Partners in romantic relationships become heavily intertwined; you may watch the same TV shows as your partner, eat the same foods, even pick up some of the same vocabulary. Yet, partners’ emotional paths are more similar to two different sets of mountain ranges than two parallel valleys. It’s likely that your girlfriend will go through a difficult time, whether it is the grieving of a loved one, a change in career path, or an injury or mental illness while everything is going fine in your life and vice versa. Empathy is the cornerstone of every important relationship; giving your partner the support and love they need—through both actions and words— will armor your relationship with the longevity and strength it needs to thrive.
Tune in to Her Emotional Energy
Everyone has different methods of dealing with the problems in their lives. Your girlfriend may not be ready to open up to you right away. Or she may only want to talk about the problem a little because it brings her back to a vulnerable, negative place which is uncomfortable for her. Let her know that you’re there for her and that you’ll help in any way you can, but don’t force it.
Listen to Her
If she does decide to confide in you about what’s on her mind, actively listen to what she’s saying. Many of us are guilty of tuning out while others are talking, thinking instead about what we’re going to say next or, even worse, talking over them. Even if what your girlfriend says is upsetting or confusing to hear, try to take it in, so that you can respond more effectively.
Distract Her
Find fun things for the two of you to do together to guide her thoughts away from ruminating on whatever is getting her down. Maybe she’s been talking about wanting to try the new trampoline gym in town or trying kayaking. Taking up a new and exciting activity together will not only take her mind off her troubles, but may also bolster your relationship satisfaction.
Make Her Feel Appreciated
Express gratitude for all the things she does for you, large and small. Convey to her that you don’t take her efforts for granted. Don’t forget to tell her all the positive thoughts you have about her such as how much you love waking up to her first thing in the morning or how much you look forward to seeing her after a long d