Do you absolutely hate not having a girlfriend? When you think about not having a girlfriend, do you get upset and angry or frustrated and depressed? Do you feel negative in any way? If you do, then you may be affecting your mental and physical health negatively.
I’ve talked about a guy who wanted to kill himself because he couldn’t get a girlfriend. In that article, I talked about why it is important to gain confidence and understand that some women are just plain mean.
But in this article, I want to talk about why resisting the truth (reality) of your present circumstance is pointless.
Resistance Is Futile
Resistance: the refusal to accept or comply with something.
Resisting the fact that you are single is ridiculous. Talk about doing something pointless! It doesn’t get you a girlfriend. It doesn’t make your life any better. It only brings about a whole host of negative thoughts and emotions. It really has no point – expect to make you be hard on yourself.
If you hate not having a girlfriend, then – yes, you are resisting the reality of your life. You are refusing to accept your life as it is, and you are wishing to have your life as it is not. Moreover, you are not positively wishing for your life to bring you a girlfriend, you are focused on your lack and the negative aspect of not having a girlfriend.
Common things that you may say to yourself are:
- I should have a girlfriend by now.
- I have blown my chances with so many good women.
- The only thing that will make me happy is a girlfriend.
- I’m a loser because I don’t have a girlfriend.
- I’m lonely because I don’t have a girlfriend.
- A girlfriend would make my life better.
All of those thoughts are putting up resistance to the reality of your life. You are judging your reality (no girlfriend) as bad, and you are not accepting that it is okay to be single (or exactly where you are right now). You are attaching negative thoughts and feelings to your current reality of not having a girlfriend.
The worst part is that you are affecting your life negatively by resisting your reality. All those negative thoughts are taking up a lot of your time that could be used in a much more productive way. And, the emotions like anger and frustration that come from those thoughts are causing stress on your mind and body.
You are not able to relax and be present (a very important part to being happy) because you are so focused on not having a girlfriend and all the reasons why you don’t have a girlfriend.
Sure, there may be fleeting moments, hours, or days when you feel good – but if you really hate not having a girlfriend, eventually you will turn your focus to the lack of a girlfriend in your life and stir up all those old, negative thoughts and feelings again.
As you think these negative and self-defeating thoughts, your body is paying the price for your mind’s inability to relax and just be present. It is proven that stress causes problems in the body.
And, all of this is occurring because you cannot accept reality – the reality that you don’t have a girlfriend.
In reality,
- You are alive.
- You are breathing.
- You have many other aspects of your life.
- Your life is fulfilling, even without a girlfriend.
- You don’t have a girlfriend (have I said that already?)
Accepting What Is: Your Life Without A Girlfriend
You don’t have a girlfriend. That is the reality of it. Don’t label it as a bad or good thing – just accept it as part of your life right now, because it is a part of your life right now.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t expect a girlfriend in your future, or desire a girlfriend, or work on yourself to become a man that women will be drawn towards, but it does mean that you don’t judge the lack of girlfriend in your life as a negative thing.
You can start accepting ‘what is’ by living in the moment. In the moment, you don’t need anything. You are doing. You are living. You do not need something or someone to make this moment any better than it is – you simply need to enjoy it and be present in it.
It’s when you start thinking about the future or the past that you start to get into the ‘I hate being single’ mode.
Yes, it might be nice to share this moment with someone special, but you don’t need to share it with someone in order to feel good. Your awareness of the moment is enough to make this moment good.
Happiness Without A Girlfriend Can Be Reality
Don’t let media, TV, or friends influence how you feel about your life without a girlfriend. Anything that anyone says is purely opinion, not reality – and your goal is to be in reality.
For example, when your friend says that the best thing in life is having a woman to love – it is his opinion, not reality.
When TV makes it look like single guys are sad and lonely – it is the opinion of the writers, not reality.
In the end, it is all about how you judge your life – the perception that you put into it – that affects how you feel about any situation. When you stop judging things as good or bad, you remove the resistance against it and help yourself feel content with whatever is happening.
So, stop hating your life without a girlfriend. Don’t judge it as bad. Accept your life as is, and work towards getting a girlfriend if you really want one.
