t over you and wants to get back to relationship status. Something to ponder.
Signal Five – He Basically Suffocates Your Social Media
It’s not just girls who stalk social media these days, the guys are a close second. When a guy has the hots for a gal, one of the first things he will do is let it be known via social media.
How you might ask?
Well, by liking your posts to start and eventually paying you compliments for the world to see. Technology rules these days and one of the most popular slick routes to let a girl know you like her is to follow her, virtually speaking.
If he still wasn’t thinking about you, he would do everything in his power to NOT get noticed on your accounts. So if he’s the first one to like your posts and consistently makes comments, he certain has his door left open for a reunion.
This isn’t a slam dunk he will come back but it’s an excellent sign.
Signal Six – Consistently Comments
This is a bit of an expansion from the previous signal but if you have a thumbs up for signal five and six, your guy seriously wants you back. If your ex is taking the time to comment specifically on your social media posts, it’s safe to say he wants you back.
If he wasn’t entertaining this thought, he wouldn’t take the time to say anything.
Beware, if the comments are jealous in nature or just plain weird, that might be a whole other can of worms. But if, for the most part, they are positive and constructive, my bet is he wants to be your other half again.
Balls in your court to make your move. Just look both ways before you cross the street because nobody wants a heart crushed twice by the same guy.
Signal Seven – Trust Your Gut
Psychology Today experts report one of the most important factors in relationship decisions is to trust your gut, what your mind and body are telling you. This isn’t a science but you can normally tell when a guy does or doesn’t like you.
Try setting all the interfering external stimuli to the side and listen to your gut feeling. Often your first impulse is right.
If you’ve just got that vibe he wants you back, you’re probably right. Now whether he admits to that or not is a whole other ball game.
Why would you think he wants to get back together with you if he doesn’t want it too?
We are creatures of habit and often complete cowards. Neither person wants to admit they are still in love or want to get back together for fear of rejection and embarrassment.
Been there, done that and I’m still doing…
Perhaps you need to take control here and tell him what you are thinking. You deserve what you want and if you still want him, why don’t you just go for it?
Signal Eight – Rinse And Repeat
If you’ve gone down this path of breakup before and gotten back together again, that increases the odds dramatically that you’re going to do it again. It’s not for certain but you’ve got a better shot than the newbies for sure!
On again, off again relationships are quite common. I’m not saying this is healthy or anything like that but sometimes it’s the time apart that smacks you in the face and makes you realize just how much you love each other.
Totally weird but true.
There’s gotta be a reason you keep doing this right?
So if you’ve broken up before and gotten back together, there’s a good chance you’re going to do it again. Perhaps this time it will be till death do you part!
Signal Nine – Simply A Break And NOT A Breakup
I can’t do this but some couples can. It’s where you decide to step away from each other for a set amount of time and reflect on your relationship. Technically, this isn’t an actual break up but rather a little time apart to see how you truly feel.
I would like to think the guy you are with is the guy you don’t ever want to see yourself without. But to each his/her own!
In hindsight, there must be a very good reason why you didn’t call it quits and just chose to break for a bit instead.
If this is your situation, it’s highly likely you’ll get back together or at least try. Maybe this is what you both need to recognize just how important he is to you and vice versa?
Time will tell.
Signal Ten – You Experienced REAL Love
I’m not talking puppy dog love here but the real deal. If you and your partner experienced that kind of true love, you don’t want to be without, the magical kind, there’s a good chance he wants you back.
Life has hiccups and sometimes they get in the way of what you both really want. If this guy is your soulmate, there’s no way he can let you go.
True love will bring you back together in time. He has his reasons but if this is the case for you, there’s not a lot to worry about because he’s not kicking you to the curb. What a dumb move that would be.
Signal Eleven – He Hasn’t Hooked Up Yet – At Least Not Officially
If some time has passed since the two of your detached and he hasn’t got another girl, that’s a pretty good sign he wants you back in his life.
I don’t think you’re reading into things too much here because if he was a player, he would have a new girlfriend within days. If he still wants you then he has no reason to search for another.
There are so many reasons relationships don’t work out, many of them are seriously silly. If your ex is still single, there’s a reason and chances are that reason is you.
Make sure you run this one by your friends before you take action. Trust me, you get better results in numbers.
Signal Twelve – Your Heart Aches For Him
If you ex keeps popping into your brain, the memories you shared, that has meaning.
This isn’t the case all the time but if you truly love and care about someone, it’s usually the same on both ends. Bottom line is, if you are missing your ex then he’s probably missing you too. How much could be the deciding factor here.
You may want to consider going out on a limb here and talking to him.
Without risk, there’s no reward.
Signal Thirteen – Only Minutes Have Passed
If your breakup just happened, you can be pretty sure your ex still wants you back. This is all about reaction time and making the right choices in the heat of the moment. Beware, this is what I call an “intuitive” moment.
We often act on impulse and it may not be the best to jump back into your relationship just because. Sure, this is a surefire signal he wants you back but you do have to ask yourself if it’s for all the right reasons.
Let’s look into signals he doesn’t want to be with you…hurtful but true.
Clear Signs He Doesn’t Want You Back
Many experts believe there are obvious signals your man just doesn’t want you. The sooner you accept this, the better.
Do you have that deep down gut feeling your guy just doesn’t want you anymore?
Does your inside the head voice tell you something just isn’t right?
Has a switched been flipped and he’s just not looking at you with those loving and excited eyes like he used to?
VIP-This is the time to be brutally honest with yourself.
Sign #1 – Just Doesn’t Know
OMG – If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this, I’d be a millionaire! Trouble is brewing if your boyfriend has fessed up and told you he just doesn’t know if he loves you anymore. What this is, if I can be brutally honest, is that he is not in love with you anymore and doesn’t want you.
Don’t play into this one and give him time to figure it out. Seriously, just give him his walking papers as harsh as that sounds.
Sign #2 – Table Turner
I’m sure you’ve been here before and just haven’t wanted to accept it. Experts at Men’s Fitness say if your boyfriend starts ignoring you or acting really distance, he likely doesn’t want to truly be with you.
Does this hurt? Yes, it does.
Trust me on this one, your’e better knowing sooner rather than later.
You deserve to be loved for you, now and forever. No matter how much it breaks your heart, you need to walk away from a guy that turns the tables on you and tries to pin you for his change of heart. End of story.
Sign #3 – Priorities Suddenly Change
Does your boyfriend do any of these things?
A – Shows you with his actions you aren’t a high priority anymore.
B – Starts ignoring your calls and texts and makes up dumbo lame excuses.
C – Chooses to hang out with his friends all the time instead of you.
This is what experts call a “fading” breakup. It’s when he still wants you around for comfort sake but has really lost interest. Sad but true.
Run far and fast from this one please.
Sign #4 – He Always Seems To Be Crazy Busy
Couples that are truly in love, make time for each other no matter how busy they are. They set plans up ahead of time and make sure they happen.
If your partner all of a sudden decides to stop making plans with you, it’s time for you to start questioning his intentions. Chances are he is not into you anymore and looking to move on when he gets the guts to do so.
Walk away – Period.
Sign #5 – Suddenly Everything Is Top Secret
If all of a sudden your “boytoy” starts hiding things from you, particularly if he used to be open with you, that’s a clear sign you are done.
The best outcome here is hat he just doesn’t love you anymore.
The worst outcome is he already has another chick on the side and that’s why he’s been so sneaky.
Follow your gut with this one please. Don’t hang on.
Sign #6 – Seriously Has The Balls To Check Out Other Woman Right In Front Of You
If your man rudely checks out other women in front of you, it’s time to ask yourself whether he’s really worth it or not.
Of course, guys are naturally programmed to notice women. We’d have a procreation issue if they didn’t. However, there is a fine line between discreetly checking out beautiful women and not caring about whether they offend you or not.
In other words, there is a right and wrong way to do it.
For me, there’s a lack of interest if he’s commenting boldly on every rack that walks by, just saying.
Sign #7 – Affection Has Disappeared
If the fun flirting and hand holding has disappeared and there’s no kissing and cuddling, you have to entertain the idea that your man doesn’t want you anymore. He might very well have lost his feelings for you for a variety of reasons.
Think about it. If you want to be with someone in a romantic sense, don’t you want to be openly affectionate with them?
Final Words
Understand, there are exceptions to every rule. However, if you have the gut feeling your man is becoming distant, always seems to be busy and doesn’t make you a priority, in the least, these are in-your-face signals your man needs to move on.
Consider all of these signs and signals and figure out whether or not your man is worth fighting for. Ultimately, you know your man and you know your relationship. Follow your heart but understand you deserve to be loved for you, inside out.
Best of luck!
Louanna says
I’m not sure witch one I am me and my partner broke up 2 days ago he said he needs time to get on with things and stand on his own two feet without worrying or relying on me he stoped showing me much appreciation after are child was born we have a 6 month together and the attention always gos on him so by the time it’s are time I sleep and he’s always out busy to understand why I get so tired I love him so much do I wait and give him space or move on in life
Kate says
If he’s not willing to work on the relationship with you then you have no choice but to move on.
Grace says
Hi,
Recently my boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately and yesterday he just broke up with me. We’ve been together for two years and I don’t want our relationship to end. We are at different points in our lives and it’s extremely hard to find time with each other but when we do it is amazing. However, there are moments where we will fight when we are together and he’ll drop me off at my house and we just don’t talk about our problems. He said he broke up with me because he doesn’t know if he wants to be in a relationship. He is busy and is going on a trip for most of the summer. I don’t know how to convince him to give me one more chance. Can you give me advice?
Thanks,
Grace
Kate says
I would suggest you give him some space to be without you for some time and see if he starts missing you. If he doesn’t try to contact you at all, perhaps he really doesn’t care about you anymore.
Kadyann says
My boyfriend and I of 2 years recently broke up. It’s been almost a month. He still treated me nice. Exactly a month ago I told him I don’t want him anymore and might as well he moved on due to him being constant on his phone or hiding his phone away from me. I went by his place to use his laptop to update any necessary documents for my college applications. Then I realized he had a female on his bar on his laptop, they were texting each other back and forth, video calls, it breaks me. I fought him out of jealousy. He told me he is always the one who tries to reconcile with me and now he is tired of it. A couple of days later he came to pick up his stuff, I told him I love him, care about him and still wants to be with him. He said he likes the girl and would love to have her as his girlfriend, that breaks me. He still hugs me with all that affection which confuses me. I guess he never loved me in the first place. He treated me really good and now he’s about to be a total stranger. It’s rough. I called him, texted him to give me another chance and he said it is useless and I should move on because I have 2000males friends and I should go on a date with the guys who hits on me. But how can you let go a relationship of 2 years that we got so much planned for someone of 3 weeks?
Charlotte says
Hi
How is everything with the boyfriend now?
I just saw this.
Mary Donato says
My long distance boyfriend of over 10 years suddenly started pulling away from me. We broke up about a year ago. He came back we tried it again and I flout that he had been seeing someone else during our time apart. We got back together and he ghosted me in the meantime I found out that he was back to seeing this girl again. I’m heartbroken and want him back. I guess I always loved him more. How can I handle wanting to contact him or get my self esteem back. I’m so sad.
Kate says
Try to make yourself busy so you wouldn’t think about him all the time. Pick a new hobby, hang out with friends, take a class, or go to the gym.
Elizabeth says
My boyfriend and I have had an on and off relationship for two years but the issues for breaking up never was because there weren’t feelings there or love, always situational (hard home situation, people getting in the way, etc). This is our third break up now but it’s been really confusing he said that he was confused, at one point he said that he saw more with me and then when I asked again he said no I don’t not right now, and that he wasn’t sure he felt what I do, but also he felt like he just couldn’t be in a relationship right now. He mentioned that just seeing me brought up old feelings but that he was confused. At the same time though he kept telling me how beautiful I was as a person and he did seem genuinely upset, I know Love is still there we have always had this firework type love and right before all of this happened he told me I was the one. When I asked about giving me a second chance he said he wanted to buy just didn’t want to get hurt again that he wanted to believe everything was situational but there was a pattern and he just couldn’t risk it right now. After our break up he started texting me later and it was almost like we were catching up but when I asked if talking would provide clarity or if we should give things total space he said that he enjoyed talking with me but it hurt. He told me not to wait but later when I told him I would he said he was sorry that things had been so hard between us but he thanked me for being understanding. I know there’s a lot of things right now he’s dealing with in his personal life in regards to his future and I’m not sure if he’s just scared to commit and that’s what has caused the confusion or if he really doesn’t feel the same way anymore and I’m not sure what to do.
Kate says
Yeah, it’s hard to tell if he is scared to try again or he just doesn’t have enough feelings for you anymore. However, if he told you not to wait, then you probably shouldn’t.
Vaishali says
Hi
I was in relationship with my cousin for a year..for the first four months we were close to each other and spent time together that time he was caring and makes time for me..After that we got into colleges.then he started to ignore my texts and calls saying he is busy with his studies..it went on like that for 8 months..at that time we met only 4 times..suddenly he said he is confused about our relationship and not clear about our future and then we broke up..but after a month he patched up with me saying that he missed me…A week after patching up..he revealed the truth behind our break up to me that he has cheated on me with his ex when she came to patch up with him But after a week he broken up with her too. they were in relationship for 3 years and they broke up 3 months before he committed with me.After telling truth he felt bad about cheating me and said break up again..But still he is trying to be connected with me…what can I do now…I still love him but he is not accepting me but still he is missing me…will he come back to me again..plzz answer me..we are still talking to each other..
Kate says
Seems like he doesn’t really care about you. He might come back to you again after his failed relationship with someone else. He knows you will take him back even after he cheats on you. So he’ll go and date others and he’ll keep you close enough just if things won’t work out with other women. Obviously, I don’t know his true feelings but the fact is that he has cheated already and no one can guarantee that this will not happen again even if he comes back to you. Unless this is ok with you and you think you can’t get a better boyfriend, then you can wait for him. If I were you, I would move on as fast as I could.
Naiz says
Hello I’m 20 years old my boyfriend broke up with me we had a lot video calls daily I was in a long distance relationship with him he just broke up with me and now he is very angry at me and he said that he don’t love me anymore I have to ask how many time will be require for him to realise my worth and when he’ll return back to me again
Scarlet says
After how many months do you forget your x completely, i have moved on and it 3 months now but when i sleep i still dream of my x. i even prayed that it must stop because he betrayed, following my heart made him feel more hate that he actually blocked me and refuses to have closure.
Kate says
It’s individual but don’t be surprised it to take a year or so. When I was in my twenties, I had a bad breakup and it took me 2 years to get over him.
Scarlet says
I do not want him back because everytime we tried it never worked out his not responsible and is very secretive we were just not meant for each other its just sad that i woke up after he got another girl pregnant. he literaly ran when i gave him an opportunity for us to talk like adults then move on. he only opened up about his affair after 5 months and he was rubbing it in my face that yeah! i am loved and respected where i am now and expecting a handsome baby boy. i was not offended but told him he has my blessing. he got furious and insulted me then blocked me.
Jamie says
Dealing with a guy for 2 yrs then his child mom told me that they were in a relationship and I’m just a side b**** get a life and leave him alone . It’s been back and forth arguing with me and her he’s stayed quite but has called me saying he will talk to me and to stay out the drama ! But then I went out 1 night and saw him and her at a gas station together. He was trying to reach out to me now he hasn’t said a word in days . I’m confused I really do love him she is very evil and if and when he leaves she distroys all his things and spray paints his dogs etc.. so I don’t know if he’s there to keep the drama down or if he really loves her and I was just something to occupy his mind at times . HELP!
Kate says
Seems like this is a very unhealthy situation and most likely it won’t change. He has a child with her so she will stay in his life (and in your life) for a long time. You need to really think if this is what you want. Moreover, I can’t t really tell what his real feelings are for you. Perhaps, try to talk to him and figure out what do you both want.
Rosa says
So I clearly see all the signs that he wants me back and I highly believe he does, but my question is, what am I supposed to do then? I really need your help
I wish I could talk to you about our weird story and you would give me heads up
Rosa says
Bc I’m so confused and it gets on my nerves
frida says
My boyfriend of two years has gone mute on me. last Friday my girlie had a birthday party which I attended and got wasted, I ended up breaking my boyfriends phone and realised I got drunk, got mad at me but didn’t tell me while I was in his house on Saturday during the day. He came up with the issue just as I left ,we had a little misunderstanding about it, He got mad till today and has not replied my texts of yesterday, thought he’d reach out today but till now no call no text messages, is this a break up, what should I do, I’ve already apologized
Kate says
He might still be upset. Let him cool down for a day or two and try to talk to him again.
Monika Alejandra Andrade García says
My boyfriend broke up with me two days ago. Well, in the end, we both agreed as we were hurting each other so much. Our relationship has always been extremely difficult since the beginning, but when we were together everything seemed to be magical. It was not like that the last few days. We dated for a few months in 2016, broke up on December and didn’t talk for about 6 months… During this time we went out with other people. Suddenly, as soon as I was already over him, he contacted me and spent a lot of time begging me to go out and we finally did. We had a wonderful relationship for about a year. It became super hard though as we live in different countries, I moved in with him for a few months… I had issues with his sister and her wife (they are lesbians) and this affected us as a couple. He started changing since then… I had always been jealous and when he started to become distant, I became more and more jealous, he was always mad. Finally, things got too tense between each other and ended up breaking up. I returned to my country with all our failed plans and my heart broken. He says he might still look for me in the future if he realizes he still loves me and misses me… But reading this just makes me think my relationship is finally over and there is no way to turn back. I’m deeply hurt, but I appreciate your article and honesty.
Itzel says
My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago he left my daughter and I aloe! He moved on to another relationship! Lately we been talking and it seems like he isn’t too happy with his decision and with himself he said maybe in the future we can try things out again! He said it takes time and effort that he still loves me and miss me and our daughter! Idk if eventually we will get back together!
achusla says
I was in a long distance relationship for 5 months that ended badly.
He pursued me and was determined to make it work and then all of a sudden he disappeared in the most unexpected time it was a week before christmas and my birthday. i ended up getting a message after my birthday saying he had huge family arguments and was feeling bad and was convinced he didnt do well in one of his exams and would be hell waiting longer if he has to sit that one again and cant able to be see me in the summer and he was saying sorry and said he wanted a break but left it to long and then all my attempts to talk to him has been ignored. i was deepy shattered by his actions. i honestly dont see it coming and him ghosting on me. months has passed and i still think of him and cry i know what i will do to pass this difficult time but it seems im frozen and unable to move on and feeling sorry for myself and depressed, I just dont understand why. he told me he doesnt want me to be someone he knew once but why did he cut all contact with me? anyways its been 7 months since but last april i sent him an angry text. he read it but didnt respond a month later saying. “everytime i try to message you and apologize i just freeze and feel like crying” i replied a question mark i was a month late to reply cuz i deleted the app and then i even added him back on snapchat i seen he score going up but didnt acknowledge my readding now i feel rejected again. i feel like a fool.
will he still come back? was it a closure message? was it a message to reconnect? or he was just bored and wantin to redeem himself from the jerk move that he did?
i feel so obsessed trying to analyze things.
any comments and advice?
Kate says
It’s hard to know for sure what he meant by that message. However, it looks like it was not a message to reconnect. He might have felt sorry for hurting you but that doesn’t mean he wanted you back.
Jay says
My girlfriend and I have recently broke up after 3 years of being together. A year in our relationship I had cheated on her emotionally over text; with some female out of the country; it really hurt her, but besides the hurt we had decided to get back together, almost 2 years later she had cheated on me physically; and was really hurt that she did so, I was torn apart but I understood because I had hurt her first. She was very confused not knowing if she wanted to be back with me; I wanted her back, and she told me that she didn’t want me back but was contradicting herself telling me that no one could replace me and that I mean so much to her and that she does want me back. We ended up getting back together, and things were going good for 2 months until I would bring up what she did because it still hurt me. And that was a breaking point where she told me that she doesn’t want to me anymore and that she wanted space; she was trying to find herself again. But she loves me and would still text me saying I love you baby. One day she got fed up because I brought up again; and then she stopped all contact with me. I went to bring her flowers at work; and she cussed me out, I would text her apologizing telling her i was just hurt; and she would ignore me, I went to her house to bring her a flower and she told me to leave or she would call the cops. I emailed her and told her that I’m sorry for bringing things up and she would ignore me; until once she answered back and told me that she’s done forever. Is she truly done forever, my heart is hers and I want her to no that. I had given her space since she said she doesn’t want me anymore, no calls, text, or emails. Do you think she will ever talk to me again? Do you think we will ever get back together ? I love her, and she would always tell me I’m her bestfriend and that she loves me so much. Please help me.
Kate says
I don’t really know if you guys ever will get back together, but seems like she wants to be left alone.
Fern Anderson says
Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years, last week we agreed that he would trial us living together in my house for next three months, yesterday we were going to put a deposit on a cruise for next year, he is now putting it off – we had a very emotional conversation that lead him to doubt his feelings for me or though he said I am very important to him and he cares for me deeply, after 3 hours of discussion he left and took most of his stuff saying he needs time to soul search. This morning I packed the car with the rest of his belongings and took them to his House he wasn’t home so I left the stuff , took my few belongings and posted the his key through letter box, I was hurt and frustrated – I haven’t heard from him – I’m regreting my actions and am fighting wether to try and contact him to explain my actions . Please advise me I’m going crazy can’t stop thinking about him and crying all the time , I’m scared I’ve blown any chance we might have had to make up.
Kate says
You can contact him to set up an end date for the break. Perhaps, give him 2 weeks or a month to figure things out. After that, you guys either move on or stay together.
Kate says
Hi, have been with my boyfriend month and it ended last night with him saying he is not sure? He is scared, and says I am better off with out him as I can do better, I don’t want better I want him, what do I do, does he truly not want me
Roxana says
Hi,
I have been in a beautiful relantionship with my exboyfriend for 2 years. We were very much in love and we actually made plans for wedding. He was the one starting the wedding thing, but never proposed. I knew he didn’t want to go through with it and I kept pushing him to talk about it. He would always say its what he wants. He would send me love messages, telling me how much he is in love with me and stuff. But in one week everything changed, he was not texting me anymore and wouldn’t talk to me, he said he doesn’t know how he feels and he feels empty and unhappy with everything. He never said that he doesn’t love me and he didn’t have the courage to break up with me. I decided to move out and he was fine with it. Its been a month and he doesn’t want to talk about any of this. What do you think happened?
Chiwaraidzo Nechitima says
give him space. don’t contact him and he will start missing you, see your importance and surely come back.
Chiwaraidzo Nechitima says
Hello…I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago. We had a fight, I was drunk and I told him how I felt, became violent, hurt him and embarrassed him in front of his friends by telling him that some popular guy in our school raped me. After the fight his family and friends told him to leave me but he was like he still wants to be with me. We were together for three days and he suddenly started to act all weird, moody and spending time with his friends more. He even told me that one of his friends wanted him to date another girl at our school but he does not want her. He broke up with me told me he wants to be single, he doesn’t want a girl now but rather he wants to be single and free. He said he won’t move on now but if I want I can move on. I gave him space for a week then I reached out to him. He would reply instantly but we would not talk for long. Till now if he needs anything he texts me and I do the same. Is there a chance that he will come back into my life?
Elizabeth says
Hi!
A guy and I have known ourselves for 5 years then we stopped talking for a while, during that period, we dated other people. We started talking again January 2018. We’ve been good friends since then and he told me that he had met someone before me but he couldn’t ask her out because he’s in love with me. He also told her he loves me but the girl is still hanging around him. We’ve had a couple of fights about her and we had a huge fight on Saturday (I said some unkind words to him) and he said there’s nothing between them and the girl even noticed he loves me. As at Sunday, he has started calling me and acting all caring since then. I’ve told him to move on countless times but he never listens. I blocked and deleted me on my social media platforms when i was hurting and i was trying to move on but he was just really miserable and keep sending his friends to beg me to talk to him. I’m really confused about all of these and I don’t know what to do. What do you think I should do?
Kate says
You can ask him if he could distance himself from the other girl or at least make her understand that he doesn’t have any feelings for her.
Riya says
I’ve been in a relationship for one year with a very distant silent standoffish guy, he’s been like this since the beginning of our relationship, everytime we speak about this he says “it’s my personality I can’t help it”..he was very busy with his work and to be honest I don’t know if he has been really or just saying this to not see me…four days ago he just pulled away, I tried to text him 3 times called him 2 times apparently he’s ignoring me… What should I do ? He knows that I love him and told me recently that my love makes him happy 🙁 I really miss him it’s been only 4 days but it feels like hell 🙁
Cheri-Kei says
Maybe he’s going through something. Anxiety or Depression. Don’t just jump to conclusions. I pull away from the people that I love all the time.
Amujal Brenda says
I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and ahalf.we have fought and quarrelled many times but get back together afterwards.now some guy who has acrush on me sent msgs and he read them. He got pissed and told me it was over. I went to his place to talk to him but he wasn’t giving me much attention saying he was sleepy but I just couldn’t wait to talk to him. We argued until it became afight. He bit my hand and ran away. I went to my place and at around 6:00am I came back to his place and I asked for money for treatment and he gave me after he I asked him kindly wether I could wait for him at his place but he said no. He went to the brothers place and came back then got me on his bed. He kept quiet and just picked his jacket and left me in his room. Am still at his place right now I feel I can’t leave him. I love him. Do you think he will come back?? Do you think he is just angry but will come back??
Laura says
I had an issue with my boyfriend I was wrong I apologized to him,he refused taking my calls but Later returned my messages after a while.even asked him if he wanted a break or breakup cus at first he wasn’t ready to talk to me,he refused answering it.after a week a only calls if he needs me to do one or two for him.but doesn’t call to talk about the silence this is 2weeks now.am confuse
Sara says
Hi, Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years. and 1 year we were separated. the second time around I moved from Florida to California for him. we’ve been great and have a lot of growth. our recent fight he broke up with me and told me he was going to propose to me but isn’t now. he broke up with me because I have been lying about something that happened in the past and he found out the truth. I hooked up with someone he knew. but when I did, it had been over a year that we spoke. he was in Cali and I was in Florida. I love him and he’s my best friend. I understand he’s hurt. but is there any hope he’ll come around?
Ei Yamin says
I made a mistake and from that day, my boyfriend’s given up on me. I want him bad so bad. What do I do?
Deedee says
I’m in the same space I messed things up 3 days ago now I cant get in contact with him to tell him how sorry I am. He said he will still be there and help with the kids but I was too angry to accept that I needed to clear my head and now I see I was so wrong. But it might be to late for me because I think I messed with his mental by telling him to get out knowing he had nowhere else to go but I really want him home
Kerri says
My fiancé left me three weeks ago. His explanation is that we are different people. (What two people are the same?)
He said he loves me multiple times, he has ended two engagements before me (over a 10 year period) .. I asked him to give us another chance, I wrote him a letter, and I made him a book online, all the things I love about him. He took the book when I handed it to him but said he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. He says I’m beautiful and I am a great catch but that he has no desire to be together. He bonded really well with my son who is 5.
He said we couldn’t be friends because the emotions would drag on, and he did not want to lead me on with hope for the future.
I’m so confused as to why he asked me to marry him, stayed with me for 2.5 years, still says he loves me, but all of a sudden can leave and not even talk to me.
Will he ever come back?
He is the love of my life.
Deedee says
Me and my boyfriend was together for 2 years I had a miscarriage and we was planning to try again. I have been fight my pass issues with my childhood that just came about now and is crushing me. I started an argument with him because of my personal issues and we had a screaming match I told him I didn’t want him at the house anymore so he left with all his things. I know I was the cause of this breakup and idk if he will come back this time I know he loves me but I think he wants space to clear his head from the hurt I caused but I did enroll for counseling to help with my issues but I have no way to contact him to tell him how I feel we work together but the last time we spoke 2 days ago he said he will quit because he don’t want to make it awkward for me so is it really over it only been 3 days but he hasn’t contacted me for the last 2 days?
Stéphania Alexandrer says
Hi
Me and my ex have been together for about 1 year and a half, we are still very young and this is our last year in high school, we broke up about 1 month ago. These last 6 months have been horrible, we continue to fight, we do not understand each other, he told me he was tired but when I asked him if we had to break up but he respond me that no he still loved me. So he propose a break but I refused, 2 days later he broke with me by message. I took it as a huge disrespect, I told him said that I accepted his decision the next day face to face and that I wished him the best but that I did not want to be his friend. Subsequently he seemed sad. He said when I ask him about his feeling for me that He doesn’t think he love me anymore, he think he love our memories together only. The days went on he was getting better and better, he is enjoying his friends and the class but he is very naive. He has fun with other girls in front of my eyes but know that some girl were flirting with him,take advantage of his euphoria and like hug him randomly. It has annoys him after he realize, mutuals friend haved told him to be careful, still he don’t see people true intentions. Today the signs that he does not want me are more present, I do not see anything by looking him in the eyes, when we are alone it is very embarrassing, he ignores me is distant, it’s being a while that I am not his priority anymore. Although he knows that I am not going well and I know he wants to enjoy his youth I understand that. At the end of our relationship he still like force himself I felt like, chase after me when I couldn’t wait for him, i was already abandoning, I couldn’t belive him when he told me I love you.I feel betrayed and lost because I still miss him, i remember when he used to tell me he will always loves me. And yet he has accept that we are friends after that I haved change my mind for fear of losing a good person in my life but nothing we can’t be around each others it’s too awkward for me. I feel guilty for making him suffer, for having extinguished his feelings when I was his first girlfriend it should have been better. I do not necessarily want to go back with him, signs are negative, we are certainly not made for each other but I would like so much to forgive before leaving.
We have a party next week for a friend birthday but I feel like it’s going to be painful for me even if i try my best to just have fun.
I saw stuff in other blogs about get him back and all but truly you are the only one article that help me with true honesty about the facts to move on even if i’m still confuse, so thank you so much.
Alexander says
My husband constantly manipulating for years and destoryed our beautifull love , as he used to called it when talking about our love . He hurt me so much on purpose .I was truly , honestly in love with him. I do not want to know if he comes back or not cause his absence has been sooo loong , He cut every connection , I just want to know if he is ok. and happy now .
AKC says
Hi, I’ve been in my relationship for 18 months. In December, my boyfriend was confused and was scared of the future. Last week, he was upset and confused again and wasn’t sure if we should break up, but then next minute said should we keep going. Our relationship was nothing but amazing and never any problems or fighting. He is an over thinker and kept saying how do you know you’re the one and I want to travel but that would mean I have to marry you (religious beliefs). He said I’m his best friend and the best person he’s ever met and can’t imagine his life without me. But we sorted it out and then the next day I mentioned travelling and he went funny again, we ended things because he said he didn’t want to hurt me in the future and wasn’t sure if he wanted to go traveling with me or by himself at the end of next year. I then received a message on the Monday night saying, “I’m so sorry for the pain I’ve put you through. I felt physically ill all day and can barely keep myself together. You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met. I know if I say anything more I’m not going to make much sense and add to the confusion. I’m so so sorry”. I wasn’t going to reply and give him space but someone messaged me so I replied with “Thanks for the apology! Doing it tough too, but it is what is and hope you have less confusion. I received a message from someone today and not sure what has been said. Could you please let me know what they have been told, so there is no added confusion?”. He then replied with “I know it’s been a killer week and I’m sorry I can’t offer any consolation. I’ve only spoken to two or three people about it and I said we’ve called it off… As much as I would love to say otherwise, I know it’s the right call at the moment. You’re the best person I’ve ever met, but I’m just in such a strange headspace and I’m just not stepping up to the mark. This is something I have to figure out for myself right now”. I need some outside perspective on what his motives are and whether he is coming back or not?
Arleth says
I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years and 2 months. Ever since the beginning, he was the one who asked me out and was the one who was too attached to me. I wasn’t feeling the relationship towards the beginning, but over time , my feelings for him became more than what I had expected. Over time, I began to get too attached to him. I craved his presence because I felt like For once, I had found the one. A year past our relationship , I lost my Virginity to him. I knew He was the one and he truly respected me with all matters. He waited for me to make the decision and never pressured me. Things began to collapse, however, we began to have constant arguments. (More so because We both did things that hurt us both) we apologized for our mistakes , but every time we’d get into an argument he’d bring up the past. He went away for 2 weeks on vacation to try to have a “break” away from me. At first it was all ok, but after a few days I’d ask him something and he just told me he was tired of me. I begged Him and he said he just needed a break from me. I dont Know what I did wrong. He blocked me from all social medias. Is that he still loves me but he just needs time away for himself? It’s hard to not text him when I really do love him.
aleena says
so my boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago because he said he wasn’t happy anymore but we’re 15&16 and the last time we saw each other was on our 1 year which was 12/14/19 and it went good. i wanted to see him but we both had some plans but i wanted him to reach out to me and ask me to see him if he really wanted to. he didn’t. we had been scared we were pregnant since our one year and i thought that that was why he was being distant and acting a little weird. i wanted to give him as much space as he needed without making him feel unloved but he would ask for space some times and i would always ask what’s wrong but he’d always say the pregnancy. i told him i’d stop asking because he was getting annoyed but by 12/30/19 he broke up with me because he said we were unhappy. i didn’t understand and we were on our Winter break from school so i thought it’d all be ok again when we went back January 6. He told me that a friend was telling him that if were unhappy he should leave me to find true love if he truly wants me to be happy. thing is i can’t live without him and he keeps saying it’s for the best but he doesn’t know i wasn’t unhappy. i was perfectly happy and i asked him if he was ever coming back and he said no that he can’t because things won’t be the same and he thinks he’s doing the right thing. he is everything to me because he knows me better than anyone. i had let go of him for less than 24 hours multiple times because of stupid fights but always came back. i stopped doing that but he let go once in november (29) and came back 24 hours later. it’s been 2 days almost 3 in 9 minutes and all i want is him back because i want to fix this. i just need help figuring out if he wants to fix it. i don’t wanna beg him i just really can’t live without him. i’m hoping he comes back please help me
Liz says
It’s probably a bit late for this but my boyfriend sent me a text saying that he thinks it’s best if he continues on this path by himself. The day before that we had an awkward moment where he called to ask how I am and things took a turn for the worst when he told me about how angry he was at his boss and how he wanted to quit. I asked where he will get his income and all hell broke loose. He dumped me and refuses to talk to me because apparently I am disrespectful. He also blocked me on WhatsApp. I love him with all my heart but he refuses to take my call. What can I do?
Linda says
My boyfriend of 7months just broke up with me 6days ago..he said i don’t know when to stop,like if we are having an argument and he says he doesn’t wanna talk about it anymore,I always push and push,then he said he can’t take it anymore,that his ex wife was like that and it was toxic for him..so he broke up with me,I cried and pleaded with him to reconsider for a few days but he said ,it’s over and he is not going to change his mind..I just started NC today,I love him genuinely and i know he loves me too..Do you think he will come back