If you can’t get a girlfriend, then I’m willing to bet that you have a short or long list of reasons why. For example, you may tell yourself that you are too short, fat, socially anxious, nice, or bald. All of these reasons may actually be a fact of life for you (right now), but they don’t have to hold you back from getting a girlfriend for life. Let’s talk about these excuses and how you can overcome them.
1. Can’t Get a Girlfriend Because I’m Short
If you are short, you can have a hard time getting a girlfriend. There is no doubt that the socially accepted norm is that women are shorter than their men.
Many women fear what others will think when they are taller than a man. Why? Because those women are superficial.
Worse, short men are often judged harshly on their height alone and not viewed to be as manly or capable as their taller peers. Of course, that is complete bullshit, but it is something that happens nonetheless.
So what can you do…besides getting surgery to extend your limbs to increase your height? Yes, you can do that. Watch what extending limbs entails in the following video…the height issue starts around the 3:00 mark.
More ABC US news | ABC Health News
Yikes! Would you really want to go through that just to get a girlfriend?
If you don’t want to go through the pain of this surgery, and you don’t want to spend the money, then you have accept your height and move forward; otherwise, you will spend your life hating yourself and pushing away women.
When you hate your height, it shows. When you feel unworthy, it shows. And, the way you feel about yourself rubs off on other people.
The only way to build up your self-worth is to talk to yourself differently. For instance,
- There are women out there who are shorter than I am
- Some women like short men
- There are plenty of happy couples where the man is shorter than the woman (Jerry Stiller and Ann Meara comes to mind!)
- I have so much more going on than just my height
As long as you tell yourself that your height is an issue, you will never believe otherwise and you will continue to push away women.
2. Can’t Get A Girlfriend Because I’m Fat
It is true! Some women will not date you because you are fat. It is also true that those are not the right women for you anywase!
I can’t tell you how many fat guys I know that have girlfriends. And, some of those guys have gorgeous girlfriends. Seriously, one of my friends who was sought after by SO MANY men is now married to a HUGE guy. Granted, he is a fat guy who has a lot going on for him. (He owns his own business, is frickin’ hilarious, has confidence, and is an overall nice guy.)
Some fat guys I know have smart, funny, and pretty girlfriends. My point? Fat guys can get girlfriends!
I’m not going to sugar-coat this one. If you hate your weight, and you feel as though it stands in the way of getting the girl you want, then you have to lose weight. There is no way around it. If you don’t, you will forever be fat and complaining about it.
Now, I’ve always said that you can still win over a girl if you have the right attitude. The following video backs up that theory.
The women in the video thought they were coming to meet a normal sized guy, but instead they end up meeting a fat guy. According to someone in the comments, this guy is a European pick-up artist. You can tell he has confidence and some game – so watch how the women react to that.
Point? If you have the confidence, then you have a good shot of picking up women no matter what you look like.
3. Can’t Get A Girlfriend Because I Have Social Anxiety
Worried about how other people view you? Hate interacting with other people? If yes, then you are probably going to have a hard time getting a girlfriend. There is no surprise there.
First, I want you to know that you are not alone. According to the Social Anxiety Institute, millions of people suffer from this. In fact, they say it is the third largest mental health care problem.
The good news is that it can be overcome.
The bad news is that you have to put yourself out there in order to overcome it!
You have to get out and seek the help and avenues that will help you banish social anxiety and start interacting with women on a level that gains their attraction and interest.
Scared? I wouldn’t doubt it. But, is finding a girlfriend enough motivation? If you are still reading this page, then I would have to say yes.
Always remember your desire to find a girlfriend as you go out and seek help to overcome your social anxiety. Hold the image of being happy and in a relationship in your head. That goal will help you keep moving forward.
I love this guy’s video on social anxiety. This is really something to consider if you feel this is a problem for you. He gives 3 great tips to overcome your social anxiety.
4. Can’t Get A Girlfriend Because I’m Too Nice
Bullshit.
Sorry, but there is no such thing as too nice.
Women want a nice guy.
Women do not want jerks!
Stop being jerks!
The problem is NOT that you are too nice, it is that you don’t have confidence or a sense of humor or a masculine attitude or intelligence or something else.
Maybe you smell bad.
Maybe your haircut is ridiculous.
Maybe your self-esteem is really, REALLY low.
I have no idea! But, I do know that being nice is NOT the problem.
You only end up in the ‘friend zone‘ when you don’t display common traits that women like, or when you display traits that turn women off.
Figure out what is really turning women off and fix that. Don’t become a jerk. It will just cause more problems in the long run.
5. Can’t Get A Girlfriend Because I’m Bald
Lastly, this seems to be a huge complaint among men who can’t get a girlfriend. They think their lack of hair (or thinning hair) is causing their problem.
Again, some women may not be attracted to a bald guy, but being bald is not going to cause you to not get a girlfriend in the long run.
There are plenty of bald men with girlfriends. In fact, there are plenty of bald men that are sex symbols.
This is a self-esteem issue, not a bald issue. If you feel like you are not good enough because you are bald, then that attitude is going to influence how women view you, and yes – you probably will have a hard time getting women.
In the above video, he says that being bald is a sign of maturity, and I couldn’t agree more! So, stop worrying about your head of hair (or lack of it!)
Do you believe you can’t get a girlfriend for another reason than listed here? Please, leave a comment and let me know what it is.
Nolan says
I apologies for the rant but if you read it thanks!
I’ve only had one girlfriend and she left me while I was in Afghanistan (dick move on her end). I’m nice, I’m polite, I don’t bother anybody, I’m masculine as all can be (Masculinity includes: having a beard, chops wood for fireplace, loves firearms, hunts, fish, tough as leather, stong as a ox (got the name kornbread from my Army buddies because of it), gives very mean and strong handshakes, but be as gentle as a deer with its fawn) I can be meaner than a mama bear with cubs when I need to be, . I had that first girlfriend at 19…..19 freaking years old and haven’t had another one since, I’m 22 now. It gets me mad that I see all these relationships and I can’t help but wonder is it me? It sounds unconfident asking that but God what do I have to do to get a girl to date me? Kidnap her? Thats a joke….anyways, I just don’t understand and I’m seeing dick wads have girls and I know they are either full of drama crap that I can’t stand, are complete jerks or both. I mean come the hell on. I can be as sweet as molasses and everything I mentioned above but I can’t get a single date. I’m not fat either! Or ugly! I’ve talked to girls and everything, but maybe I’m too stupid to realize they like me or something. Geez, I even stayed under the same house with a single girl while I was staying with a buddy of mine from the Army and still couldn’t get a date (it was my buddies sister). Truly that did kind of hurt me a little because I bet if it was anyone else they could’ve been on a date and put in her butt the same day lol. She turned out to be a snob anyways who has way to high of expectations and I hate talking bad about a woman but in all honesty, she was a bitch ever since I found out she was like that, she was real pretty too. She looked ugly afterwards because that personality is something I don’t put up with.
I just don’t get it. I dress nice, I’ll wear my shirt tucked in some days and others not, I have that barrel chest that makes it look good with a waist that’s a little smaller than my shoulders. I stand up for people and I listen to people. A shoulder to lean on you could say. I’m not perfect by no means but they say God has a plan and I hope that plan makes up for all this loneliness and heart ache I’ve endured so long cause buddy i tell you what, it’s getting old.
Well parents say I need to smile more…but it’s hard to. I don’t smile if there isn’t nothing to smile about lol or if I don’t wanna smile. Public places I think I do okay in. I just keep a straight face and I’ll smile here and there if I see or think of something funny. I say yes ma’am no ma’am to all ladies.
Again I just don’t get it, I act the way my mama and daddy taught me and the military, respect others and myself.
When I was younger I used to be fat and I couldn’t get a girlfriend to save my life but my brother could. I guess that’s why I hated highschool because I couldn’t find a single bit of love or romance and got rejected so many times that it just absolutely crushed me to the point I would cry at nights so often I could swim in my tears. It really hurt my confidence so bad, but I always just told myself to look at the relationships and see how immature they acted and how irresponsible they were with each others trust. That only helps for so long. Thenjoy I finally got a girlfriend because she struck me a certain way that I felt different about so asked her out and we started dating and I thought 18 or 19 years of my life waiting for this girl was worth it, but was too good to be true. That cut my confidence even more when she left me while I was in Afghanistan and she was in college. Then my friend that was like a brother was shot, and my grandpa died…so yeah when she left me that didn’t help.
So I can’t help but get angry, mad, frustrated, annoyed, beside myself, unhenged, and heated when I have all the qualities a girl looks for and I repeatedly hear that that’s what girls want but not a single girl bothers to give me a chance while they turn around and go date another guy who looks like a freaking straight out BETA MALE, WEAK, JERK OR WHATEVER. AND I’M JUST BEING ME! All those qualities of me that I listed is just ME nothing I felt like I needed to tack on or change, it’s just how I am. I can’t help but truly and honestly say that a lot of women now a days need to seriously go jump off a cliff because what in the world did I do so wrong or what’s so wrong with me that I can’t just get a single date or acknowledgement from anyone that HEY YOUR NOT FREAKING INVISIBLE, YOU LOOK NICE, LIKE YOUR SHIRT, NICE HAIRCUT, NICE PAINTS, NICE CAR, NICE NAME or SOMETHING DAGGUMIT!
Im not jealous (just the good jealous to let her know I love them, care, etc. Not excessive jealous), hygiene is always priority, I dress nice, I USUALLY GIVE GIRLS COMPLIMENTS FOR GOODNESS SAKES! Like today I told a pretty waitress I liked her hair, that it was nice (and I always mean my compliments). Then she says, “kool, thanks” and walks away, then she comes back and smiles at my friend and says I like your shirt with a big smile and then they started talking for a minute.
People have told me to just let it happen, others have said you got to be more assertive. I’ve tried both definitely the “just let it happen” advice for 20 to 21 years dangit. I’ve tried the assertive part where I’m more straight forward with me asking her out on a date or getting her phone number and failed. THERE GOES ANOTHER GUY WHO TRIES IT AND IT WORKS JUST FREAKING FINE!
I have and still am reaching the point of being seriously pissed off that I can’t find some person I can at least just enjoy some time with and have fun. I’ve had to go outside full of rage, because of it, and chop down trees. I guarantee you I don’t have an anger problem because it takes A LOT to get me to that point. I have great patience and understanding but I have to say with this enough is enough. I’m tired of girls saying that like a little bad boy, but that bad chops down trees and other manly stuff and used to kill people for a living in the Army. So excuse me if the only time I want to show my “bad boy” is when my life or anyone’s life is in danger to a threat and I take care of the threat quickly and more than likely, permanently. I have a dark side that only comes out when I see fit.
I dont hang around, look for, or cause trouble. I keep to my own and petty “high school” drama is what I like to stay away from the I know a lot of people, for some reason, are into and keep getting wrapped up in. Always stayed away from that crap.
May sound like I’m greedy but I think after as long as I have been single (almost or 20 years) and seeking relationship, but yeah I think I earned to blow a little steam, fustration, and annoyance at how my heart feels literally hurt from seeing everyone else happy, married, or whatever in relationships and I can’t seem to even touch or come close to knowing how it feels for someone to love me for me, a woman to really love me for me damnit.
Honestly it’s hard to open up to women now because of all what’s happened to me, but I open up anyways to no prevail, even though it hurts I’ve been trying all my life anyways.
I’m done here, sorry for the long message but whatever. If you want to say something then my email me at georgiaminuteman@gmail.com
Again thank you for reading, just needed to blow off steam
admin says
Thanks for sharing. You sound like an awesome guy, and I’m not sure why you are not getting the women, but I do think you are not meeting the right women for you… the kind of woman that is looking for someone like you. That can be a good thing! If you get into a relationship with a girl who blows you off quickly or likes your friend more or doesn’t really want the same thing you want – that would suck more than being single.
Anyway, I’m writing an article for someone else and one of the things I’m talking about is choosing faith over facts. In other words, the facts (and often they are just limiting beliefs that you are holding) that are rolling around in your head may be giving you a bleak picture, but faith can move mountains and create the picture you want. (I think we’ll get an article about that up here too.) Things can always work out different than they have or are working out now, and it can happen in a moment’s notice, so have faith that you will get that woman today or tomorrow or whatever day is the perfect day to get her. Sounds like you are doing that on some level anyway and just needed to let out some steam. This was a great place to do it!
Gagan says
I feel exactly the same and am in a similar position (except you’ve actually had a gf before, I haven’t). I’m so depressed, I don’t know what to do
KMS says
I am in the same boat. Never had a girlfriend. I am told I am ‘hot’, funny, intellectual and many other traits. Bullshit. I must not be if I have never had a girlfriend.
jameshd1101 says
first off don’t be depressed that will repel them away from you especially if you show signs of being depressed
Joe says
Women need a dose of their own medicine get treated the way they treat men see how they like it
The A-Man says
Welcome to the club.
I’m 38 yrs old and I’ve given up on trying to find a girlfriend.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just no good at it.
It’s not like I haven’t tried. I’ve worked at it, worked at my social skills, getting better with women, and Lord knows how far I’ve come. But all I have to show for it is one measly date and a bunch of rejections and a bunch of noncommittal answers.
I don’t get it…I dress well, run my own business, have my own house, drive a nice car, I have a lot of hobbies, I can make people laugh. I tease, I flirt. And yet I’ve come up empty.
I never know whether a girl’s actually flirting and interested or flirting and just being friendly.
I’ve take action and it still doesn’t work. I know women are waiting to be asked out, which is why I try to initiate. But I’ve gotten nothing. Most women keep saying that they’re wishing for someone to come along, yet if someone does, they don’t like him. That seems to be the case with me at least; I go up to them and I guess they just don’t like me “like that”, because then they just start flirting with other men, trying to get their attention. Maybe it’s not as easy as some people make it out to be. It’s constantly weighing on my mind…it’s a nightmare I can’t get away from.
Day the day, it seems easier and easier for other people and harder and harder for me. AND I JUST DON’T GET IT. It seems like there isn’t always someone for everyone, which explains the multitudes of middle-aged single people. That’s just life. Some people meet and others don’t and I guess I’m in the second category.
It’s got to the point where I’m thinking of just being cold and horrible to every woman I meet since it doesn’t make a difference in the end anyway. At least that way I protect myself.
Darius says
Some of you pathetic people really piss me off. Bloody hell. The solution is too simple. Just get off your ass and travel to another country, a non-English speaking one and you’ll see whatever people tell you to do to get a girlfriend is pure bloody BS. Lot’s of girls overseas and most would dig you. Why the hell are you wasting your life in a place where there are few girls? There are bloody millions overseas who would give their life for a guy like you. World is not just the town you live in you fool. Unless you think you’re superior to the girls overseas you idiot!
Paul Barnes says
You speak the truth well said.
Hans Olo says
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice.
C American Con says
Yes, until your bank account runs low…..lol
Nishi says
Bwahahahahahaaaa….you’re a loser. All you old, fat, white bald dudes roaming Asia, you’re LOSERS.
asdf says
The 3rd point blatantly shows how little you understand of social anxiety, which overall kind of ruins the article. Nice try, but you are the wrong one here.
Michael Plemmons says
I agree. I have social anxiety and social awkwardness. I’m 34 and only had 1 girlfriend ever. I find it hard to talk to people in general (guys and girls, especially girls). I have 2 friends in my whole life. When I do get the nerve to talk to someone, I never know what to say. It doesn’t get beyond “Hi” before they’re bored and think of an excuse to walk away. I’m not bald or fat (actually kind of skinny), I just have social disorders. I’ve tried online dating as a way to break the ice for initial contact, but no girl has responded to my first messages
jameshd1101 says
So what do I do if literally none of this applies to me and that I’ve been doing everything that everything says I should do since I was born all videos that say what a girl likes in a guy I’m all of them and everything a girl hates in a guy I’m not and they still say the reason why is I’m too nice when I have a sense of humor and confidence and everything else and all the stuff that does turn women off I don’t do and I’m just stuck in a loop hole?
Nishi says
If you’re fat, stop chasing really hot women. Either lose weight and get in shape or date your own fat kind. It’s pathetic how fat guys whine and cry about how women won’t date them because they’re fat, but then they don’t want to date fat women.
Iain says
I’m 37 and have never had a girlfriend or sex – or even been kissed. I’m not the kind of guy who’s willing to pay for it – which is the only way I could ever have any form of physical intimacy. No woman could ever want me, so I never ask women out because rejection – at a bare minimum is always guaranteed – if not worse.
Please don’t tell me that dating is a numbers game, to gain confidence, or to put myself out there and get rejected 10 thousand times. There is zero chance any woman could be sexually attracted to me, so there is no point in doing anything but finding ways to diminish the pain of permanent loneliness.
Robert says
I will tell you that, because it’s true. If you want to get a girl, you need to ask her out and escalate. You have no clue what a woman would say before you try, so don’t be a whiny moron.
The Unfortunate Truth says
LOL. And God forbid if many of us good single men were able to meet a real good normal woman for a change.
Eph says
This topic is so interesting and I’ve been reading almost all the comments. The truth is that you people here have said everything and for those driving this pain, just accept what you endure and it’s part of the life. What will be good for you to heal yourself is to then focus on something else and don’t care about girls. Stop then thinking that they are everything you must absolutely have. And if you want to date them or to meet them further, don’t be serious.
For those who are thinking that it’s just so easy to have a girl friend for everyone, it also clear that, they are just too simple in their thought for this world is too complex. At any situation, there’s always the opposite: ” The Yes goes with the No”. So if there are some people who are born to be rich from the childhood until the death, there are some other who will never be at their ease even if the work more than any one. That’s the life and it’s verified, all our fingers aren’t looking the same. You won’t change your whole personality just to satisfy someone else, what will you then become or remain after that?
There is no measure unit for sentiments, we are all different and are built to complete ourselves with others. Bad people don’t exist, for there will always be someone somewhere that loves what you hate on you.
Finally, what I also know is that, there’s always one day on earth where even a blind can see just once and must rejoice deeply the day that this appears to him.
Young men, be faithful, not for other people’s life, but for yours. A leader is someone who always attract people. So this is an interesting way to capture your future prey, I know that I say as an audio and video (Film) producer. The more you gather people around you, the more you can be appreciated, there’s no fail in this.
Good luck!
Will says
“Figure out what is really turning women off and fix that.” Really? It’s that simple is it? This is an insulting and immensely demeaning statement. Some of us are simply unattractive to women in ways that cannot be fixed. There is nothing that can be done to stop the loneliness, misery and regular sense that the only thing left is to do is to end it all when the pain of watching other guys get what you want – and knowing that NO woman would ever be with you for you – becomes too great. Don’t tell me to put myself out there and try – there is no point because no woman will ever even notice me. Don’t tell me to see a counsellor / therapist – I’ve tried several and all have been useless.