“We can still be friends.” That is one of the hardest things to hear after someone has broken up with you, and in the moment it can be very hard to respond to, especially if you don’t want to be friends, and you want to be back in a relationship, having sex and having fun, and doing much more than what friends do together.
If she is saying, “We can still be friends,” then your chances of winning her back are very slim.
The thing to remember is that if you are hearing ‘we can still be friends’, then the woman breaking up with you is saying this for a reason that pertains to herself. She is hoping that you will still be friends, but that doesn’t mean that you have to want to be friends, and it doesn’t mean she won’t let you go from her life.
Why A Woman Will Give You The Friend Line
There are two main reasons a woman will say this:
1. If a woman does not want to be in a relationship with you anymore, but does not want to lose you from her life, she will give you this line. She has decided that, romantically, things are not working out, but she loves you as a person and she can’t bear the thought of losing you from her life.
2. She has tried breaking up with you before but you will not let it happen. She doesn’t want to lose you either, so she has decided to give you an option where she is still in your life, just not in a romantic way. It lets you know that she is serious about not being together romantically anymore and, she hopes, makes it easier for you to let go of her in that way.
The Good And Bad To Hearing The Friend Line
The positive of hearing ‘we can still be friends’ is that you are not going to lose her from your life – if you don’t want to. You get to decide if you want to be friends with her or not. In short, you have all the power to determine where your relationship will go with her and whether you want to continue a friend type of relationship with her.
The negative of hearing this line is that you have almost zero chances of winning her back. If she views you as a friend after you have dated, then getting out of the friend zone is not going to be easy. She already tried to have a romantic relationship with you and it didn’t work. She will remember that as you try to win her back. Moreover, if she has lost that romantic feeling towards you, then her attraction and desire has dwindled, and that does not work in your favor – AT ALL!
Why You May Want To Skip The Friend Part And Take A Break
Even if you want to be friends with her, it is a good idea to take a break from her. It is going to be very hard to watch her move on with her life. She will be in a completely different state of mind than you are (she has already decided you are only friends), and you will feel anger, sadness, jealousy, etc.
You will have a hard time moving on with your life as you deal with these negative emotions. It is better to put some space in between the two of you, allow your emotions to cool off, start moving forward to a future without her, and THEN add her back into your life as a friend – if you want to.
The thing to remember is that it is not her choice. She gave you the option to still be friends, but if you can’t handle the thought of that, then the healthier option is to take a break. The chances of winning her back are very, very slim anyways, and your happiness and health should be your number one focus at this point.
Will She Want Me Back If We Take A Break?
Ironically, your best chance at getting her back into your life would be to take a break and put distance between the two of you. Giving her distance from you may help her realize what a great guy you are and how much you mean to her.
I don’t say this so that you can take a break and sit around hoping she will come back to you. There is still a very small chance that this will happen, and you should work on moving forward towards a life without her as a romantic partner when you take a break. I just want you to know that there is a possibility it could happen.
If she does happen to come back to you, and you want her back, then great! But you never know – as you move forward you may realize that breaking up with her was a good thing for YOU and your happiness.
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Samuel Thompson says
hello, i called this lady I thought we are together on Saturday after all
the conversation she said we need to talk so she schedule time for that so
i called her on Sunday and she asked me that what is between both of us as
in like friends, so i told her that i can not answer that because i once
asked her and her reply was she can not guarantee me answer so she said
okay that she want to answer now so she said let still be friends. i okay
that and she further some questions about my family i answered all then i
said maybe i will call you later on but i notice that whenever we are on
call and whenever i say i will call you later on she will just mute.
because the mute attitude and i don’t know what she was expecting me to say
i sent her a text saying ” pardon all my answers, i know i didn’t say
anything before i agreed. I felt like i got u confuse at some point, am
never tired of you. The truth is dat sweetie i’ve enough friends. And God
knows i could never look at you and see you as just a friend. i delayed dx
cux i don’t want it confusing” i don’t know what she was expecting me to
say and unknowingly i called a male friend of mine in the evening he said
am i d person calling her at the time i called i said yes, he said i
thought as much i said ok so he said what was i telling her that she was
just laughing. i said just discussing. So please Labi, educate me on what
next to do. Thankyou
Steve says
This just happened to me yesterday. She bought a new dress “in case” she ever went out on a date knowing all well and good that she had plans last evening. We were friends for 15 years, and for the most part, we were always up front and honest with each other. She told me she met someone and they were hitting it off. After the conversation ended, I got angry and I texted her I thought I should say goodbye because I’m miserable. That’s when she used the line that we can still be friends. I told her I would like that, but now I just don’t know. I’m miserable and I cannot stand the thought of her being intimate with another man. I still love her. I don’t know what to do. Dear God help me. Steve