When you are looking to capture the attention of a girl, it’s critically important that you know what good questions to ask a girl. This can actually be the make or break of something spectacular or crappy. How you portray yourself out of the starting gates is what this girl is going to remember.
The first impression means everything. Doesn’t matter whether it’s with your fingers via messaging, on the phone, or better yet face to face. Make sure you’ve got the questions in your head that are going to capture her undivided attention and give you the information you need to qualify her.
Looks aren’t everything and sometimes by asking the right questions you might see something really cool in a girl you might never have given a second thought about. Just something to think about.
Your questions need to appear considerate but not like a firing squad. If you overwhelm a girl with stressful questions, you will leave a bad taste in her mouth. So stick with the open ending genuinely interesting ones to get her comfortable, and you’re on the right track.
On the flip side…there are certain questions you just don’t want to put out there when you’re trying to impress that special girl. The questions that will turn her off and send her running fast the other way.
By understanding how to ask thoughtful and meaningful questions and avoid the dumb ones, you’ll have no issues capturing the attention of a girl and the rest is up to you.
Good Questions To Ask a Girl To Break The Ice
1. What do you enjoy doing most in your free time?
This is a great question because it gives her the ability to do some free-thinking. This takes the pressure off because she gets to pick the focus. Psychology Today reports one of the keys to avoiding stressful pressure is to give someone the ability to choose what they want to talk about. So you don’t corner them and make them feel uncomfortable.
You want to get her into the zone of opening up a little to let you in on a few things she loves doing. Maybe she likes to shop or play soccer, things you like to do too. What you are looking to establish is some common interests that can take the conversation a little deeper.
You may also find out you really have nothing in common and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just information that gives you the ability to figure out whether or not you want to pursue this girl any further.
Information is knowledge…
2. What’s the worst thing about dating?
I know this breaks the rule about asking positive questions but it’s for good reason. The purpose of this question is to lighten the atmosphere and talk a little about the stressful times of dating. Hopefully she’ll open up and tell you about an incident where maybe a date went totally wrong.
You want her to smile and share funny things that have happened to her when she’s dated and maybe even show you some of her vulnerable parts while doing so. It’s not about prying, but voluntarily giving you information without pressure that might help you figure out her tolerances and preferences better.
Maybe you’ll find out she really starts to get nervous if the date is late. So you can make a mental note to make sure you are never late. You can see where I’m going with this.
Keep it light and open and use this question to help you figure it all out faster.
3. Are your parents still together?
This is a loaded question but it goes a long way in giving you a base perspective on what she is looking for in a relationship. If her parents are happy in love then you’re off to a good start. This means she knows what it’s like to have a healthy relationship. Seeing is believing.
Keep in mind this doesn’t mean that if she comes from a single parent household or was adopted, that you should run. Listen to what she has to say and you should get a pretty good idea of her perspective on relationships just from her comments. You’re looking for the positive spin and her vision of what she wants.
Most of that will come out with a questions like this.
4. Who do you get along with best in your family?
This will tell you right away whether or not you should continue with the family questions or not. You may receive a dismissive answer if her family relations aren’t positive. Or you may learn a little more about her family upbringing if she has a sister or brother that she clicks with and why.
Depending on how she responds, you will be able to keep the conversation going with your family connections. The only time you might want to steer clear of this question is if you have negative thoughts about your family. It’s important to be very careful of questions that may unleash emotion in a negative manner. Logic and emotion don’t mix according to WebMD.
Which means your emotions will take over when they’re tapped and you don’t want to chance that when you are trying to make a good impression on a girl.
5. What’s your passion?
This will get her to hopefully light up with excitement. Put her in the zone that lets you into a little bit of her happiness. Maybe she is passionate about running or cooking. It really doesn’t matter. The point is you get to see a little of what makes her tick. This can open the door to so much more.
This type of question is open-ended so you’ll be able to take it as far as you like. When you can learn a little about hopes and dreams you can really get a good sense of what this girl is all about.
Be ready to divulge what makes you excited too. Be curious and genuine in your approach so she sees and appreciates it.
6. What’s the best part about your work?
It’s important to be somewhat specific with your questions because if they are too broad it makes them difficult to answer. Or it appears like you really didn’t put very much thought into the question because it’s so broad.
You could also ask this question another way by asking what she does for a living. Of course if you know she’s in school you won’t ask her that. But you could ask what she likes most about school or what kind of study she is really interested in.
You’re also exploring her personal values through what she says and how she responds. With this question, you can just keep asking questions if it’s going well, or you can move onto the next. The choice is yours.
7. What was your favorite childhood memory?
This is an awesome question because it’s just an excellent way to get to know someone. This is where you can get down to the root of the person and just listen and observe. If they happened to have a troubled childhood, their reflection may not be so positive. An indication of the overall ability this person has to relate.
Are they the type of girl that sees the glass as half-full or half-empty?
What type of girl do you want to let in?
Be wary this can be a make or break question depending on the experiences of the girl you are keen on.
8. What made you decide what type of career you wanted?
This question may be asked a little differently depending on whether she has a career or is still in school figuring it out. If she is still in school she probably has a pretty good idea of what she wants to do, so you can still ask her the question.
Choosing what you’d like to do as a career is a big decision. Which means you are going to learn a lot by how she responds. This question will help her also reaffirm to herself why she’s doing what she’s doing. It’s nice to dream but a little realism also need to come into play.
9. How did you two meet?
This is a great question if you approach a group of girls and what to strike up a conversation. You’ll naturally insert yourself into the conversation even if your focus is on one particular girl. We all know that girls like to talk and this will give you a great opportunity to learn some background stuff you may not have stumbled across before.
Make sure you keep control of the situation through. It’s okay to be an audience member listening but don’t let yourself get pushed off to the side. Remember, you’re looking to be part of the conversation with a purpose, not the garnish sitting on the side of the plate.
10. What’s the neatest thing you’ve ever done in the city?
This is an excellent question that’s going to give you a good indication what this girl thinks about the place she lives. Is she up to date on the current happenings or doesn’t she really care? This will also give you an excellent opportunity to fish for date ideas.
A girl does like it when guys think outside the box, that’s impressive.
Make note that secret attractions are often closely guarded. If she’s willing to let you in on a few then you’re on the right track.
11. What has been your favorite place to travel?
It’s always good to ask this question in a fairly straight forward manner because she may not really like to travel. But that’s not to say she hasn’t got a favorite place she’s travelled to. And it doesn’t really matter where that place is, just that she is expressive and gives you the reasons around her choice. You can read off this and get a heck of a lot of information to expand upon or just get a better idea of how much world experience this girl has.
Perhaps you’ll even discover a mutual passion?
12. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
This isn’t meant to make a girl feel self-conscious or bad about herself. What it does is give you a good view of how confident she is and if she has any major serious issues with herself.
If she takes this question offensively, you instantly know you’ve likely got an emotional basket case on your hands. On the other hand, if she tells you she’s really happy with herself but would like to be a little less stubborn, then you’re on the right track. An objective girl that’s looks at things with a positive but realistic mindset.
13. How much sleep do you need?
This may seem like a bit of a weird question at first but it’s really quite clever. When you ask a girl about her sleep she’ll quickly tell you if she has trouble sleeping or what sort of healthy or bad habits she has. This is important information not only if you decide to get serious, but also in overall health and wellness.
If for instance you need your sleep and your girlfriend doesn’t, this could certainly create trouble over time. Just something to think about.
14. If I cooked you dinner what would you order?
Here’s another light and informative question that will give you the power to better understand what food she likes and also what she thinks about you making dinner for her. Is she open and excited or negative in her response?
This will also put you in a positive light because it really is a kind gesture to suggest making her dinner.
Questions You Better Not Ask A Girl If You Really Want To Date Her
1. When was the last time you slept with someone?
Sure you might be curious if this girl you have your eye on has quick potential in the bedroom or not. But asking that question is liable to get you smacked!
This sort of question should never surface until well after you’ve established your connection, according to Go Beyond Dating.
2. How many guys have you slept with?
This is another no-no question you should never ask a girl. It’s extremely personal and suggestive. For guys this is the rite of passage for bragging. But for girls it doesn’t quite work that way.
What do you think she’s going to say anyway? None? Not likely. Remember, these days’ teenagers are losing their virginity a heck of a lot younger than even 20 years ago, or so it seems. Which means it’s very likely a girl is going to give you the answer you want to hear – none.
Leave this question for a more intimate discussion if you make that initial connection. And even then you are treading on thin ice with it.
3. Do you want to know what my ex did one time?
OMG! You are freakin crazy if you are trying to impress a girl and strike up the conversation with an ex. That’s a no-no because it’s not classy and it’s a negative no matter how you spin it. Why would a girl you are interested in that may be interested in you, want to know about someone you were intimate with?
She wouldn’t! At least according to relationship experts.
Just pretend we didn’t even talk about this question.
4. Do you want to split the bill?
Here’s another deal breaker for many. If you are looking to impress a chick, you do not want to assume she’s going to want to split the bill. Always act like the gentleman you are and pay for the bill. Now she may try and gently intercept and suggest that she should pay for her half, and you should insist on paying because you want to.
If you are dealing with a well-balanced girl she will be thankful and impressed.
Now if she starts throwing a women’s lib fit, you might want to think about whether or not you really want to date someone that can’t even appreciate a little bit of chivalry.
5. Do you love me?
This question screams out insecurity. If you have to ask it, chances are pretty good she doesn’t. And if you need the affirmation that she does love you, it will grow old fast and she will reflect upon it negatively over time.
Psychology Today experts report that insecurity is a key factor that turns women off. Just don’t ask the question and you don’t have to worry about anything.
6. Is my size okay?
Now what kind of question is that? If she isn’t complaining, don’t even bring it up. And if she is complaining what do you plan on doing about it? It’s not like you can trade it in for a size larger or a little bit wider? And with this question, you’re either bringing into question your insecurities or your ego; if you’re “that” big.
Don’t even bother with this question and you’re fine.
7. How come you have to be a b#@%^ sometimes?
Of course this question sure as heck better not happen in your first meet or two. In fact, it should never come to surface. It’s accusatory with no direction or specifics. A generalized slap that’s asking for conflict. If your date is having a “moment” there are a zillion ways to ask her what’s going on and this route isn’t one of them.
8. I’m going to get something to eat, would you like a salad?
Again, it’s rough waters if you are assuming that your date wants to eat like a rabbit. What if it’s her cheat night and she wants a burger and fries? Or maybe she’s just gotten over an eating disorder and the last thing she needs is some sort of asinine food comment.
Just ask her what she would like to eat and you’re safe.
9. Are you still hanging out with your guy friends?
You better hold your horses here because this sort of question is not a good reflection on you. Just chill because unless you see some sort of legitimate threat with a guy that is friends with your girl, it’s really not an issue. So don’t make it one because you will be the one left out in the cold.
You trust or you don’t trust. Makes it easy.
10. Can I have a look at your messages?
Talk about breaching trust. Unless you have overwhelming evidence your girl is crossing the line with other guys, you have no reason to snoop around stuff. Reading her text messages when she’s gone to the washroom is betrayal.
Newsflash…If you do this, she will find out. And when you find nothing you’re going to be ancient history.
So think long and hard before you ask this question.
You may also like our article: Cute Things To Say To Your Girlfriend.
11. Are you having your period?
Yikes! Just because a girl is a little moody does not mean she is on her period! Actually it’s usually the day or two before her period where her hormones are really flying high. But that doesn’t really matter. Never ever ask that question and you’ll keep your genitals intact.
When dating, it’s very important that you know good questions to ask a girl so that you nail that ultimately do or die first impression. It’s not like you can hit rewind and try it again. And just as important as asking the right questions is knowing what not to say; which can be a red flag signal for a girl to bolt.
Stop for a minute and think about the question before you ask it and with a little luck on your side it should be smooth sailing from there. Dating is supposed to be exciting and fun. So relax and let the cards fall as they will.