Today a woman commented on a post regarding what your breakup with your girlfriend will tell you about her. In the article, one thing I talk about is how you may think you have a supportive girlfriend, but then she left without a word to never contact you again. She doesn’t bother to send you a message. And she doesn’t say a thing. In the poll on that article, the majority of voters say that their worst experience with an ex-girlfriend was when she disappeared completely and left them with more questions than answers. There’s basically two big reasons for that.
There are women who do that because they are too much of a coward to tell you how they really feel about you and what they really want. Maybe they found someone else and don’t want to see the look on your face when they tell you. Maybe they just don’t feel the same about you that you do about them and they are too scared to admit it to your face. They are cowards, plain and simple. They don’t want to hurt themselves, so they just hurt you instead.
But, what I failed to mention, is that there are also women who will leave without a word because they have simply had enough, and they know that talking to you will do no good.
Following is the girl’s comment:
I’m a girl who recently disappeared on a guy. This was completely out of my character and I’ve never done it before nor did I think I’d ever have the capacity to do so. It’s just that after the 100th bright red flag and realizing that trying to sort out/understand by talking would only end up with me being beat up emotionally, I decided the most loving and respectful thing I could do for myself was to walk away immediately and block to protect from further abuse. Any guy or gal who has had an experience with a cluster b or emotionally abusive type will know, this is a game changer and shutting the door becomes the only option.
Will your girlfriend leave without a word because she has had enough or knows it is the only way she can leave? If you are a guy who:
- Isn’t willing to talk to your girlfriend about problems she is having
- Blames her for things that are not her fault
- Ridicules her for her feelings
- Overreacts to a simple question, comment, or feeling she has
- Leaves her feeling worse about herself, your relationship, or you after a conversation
Then yes, there is a good chance that she won’t want to talk to you about how she feels and, while it may feel sudden to you, one day decide to get up and leave you without a word. Why would she bother talking to you about it when she knows that conversations with you go nowhere productive?
How To Avoid A Bolting Girlfriend?
You have to be open to mature communication with your girlfriend. If not, then she won’t feel comfortable talking to you about her issues and she may very well feel the only way to get out of the relationship is to walk away and disappear so that you can’t make her feel bad or emotionally abuse her anymore.
And you have to treat your girlfriend with respect, or what do you expect? Do you expect her to break up with you in a lovingly way because you have treated her so well all these months or years? No. She’s going to take off and try to disappear out of your life so she doesn’t have to put up with you anymore. Or as this commenter said, she will leave without a word to protect herself.
Why Did She Leave Without A Word?
The bottom line is that if your relationship is healthy and consists of solid communication, trust, and respect, then she shouldn’t just up and leave you. If she does, then that’s completely on her, and she doesn’t deserve the respect that you are giving her.
But, if you were treating her poorly or abusing her in any way, then she may have left without a word because she felt like talking to you was pointless or she felt like it was the only action she could take.
When you look back on your relationship with your ex-girlfriend, there is a good chance you will be able to tell which reason she had.
Tom says
Yep coward was cheating I had to dig for the truth all I got was blame shifting , lies, gaslighting, typical cluster b behaviour..she cheats,abuses me and now hates me cause every time she sees me she sees how shitty she is in comparison..lord only knows what she will do to her new guy once he catches on he is being used for $$$$$
Mike says
My last ex (6 years ago) just disappeared. It was very painful and still is all these years later. She was mean during the relationship and I never really felt that she loved me back. It really changed me as a person. I think that she was a coward but also probably knew that talking about it wouldn’t do any good as I clearly wouldn’t have been happy to hear that she was leaving. It is still something I’m mourning over and I wish I could move forward.
admin says
You can move forward. Just stop looking backward.
She was mean and didn’t treat you in a way that made you feel loved, so why are you giving so much thought to her? Why are letting a woman who didn’t treat you right – and just left you, dictate how you feel and what you do with your life? She doesn’t deserve that and neither do you.
stan says
She left me Friday f*cked a dude at work she quit because my mom works there and he letting everyone know how he had her
J St.Hilaire says
Keep ya head up Mike, what don,t kill you, will only make you stronger. Become a new better version of yourself in every sense and know there will be a greater love out there
Love says
I am woman and I agree with the article 100%.
What is described in is is a very common problem and yes it happens A LOT.
Here is another interesting article ’75 reasons she dumped you’ http://beluckyinlove.net/75-reasons-she-dumped-you/
Read through these points and see if you are guilty of doing them. If you ARE then you could be in a pre-breakup situation.
Shiv says
The biggest problem with women is that when they love they love unconditionally and a lot and when they hate (Don’t generally tell why) they hate ceaselessly and again so much without assigning any reason,A girl left me without assigning any reason and trust me it is very painful and i pray to god to give her more pain and may she dies= in peace .Amen
Jennifer Stevens says
I am a woman who dated a guy for almost 2 years. If I tried to talk about something that wasn’t going right in our relationship, he would go silent, ignore me or say he was sorry, but repeat the same behaviors over and over. The final straw was that for several days he was short with me through text and I could feel the same cycle beginning again.
Finally, a light bulb turned on and I blocked him. I had zero desire to contact him like I had done 1000 times before. I was exhausted, numb and worn out. I literally had zero words to say that could fix this; I had said it all. I’ve decided to take time away from dating and focus on myself and my happiness. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. I have my sanity back!
Love says
You did the right thing. When we love too much we tolerate the intolerable BUT there is always this point in time when we feel like we have had ENOUGH. The funny thing is that usually it is the point of NO RETURN.
When it happens they act like they are in disbelief or you have a ‘bad day’. It may take several attempts on their part to actually REALIZE that you mean business. Bye bye jerk!!
Waseem Khan says
yeah you are right in love we sometimes bears a lot but then comes a limit as well. that is where things start to change and shocks everyone around
Vanessa says
So true I left a relationship without saying a word and cut off all contact with my boyfriend, I got tired of telling him what I wanted, I got tired of telling him that I should come first not his friends, I got tired of telling him that I want more than what we had, he spent the weekdays at work so did I, he wouldn’t come home until about 8 or 9 at night I was already getting ready for bed, then the weekends came and we hardly did anything but run errands and most of the time we ran errands separately. I would tell him all the time that he made me feel unwanted and an option vs a priority so I split after the last time I told him how I felt. The conversation was pointless. He texted the first 3 days asking to talk the last time I heard from him he said in sorry I can’t be the man you need im sorry this is the last time you will hear from me im going to block you now. It’s been 3 weeks and I never said a word to him. I love myself more and I know I deserve much better and I feel a lot better. His loss…..
Julia says
I vanished too….Our relationship lasted 1 year and everything was about him. His needs and pleasing him whenever he wanted. It had to be right away otherwise he will feel upset and he would say ” you dont love me”.I felt unwanted and like a zero. It was impossible to talk to him bc he would always twist things and over reacting for everything. I asked him many times to please be gentle at the end that was all I asked for and seems that was a lot. A few days before the break up I told him I didnt feel valued and he said…” Valued for what?” That made me feel really bad. Of course his friends were always first. Sleep depravation, all messed up diet and controlled among others.
It’s been 2 months since the break up. At least now I can sleep and manage my time. I deserve to be loved and pleased as well so now it’s time for myself.
The one says
After suspicions throughout the relationship and a feeling of unease, I found out 6 months after the fact that my ex boyfriend had cheated on me with a girl who was ‘just a friend’. My intuition was correct and he was so cold and unapologetic after the discovery. I was devastated and so upset. He was unremorseful really although I loved him with every once I had within. He believed I would allow him another chance and didn’t want to give up power. I left him hanging and never responded to his texts or calls nor will I ever. I sleep well at night now finally and am finally feeling at peace although it hurts. Look after yourself first and foremost when it comes to people like this. Just because somebody like that is worth so little doesn’t mean you need to allow them to make you feel that way too! I can’t wait to fall in love with somebody wholesome and true.
Aaron says
I was with her for 2 years, she was 26, I am 44. I was always very leary in the beginning if it would work and even was adamant about it! But we fell in love! I took it slow but always showed her that I cared about her. She also had a 2 year old that I loved, her family was great! I became one of them! But emotionally she always kept me at a distance, things would be great than she would abruptly call it off. We would usually get back together and we were always very good to eachother when together! This last time when went on vacation came home getter along wonderful for a week and then she just stopped communicating with me altogether at once! I gave her space, then 2 weeks pass and i ask whats going on? I get short cold text saying I don’t want to be with you! Respect that for once!, I was devastated but she has been erratic in the past but this time I knew it was different, she was cold and distant unlike before, so I left her alone for 10 days and ran into her , she seemed so happy and like it never affected her! It just breaks my heart, I guess i thought we had a special connection but it ended so cold! What happened? I was a good person to her, not over bearing, and she showed genuine love for me!
Carol says
You were great,no need of beating up your self for sins you didn’t commit,she must have been seeing someone else and using you as backup plan in case it didn’t work with the other guy,good things don’t happen to good people so they say but you will surely find some one who will appreciate you and love you genuinely.
Shattered Soul says
We started dating when she had just had a nasty breakup and I was done with my current relationship minus the formality of getting my things. We both knew that we weren’t ready but the connection was so strong we couldn’t help it. Agreeing to always be friends, RIGHT. Fast forward 2.5 years, she went to see her kids for the holidays and I had to stay and work…just like Everytime we were apart for more than a day or two she started having doubts, thinking I was cheating or talking to someone else and she would say she was done. Then after we talked things over she would apologize and tell me how wonderful I was and how lucky she was and we were going to be great..,she came back home, started a new job as I was finishing up my current project..I went back to my hometown to see my daughter for her birthday and spend a week since I’d missed Christmas working…everything was great, no hints of her usual feelings when I was gone…one morning about 3 days into my trip I got the usual good morning love, miss you, hope you have a good day.. and not another word for almost 2 weeks…I called, text, sent people to check on her, called her family, nothing..then I get a text “I’m ok, I’m sorry.” Nothing more for another 2 weeks…then she called because I was in a rental car in her name when I went home and she wanted to know where the car was and when I was bringing it back..no how have you been, are you ok, nothing…I took the car back, returned it, and needed a ride from the drop off back home and she wouldn’t respond, text me back anything…we’ve spoke 15 minutes in the last 2 months and in those conversations if I start asking questions as to why or anything prying she suddenly has to go and I’m shut out again… she knows she has trust/abandonment issues from previous relationships and kept promising me that she would talk to someone about them, I truly love her with my entire being, Id bought an engagement ring and planned to propose on Valentine’s Day but she left on the 26th of January…I guess they felt bad for me when I returned it on Feb 13th (she called the 12th about bringing the car back) and had a complete breakdown in the store. I still end up in tears at some point atleast daily..She refuses to even speak to me now. The most I got out of her was via text and she apologized for not being good at our relationship, I offered to work through it and seek counseling myself but she said it would never be the same. She always assumed she knew how I felt when we did have fights but she wasn’t ever right. I feel like I have been paying for the assholes she dated before me mistakes. Like she was trying to make me into one of them so she didn’t feel bad for leaving?
Maria says
I have been left high and dry by my boyfriend. There has not been a story I have read yet about a man that leaves his girl out of the blue after 2years together! What do u guys think that does to a person? I am a good person and do not deserve this. I would like to get past this heartbreak but I have no idea what to do. I have no clue where my ex is as he has blocked me completely everywhere since the day he left me. This was 4weeks ago. It’s painful
rob says
probably a bit late for this, but i think writing will help me, you see, it doesn’t matter whether you are male or female, it’s about having the genuine capacity to empathise with others feelings. and most of these articles are right, it is cowardice but more so, it is sociopath and narcissism, i dont say that likely either. my girlfriend of 7 years ended our relationship without any real solid reason, only weeks before she had said as she had always said during our relationship ” i love you so much babe, god i dont know what i would do if you werent in my life,” four weeks later she went, i asked for a reason, for closer purposes, her reply was, i’ll terll you for the last time, theres no-one else. dont contact again or your find it hard to move on. ….sorry.” and that’s been it, that was in june, it’s now end of october and no contact at all. i cannot get my head around it or move on, i noticed about a year ago that things might be wrong, actually, almost a year ago today, she came over and out of the blue said, “ive still got it, some bloke at the garage asked for my number.” now, she was a very attractive woman, and dressed to attract,(yet would always say “oh im nervous around men.” yet dressed for nothing but attention from men? anyway, as she mentioned the guy at the garage, knowing her for 7 years, i had an overwhelming “knowing” that she took the number, but i was conflicted as i would never in a million years think she would betray “US” (and thats the hurt, the “US”). anyway i let it go thinking it me overracting, but then, she started not be able to come over as often coz her kids 13 and 19 yrs, then my birthday was flat, hers was, and my sons was, she seemed disinterested. xmas was shit also, i hardly saw her, the thing is, i kept asking if something was wrong, if she wanted to move on etc, but she kept assurring that she loved me, but then i did tell myself that this is not my imagination, then one night in a phone call she just said, i need to spend more time at home with my kids,(mainly the 19yr old troublesome daughter, just a normal teen, but in the nxt breath said, she may go on holiday with just her and her boy!!!WTF) that was it, didn’t see her for a couple of weeks, i called her, in tears as i just couldn’t understand, she came over, we talked, i said we will just juggle things, she said how much she had missed me, then the old; “i cant imagine life without you.” so we agreed to find time when she could, then, she did what she had been doing for a while, she dropped a red-herring, my ex is a mobile hairdresser, and she said, well one of my clients asked if i wanted to go to her 56 birthday bar-b-q, it’s only a client, ill come see you then, she said, anyway, sunday, i call her and ask what time she is coming over, oh, she said, ive just fimnished work, ive got to get home and get to that bbq? ok i said. i later txt and said, ill be honest, i am a little upset that you chose a clients bbq rather than see me. she replied, i cant juggle everyone, i like to see my friends. i never heard from her again, until i mentioned earlier. you see, nothing had changed, she didn’t have to juggle, she could see her friends when ever she wanted, generally, she never wanted to, she liked staying in “cosied” up! i never got in the way of her and her kids, and we ALL have to juggle friends, work, family tc, nothing special there. she has made all the last 7 years, mean nothing. thats what i am devastated about, she refused to give me closer of any kind, she clearly, lied and decieved for a year, is that what i meant, after all the wonderful holidays, laughs, completely same wave length, brilliant sex and love making, it all appears, to her anyway to have meant nothing. she has acted like a teenager (she’s 38) i told her if it’s someoe else, i get it, it happens, but she just kept saying theres no-one else, it’s this, or that, she never gave any credible reason, also, she knows i know she was bullshitting, and that really hurt, it was like a child whos face was covered in chocolate, denying that they ate the cookies. whats more, im a therapist, i know all the shit! but, when one person, who has known another for a long time, in a good relationship just ends it, without closure, that is cruel, cowardly, sociopathical, immensely self-centred, CRUEL and COLD, especially if you knew our history, it is the act of an adult operating from a child ego state, it is avoiding, emotions, reality and responsibility. a mother of a missing child would, rather know that the child had died than never know at all. it is the pinnacle of punishment when it comes to relationship ending. i helped her from day one, i never ever wanted in return or used in anyway to my advantage. and it is the not knowing , the no closure and the resentment of “what a waste of 7 f*cking years,” it werent real, it cant have been! i had broken up with a previous girlfriend of 6 years before i meet this one, but when we broke up, as painful as it was, it was done as adults, the memories will mean something, we have contacted a couple of times ver the past 7yrs, she has settled down, has a child, i would openly welcome her, and her family in to my home (never happen but the point is made) because i still love her, but not the old way, we had good times, she was a good person, and it all meant something, because we made it so by ending as adults.i begged her not to in the end, but she was the stronger and more realistic one in that moment, she called the right call, i dont hate her, i respect her, WE WERE ADULT ABOUT IT. this current one, not even close, im angry that i will not be able to look back as i can with others, as for the person who thinks its “ok” to just walk away without giving a f*ck about another persons feelings, i suggest you recalibrate, and until you do, do not drag some por f*cker in to a rel;ationship with you!Pratt! as for my ex, thers a known “symptom” for what she did, it is basically leap frogging, as relation breaks ups are mostly about someone else (fact) leap-froggers do just that, they balance two relationships at the same time, until they are sure of what way they want to go. that also gave my ex a year of “distancing” herself without me really knowing (or so she thought) so basically, by the time she dumps me, she is actually a YEAR further on than me, thats why they appear as if they dont give a fuck. the no contact ever, is again child, it’s basically saying, that kitten i wanted for for long and got, and have loved for years,well ive got a puppy now, so the kitten can fuck off. dont disturb or mess up my new life. i actually sent her an article on leap-froggers, and the fact most relationships break up coz someone else, thats when she said there wasn’t. so now basically, for weeks, i have been unable to push through, i will, but the fact is, without closure it just takes so much longer. i hate her for making me hate, that will eventually dissipate to eternal loathing. but there is no doubt it has rocked me to the core, and with a very limited net work of friends, it really hard at times, although it doesn’t help much at the moment, i am eternally grateful that i have my ethics and not hers.
Erin says
My husband started physically abusing me and lots more verbally.I contacted the police and he blamed me for doing so.I left and without a word went back a week later to collect my things,again i never said a word.enough is enough.I am free,and getting on with my life without this monster.He has been lying to his family that i made all this up,even although he broke my leg,he was in a drunken blackout and dosnt remember..i do,so I am gone.
Tenzinchoden says
Well in my case, I decided to leave my boyfriend without Words because I feel I had it more than enough, not just enough but more beyond to the extend where I nearly Took my life several times.. I love him truly and it’s hard for me to do it n I m physical mentally emotionally damaged because of his intense unbearable verbal and emotional abuse. I was walking on a eggshells to avoid making him upset. I’m the always one to take all blame for his abusive behavior and I suffered so much in silence..and wasted tears on him.
I literally want to burst out into tears right now.. Because I loved this guy, I realized I was in emotional abusive relationship aftee5months..i can’t explain how traumatizing it is! I feel used..
Because my intention was I was going to spent rest of my lives with him but his intention was completely different. I lost my virginity to him willingly with all good intents which later turned into unexpected disbelief which caused me emotional trauma and finally I decided to get rid of it…🙄🤒🤒
rob says
sorry to tell you this, but you dont love him, you never did, you need to get yourself to an organisation run by women that have been thru what you have been thru. they will tell you the same. to be able to love someone, i must know what love is and love myself first., if i loved myself, i would never allow someone to abuse me. the reality is you were dependant on him, you were both dependent on each other ” co-dependency,” in order to fulfil a dysfunctional dynamic. you need to talk to someone about your past, why you feel you deserved such treatment. if you get the right help, trust me, further down the line, you will understand that you never loved him, and he most certainly did not love you. and you will never let it happen again, seek out self-worth help also. good luck, you will need courage (you already have that) you will need honesty and the right support, but when you achieve it, it is amazing. and stay away from the guy full stop!
James B says
We met and hit it off like I’ve never experienced before. RED FLAG – her longest relationship by her mid-30s (despite having all the positives on paper) was 1.5 yrs, the length of ours. We got engaged quickly and she pushed for it. Though it felt right for me as well. Our first fight, which was mild, and she drove to another city to visit a friend for a week. We were living together by this time. Prior to this she was like a schoolgirl in love. That broke the illusion however we still had so much chemistry. Ultimately she cheated then I cheated. I hate her and her selfish outlook. It is all about her and I hope she has a shit life. I will never trust again.
Nola says
I left my boyfriend without a word. I was talking on the phone with him and in the middle of his sentence, I hung up the phone on him and blocked him on everything. He was being argumentative at that time. I haven’t talked to him since. He is a broken man. He was very verbally abusive to me and I couldn’t stand his kids, especially the youngest one. He called me all kinds of expletives, ugly, low life, trash, b*&ch, making negative remarks about my body parts etc. He also loved to brag about himself and was just generally very annoying and argumentative. Also, he was a mooch. He would take anything from me that he could get for free: vacations, money, food etc. When things were going very well, he would start an argument. It was very peculiar. And then he would say that in his eyes things weren’t going well. I was with him for 2.5 years and I couldn’t take one more minute or second of his obnoxiousness, put downs and negativity.